2 Pairs of Socks and a Magic Button
- 4 socks for $20. Eh, 4/$20?
- That’s 2 pairs of socks.
- And also a button. So really it’s 5 items for $20, which kind of kills the joke.
- Wait a minute, I know what to do!
- Takes a hit from a vape pen.
- Maybe, like, 4 is 5, you know?
- That’s better!
- BTW, about that button: it says ‘Are you stoned?’ And then when you turn it, it says, ‘Are you stupid?’ The answer to one or both questions must be ‘yes’ if you want the button.
- Also this won’t ship until May 1st.
- Hits vape pen again.
- But, like, what is time even?
- Model: I don’t care. What I want to know is what kind of nice item we’ll sell on June 9th?
Are you stupid?
That’s what the button asked, and it’s like, I don’t know, man, that depends on if you subscribe the traditional idea of intelligence or not.
Like, is it stupid to think that, if a sandwich is defined as a thing between two slices of bread, then a 24-slice loaf of bread is really just an 8-pack of bread sandwiches?
And is it stupid to think that a military fort built out of bass guitars guitars would be an ‘army basse’?
And is it stupid to think that when squirrels make a seemingly impossible jump from one tree to another, they’re being carried through the air by the ghosts of birds that died running into windows, doomed to live out the rest of time providing safe passage through the air to lesser species?
And is it stupid to think that a pepperoni pizza should really be called a porka-dot pizza?
And is it stupid to think that our voices get really high when we inhale a bunch of helium because our vocal cords are floating further up into our heads, kind of like how helium balloons float into the sky?
And is it stupid to think that if you put a hamster in every pocket of a pair of cargo pants, to bring them from one terrarium to another, they would cease to be ‘cargo pants’ and become ‘commuter pants’?
And is it stupid to think, when you see a cloud that looks like an animal, that maybe it’s the first step in a many centuries long heist plan by the clouds to rob a bunch of zoos?
And is it stupid–
Oh, wait. The question changed.
Yes. The answer to this other question is definitely yes.