Too late It’s over

12-Pack: Hot Wheels Star Wars Die Cast Cars

12 Star Wars characters re-imagined as Hot Wheel cars for whatever reason
All your favorites including Yoda, R2D2, and Garazeb Orrelio (right?)
They all claim to be “1:64” scale models, but relative to what?
Pro Tip: Keep the cool ones like Vader and the Stormtrooper for yourself and give the other ones to kids who won’t know the difference
“Authentic and highly collectible” says the Amazon page, so you know it’s true
Model: CGW35 (You can take the George Lucas out of the company, but you can’t take the obsession with CG out of the George Lucas)

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Toys In The Fanatic

Don’t try to understand fandom. It lies beyond the realm of analytic comprehension. Asking why some adults collect Hot Wheels cars and others compulsive horde every Star Wars toy released since Empire’s release in 1980 is tantamount to asking why the universe exists. It just does. And they just do.

Instead, simply accept the fact that your spouse can differentiate the various Boeing 737 models on sight, and move on. There’s no use trying to understand how she knows so much about commercial aviation, and there’s certainly no use trying to understand why she does. It’s simply true.

With this mindset, we will now state some facts about those who would purchase these Star Wars Hot Wheels cars, free of analysis or judgment:

For Hot Wheels fans, these are obviously an opportunity to add several cars to their collection on the cheap.

For Star Wars toy fans, the same.

For fans of both Hot Wheels and Star Wars, these are basically an orgasm.

For fans of saving tons of money on something regardless of what it is, these are a jackpot (they sell for $5-$10 apiece on Amazon)

For fans of The Island of Doctor Moreau, the unholy mashing of animal/jedi/human forms in these toys will be most appealing. The Yoda car looks like it’s screaming while it lives in constant agony

For fans of scale models, the “1:64” ratio these purport to maintain will raise all sorts of interesting questions. Mostly: “1/64th of what? A car? A Yoda?”

For fans of the animated Star Wars Rebels series, the “Rebel Zeb” car will vaguely – VAGUELY – remind them of Garazeb Orrelios

For fans of unnecessary Amazon reviews, these offer a bounty, including this review on the Yoda car: “Darth Vader goes fast grandpa!”

Oh right, and for fans of making their kids happy, these should do the trick.