Stand By Your Whatever: Gender-Bending Covers

Hey, Meh contributor @JasonToon here! How y’all doing? Me, I’ve been getting my family settled in another freaking hemisphere (two different hemispheres, really, Eastern and Southern) with the significant self-imposed handicap of losing my damn wallet on the flight down. No rental cars or international bank transfers for me! I’ll update you cats on my antipodean adventures shortly, but first, I gotta tell you about these weird-ass Adventure Time pint glasses.

We’ve got three sets to choose from, some featuring principle characters like Finn and Jake, and one set featuring non-major characters Princess Bubblegum and Marceline as well as their even less-major gender-bending counterparts, Prince Gumball and Marshall Lee. Weird, yes, but think about it: Should these glasses ever become “collector’s items,” which will be more highly sought after, the ones featuring characters everybody knows or the gender-identify-flippin’ ones only the hardcore fans ever cared about? In other words: Would you rather own a Bender shot glass or a Flexo one?

In any case, this Adventurous chromosome-twisting freakiness gives me a great excuse for my first Sunday playlist since I was north of the Equator. Pop music’s he-she boundary is rarely transgressed, but when it is, lo the sparks shall fly. We’re taking a step beyond genre-bending covers into gender-bending covers, and those who are insecure in their sexual identities should stop here lest our weekend playlist call into question the biological foundations of sexual blah blah blah, you’re gone already if this applies to you so let’s start the fun (here or in a YouTube playlist for those of you who prefer your androgyny in autoplay mode)!

The Raincoats - "Lola"
Take a gender-twisted classic and twist it again and nobody knows how they should feel anymore, especially with that amateur violin sawing away in their ears and other parts.

Mary Lambert - "Jessie’s Girl"
C’mon, admit it, you sing it “I wish I was Jessie’s girl” most of the time.

John Wesley Harding - "Like a Prayer"
Somehow makes the lines “Down on my knees, I want to take you there” even more sacrilegious.

Amy Winehouse - "Valerie"
Doesn’t even crack the top 50 of Amy Winehouse’s transgressions against propriety.

Ryan Adams - "Shake It Off"
Nobody ever criticized Bruce Springsteen for going on too many dates.

Joan Jett & the Blackhearts - "Crimson and Clover"
Joan has always refused to confirm or deny the personal implications of this one, but come on - have you seen her perform since she fell out of the spotlight? You’re not fooling anybody, Joan.

Kate Nash - "I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance with You"
Kate Nash turns the racial implications of the Black Kids’ original into gender implications for even more intersectional confusion!

Travis - "Hit Me Baby One More Time"
My very male, very straight musician dad, whose tastes run to Steely Dan and Earth Wind & Fire, once told me what a well-constructed song the Britney Spears hit was. Travis drives home the point by turning it into Dad rock.

Marina Celeste - "Orgasm Addict"
Buzzcocks’ Pete Shelley, who was gay, always wrote his songs from a non-specific gender viewpoint. But let’s be for real: if any of my female 8th-grade classmates were this hooked on jerkin’ it, they sure did a good job keeping it a secret.

Lyle Lovett - "Stand by Your Man"
Alternatively, see the Blues Brothers’ version.

I think we’ve all learned a little something about ourselves today. Share your feelings (and your favorite gender-bending covers) in the forum. And I’ll see you next week but not literally because my vision can’t bend over the International Date Line.

Not all of our weekend playlists will challenge your sexual identity:

• Lame Sequels
• Shine Bright: A Diamond Playlist
• Hot, Black, and Strong: A Coffee Playlist
• Can’t You Hear That Thunder?: The '80s Australian Invasion
• Weekend playlist archive