the orange coats are coming, the orange coats are coming!!


at least, that’s what it says on this mysterious box i got from @sillyheathen

in order to gauge the size of this box, i’ve added a dog to the picture. as you can see, the box is approximately half a dog in size.

after receiving said box, i informed @sillyheathen that it might be a couple days since my girlfriend wanted to do the unboxing with me. and so, we waited.

finally, it was time to see what evil spirits and horrors laid within the box of orange.

what’s this? bubble wrap and west coast air pillows! i burst open an air pillow. it smells of fish and hippies. the next step is to carefully remove the bubble wrap and pillows. the boy proceeds to jump on the air pillows because LOUD NOISES.

the dog is not fucking impressed. oh well, let’s continue down our journey.

it’s an orange card and a very orange IRK bag. i’m sensing a theme here.

holy hell… there’s a lot of orange in there. my eyes need a minute to recuperate. we carefully remove each item. many "holy fuck"s were uttered. also, make sure you check the pockets! because cool shit resides within.

holy o-fucking-rangeness batman! here’s a full list.

screaming goat with a felt (?) meh blanket - video to come
another goat with orange meh blanket
gummy oranges
orange gummy bears
orange lollipops (non-gummy)
homemade orange mango pineapple tea blend - this will be perfect for next weekend when it gets hot out. of course, i’ll add some ice and vodka.
burnt orange mug
ORANGE socks - caps lock was required due to their orangeness
‘sorry in advance’ socks - orange flower to keep with the theme
Cinders orange shower gel - gf claims this is high quality stuff. i’m expecting her to steal it as some point. she’s like that.
Blood orange sorbet - but don’t eat it… it’s bodywash
orange eco-straws - will go well with orange soda
natural sponge for scrubbing dishes - least orange thing in the box
dried mango slices
good earth tea bag - this is the girlfriend’s favorite tea. i assume she’ll also steal this. she’s rude like that.
tazo wild sweet orange tea
apricot fruit rollups - i had no idea anyone even made fruit rollups anymore!
literal orange post-its
more orange post-its
thank you farmer clay mask

and now, we get to the crazy stuff. magnets. like… really. awesome. magnets.

here’s all of them in one pic. when @sillyheathen said something about sending a magnet, i complete did not expect this! these are just amazing! and, she literally took the orange coat pic and turned it into a magnet.

fucking magnets! is there anything they can’t do??

many many many thanks to @sillyheathen for this fucking amazing package. ZERO regrets here!