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Four reasons why this Bottled Cheer would be the perfect wine to bring to a holiday party/potluck/family dinner/whatever:

1. It should arrive by Christmas

Okay, so not every reason is going to be this bad, we swear. After all, this isn’t very special. The wine you buy at the store tonight should also arrive at your house by Christmas, assuming you don’t get very, very lost. But we just wanted an excuse to make this clear: this wine should arrive by Christmas. (Also, if you buy it, we’ll contact you within two days to give you a $20 coupon for Casemates, good from now until the end of 2025. Which has nothing to do with the holiday party/potluck/family dinner/whatever angle, but nice, right?)

2. It’s holiday-themed, not holiday-flavored

A nose of blackberry, cherry, and warming spices? Smooth tannins? Light toasty oak notes? Cherry, plum, and vanilla on the palate? All wrapped up in a medium-bodied balanced wine with a round fruity finish?

It sounds fantastic, doesn’t it? Like something you’ll love sipping by a roaring fire. Or at a table on which has been set out a massive seasonal banquet. Or during the synthy instrumental bridges of “Last Christmas,” thus lubricating your vocal cords and shedding your inhibitions so you can unashamedly belt out the lyrics with a few old friends from high school.

But it’s not too seasonal, you know? It’s not like some sort of nasty chocolate candy cane martini or way-too-sweet stout that’s supposed to taste like eggnog. No way. The only thing that is overtly holiday-themed is the label, meaning the novelty won’t start to wear off as soon as December 26th arrives.

3. Almost no one will recognize it

You hear chefs say all the time, “We eat with our eyes first.” That goes for wine, too. People who shop for wine frequently know where certain vineyards end up: on the top shelf, the middle shelf, or the budget bottom shelf.

But pretty much nobody’s going to clock your Bottled Cheer and come in with a bunch of preconceived notions. Thus, when it knocks their socks off, you have two options. You can pretend you’re some sort of amateur sommelier with impeccable taste, and then wow all present with your generosity by offering to leave a bottle with the host. Or you can laugh and say, “I bought a 6/12-pack of this online for way less than 10 bucks per,” and then, again, generously leave one with the host.

4. If someone does recognize the bottle, it might bring about some of that holiday magic you see in movies

Imagine this: you arrive at the party and set down the Bottled Cheer. Someone you never met picks it up, studies it, then looks at you.

“There sure were a lot of fans there,” they say, with a sly smile.

“It was enough to make you miss the speaker docks,” you say, with a wink.

“I didn’t realize you two knew each other,” the host says, looking from one of you to the other, surprised.

“Well, in some ways we don’t know each other,” your new friend says.

“But in some ways, we’ve known each other for a long time,” you say.

Two years later, you’re married.

Maybe we went too far with that last bit. But you see what we’re saying.

In conclusion: it would be a great wine for a holiday get-together. So buy some, please. And get 20 bucks off at Casemates in the process.