Too late It’s over

2-for-Tuesday: Infusion Water Bottles

You get two infuser water bottles: one for work and one for home, or one sweet and one savory, or one for you and one laced with poison for your enemies - feel the possibilities
Put some chopped-up fruit (or whatever) in the descending infuser chamber and taste it in your water (or whatever)
Screw-off wide-mouth top for gulping with gusto
BPA-free Tritan plastic in case you’re one of those weirdos who’d rather not have chemicals leaching into your drink
Model: CHC-90371 (it’s tempting fate to give your drinking vessel the same number as the NIH identifier for a strain of salmonella bacteria)

see more product specs

So Many Questions

Do you like to drink water with fruit in it? Why doesn’t that drink have a name, anyway? “Fruity water”? “Fruitwater”? “Barely juice”? Shouldn’t we have figured this out by now?

How do you get the fruit flavor in the water? Just throw it in there? Doesn’t that lead to pulpy messes in your water? Wouldn’t it be better if you could suspend the fruit in the water? Maybe in some kind of grated or screened container so the flavors could flow freely into the water without huge chunks of pulp?

What would you say to a water bottle with a built-in infuser chamber? What would you say to two such water bottles? Would you appreciate the fact that their BPA-free plastic won’t serve up your fruit-infused water with a side order of noxious poison?

What kind of fruit would you infuse your water with? You know it doesn’t have to just be lemons or limes or oranges, right? Have you ever considered raspberries? Pears? Pineapple? Marionberry? Did you know “marionberry” was a real berry, not just a joke about the disgraced crack-smoking former mayor of Washington, DC?

Why stop at fruit? What else could you infuse into that water? Tea leaves? Yerba mate? Rose petals? Jolly Ranchers? Chorizo? Why not?

For that matter, why stop at water? Do you like lime in your Corona? Lemon in your iced tea? Cherries in your Gatorade? Sour Patch Kids in your beef bouillon? Onions in your milk?

What is wrong with us? What makes us think it’s a good idea to gross you out when you’re considering buying this Infuser Water Bottle 2-Pack from us? Why do we do things like this? How do we stop? Can’t anyone save us from ourselves? Won’t anyone help us? Please? Please?

2-for-Tuesday: Infusion Water Bottles

So Many Questions

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