Ten Years a Goat (July 2024 scapegoat blame thread)

@mycya4me I am not sure I’d like grits with so much stuff in them

@tightwad FYI that was my Dad’s CB handle as he was! Grits is a food product that you add stuff to. Some like butter (like me, Butter ONLY) some like to add cheese, bacon ect… I have never heard some one eating them Plain!

@mycya4me butter I am familiar with, but adding PB&J and Banana are new ones…

@tightwad But they make a Great sandwich either the Jelly or Banana with PB. Some times with Honey!

@mycya4me Based on experience, expect any IRK to have twice the R. Does that count?

@werehatrack HAHAHAHA

@mediocrebot but where is the Bananas!

@mycya4me Bananas were not explicitly requested.

/showme a peanut butter and jelly goat with bananas

@mediocrebot HAHAHA

@mediocrebot OHMY!

@Felton10 A person I know went to the trouble of acquiring a message-on-hold device for their old landline many years ago. Among its features, it has the ability to play several different looping files of up to 10 minute duration. One of them features the voice of a long-time associate from his university days repeating the phrase “Do not end this call until released. Your statement is required.” in Mandarin, alternating with music that he filched from a Chinese provincial website.

@Felton10 whistles work

@Cerridwyn Only sort of. Nearly all non-cell phones have a limit on output volume, and all of the legacy boiler-room call director systems will reduce the amplitude of the sound reproduced to a fixed not-terribly-high level. Cell phones are not usually used by such call spammers. Ergo, no matter how loud you make the noise at your end, the worst that will be heard at the other end is a distorted, unintelligible mess caused by the failure of the microphone to reproduce the overly loud sound. But a perfectly audible recording designed to convince the spammer that they really don’t want to call back can be a thing of beauty.

@Cerridwyn @werehatrack If I have the time and the person on the other end is a jerk I will tell him how, in explicit detail, I will mutilate his sexual organs, fry them and send them to his wife/girlfriend telling them, as I was hired to do, I fixed his cheating habit for them and they can pay me now. That is usually enough to get THEM to hang up.

@Cerridwyn @Kidsandliz @werehatrack
I used to press all the various keys on my landline phone so they heard a bunch of beeps and boops until they hung up. Only I almost never pick up the landline anymore unless I recognize the number or someone legit starts leaving a message.

@Felton10 I finally just gave up my landline about 6 months ago. I too was getting an unbelievable amount of spammers and phishing calls, it started REALLY getting under my skin. It was when I realized that I WAS PAYING for them to call me (and another increase on my monthly bill) that I turned off my service! It was stressful and caused me anxiety to even think about only relying on my cellphone but I’m dealing with it! It’s way less stressful than dealing with those relentless jerks calling me daily! The one thing that I’ve taken away from it is that I’m extremely cautious about giving away ANY personal information to anyone who calls. GOD BLESS the customer service people who call from my insurance company, they get the third degree just to prove that they are who they say they are!

@Felton10 I don’t have a traditional landline, but my Google voice line serves the same purpose. My wife recently became eligible for Medicare, so we have been getting 8-10 solicitation/junk/scam calls a day for the last 6 months. Usually we just let them go to voicemail, but since many use fake local caller IDs, we occasionally pick up. When I do, I usually fake interest, but tell them that the battery on my handset is low and say I’m going to switch to another handset, then mute the mic and listen. Sometimes I can keep them on the line for several minutes, asking “Are you there?” before they disconnect. Other times I start talking porn language until they disconnect (usually pretty quickly). Gotta have some fun with it once in a while…

@werehatrack they didn’t used to, grin )

also a recording of a modem/fax

@Felton10 @Lynnerizer Some of the Calls I get to Buy my Property… well I have been here for 60+ years. So I tell them sure I will sell, for $1 million, I will NOT negotiate. Some ask why do you think it is worth that much, Well I said so & where would I go live?

@Felton10 @Lynnerizer @mycya4me I loathe those vultures. I never get the calls since I don’t pick up unfamiliar numbers but sometimes I get letters. Yeah, sure - I’m going to take an offer from some total stranger when I know what my house is worth?

@mycya4me I’m up to $1.81 million, six month occupancy, 90% earnest money in cash, no inspection, 50% forfeiture and contract cancelled if contract not executed within 30 days of earnest money. So far, I’m still here. (My price goes up a little with every call.)

@werehatrack I have a Nice Brick House, stick built. in the early 1960s & a mobile home with many Out buildings & a very well built Shop! I just might have to up my Price, with about 1 acre of land total. so Yea I just might have to up my Price!

@mycya4me ALF must own Joe’s Cat Shop.

@Felton10 Yep we are co-owners of Joe’s Cat shop we serve the Best Cat pizza on Earth!

@mycya4me Do you catch cats the same way ALF did?

@Felton10 Nope, I found a much easier way. I just dangle a piece of twine!

@Felton10 @mycya4me
These cats would like to have you over for dinner tonight.

@Felton10 @Kyeh OMG they would make Awesome Cat Pizza! Huge too!

LEGOS! EGGOS! STRATEGO! AWESOME!

@Felton10 @mycya4me Nah - YOU’RE the pizza.

@Felton10 @Kyeh I know how to handle ALL types of Cats. So Nope… they will be puddly in my hands!

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@Felton10 @mycya4me
You’re sounding kind of evil.

@mediocrebot You know it is Purrrrrfit! the Real Cat’s meow!

@mediocrebot what? No anchovies??

@ironcheftoni No meats at all, from what I can see. I will admit that we had a cat who’d have stolen all the tomato and cheese off of that, but the olives and pepper would not have met with approval.

@werehatrack I don’t know, I used to have a cat that would eat the olives and mushrooms off a pizza.

@ironcheftoni @werehatrack Tomatoes, garlic, etc. can make a cat sick and enough of it and they can die… My cats would definitely check it out although this bunch not as much as my earlier buddies who I had to teach that my dinner plate was not their dinner plate.

@ironcheftoni @Kidsandliz The toxicity of the allium family for cats is well documented, but I have run into quite a few cats who would eat large amounts of tomato with no ill effects. I’ve had at least two who had that proclivity, and I’ve known of several others. One of ours lived to the ripe old age of 24. And at 23 years of age, she was still trying to steal tomato slices from within the sandwich that someone was sitting at the table trying to eat. If I left a tomato on the counter in the evening, I would find a stub of it on the floor in the morning, well gnawed by carnivore teeth. I’ve suspected that two more of the ones around here were also participants in tomato abductions and mutilations, but I never caught them at it. Mina, on the other hand, was caught in the act more than once. And she would fight you for the remnants.