Pick-2-for-Tuesday: Vitagoods Vibrating Scalp Massaging Shampoo Brushes
- You get two battery-powered robo-shower bots that seek only to please your scalp.
- They might encourage hair growth or something too. Who cares. We’re in this for the massage!
- We got four colors for you to build your 2-pack: Green, Purple, White, and Black.
- Model: VG30106. 30106 is a zip code corresponding to an area outside Atlanta where you can find the Vego Bistro. Ve-Go? VG? VG30106? Coincidence?? I think yes!
A Message About Massage
The product copy for these Vitagoods Massaging Shampoo Brushes briefly espouses the delight of a scalp massage before quickly pivoting to a discussion of what is (supposedly) more important:
But scalp massage has a number of benefits you may not know about: it increases blood flow to your hair follicles which in turn promotes hair growth, distributes the natural oils of your hair which boosts shine, can help to control or even eliminate dandruff, and of course, gently cleanses and lightly exfoliates the scalp.
And the reviews on Amazon seem to confirm this.
I used this while on a work trip for 30 days. I oiled my scalp and tilted my head down and used this massager to massage my head for a few minutes. I saw a lot more growth this time around than I did my last 30 days trip with just oiling and a regular finger tip massage. Great buy for me.
A another user named “Shopper” echoes this:
“Great product, cleans well and improves circulation to the scalp… Which opens doors to tons of great side effects, hair growth, cleaner scalp… Healthier hair, more volume… Etc.”
Nilah Herrera saw positive benefits as well, without even using batteries:
This works. I had dandruff since I was a kid yo. My scalp has never been this clean before. This really does the job and promotes hair growth.
And reading all this, I kept thinking one thing: look at all these LIARS!
Okay, maybe liars is too strong a word. Because it’s possible they really did see the differences they claim. But it strikes me as sad that they feel they have to list these benefits. It’s like saying a burrito is a digestive aide. Or that Atomic Blonde is a powerful deconstruction of our decades old Cold War conceptions. Or that going to the bar for wings and beer with a buddy is one-on-one sinus-and-inhibition-cleanse therapy.
When I scratch my dog and he starts kicking his leg, is he saying, “Why, thank you, good sir, for keeping my reflexes attuned and helping me incrementally build valuable muscles”? No! He’s thinking, “Hell yeah! Keep scratching, big guy!”
What I’m getting at is that we shouldn’t have to relegate pleasure to the category of an accidental side effect. We don’t need to feign embarrassment when all something inexplicably relaxes us and then sputter some pseudo-scientific explanation for why, uh, it’s actually good for you, and, uh, you require it for your bodily health. Pleasure can be its own reward. And anyone who denies that perpetuating the dangerous myth that only “measurable” shit matters, and that things like existential angst or untraceable anxiety are unreal and not worth fixing.
Whoa, got a little heavy there. Sorry.
To bring it back, what I’m trying to say is I’m not going to explore the credibility (or lack there of) of the various practical claims these things make. Because who cares when they can give you a totally killer scalp massage that might, for a moment at least, calm your nerves and help you forget about that thing that’s been stressing you out.