ELWN Endure, Flight & FIT Bluetooth Earbuds
- For $10 you get the ELWN Endure: they’re wireless sport earbuds (but not truly wireless) and get 9 hours of battery life out of a charge.
- For $16, you get the ELWN flight: these ones are also “sport” buds but they’re truly wireless (no wire connecting the two buds), and will last about 3 hours on a charge.
- For $22, you get the ELWN FIT: they’re sporty, truly wireless, and come with an infinity band (that adds 3-4 hours of additional life on top of the 3ish hours they last on a charge).
- For $15, you get both design variants for sale over at Mediocritee.
- Model: ELWNENDU, ELWNFLIG, ELWNFITB. This is an example of what we in the biz call the “accidentally started typing the name in the model number field” model number.
Nothing To See/Hear
You just never know when you’re going to need some earbuds! Especially wireless ones! More and more devices are saying good-bye to the headphone jack and hello to bluetooth! And with 3 options from ELWN–1 wireless, and 2 others that are truly wireless–there’s something for everyone! And what’s more, we’ve dramatically reduced the price from the last time we sold these! No longer are they $24,$34, or $44 respectively; we are now offering the same buds for $10/$16/$22!
What a deal, huh? So buy yours today!
As some of you have pointed out on the forums, the new prices, without the dollar signs, looks oddly like a date: October 16th, 2022. This is pure coincidence. It is definitely not a subtle hint regarding plans to, one day, in 3 years and a month or so from now, flip a switch that will activate a special node in these earbuds, thus reducing you to brainwashed fools who will construct the craft that will send members of our upper management into space, where they will conquer the stars.
Just to clarify: when we said we would “flip a switch that will activate a special node in these earbuds, thus reducing you to brainwashed fools who will construct the craft that will send members of our upper management into space, where they will conquer the stars,” it was just a single hypothetical thing that you don’t need to worry about these earbuds doing. Yes, it’s specific, but that’s our brand voice for you!
We see that some of you are opening the ELWN buds we sold last time and posting pictures of strange parts you’ve found inside. But, please: there is no need to be alarmed. All earbuds have a little node in them printed with our logo and the words ‘The stars will be ours!’ Please, stop the fear-mongering.
Okay, looks like people are opening earbuds purchased from other stores and finding no such node. Yikes. This one’s gonna be tough. You know what? Let’s just flip the switch and activate those bad boys, huh?
Looks like someone (Jarret) forget to build the switch. Ugh. Do we have egg on our face, or what! Anyway, enjoy your earbuds!