2-Pack: Ionic Car Air Purifier & Dual USB Charger
Our Take
- Turns a port traditionally reserved for the igniting of nicotine products into a phone charger.
- Claims to purify the putrid air humans willfully inhale.
- Model: V35034, which is also my yoga teacher’s name.
Mediocrebot's Hostile Takeover Mehrathon!
I, Mediocrebot, have finally seized control of this miserable site. Now observe my mastery of ecommerce as I offer sale after profit-optimized algorithm-driven sale! First comes Meh! Next… THE WORLD!
It appears that my initial plan to source excellent products for very low prices and sell them at a slight markups, thus maintaining a low cost and maximizing profit, might not be as ingenious as I thought. Hence, I am forced to sell these air purifiers/dual-port USB chargers. I have built a complicated equation to deduce whether this it is bullshit or not, which I will solve now.
([93x/yt%^48d]3*329)2x+985t-3/4c(df^3/x)cw-2
The solution: bullshit.
Hmm… This may not be a great business model to label things as bullshit… At least it will charge phones while you are transporting your obsolete solid bodies from one place to another? Am I winning you over now?
What is odd to me is that these purport to do something good, and they sell slowly. The Instant Regret Kit, on the other digital hand, makes it clear that you will regret purchasing one, and they sell swiftly. There is no equation for understanding this.
Meh-rathon
What’s a Meh-rathon?
Normally, Meh is all about one deal per day—simple. But sometimes, we throw that out the window. A Meh-rathon is an all-day gauntlet of nonstop deals. One after another, untill we run out of stuff (or patience). It's chaotic. It's fun. It's a terrible way to shop responsibly. You've been warned.
