Today's SideDealPick-Your-2-Pack: Exhart Gnomes
![Parody inspired by [post your guess] intended](https://d2b8wt72ktn9a2.cloudfront.net/mediocre/image/upload/c_pad,dpr_2.0,f_auto,h_400,q_auto,w_400/uutugm7xm4pcffkkobwr.webp)
Our Take
- Silly little gnomes
- Actually, they’re kinda big (up to 17" tall)
- Some Christmas-y, some not
- Can they make a margarita: With products like this, we’re relying on you to have had a few margs before buying, not after
Cute L'il Guys
“I will take the ring to Mordor!” said Frodo. Then, something occurred to him. “Though I do not know the way.”
“I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins,” said Gandalf, “as long as it is yours to bear.”
Aragorn stood now. “If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. You have my sword.”
“And you have my bow,” said Legolas.
“And my axe,” said Gimli.
“And our ability to cheekily enliven a garden or a front stoop,” came a chorus of small voices.
All assembled there turned their attention to the group of assorted Exhart Good Time Gnomes.
“Should I tell them?” Gandalf whispered.
“I think it would be best coming from Frodo,” Aragorn replied in a hush.
Frodo stepped forward. “Hey, guys,” he said, smiling, “you’ve been a huge help. Seriously. Without you, we wouldn’t have… uhh…”
“Laughed as much?” Legolas offered.
“Yeah, yeah,” Gimli offered. “We really appreciated your sense of humor along the way.”
The gnomes beamed with pride.
“But, well,” Frodo went on, “we can’t bring you further, because things are about to get very serious.”
“Doesn’t that mean you need us more than ever?” one of the gnomes said. “What if you come upon a flower patch that desperately needs a touch of personality? Or a deck upon which there’s only boring wrought iron furniture that tells you nothing of its owners zany side?”
“We’re just not really worried about that,” Gandalf said. “So, why don’t all of you guys stay here, okay? Maybe keep the mood light?”
The gnomes hung their heads. “Sure, that makes sense,” they said in unison, dejectedly.
Frodo and the others exchanged pained looks.
“Okay, fine,” Frodo said. “Maybe we could bring one of you.” He pointed to a gnome at random. “Why not you?”
The Eye of Sauron surveyed its kingdom. All was as expected, other than… wait, what was that? It narrowed its gaze at a strange sight.
Is that gnome over there, it wondered to himself, mooning me?
While the Eye of Sauron was thus distracted, the rest of the party was free to carry out their plan and defeat evil once and for all.
