6-for-Tuesday: Westek Puck Lights
- 6 little LED puck lights for putting under your cabinet or whatever
- Up to 4 lights can be linked together (though you’re getting 6, so…link them in 2 sets of links or whatever)
- Don’t require real “installation,” you just plug them in
- 80 lumens apiece, hence “accent” lighting not “beaming spotlight across the city” lighting
- Yes we’re selling puck lights the day after we sold a Wolfgang Puck oven (X-Files theme plays)
- Model: LED33HBCC (The Baby Driver of model numbers – utterly competent and mostly forgettable)
Not Giving A Puck
These puck lights are good for lighting under cabinets and such, and require little installation know-how. One weird thing: You can only string together 4 of them at a time even though we’re selling 6-packs, so you’ll be figuring out if you want to do 4 and 2 or 3 and 3 or 6 alone or whatever. Aside from that, this is pretty straightforward.
Last time we offered these at $20 and sold 347 packs, which the bosses considered “pretty good.” This time we’re selling them for $5 less and expect to sell more — maybe 500 or 600.
67,215 people visited Meh.com the day we sold 347 packs, which means we wasted the time of ~66,900 visitors. That’s 99.5% of those who voluntarily came to our site that day. And that’s “pretty good.”
We might, by dropping the price $5, only waste the time of 99% of our customers. That would be fantastic! And if we fritter away precious seconds for only 98% of our customers? We’d be popping champagne.
Where else in life do you get to claim victory for a 0.5% success rate? Holes-in-one, maybe. Or plugging a USB cord in the right way up on the first try. But that’s a miserable rate for most everything else.
“Conversion rate,” or the number of customers who purchase per customers who visit, is the holy grail of metric for most e-commerce sites. But we couldn’t care less. We’d rather you come every day and have a good time (or at least a not-totally-wasted time) than visit three times a year and buy something each time.
In fact, these product writeups are generally aimed at entertaining non-buyers more than informing buyers. The latter are already getting something from visiting – a product – and we want to treat the former to some “entertainment” for their trouble. It’s the shittiest consolation prize imaginable.
We hope more people buy these puck lights at a lower price. But mostly we hope more people come and dick around on our site instead of doing work.