Ella Jayne Home Lightweight Comforter

  • This comforter skipped lifting to focus more on cardio.
  • Or, this comforter is the Toad to your weighted blanket’s Bowser.
  • Or, this comforter… is very lightweight, available in 4 different patterns, and comes in either twin or full/queen.
  • Sorry. They can’t all be fun.
  • Model: EJHCF3, which stands, of course for, “efficient justifiable hospitable comforter for 3 [different bed sizes, although there are only 2 sizes of comforter].”
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Don't Sweat It

In the winter, your comforter is exactly what it says it is: a provider pure comfort, a straightjacket of coziness, a magical machine that converts one’s own body heat into something greater, a veritable sleeping pill. Soon, the days will get so hot as to warrant air conditioning, at which point you can once again use your comforter to barricade yourself from the cold, even if it’s artificial.

But we are entering the intervening months. Don’t get me wrong. This is the best time of the year. You can open the windows. You can wear pants or shorts. You can drink hot coffee upon waking and iced coffee for the rest of the day.

The only issue is your big bulky winter comforter, if you can even call it that anymore. Truly, the word ‘comforter’ is a misnomer in late April and May, unless you consider it comfortable to sleep in a soft, absorbent sauna.

And yet, you can’t quit your comforter. What are you supposed to do? Sleep on a bed with no blankets? Or a single sheet? You show us someone who’s comfortable like that and we’ll show you a FUCKING SOCIOPATH! We’d venture to guess that they don’t sleep at all. They probably stare at the ceiling and grin at the strange patterns and diabolical plans they see forming in front of their eyes.

Okay, we probably overstated that. Sorry to all our one-sheet/no-sheet customers. For the rest of us, the point stands: even when it’s warm, even when you know you might wake up in the middle of the night five times to flip and rearrange your pillows because you’re soaking them with sweat… you still want your comforter.

So why not compromise and get one of these ultra lightweight ones? That way, you’ve got a little bit of fluffiness atop your sheets to keep you warm in case a cool breeze blows in through the open window. But it also won’t spend all night bearing down and reminding you just how warm the resting body truly is.

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