Tzumi 12,000mAh Power Bank with Quick Charge 3.0 USB & Lightning Port
Our Take
- 12,000mAh is enough to charge a smart phone seven times over.
- You could go a whole week or two without plugging in! Or, if your phone is like mine, maybe two days?
- We just want all the phones to be charged, okay? If you can prove all the phones are charged, we’ll stop selling charging stuff.
- Lightning ports and Quick Charge 3.0 USB ports. No thunder ports or 2.9 ports, though. Sorry.
- Model: 5264. Man, I sure hope this isn’t a case of someone at Tzumi confusing the ‘model number’ input box for the ‘last 4 of your social’ input box.
Your Take
A Fully Charged Adventure Story
Dearest Rodrigo,
I recently set out to find the Great Unnamed Sea, in the hopes that I might give it a proper title–the Sea of Gleg. As you rightfully supposed in your previous letter, I was disappointed. The Great Unnamed Sea, it would seem, remains unnamed because it is so entirely unremarkable. How it can be labeled ‘Great’ I have no idea, except that perhaps it is only in comparison to other unnamed seas, of which there are so few these days.
At any rate, such a boring and isolated locale as its shores gave me the perfect place to do some research into some unanswered questions concerning M and Fiona. What I discovered was this: M’s full name is Marshall Marlon. Having been born into extreme wealth, he’s made a number of investments over the years, the most notable of which was in a company that produced an innovative orthopedic pad. It was a great success, and put to shame its competition, a similar pad developed by podiatrist-turned-tormenter, Dr. Green. So, it is likely, that the doctor was not a mere hired goon assisting Fiona in her quest to avenge her former lover and my greatest enemy, Sir Oliver; rather, it seems that they perhaps had an agreement, wherein Dr. Green saw to my end, while Fiona saw the end of his enemy, M.
I still know nothing about the attack dogs who previously stormed into M’s chateau, except that they’ve returned: when I called M earlier to tell him of my findings, his butler informed me that, in the middle of last night, he heard barking, and furthermore, M did not come to breakfast this morning. The butler suspected he might be strolling the grounds, lost in thought. I have other suspicions.
Luckily I was able to conduct all this research and place the call without fear of my smart phone dying, thanks to the Tzumi 12000 mAh Power Bank I brought with me. The shores of the Great Unnamed Sea are not replete with outlets, after all!
I am sorry to say that I may have to postpone our annual tea at the summit of Kanchenjunga, as it appears M might need my rescuing. Perhaps we can reschedule for a time when both of us are not quite so busy. Although merely writing that is enough to make me laugh. A not-so-busy time? For men such as us? Ha!
Until our next great adventure,
Gleg Tamperhorn
