You live in a dorm - you have food in your section of the fridge? You have… certain things in your dresser drawer? You keep a box of stuff under your bed? For that matter, you want to your roommates to know that you would know if they were getting to know someone ON your bed?
I’d use this motion detector to alert me when the death squads Trump sends door to door arrive at my home so I can kill myself before they kill me. I’m old and a drag on society, and my insurance is gone when they repeal and don’t replace. Just a matter of time.
@justbuyit You don’t have to worry about the government sending “death squads” because Hillary lost. You’re safe and sound in your home for at least the next four years. LOL
@dave Thanks. I was kidding (although there’s always a nugget of truth in humor), but now I’m left to feel that my winning may have in some way confirmed my worst suspicions and this joke will become a self-fulfilling prophesy. I’ll make sure to modify it so it says “Fuck Fuck Fuck” as an alert and will it to @carl669 upon my (what is now most likely) imminent demise.
@calexander3103 I know! Fuckers are always taking baths, and never give any back. At least unpresidented Hair Gropenfuhrer gives showers to everyone indiscriminately (for everything else, he is the bigliest discriminator. The best! Believe me.)
@4771cu5
If nobody but you works where you are sleeping but you then you can put some contact powder stuff (forget exactly what it is called) on the floor. It makes loud crackling noises when someone walks on it. That should work.
A friend of mine works at the VA hospital. Joint counsel was doing their inspection, with some top VA administration, and they walk into some closet or storage area or something and there was a (supposed to be working) guy sleeping so hard he didn’t even wake up when they were discussing him. Since it is the VA, and this is MS, likely he didn’t get fired but I bet he finds a new sleeping spot.
The so called night security guard working here (not a good neighborhood) spends most of his night sleeping on the couch in the common area. My car is at the far end of the parking lot by the street and I am tired of being harassed by homeless guys - especially at night since the streetlight in the parking lot has been out since before I moved in. Of course I doubt he’d even be able to do anything even if he was awake. He waddles incredibly slowly going anywhere and no one is likely to be scared of him anyway. Likely a nepotism hire. I have taken photos of him sleeping on the couch though just in case I need proof he is not doing his job if something happens to someone while he is supposed to be working.
@Collin1000 Amy Sedaris recommends “A good trick is to fill your medicine cabinet with marbles. Nothing announces a nosey guest better than an avalanche of marbles hitting a porcelain sink.”
@mike808 I didn’t really read everything, but what happens if you destroy or lose a phone? Wouldn’t you be stuck with a locked item you could no longer open since you couldn’t pair it to the new phone?
If I had this, I would use it to alert me when the damn rabbit that keeps pooping in my (fenced in) back yard is back there. There are tons and tons of pellet piles of poop. I’d like to return some pellets to it.
@lichme I have a similar problem with pack rats. No idea how they get into the shed, crawlspace, etc. etc. Problem is that I don’t want to be alerted to their presence I want something much more disturbing and might even go for lethal. 90dB just isn’t loud enough to shift them (they just sit and stare at you when discovered). 120dB ultrasonic and you might have a product (would also work on teenagers…)
@haydesigner Do you know something I don’t? Meh’s going to have a deal on cats? Just so long as it’s not a two-for Tuesday which might solve the pack rat problem, but would introduce a different infestation. (I actually did get some pee-balls from a friend’s cat litter tray. Mixed with the dirt in one of the holes it seemed to work as a deterrent for a while. )
@a13z I can just imagine lying in bed at night and this thing goes off and then nobody rings the bell and I’m just wondering what the hell it was and I worry about it for days.
@annwat I think you may accidentally teach your slug to never move out of fear of the alert, but let’s try it out. Science! One Snail Monitor heading your way - instinctive-omnipotent-stream
@dave that easy huh… ummm I’d do so many things to this monitor if I were sent one… like can’t even describe in words but dismantling it would be just the beginning…
@patlasch I like this in principle, but what the hell do you do when it actually goes off? One Terrifying Monster Monitor heading your way - very-selfish-view (that’s an order number, not a personal judgment)
@daveJay Yes! We almost put this one in the story itself, but figured we’d anger our huge postal carrier community. Thanks for taking that on, one free Mailbox Monitor coming your way - sour-painted-instrument
@Omehgawd Get some old fashioned mouse traps. Pad it, so it won’t hurt your dog if it catches him (though it never has with mine) The snapping and sudden movement is enough to scare them away. I don’t even bother to set them any more - just seeing one keeps the paws on the ground.
This thing is going in front of the pantry. We are Day 17 of no eating after 8pm and twice I have raided the demon door. This thing is going right in the door so my wife knows when the munchies is going down at 10 pm.
I’m really glad that you’re doing something that should make a very big difference in your health. Another great tip to remember is it’s good to move after having anything to eat. Just try to remember the opposite of that old wives tale of not to go swimming and hour after eating. If you don’t go crazy with your calories you should be dropping weight pretty fast. Exciting and healthy!
I’m going to aim one at my crab apple tree so I can catch the creep who likes to come by right before harvest time and steal all my apples right before picking time.
The only way my puppy (ten months and ninety pounds, but still a puppy) tells us he wants to go out is to go downstairs to the basement. We don’t always realize he’s gone down until he’s come back up. Thankfully, no accidents recently, but I’d definitely use this in the basement hallway to alert me when he’s gone down so I can let him outside.
@t_marcus73 I have an orange and a tangerine tree in the back yard. The tangerine tree doesn’t produce much fruit and someone keep stealing them. I have a camera system and caught some of the people doing it on camera but they come from a large apartment complex down the street so there really wasn’t much I could do. They are little kids every time.
I would use this for my chimney next year. I can detect when Santa is coming down the chimney, finally catch that SOB and turn him into the police for stealing my cookies.
What I’d do with this is to break it open and attempt to hack it up to be some kind of remote detonator when the motion is tripped, not sure how but would be a fun project
I’d put one in my mailbox to detect when the mailman is being lazy and trying to give me one of those missed delivery slips so he can avoid walking my packages from meh to my front door. The jig is up, mail man!
@Mendanbar omg that happened to me multiple times, so I complained to the post master and my mail lady actually came to my house and confronted me! Watch out now! Lol
@Mendanbar I can’t count how many times the mailman has done this to me. Just because he is to lazy to climb one flight of stairs and actually deliver my package when I’m home I have to take time off work to pick it up because the post office has such limited hours.
@Mendanbar We’ve had similar experiences with our previous carrier. The local Post Master didn’t give a shit. But the national support line got results.
Luckily our mailbox now has the end-of-route bar code on its door so we sometimes still get screwed but they always show up - we hear their “I finished my route” scanner beep.
Amazing how (ironically) fast their package delivery confirmation system is - we get the “delivered” text as they’re stepping off the porch.
@JonSmith60606 Get a private mail box. Greatest thing I ever did. I’ve had mine for 20 years. Worth the $80 year to have real people receive my packages. The post office sucks.
@shannenelaine@JonSmith60606@RedOak Any of you live on Vashon Island? LOL, we sound like we could be neighbors! Or maybe terrible postal service is a universal truth.
@Fuzzalini I used to have a private mailbox for my LLC. The cost was more like 3-4 times your $80 and went up every single invoice.
Ironically, changed to a USPS box for about $60/year and as with the private box, got a street mailing address in an upscale zip code… and added zero added cost delivery of FedEx (in addition to USPS & UPS) packages at the PO.
@Mendanbar I think it’s just universal. One time the mail didn’t get delivered because someone was parked on the street somewhat close to our mailbox (like 5 feet). They couldn’t get the mail truck close enough to lean out the window and deposit the mail in the box so they left us a notice saying our delivery was suspended bc the mailbox was blocked. 1. Then how did you put the notice in there? 2. I have no control over the neighbors parking on the street 3. Get your lazy ass out the truck and walk two feet to my mailbox. Seriously?
@Mendanbar My mailman delivered a package from Meh today (Love the cheap pink speakers!). He’ll stop outside my house and honk. If I’m not home or I don’t come out, he’ll put the boxes in my car (which I leave unlocked and he knows it). If my car isn’t in the driveway, he’ll put the packages by my side gate. If they’re too big or he thinks they contain something valuable, he leaves a note and I’ll pick it up at the post office on my way to work. There have been times when he stops with a package on his way home, something that’s come in while he was on his route - I’m on his way home.
@Mendanbar We’re a small, rural post office. Everybody know everybody else. In fact, I went into the post office shortly after one of my horses died, and the women behind the desk offered their condolences.
I would protect myself from the zombie apocalypses starting Friday after Ttumpf takes presidential oats. Because we are all domed.
SEND MINE AS FAST AS POSSIBLE
This will be great when I have to run my generator because some storm or drunk driver took down the power lines. I can set up the sensor to sense the motion of some loser trying to roll the generator away. Or I might set it up in the laundry room to make sure the washing machine doesn’t dance across the floor.
I have a problem wit the got damn loch ness monster stealing my got damn motion sensors! He always come around wantin got damn tree fiddy, when I already gave him a dollah. What the hell is his problem?!?
@jaburg Not a problem where I live now but in California, those pretty deer kept eating the vegetables in our garden. Put up a 6’ chain link fence around the garden and they would just jump right over it. They are cute though.
@jaburg Aw. I wasn’t going to give one out for wildlife watching, but that’s sweet enough that one Wife Wildlife Watcher is coming our way - bitty-homeless-love (hopefully that’s an inaccurate order number)
The problem is I don’t know she’s wet the bed until she’s snuggled up to me in my bed. Perhaps this could alert me when she’s on her way, thus cutting down on the number of sheets that I have to wash.
I’d use it as a Sasquatch watcher in my back woods. Why stand at the window and stare when the Swanns unblinking eye can do it for me. Maybe I’ll name the camera Mr. Henderson…
Since I don’t have a driveway, I would use this to detect cave crickets, the evil beasts. If that doesn’t work, I suppose I could use it to alert me if a driveway shows up.
I live in a stone-wrapped cinder block, basically sound proof house in rural Appalachia. In December, on two separate occasions, one of them Christmas Eve, someone drove up on my lawn, took out my mail box, and in one particularly clever move, totaled my Jeep and then bailed without even leaving a note. So, yeah, what would I do with it? Probably something especially unique like set it up on my f’ing driveway to let me know when someone was parking ON my replacement Jeep-- unfortunately purchased at some place other than Meh.
I need this for my backyard. The skunk comes up to the sliding doors to scare my white cat, Sally Ann. I think that if the light went on the skunk just might find another animal to frighten. Sally Ann would certainly be happier. Maybe then she would’nt scratch me as she jumps on me trying to get away from the skunk.
Use it during Halloween to detect trick or treaters so you can give them the optimum scare. No mis-timings here, jumping out from nearby bushes and screaming at a bunch of children at just the right time is certainly worth $15.
-Please use said tactic only during Halloween
-Safety not guaranteed
@melvinelder And also, the constant loud beeping will help you feel better about the prospect of eventually being dead. One Death Checker coming your way - judgmental-smoggy-wine
I would use it to guard my beading table. I have boxes and boxes of beads- thousands of beads. The new kitty has gotten up on that table and knocked boxes of beads over twice now. (no, there’s no way to close that room off) This would hopefully alert me before it rains beads again.
I’d use this to grab my giant squirt gun and scare off armadillos, possums, raccoons, and other assorted wildlife (also the dog next door, who like to poop over here!) out of my yard and driveway. I have a crazy- aggressive cat who seems to think it’s his job to yodel, hiss and growl at anything that comes near my house.
Would really help enforce a game of statues; Every player with own detector. Also fun idea – hide it at work near a file folder that clearly reads “confidential: employee compensation”
It looks like it wouldn’t be to hard to take apart the alarm part of it and hook it up to my Rasberry Pi (mini computer), I might get it and use it to send an alert to my phone via the pi anytime it gets set off at my door. Automated remote doorbell of sorts, I suppose.
I’d use it to alert me when my ninja cats are getting into the cupboard to get food since their already full bowls are not enough for them. Ungrateful.
I would put it by my garbage cans to alert me when someone puts their dog crap in our cans. Of course, they have to walk a little bit up our driveway to do it, so it’s really a subset of driveway-guarding. Also, they stopped after my mother put a sign on the can (for the second time) that smelling their dog crap makes her vomit. But they’ll probably start again.
Do you hate cold toast?
Is cold toast the bane of your existence?
Would your life be complete if only you could have warm toast?
Well cry no more. Now with this Swann motion sensor you will know the moment your toast pops us. Take a nap while your toast cooks. Build a birdhouse. Buy some butter. The moment your toast is nice and toasty Swann will be your wingman… get it… wingman.
Does the banana come with it? If so, I’d use the alarm/banana bundle to lure gorillas to the sensor, then I’d run away when the alarm sounded because I don’t fancy getting savaged by the gorilla I just lured.
In my heavily wooded housing complex with winding pathways I would hide the sensor in a tree and place the chirper in some kind of vessel that warps the sound to make a menacing reply each time it’s triggered. I can record it all with my Nabi Look GoPro knockoff I got on meh!
I would find a sensor that moves when it senses sound, and put it in front of this sensor and pit them in a battle bot fight to the death (or until the batteries die, whichever comes first) .
We have an orange stray cat that comes into our backyard, harasses our indoor cats through the window, and then defends “his” yard from other animals by way of screeching and hissing, further upsetting our cats. I’d use to defend against this orange a*hole that showed up out of nowhere, thinks he runs the place, and causes nothing but trouble.
I need one because there is something lurking in the woods next to me…My son caught a glimpse…About waist high…Was on 4 legs . We don’t know what it is but it was close to consuming our cats…It definitely does not appreciate them
Work locker alarm. Let them know that I know that they’re opening my locker and looking around. I’m ready to create some awkward work situations with one of these alarms!
I’m planning on attaching one squarely in the center of our bed’s headboard, between me and my significant other. So when she decides to slap, punch, or roll over and steal my covers in the middle of the night, she’ll get a rude awakening coming from the speaker I stuffed inside her pillow. Meanwhile, I’ll be wearing earplugs, cause that sh*t happens frequently…
Want so I can take paintball potshots at all the Mediocre.com staffers who stalk and follow me daily and open my mail and listen in on my thoughts. Need a technology equalizer.
Btw, mediocre.com staff: I think crap thoughts just for you to eavesdrop on. No way I’m letting you all listen in on my quality thoughts.
I have a long hallway that leads to my office. Despite that, I sometimes still have to minimize the game I’m playing before I’m interrupted with work. Placing this sensor inconspicuously would buy me precious moments to get my affairs in order.
I just bought a house in a somewhat dodgy neighborhood in Chicago and I’m trying to cobble together some kind of diy security system.
I just bought 2 FOSCAM cameras last time they were offered (one for the front of the house and one for the back). Now I’m wondering if it would be worthwhile to add these motion sensors as well.
I have already had a few things stolen from the back yard (most notably a wheelbarrow)
For people who like rare steaks, I envision mounting this inside the grill. The moment it stops going off, the cow has presumably stopped moving. Ding, steaks are done!
I will place it in front of that damned weeping angel statue that keeps showing upon my garden. I swear it feels like it is following me any time I turn my back.
I’d switch it up and put the beeping end above a ceiling tile (or hollowed out book) and the motion sensor in some random place in the office. Annoy-a-meh 3000
@caffeine_dude I kind of want to hear more about how she rings a bell to go out, but regardless, one Overly-complicated Outside Doggy Alert coming your way - notable-prissy-crawdad
@dave@jbrookebarrow You got it. So we got a rescue dog. Poor thing never barked or really made much noise. She really hated noise in general.
We trained her very easily to do her ‘business’ outside. Problem was she did not know how to ‘ask’ to go out. She would sit by the door until she could not hold it… Poor girl, she knew she failed but did not know this was my fault.
So we read about sleigh bells. https://www.amazon.com/Weaver-Arctic-Sleigh-Bell-Hanger/dp/B005JERT9C/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1484745391&sr=8-4&keywords=sleigh+bells
Problem was she would get her claw caught in between the holes in the bell. I taped the bottom bell and I added a toy extender that worked ok but it took away from the sound. (She was not a fan of the sound anyway because it was right next to her ear) but we made due.
Then I happened on the doggie door bell. https://www.amazon.com/Pebble-Smart-Doggie-Doorbell-Accent/dp/B00BBMEFCK/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1484745707&sr=8-2&keywords=doggie+doorbell
This was the perfect solution. The doorbell chime is wireless so we attached it above the house doorbell.
The button we used the sticky tape that came with it until we found the perfect height. Then we screwed it in.
Training worked the same way. Our pupper is highly treat motivated. We followed the method here. http://www.petexpertise.com/dog-housetraining-bell.html
She learned in a day but like I said she is a good girl that is highly treat motivated.
I have since taught here to bark at the door when someone rings the doorbell.
My plan was to train her to let me know when she wants to come in. She comes by the door, then swoops back out and sits on top of the deck steps (think batman looking over the city). I am not sure she wants to come in or just hang out outside. I am thinking more when it is warmer out. She loves sitting in the sun.
We do a lot of tent camping at our rural “up north” property.
There are a fair number of raccoons in the area so we are careful to secure our food. The coons don’t bother us.
However, there are also bears in the area. They do sometimes worry us. A motion alarm would give us a head start to run from the bear and reach our car. We noticed the gadget is even battery powered - how convenient!
My gf puts leftover food outside under a tree in the front yard for the local foxes. We live across from a golf course so they wander over for a midnight snack. She’s constantly trying to see them and watch them (they’re super cute) but rarely ever gets to see them as they’re rather stealthy and it’s kind of difficult to just sit staring out the window all night. I’d love to put one of these on the tree trunk to alert her that her furry friends are here and chowing down so she could go to the front window and watch them. Her birthday is this coming Monday so this would be a cool surprise.
I’m putting mine out near the chicken coop so I can catch those dirty raccoons!
Try to mauuver their way in to take your chicken bride, I dare you!
My saracha & Dr. Pepper squirt guns are ready!
I would use these in the hallway to the kids room on Christmas Eve so I can put together doll houses, cat treadmills, and bycicles in case the kids wake up in the middle of the night from me swearing or crying when I bang a thumb or think about my credit card statement. The device would alert me to get up and go to the entry to the room and scream saying the kids must not have been good enough that year for santa to bring fully assembled gifts. Santa is so special to my young ones. I haven’t been caught being santa by my little kids in 22 years and I would hate to finally have them find out there is no Santa.
An alternate use would be to buy two. With the first I would place the sensor in one part of the house and the alarm in another. When my cats roam the house they would hear a noise in the other end and quickly go investigate. I would place the second sensor where the first alarm is and the second alarm where the first sensor is. Voila! Less bored house cats à la Swan Security ping pong.
@5665150 I wonder if you had two of them if both alarms would go off. I don’t think they are smart enough to only set off the remote that comes with it.
Pair it with a wee custom box that listens for the particular alert sound. So many uses. Ferris Bueller dummy mode, activate! Boss-is-coming alert that auto shifts your desktop to something productive-seeming (thanks, 90s shareware). Horribly terrifying trap deployment to slowly drive that horrid neighbour insane (they’ll break when they’re used to the scares and it starts up a fresh pot of coffee for them instead). Sleepwalking test counter. Time-out corner abandonment sensor…
But…possibly, just possibly…it could be the true lazyperson’s “toaster’s done” chime sensor. This seems important. Really, ridiculously important.
One of the things I do is working in a self owned garage, and I would use the motion sensor to notify me when sweet old ladies gingerly tip toe in the door to keep them from hearing ^%}*^##^+•¥? when I bust my knuckles on something.
We don’t have a dog - but there still is a mail man who needs to walk up to the house. This would give me enough time to put on a dog costume and chase barking after the mail man. So that is why I want one. - for free
I’d buy a couple to alarm me when #1 my son who sleep walks decides to wake up and exit the front door, #2 when my other son wakes up in the middle of the night grazing the pantry.
Anyone else use them this way?
I have a lovely boss, whom I like and admire and even enjoy hanging out with if we’re just talking politics or culture or whatnot. But she’s convinced that I avoid her during the workday. And she’s quite correct. It’s the deadlines and my not wanting to disappoint her with my slackery ways.
I’d post the sensor at her office door, so that I can know when she’s venturing out. Then I’d prepare myself, and not only be fully engaged in my duties every time she approaches, but actually rise from my chair to greet her and converse importantly with her about bullshit assignments and such.
She’d think I’m far more diligent than I actually am, which I think would be a win-win (we’re all into the 7 Habits around here; that’s the pivotal #4).
One of our cats likes to munch on one of my wife’s favorite houseplants, but we can never catch the culprit in the act. We usually realize one of them’s done it again when we find a pile of cat barf with shredded leaf in it. A detector might just allow us to catch the sneaky bstrd in the act…
This would be pretty sick to have as an alert for when I’m airsofting and someone decides they want to be sneaky. The chime would probably give me away but I’d just put it somewhere close to, but not at, the place I am. Airsofting has made me so jumpy.
They SERIOUSLY need to remarket this for caregivers of folks with dementia. One of the biggest issues is with folks wandering off, often while the caregiver is sleeping. These units could be placed on bedroom doors so that a caregiver would be awoken by the alarm if the person gets up at night so the caregiver could be on alert. I am going to suggest this for a neighbor of mine who often sneaks out like a teenager, then fails to recognize any of the neighbors, or where she actually is, and we literally have to “chase” her back home. Luckily, she tends to take the Golf Cart and not the car, so I could actually see putting one of these suckers on the door AND the golf cart.
@laurelnev OMG, I have to tell you, that is a huge problem. I was one of those caregivers and he kept trying to walk out the front door. That was one of the most miserable times of my life being a caretaker.
There is a very specific bed alarm that hospice installed for me. I couldn’t sleep in my regular bedroom and had to sleep on the couch in the office next door to his room waiting for that alarm to go off.
But this alarm would act as a good backup in case he got into the hallway without setting off the bed alarm.
@cengland0 Nope. Didn’t see that one. It wasn’t loaded because I failed to expand the Comments section beyond the default “first 10”. I saw it on Amazon.com when researching the offering on Morningsave.
I would get one and put it under my bed. My damn cat keeps going under there and making a mess of my stored shoes and leaves his hair all over it. I need that alarm so when he goes it, I’ll wire it to automatically set off my handheld vacuum that I would have set up where he goes in to scare the living he’ll out of him. Also to know about the monsters under the bed .
Cars broken into , i would love to put it on our front gate,and or by my door. two weeks ago they pushed gate open and broke into our cars. I have a 2015 honda civic and they have a device to defuse the alarm to break in. I would l love two of these ! Awesomw idea meh~
High-tech geocache. When standing in the right spot, the sound goes off and the cacher is guided to the final container. Might be a bit risky, just leaving a primed alarm hanging out in the woods, and I don’t know how to power it properly. So maybe not.
@Stefan That would actually be really awesome! You’d probably have to replace the batteries pretty frequently, but that’s an awesome way to add something unique to your cache!
I would use one to catch the rat bastard who’s been stealing my lunch from the office fridge: Pack it into a Chinese take-out carton and finally catch the guy (girl?) in the act! Given the wide reach of this scumbag, I could become an office hero and perhaps rid my reputation of the taint associated with what we’ll just call ‘the copier incident’.
i am going to catch those guys peeeing in the bushes by the street in front of my house then i can reconize a normal pattern i will just go up shoulder to shoulder like we are peeing in a trough at a baseball game. i will yell paly ball! as i shake off the last drops and then zip up and then run away like death is chasing me… that might get them to move a few houses down. ? god damn guys replacing the watermain on my street piss everywhere all the time - like a bunch of toddlers.
I would put it randomly around the house just to mess with my kid. Then every time it went off letting me know where he was I would either sneak up on him to scare the MEH out of him or freak him out by not only having eyes in the back of my head but also all over the house! I might need a couple
It could also be used as a super spy sentry device. Leave the alarm in the opposite direction from the room filled with “ze documents”, place sensor near door of “ze documents” room. Then, go in and take your time stealing “ze documents”, because those dumb guards will trip the sensor and then say “we’d better check it out”. Now’s your chance to escape, super spy!
I’d use it to alert me of the people that keep stealing the sidewalk alarms that I set up to alert me of the people stealing the porch alarms, that are protecting the camera at the entrance from being stolen.
This is perfect for my needs. For so many years I have been looking for the perfect tool to warn my community of impending comet/asteroid strikes. This sensor (pointed in the right direction) is just that tool. Unfortunately I had to have everyone in the community by the limit on these so we can get the minimum of 3953 sensors to cover the celestial views needed to accurately warn us of the comet/asteroid strike. (warning this only allows a .000035492 second warning time)
I’d use it to alert me when those whippersnappers ignore my rants to stay off my lawn. I’d set it up to oversee my Halloween pumpkins and alert me when someone gets too close.
I would reenact the epic X-Files scene from the fifth season episode “The End” wherein the Smoking Man detects Krycek’s search party with hidden motion detectors.
I would sleep in the other room, and set both of these up by the bed… monitors and alarms, to prove to my husband how much he flops through the night. He sleeps through it, therefore thinking I’m crazy, but, unfortunately, there’s no way I can sleep through it. It’s like having earthquakes every night, several times a night! He will all of a sudden start kicking his legs, and it’s like the bottom half of his body is jumping. He’ll do it a few times, pause for a few seconds, where I’m praying it’s over, and then start all over again… Please, Meh, I need help!!!
Definitely needs to go in my den. Silly dogs think they can sneak in and sleep on the couch just because my eyes are closed and snoring MIGHT be coming from my room (I’m not admitting to anything!).
I live in WinterWonderland…it’s no wonder I hate trips to the mailbox. Hate hate hate, hate hate hate, double hate. looooooathe entirely trips to an empty mailbox . Blizzard times especially !!! An alert would be sooooo precious.
I’d repurpose this to trigger when the burglars come and light up my house Home Alone style. That way they’ll think I’m having a large happy gathering, while in reality I’m home alone
I’d put it at the door of the place where I’m doing this in the basement:
(Start at 2 mins, I tried to have it skip to there but no luck sorry) And hook it up with a light because I probably couldn’t hear it over the drill thing.
I’d find out who has been stealing the house I live at’s lawnmower (I won’t say my lawnmower, because I am not replacing it). It disappears at least onceca year. Locked up aand chained down or not. It’s clearly a dedication.
Also, this would be great for when UPS claims they attempted delivery but “nobody was home”. I WAS HOME! YOU NEVER KNOCKED! With this, there’s no way I could miss them.
@Blastitt Do they leave a sticker on your door when that happens? If so, what motive would they have to say you weren’t home and take the time to drive all the way there and leave that sticker?
I’d use it at work to let me know when someone enters our customer waiting area and no employees are in there t take care of them. Boring uea, but efficient.
The Swann Motion sensing alert would be the catalyst for a Rube Goldberg machine to press the meh button. May possibly involving swans, or fear of swans, or Ron Swanson.
Just came up with another idea… I take care of my 2 year old nephew and my 89 year old Grandma during the day… what a pair, I’ll tell ya!!! The two year old likes to sneak into my big mug of Mountain Dew, and he definitely does not need the extra energy… I, on the other hand, need all the caffeine I can get to keep up with him and keep Grandma safe from him!!! This way, if I’ve gotta leave the room, I could leave the detector beside my big ol’ cup, and carry the monitor with me, that way, every time I hear it go off, I can go in there and catch that little booger in the act, also, I love the idea of him trying to figure out how the hell I ALWAYS know!!! lol
I could also leave one besides Grandma’s chair, so I’ll know if she’s gonna sneak up behind me in the kitchen, or, worse, when I leave the room, I’ve caught her sneaking Gavin chocolate (just what he needs) on more than one occasion, and then she sits and complains about how hyper he is… smh!!!
I could use this as a watchdog as our three lazy scaredy cats are worthless. We had a possum come in through doggy door, squeezed through our doggy gait, toured our house (we found its little gifts around) then nested itself in our 4yo sons pajama drawer. Said 4yo found our intruder, luckily didn’t get bit & came got me to take care of it.
I’d use this to watch my bird feeder that I put on my window. I put up a bird feeder because I like to watch squirrels eat. They think they are being subversive, but little do they know, I’m a big fan.
I would use it when I’m working nights and home watching my morning shows. It would warn when the church people were making their rounds so I would know when to turn the volume down
I’m a security guard. I’d take it to work and tie it to the pole right outside the guard shack. No more sneaking up on me while I’m playing Pokemon between patrols!
Rats… I have a blow gun by my kitchen window for shooting the rats that daily terrorize my chickens. My routine includes compulsively walking by the window to see if I can shoot at one- had I one of these motion dongles, I’d set it up under the coop to alert me to the activity of those little bastards (really, they’re squirrel sized and probably have multiple dads). Upon the chime I’d know it was time for havoc! A day of reckoning!!
We live outside the city limits and our cats like to go outside and prowl around the timber. We put a cat door in one of the window screens under the front porch so they can come and go as they wish when the weather is nice.
I’d put the alarm near this window so I knew they were ready to come in when it’s not nice enough to keep the window open for them.
This thing has Halloween projects written all over it. Just hook up the chime output to a relay and line your pathway with them. Those kids would be ducking and dodging mechanized creatures like Indiana Jones with a golden idol.
Early warning system so that I know when my coworker is coming up from behind to do me execution-style with his Nerf gun. I will then fire behind from under my arm using my hammer-action Double Strike blaster. Just like in the movies.
I would use one in my garden to alert me to the neighborhood cats who think my broccoli patch is a litter box. I have a hose I squirt then with, but I know I don’t catch them. everytime or they’d learn they are going to get soaked and stay away.
I actually need two. I would put the sensor from one with the detector from the second set. And vice versa. That way when the alarm goes off, I know it’s because someone is messing with the other alarm.
I would build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me --and I’d build it very inexpensively. I would build a great, great wall, and I would make Meh pay for the motion sensors that go on the wall. Please send them, now!
I want to start a ghost hunting YouTube channel and then eventually a TV show and this would be a great piece of scientific equipment to let me know if things from the other side are amongst us!
This past summer I had a bear break into my screened in porch in search of food. With an alert system the next time this happens I can fix him a meal so he would not have to tear the place apart again to find leftovers.
I hate to be one of those guys coming in and hoping to win something as a freebie, but this is one of those times I’m broke and the item is one I could actually use. I’d set this thing up to keep eyes on one of my cats to make sure the darn furball can get caught when she’s out by the litter box and deciding “Nope, it’s time to crap on the floor instead!”
When she’s being watched, she goes in the box. When she’s not… if that box isn’t pristine, there’s a 50/50 chance she’s going right on the tile.
(And no, I’m not so poor I can’t afford this thing. But I’m broke enough that I can’t spend $15 to track a cat pooping.)
I want one to figure out who that dagnabbit theif who shows up randomly every 2 to 6 months at 2 to 4 in the morning and breaks into the neighborhood cars. He showed up 2 weeks ago… so I’m counting the days…
I am doing a three year meditation retreat in a cabin in the Pisgah National Forest in North Carolina and it will give me some peace of mind with regard to unwanted visitors - human and otherwise.
I think I might mount it on my car, and see if it can really be used to detect driveways as advertised. You can never be too alert about driveways, they come into roads from weird angles without any warning.
That or stick it out by my parking space. Last winter, someone decided to draw a dong on the trunk with mustard. I have SO many questions about that:
Why bother tagging MY trunk? I don’t interact with people on my street at all, and the car is unremarkable.
Why mustard? (But hey, at least it wasn’t anything that damaged paint).
Why was someone running around early in the morning doing that, at all?
With younger children it seems you never get a moment of “couple time” that isn’t interrupted. Up to a point in the activity it’s ok but somehow after that point it all seems to be going well until you hear little Janie pipe up “What are you doing to mommy???”
This kind of situation must be prevented and what better way to do it than a motion sensor that is above small dog level and far enough away to turn a wrestling match into a more child friendly and less emotional trauma causing incident?
I have a 2 year old grandson with autism. He gets into everything. Lately he has decided the perfect place to sit is inside the refrigerator. So I would use it to alarm me for refrigerator being opened, and doors, and restroom.
Few ideas… use it as a tester to see if garage door sensor is aligned when you depress the opener… alert you if kids forget to close the garage door and our furry little friends welcome themselves into our garage for a snack…put in backyard to alert us/scare off pesty kids cutting through our yard… use recreationally to see how high kids could jump or how low they can crawl without getting the buzzer… back up alert near front door in case door bell goes out.
If I were to buy one of these, I would set it up at my off-grid cabin. When the world craps out, I will be prepared to detect zombies, people that want my crappy Meh loot, riots coming to take my worse than shi#$ Meh “2 for Tuesdays” and my socks. They might want my socks to make terrible puppets, ya know. OR, when my off-grid beer delivery arrives
I would use this to spread rumors of ancient spirits by saying that I put it near a tribal Indian monument, when I will actually place it in the chicken coop. That way whenever the chickens enter or leave the coop, the alarm goes off -at dawn and dusk, the times of day that are notorious for spirit activity.
I’d put it on the floor by my bed so when i get up, all bushy-tailed and ready to work, I can be alerted to lie down until that odd sensation goes away.
I’m an apprenticing wizard. I can’t keep my wand too close to my bed due to my propensity for night terrors and spell casting in my sleep. I need this motion detecting device to warn me when dementors are near so I have ample time to get to my wand lock box in order to cast a patronus spell. This has been a huge problem for as long as I can remember.
I would use this set up to warn me when the apocalypse/Armageddon is coming not that I can do anything about it… or even would but a nice heads up is always appreciated.
My apartment building has a garbage chute on every floor, but I’m pretty sure nobody actually uses them (since we generate more recycling and compost than landfill, neither of which have a chute you can use instead of taking them down by hand).
I’d mount one in my floor’s garbage chute, and listen in from my apartment to see if I’m wrong about just how environmentally-conscious and discriminating my neighbors are about their refuse.
I want to mount on on the ceiling above my bed aimed directly at my sleeping body to teach and condition myself to sleep perfectly still all night long regardless how scary a movie I watch the night before.
I’d mount it at the front door so I can tell when packages and such arrive because nobody seems to know how to ring a damn doorbell anymore.
Edit: And I see that one was actually in the description itself. Welp. I’ve been considering doing something like that with something like this for a while now.
I would put it in my mailbox so that I can tell when someone is stealing my mail from my locked mailbox in my apartment complex (recent situation that I reported to USPS and more than likely will not get a response)
I’d put the sensor by the front door, and the receiver in the backyard while BBQing.
That way I know when guests arrive, even if I couldn’t hear the doorbell.
I would use it at work so I can be alerted to when a customer arrives. I’ve suffered hearing loss since I was 6yrs from a couple bouts with tumors on my ear drums. I’ve tried hearing aids but they made EVERYTHING so freakin LOUD I had anxiety attacks so I had to choose. I’m ok in my quiet world but my patrons get frustrated & act like they’re withering away if I’m not right there waiting to pour the latest frufru hoity toity concoction they saw on Facebook. Then they wanna complain cuz the bathroom isn’t cleaned or i gotta run stock the cooler or cut fruit. I’d use it so I could run my bar AND keep it clean & stocked. A little warning would give me enough time to get behind the bar “where I belong” and they’d still have clean toilets, shit paper, & not have to worry bout shoes stickin to the floor after a band night.
My wife would appreciate an early warning if the toilet seat has been left up. A second motion alert would let her know if it was returned to it’s proper position (her definition).
@dave, this product is perfect for my situation! When you’ve got a secret underground submarine docking station like mine, its imperative to maintain a perimeter breach warning system to keep on top of those pesky superheroes. They’re constantly interrupting nefarious schemes. Swann, fortunately, understands the super villain’s plight and their user manual conveniently documents using their product in just such a lair! Kudos to Swann for covering this long neglected market niche! I’ll need at least four “driveway” monitors: one for the secret ocean cave entrance, a second to cover the hidden elevator lobby, the third will watch over the spider web choked spiral stairway carved into the granite cave ceiling, and the fourth unit will watch for infiltrators crawling through the “forgotten” sewer tunnel. Send more if you’d like; they might be handy if say there were any more double secret escape routes or neglected thermal exhaust ports to monitor!
What I currently do with these: Set them up in bank driveups so that the bank knows a car has pulled in.
What I would do with it at home: Set it up by the bottom back door so that when my cat decides it is time to come in I know his 26lb royal enormousness has arrived.
(apparently I posted this in the video thread with the exact same name… oops)
Absolutely hide one near the fridge to alert me to video the sleep eater that swears she doesn’t leave finger marks in the peanut butter, eat 3/4 of a cake that was wrapped and accounted for before I went to bed, an empty container of ice cream in the freezer and worst of all a freaking half eaten pork chop on my computer keyboard… and That’s just the tip of the iceberg!! I can finally prove that “Itwasntme” literally got caught with her hand in the proverbial cookie jar!!
I would install the motion detector just above my television, and utilize the (hopefully loud and annoying) alarm as negative reinforcement for those times that one of my clueless family members (all of whom are old enough to know better) decides to stand right in front of the TV and have a conversation with me when I am trying to enjoy the awesomeness that is Aaron Rodgers.
See, I don’t allow anyone in my house to use more than 2 squares of toilet paper at any one sitting so I"d alarm every other square on the TP roll and know who the paperwaster is
Meh… I’d probably use it to prank my wife. She hates surprises and loud noises. So instead of placing the motion detector somewhere, I’d place the alarm in random locations that she would be (you know, like…the kitchen…or the sewing room…where else should women be…). Then I would leave the motion detector in a drawer and randomly take it out, sounding the alarm, and quickly having her defecate herself.
We have a 2 year old, who sleeps in a toddler bed. He’s an early riser, but stays in his room because we have a toddler gate. A driveway alarm would let us know when he finally figures out how to open it.
It would also let us know when his 5 year old brother next door sneaks out of his bedroom to get some toys. Instead of sleeping like he should.
If I had one I’d put it in the upstairs bathroom so that when I’m downstairs I can know that he FINALLY got out of bed and into the shower. I’m even more lazy than he-who-will-not-arise and walking back upstairs to wake him for the bazilliontyth time when there’s no need is simply depressing. I could have still been secretly sleeping on the couch!
I’ve got a coworker that loves to jump out around corners and scare the bejesus out of anyone he can. It’s a small company so nobody is immune. From me, the IT guy in the cubicle to the CEO in the corner office, we have all lost years off our lives to his antics.
I’ve tried setting up cheap cameras, recruiting nearby coworkers as mine canaries, even hiding an old android tablet to act as a webcam. Nothing works, at least for very long. Sure, I may get a week or two of protection but then the tablet overheats and I lose the connection. Or my canary leaves their office.
This is the perfect solution. Never again will I have to constantly live on-edge that Drew is about to pop out around my cubicle wall and ruin my underwear. Again. I write this in the interest of self-preservation and I hope I’ve convinced you that this is more of a health product in my situation than a convenience. Thank you for reading, @dave.
I would get two and hook one up to a raspberry pi and one of those bird trinkets that drink water out of a cup, and hook up the other to react to that movement and harvest the energy generated by the two in an endless loop. Perpetual motion machine for less than $60. World energy crisis solved, and we can finally get over this global warming nonsense.
I would use this motion sensor in my back yard to I would know when the stray cats come back there so I can let my dog out once the motion sensor goes off. #HereKittyKittyKitty
I could put a motion sensor on the hatch of the portable storage unit in my front yard, where I keep all my Bluetooth speakers and knives. That way no one can sneak up on me when I’m inside sleeping on my hoard.
I would attach it to my bluetooth enabled speaker lights so when I got trick or treaters at halloween I could play creepy sounds automatically to scare the ^%$# out of them and they would drop their candy and run away. I could then go out and take their candy and eat all of the Snickers bars.
I would put it just inside the doorway of my condo unit to remind me of how lonely I am and also to alert my attack Chinchilla of any intruders. I would probably enjoy an intruder though because of my lack of visitors. I would probably order a pizza and ask them to stay for a movie.
I need to set this up to alert me to when Bigfoot is peeking through my window, “snapping his carrot” and moaning like a raped donkey…I really hate that.
@wesswanson Or social cues. I’m bad at both, although social queues is really just a fancy way of describing a line of people, which I could use this to alert me when the line had gone down.
I may have to place this above the ice cream drawer in the freezer to stop my diabetic mother from cheating after hours. But for the alarm I’ll record my voice: “this is your pancreas speaking. Please don’t do this to me.” Is that a feature? It should be.
My mailbox is not visible from my house. I would put the sensor INSIDE my mailbox and the receiver in my home office. Would save me several unnecessary trips to the mailbox every day.
My Mom has alzheimers and lives with me. I would put it in the hall to let me know when she gets up for her middle of the night activities. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this solution before. Thanks
@themillerfamily they had the Foscam’s last week… it’s always priceless to actually SEE them in the act… and then act so innocent when we get back home.
I would put both the sensor and the alarm in the pantry, serving as a noisy confirmation of the weakness that I am already fully aware of within myself.
I’m torn between using it to monitor my car (as there have been a number of car break-ins in the area recently) and using it to prank my best friend by hiding both the detector and the alarm in his house. Why? For the lulz.
My 4 year old likes to play “ninja” and sneak around the house trying to scare his poor dad. He is pretty darn good at it. If you send me a free one I’ll use this to occasionally preempt my son’s ninja tactics with a “don’t you even think about it kiddo.”
I have at least 2 ideas for my potentially free unit.
1.) I have a little terrier with a drinking problem. He doesn’t know when to stop drinking water, so he’ll sip from the water bowl for a solid couple minutes if we don’t stop him. His name is Trout (we named him before being aware of his affinity for water. His generic name at the humane society was initially ‘Scout’) but we sometimes call him Fuller in reference to the Pepsi-loving bed-wetting cousin from Home Alone. You see, almost every night, despite how many times we let him outside to potty during the day, he’ll hop out of bed, sneak into the dining room and pee on one of the legs of the dining room table. It got so bad the fake-wood floor started to bubble-up from all the piss soaking into it. It’s gotten to the point where we have to put a pee-absorbing pad beneath each of the 4 table legs, and had to move all the chairs into another room so he won’t pee on their legs. Pee pads ain’t cheap and we go through a lot! So my plan would be to put the detector in the entrance to the dining room to alert me as to when he decides to sneak in there to piss, so I could go let him outside. This would save my floor and my wallet on pads.
2.) I’m into gardening, and I have a serious mole problem. Even now in the winter I have at least 1 or 2 tearing up my lawn every day. I used traps a few times but after catching 2 or 3 I couldn’t live with the guilt, they’re amazing and elegant creatures and seeing them dangling in the trap just for the sake of my lawn really got to me. Eventually, I learned how to track them and catch them alive. I find a tunnel and step down on a part of it, then I wait for a bit and go check to see if that part has been pushed back up by the mole, then I know the mike is still active in that area. Then, I wait. If you stair at a section of the ground without moving, your eyes will be drawn to any motion. Eventually, you’ll see part of the ground being pushed up. I have a shovel and a bucket, and once I see the mole digging, I quickly scoop up a chunk of earth into the bucket. I’ve caught 8 moles (or 1 mole 8 times) and released them into the woods behind my house. The problem is I have to spend a good chunk of time, standing motionless in my front yard, staring intently at the ground holding a shovel, and I look like a maniac to neighbors and passers by. Perhaps this driveway motion detector isnt sensitive enough, but I reckon’ I could find a way to rig it up to detect when a mole is pushing up the section of tunnel I stepped on. Perhaps putting the unit itself on top of the section would cause enough motion to set it off once the mole pushed it upwards. Might not work but I’m ready to try anything, as the occupants currently ripping up my yard have somehow outsmarted me for the last few weeks like none have before.
Anyway, those are my ideas. I’ll probably buy 1 to use for either 1 of these purposes, but I’d sure appreciate a complimentary unit to use for the other purpose, or even just as an actual driveway alarm, as there has been a number of break-ins in my area lately. A few months ago some teenagers rummaged through my car and several others on the street. Damn kids. Anyway, thanks for your consideration!
This is gonna detect people?? (really HOT people?)
From the specs:
The Outdoor Unit contains a passive infrared (PIR) sensor, which detects the moving heat created by an automobile’s engine (or any other noticeably hot object moving at sufficient speed).
I run a Hungarian goulash take-out from a drive thru in my car port, however my business is constantly disrupted by an infestation of the northeastern SHWom-DRIVEA. The motion sensor would allow me to vanquish them with a bb gun during their nocturnal mating cycles
Attach it to the corner of my house to catch that sneaky little Meh-monster who gets me in trouble with my Wife for silently leaving all those Meh boxes on my front porch.
Since i have a long driveway I could use one to tell me when the mail has arrived, another to tell me if someone has pulled into the driveway, a third to tell me if they made it past the halfway point (turnaround) or if they are just “parking”, and a fourth to tell me if they actually made it to the house. Oh, wait, they only have a 200 ft range and driveway is 1/4 mile long. Hmmm…
Here’s an idea. Sense your children! If you are a heavy sleeper or your master bedroom is far away and you want to hear when the little ones are out of their room (likely coming to you), or even older ones!
Oh crap! It’d be used to help spot & identify the very large animal (suspected coyote) that keeps digging massive holes in the yard in the middle of the night. My two dogs are worthless in this regards… as they snore the night away while literally 20 feet away a predator is attacking the yard! We. Could. Be. Next. ugh. But better than the previous poster worrying about the death squads trump will send door to door!
Mount it on the roof so I know when the black ops helicopters are closing in on me. It might give me enough time to get to the bomb shelter and activate the heat sensing rpg launchers.
I’m a pastor at a small rural church. I think that I would place this facing across the front pews. That way, if anybody ever actually decided to sit up front, it would notify me with a, hopefully discrete, beep so I could come down from the chancel and award them a prize. I haven’t been able to give the Front Row Sitters Award away from when I started pastoring in 1980 through last Sunday in 2017.
I’d use this baby to protect my collection of doll appendages. They come from several of the leftover dolls from that movie Child’s Play. Did you ever see that movie? I remember seeing it in Dublin when I was a young lad. It’s silly now, that doll gave me a good scare back then. Anyway, collectors are forever trying to get their hands on these babies, and I need the motion detector to thwart their efforts.
I would set this up to finally catch whatever has been sneaking into the chickens backyard at night and eating up all of the chicken chow. 'Cause right now, it is taking about $4 worth of food to produce a single egg!
Put the sensor low to the ground in the office hallway. Put the alarm above the ceiling tile. Watch confusion ensue. Hell, put the sensor behind the office fishtank and let the fish make some noise.
I would use it as a car alarm. You could put the sensor under the hood pointing at the ground somewhere low in the engine compartment and put the alarm under the dash or next to the sensor. That would scare off any burglar if it were blaring inside the car or outside.
What would I use the motion alarm for? I’d use it to scare away the raccoons living in the eves of my house. I would put the whole thing (both parts) in the eves and that way when the raccoons crawl by the sensor the sound will hopefully keep them from coming back. A safe and humane way of taking care of some unwelcomed visitors.
I would put this near the outside utility meters. We already know what day they read but not when. Once the alarm goes off I know the dogs can be out for the day and both they and the meter reader are happy!
I really like the creative ideas from fellow mehites but my use would be something pretty simple like to use it as it was designed to be used (where’s the fun in that, right?!) and place it near my backyard gate to alert me when someone comes in the yard. I only have a pack of 4 yappy dachshunds to do that otherwise. Those dachshunds gotta sleep some time!
The deer and bunnies are engorging themselves on my landscaping at my vacation home. If I had this to alert me, I could then launch a drone strike on their ass. From a thousand miles away! Minimal collateral damage to the house, I’m a pretty decent shot. Thank you–from an animal lover.
This is obvious. I would use it to find Bigfoot. Since he is elusive, you would need an alarm to go off when he sneaks by and then you could run outside and catch him in your butterfly net. Boom! Fame & Fortune!
I would buy two of these and some duct tape. Next, I would tape one to my forehead and one to my son’s forehead. Then we would have the staring contest to end all staring contests. Ain’t no lying THIS time, buddy.
I’d use it to keep that damn opposum out of my yard and off of my fence. He loves to tease my pugs. Then there is that damn squirrel. He steals ripe tomatoes from my garden and takes one, yes ONE bite out of each.
Straight to it. Armed with this power, it would turn our family around if my younger brothers knew ahead of time when to switch from their video games to productive work. I can see it now, a foolproof system based out of the bottom of the stairs paired with a practiced escape plan. They would be unstoppable.
I would install the sensor along my driveway, but hide the indoor unit in my wife’s car, so every time she enters the driveway her car beeps at her. And then I can convince her she’s crazy, because why would a car do that?
Definitely use this at work as my desk can be approached from behind me by a lot of people. Bosses included. It would give me time to active the “boss key” on my not-so-work-related apps and web sites.
I work in the IT department for a school. I can use it all over the place in the school at different times for different things.
A detector of motion detecting movement and alerting a staff member to that motion from a distance with an alert could alert us of a problem area where motion is not expected.
Truthfully I’d use it in science classes to inspire science fair projects, in areas that are locked down but may see motion and this would scare off a culprit.
I’d also use it to count my jumping jacks in my office. The ones I’ve resolved only to do if you send me one. Meh.com can promote science and my personal health at the same time.
My future self will be visiting me sometime this month but I don’t know when. I will use this alarm to notify me when he is here. In the future, I do some very bad things so the the reckoning is coming.
I would use it to scare the crap out of the local wildlife. I’d set the alerter out by the dog food bowl, and then sit and watch. When a raccoon comes along (or a possum or a squirrel or even that stupid cat) to steal the food, I’d jump into action in front of the sensor, setting off the alarm, and give the thief the shock of a lifetime.
@dgoodman1754 My mailbox actually has a small yellow notification flag that pops up when it’s been opened. I can see from a pretty good distance that the mail has arrived. Highly recommended if you don’t get to Swann hack it.
I’d go for a backup sensor in the garage. I don’t have one of those fancy cars with a camera. Just a window and a fickle sense of distorted depth perception.
I’d get it for my best friend who tends to fall asleep while deer hunting. Turn it on low, then when the deer walks by, he gets a gentle “wake up” call. Several years ago he slept while we watch about 8 deer walk right past him. He hasn’t been allowed to forget it ever since.
i would use this to monitor my slow motion racing meets. no beep means a good clean competition. i’ve got you now jimmy o’tilly, you fast leaning bamboozler!
I am a woman living in a house with one grown man and two teenage boys. They eat all the snack food - even the small amount I hide for myself in the hopes of actually getting any of it. I will place this by my hidden snack food so I can not only stop them, but also catch them in the act, since they all deny eating my snacks.
What would I use it for? I would use it to catch all the dog-walking, ball-playing, stroller-prowling, sunday-driving non-meh-ers to bring a little more meh in their lives.
I would put this by my front door so I don’t miss that “white knight in shining armor” when he comes knocking on my door. I have narcolepsy and might miss him because I sleep very soundly.
I would use this to monitor our mailbox. Got my husband this nice Bass mailbox for Father’s Day last year and he won’t put it up because he’s afraid someone is going to steal it so I would put it down at the mailbox to make sure it doesn’t get stolen or maybe just so I know when the mailman has come.
I’d install the indoor motion sensor just outside of my son’s door and the outdoor sensor by his window and catch him when he’s trying to sneak out of the house.
We have deer who like to come up and eat all of my wife’s flowers. I’d put it out back so I know when to let my dog out to scare them off. Oh, and the Opossum that keeps visiting and making a mess - who knew they would get into so much stuff…
I would put it on the side of my house where a stupid wood pecker is destroying the outside of my house. When the alarm goes off, me and my trusty BB gun will be waiting
I would use it as a parcel delivery detector. When I know a package is coming I spend way too much time looking out to the street to see if Post Office, UPS or FedEx truck has pulled up yet. Since no one else comes to visit, this detector should let me relax confident that I will know when my packages arrives.
I have a terrible time sticking to my diet. I think putting this at an obnoxiously loud setting (picturing choppers with flood lights and a guy with a bullhorn here) in front of my frig could deter me from cheating or at least wake my husband so he can talk me down!
So how are you ever going to sell any of these if everyone who might buy one is posting what they’ll use it for and then waiting to see if they get one for free?
I would use it to alert me when the neighbors are throwing the trash into the barrels in the driveway so that I can run out and remind them that it is also their job to actually take said barrels out on occasion. Custodial services are not covered by my rent.
I’m a-gonna use one to alert me when the mailman/woman opens my mailbox!
Not the first image on search, but my new favorite thing of all time.
Not a monkey, though; Orangutans are among the Great Apes.
lurching-wailing-monkey
I’d like to set one up in my garden, to alert me to the presence of critters. I hate having my plants chewed off at the ground… Then I can turn a high-power floodlight on and scare them away…
I would use this to notify me when the aliens have set down in their designated landing spot on my property. Usually the aliens that visit have invisible craft, so I can’t see them. Having one of these babies would instantly alert me that a grey or reptilian is visiting and I can whip up a batch of chocolate peanut clusters they like.
I absolutely love your humorous advertising! I laugh pretty much through the whole thing. Great way to get the reader to read every word and I do. Now,
I never know when the CATS come home. They sit outside in the cold, hungry, and I have never known anyone who had a cat that will scratch on the door to come in. Now I don’t want to say they aren’t smart enough to figure out how to scratch on the door because they might read this comment while playing on my tablet after I go somewhere and get even with me for suggesting they are dumb. This thing could save my life now by alerting me of a pending “cat attack” or I could just use it to let them in and hope they forgive me for the “dumb” comment.
It could double to let me know of someone at the door as well since my doorbell doesn’t work.
HEY, MAYBE THE CATS HAVE BEEN RINGING MY DOORBELL ALL THIS TIME THINKING IM THE DUMB ONE!
Have a great day!
I really don’t want one, but this was freaking hilarious to read. Well worth the free merchandise. I’m sure my employer is not happy that I’m now another hour late
I need one to put on my front porch railing to alert me when the birds I just got through feeding poop on the railing so I can go out and clean it for the next batch of birds to poop on. Ad infinitum. No boredom for me.
I have a 16 year old cat that lives on my roof. A big Racoon has been attacking her and eating her food. I’d mount it over her food bowl(higher than she is tall). When he came to eat, it would beep and I could run out and shoot him with my nerf gun. Scare not harm.
I will put one at the bottom of the stairs leading up to my man cave. It will alert me to the presence of any she-woman attempting to make an unauthorized entry.
I’d name my motion sensor “Swann Lennon” (after Sean Lennon, who bullied me in grade school), put it in a sensory deprivation tank for an hour and then laugh at it and say “Who’s pointless now Swann?!”
Or the beach…I could take the sensor to the beach.
I’d use this in conjunction with that mini video camera drone you guys sold a few months back. When the alarm goes off I know to activate my spy drone to gain invaluable intel before approaching a potential threat.
I’d put one in my hallway so when my young children (4 under 8 years old) decide to sneak out of bed at night to watch television or play in the playroom, I could lower the “boom”.
This would be great for when your kids come home from school from a school bus to detect that they are coming up the driveway and you can have the door ready to open with snacks after getting the alert.
So, NO one believes me , that these aliens keep coming to my house. They usually come in a little saucer type space ship and fly right into the driveway like a car. They are very cute and look like little Leprechauns, but with big glass bubbles on their heads. They get out , come up to the front yard and bug the heck out of my dogs that are in the house and drink out of the bird feeder. They pick up flower petals in the summer and hold them like they are reading a book or something. The dogs are uncontrollable and won’t stop barking. I am a senior citizen and don’t move very fast. I am trying to get a good photo of them, but I never have enough notice of when they are here. This alarm would help me so much. My family doesn’t believe me.
I’d probably end up putting it in the hallway outside my condo to tell me when my bitch neighbor is coming to tell me my music is too loud. Would hate to get another useless noise complaint!
Oddly enough, I actually need one for my driveway. I live remotely in a Nat’l Forest in the woods on a lot of acreage. Can’t see most of the driveway. Someone knocks on our door about once every 3 months or so but it usually takes us by surprise. We get surprised, but they also get surprised as we are usually alone and hubby abhors clothing. It’s really more for their safety than ours. We’ve both been caught by UPS & a church missionary sans proper outfitting. Could def use a warning. Dogs are so excited to see someone they just stand there and wag their tails.
This+ a bit of hacking and coding with IFTT, Amazon Prime alarm! Another use would be put an alarm and lights on it so they get a surprise when they enter the monitored area!
I’d mount it on the side of my house aiming towards the side of my neighbors house where he always BBQ’s/Smokes something delicious. I would know when he’s doing this and then I could just show up with a 6-pack of beer and be surprised when offered some of his good eats!!
I would use it on the fence to alert when the neighbors are in their backyard- the only time they’re there is when they are tanning floating on air mattresses in the pool. Yep- creepy neighbor alert.
I’d use at Front door. Work from home and get deliveries every day, but Fedex and UPS often don’t ring bell. This way I’d know when packages arrive, especially important when it’s raining.
I would use this for parts to build my ultimate, solar powered grave marker. Once I’m dead and gone, whenever someone comes to visit my grave, it could play a random recording of my voice: “Hi there, thanks for stopping by! I sure miss daylight…”
We have deer often sneaking into our backyard and eating our yews. Maybe this could harmlessly scare them off before they completely defoliate the bushes.
I would use this as a hidden security measure to protect my fort from my kids in nerf wars. When the war is over, I’d use this for detecting intrusion into my man room of homemade smoked hot sauces, pickles and vintage lego sets.
Critter alert in the attic. Catch the little tree rat squirrel from chewing up the house. Field dress him and make squirrel gravy and post his hide outside for all his little smart butt friends.
I’d use it for revenge against my lazy coworker, I’d hide the buzzer in his cubicle and every time I catch him napping (about every five minutes or so) I would trigger the motion sensor!
I would place it by the cat door. Every time the cat exercised her feline freedom it would serve to piss off the Great Dane who must rely on human intervention to experience the Great Outdoors. I’m curious as to the Pavlovian response that would ensue.
I know it’s meanspirited but I’d install it inside my house just a few feet from the front door. Once the alarm chimes my dog would run and bark at the door (translation: “hey, hey, hey, hey, someone’s here, hey, hey…”). Once she gives up and walks away, she’ll trigger the motion detector and run back to the door. Over and over. All night long. Don’t worry, she’s not some majestic dog like a retriever or Old English. She’s a yappy shitzu.
I would take it apart and de-solder the internals to find a way to make it notify a microcontroller of some sort. That way instead of a alarm I can wire up an air horn that will keep my damn cat off my counter.
My house is almost 90 years old and the doorbell doesn’t work well due to old wiring.
This would be perfect to put on the front porch to act as an entry chime for deliveries and visitors!
I would use one as a up-too-late-kid-detector. We have a loft area overlooking the den/TV room, bedrooms are upstairs. My sneaky little ninja-a$$ kids will get out of bed, tiptoe to the top of the stairs and sit quietly just out of sight at the top of the stairs watching TV waaaayyyy past their bedtime… Gotta watch those sneaky little boogers (and careful with that content )
I would use it for my 4 year old. He keeps getting up in the middle of the night to play on my iPad. (No, I can’t use a passcode bc he will permemntantly disable to iPad…been there). I need to know when he’s awake so I can put his ass back to bed. I’m tired of waking up between 4-5 am for the day, everyday. Fml
i’m wondering if there would be a way to wire the alert box to a shutter release cable for a DSLR. might be a good, cheap way to set up a camera out in the woods for nature photography.
Some midnight creature is using my vegetable garden as their own personal food stand. They attack under the cover of darkness eating the center of the plant thusly destroying any chance of that plant producing a crop. I could use the detector to help put a stop to this carnage and once again enjoy fresh organic vegetable’s.
I would install this motion sensor close to a busy street to monitor cars driving by and install the indoor unit outside of my annoying neighbor’s house who lives next to a 7-eleven store.
You know how park sprinkler systems always go off at the wrong time and spray you?
Me and a friend thought of the perfect evil plan: hook it up to the sprinkler system in a park, to only turn on the sprinklers when people enter the park.
Can I use this to alert me when another household member is sneaking down the hall to turn off the damn Roomba they hate? or…to tell me when the dog is sneaking down the hall towards the bed he isn’t allowed on?
In both cases I currently just yell when I think either is happening.
I’ve noticed 4 inch wide trail in the grass, right outside of my door. I know it’s a snake. I just don’t know what kind of snake. It moves at night and I’d like to find out what it is. This is only part of the trail. This guy travels about 100 ft from one drain to another. Yes, a Swann Security Motion Sensing Driveway Alert system would work PERFECTLY for me.
See photo below!!!
I’m for putting one across the toilet bowl. That way I can get up in the night, leave all the lights off, and get confirmation that my aim is good when the alarm goes off. Brilliant!
OMG this will be perfect for fishing. I can set it up by the stream and be able to sit back and drink my beer while waiting for an alert that there’s movement nearby - hopefully the big catch!
I would use one of these for my mini-me to put under his bed. He dramatically fears what lurks in its dark depths. So every night when there is no alarm all is well. Except the night when the alarm sounds and I realize he was telling the truth and we both lie in our beds, shivering, waiting for it to take us.
These are handy. I put one by a cat door in the garage so I’d know if my indoor/outdoor cat had entered the garage at night, so I could let her back in the house…and if she was already inside then I knew a racoon or something else had slipped in…which only happened once that I know of.
Wow the things I can do with this! I can put it in my boiler room and catch the boogie man my kids assure me “is in there dude”. I can use it to catch whoever is peeing on the toilet seat and leaving it up - a strain on my marriage as I seem to be the prime suspect. I can use it to alert me to when my dog plans to come into my room and puke on my shoes in the middle of the night. I guess shutting the door would fix this but where’s the fun in that? I could keep going but I have reached the point where you will probably stop reading.
I would use this as a cheap and easy doggy door. I have 2 chihuahuas who I am trying to house train and I think this would be the perfect thing to scare the sh** out of them so that they don’t sh** in my new apartment.
I would give the Swann Security Motion Sensing Driveway Alert to my neighbor, whom I have seen on numerous occasions drive into the wrong driveway, either one before or after her house. If she had the receiver in her car it would warn her when she was at her driveway and she would save herself the embarrassment of turning into the wrong one. Will you also be selling breathalyzers anytime soon?
I’m going to put it in my flower bed so I can catch the neighbors cat pooping and tearing up the flowers. A slingshot should defer the sweet kitty afterwards!
I’d put both the sensor AND the alarm unit in a room I want the cats to stay out of. When it detects them, the light and alarm will send my scaredy-cats scampering out of the room.
Here’s another way I would use it. I would put it on my patio gate so I could hear when packages come since the people who deliver all my daily Meh purchases don’t ring the doorbell in my specified 1-2-1 pattern for all deliveries. How am I to know if it is trick-or-treaters or treats for meh-e.
I’m gonna try the mailbox idea (someone had above).
Our damn mail shows up somewhere between 1pm - 8pm.
I hate walking out in the pouring rain in the pitch dark to the end of our driveway… to find it isn’t there yet. shit.
I just hope the transmitter inside my mailbox doesn’t scare the mailman away…
I would set up the detector pointed at one of those sound-activated motion characters you see sitting around grandma’s house at Christmas, and put the alarm right by the character. BAMMM!!! Perpetual energy machine.
@danudar Reading through a bunch of suggestions like these, I sense a similar trend among several mehziens. Perhaps folks spend too much time in this forum?
I’m going to use it to monitor who comes through my front security gate (that no longer locks because of house shifting). My kitchen windows look out over the courtyard and I’m constantly butt naked in the kitchen and tired of strangers coming through the gate and into the courtyard viewing all my junk in the trunk for free!!
I am going to hack the motion sensor to also activate my security camera, because the camera’s motion detection is terrible and this type of sensor will give less false positives. Also to warn me when my dogs learn how to open the garage door and escape.
I work in a Church and with all the different entrances it is hard to be welcoming to the members and guests and secure. A small “alert” just might be the ticket!!
What would I do with this ?!! It’s a no brainer - it’s beeming right across the side of the house my now high school teen daughter would fall from when she tried to sneak out her window or some unlucky suitor into the window Motion that sucka!
I would put this in my roommates doorway, with the alarm somewhere hidden in his room. Therefore every time he comes and goes, a beep will come somewhere in his room, but he would never be able to locate it as it will only beep when he passes the doorway, slowly driving him mad.
MEH, I think you need to get YOUR MONEY back on these. Harbor Freight sells them everyday for $13.99 and if you use their 20% off coupon, that if you are on their mailing list you receive a couple times a week, you can buy it for $11.19. They have also had them on sale for as low as $9.99.
@ghigliotty Great idea! I have had bad armadillo problems and I live in the country and can shoot on my place legally. No staying up all night just put the sensor down where the dang creatures dig, and wait with the shotgun ready by the door. I can go to sleep and not stay up. just wake with the alarm!
A great way to know if the chicks are in danger. There has to be a way to stop the fox from getting the chickens and knowing when she is here is the first step. Unfortunately, being a fox, she’ll figure it out and find a new way into the yard. Maybe one on each driveway, the edges of the barn, the low branches on the trees, heck - maybe even the chickens themselves.
These are great! I bought 2 for $9.99 from harbor freight. They come with different channels for each set so I bought one with different channel than my first, and that receiver is in another room, on another side of the house, so we know which one had movement. Lots of false alarms until you put it in a plastic gallon jug cut out in front to limit the visible field of it to much less. I also cut out the bottom so water would not pool in it. I mounted the jug on our security light pole at chest height and then mounted the sensor in the back, centered on the rectangular cut out. I put the cap back on so the jug eliminated the false alarms and provides weather and sun protection for the sensor. Great driveway annunciators for $9.99!
I would use this for sweet, sweet revenge. No sign we have created has kept people from letting their dogs poop on the side of our house. Imagine my sheer joy at catching them red-handed with this little gem. YES
I would us this gadget to give me a warning late at night, when my neighbor let’s their dog crap all over my lawn and just leave it there.
Then I can catch them!! Lol
I rent out my spare room on Airbnb and keep my bedroom locked if I am not there. I would use this to keep an eye on my door from the inside in case any guest tries to snoop, kill me in my sleep, or have an orgy.
Living near the woods has real meaning for the mice that enter the house when searching for food. I’d use the this thing to notify me when the mice enter through our garage so that I can put out cheese to feed them.
There’s no worse nightmare than coming back from your fast-food job, still wearing your sweaty pirate uniform, and getting caught in the bathroom by the girl you’re fantasizing about. This thing would help anyone avoid the “Reinhold”, a move perfected by Judge Reinhold in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Maybe if you threw in the money shots of Phoebe Cates striding across a misty swimming pool and unsnapping her bikini top, you could sell more of these. Anyway, if just one person (Me?) could be saved from having to yell, “Doesn’t anybody fucking knock anymore?” it would be worth it.
There must always be 10 kinds of cheese in my house at all times.
Friends may take cheese home.
I frequently home smoke cheeses. I think i might just put this in the cheese drawer of the fridge just to freak people out.
I think this would be great for our indoor swimming pool room. It is separate from the house but I worry about kids getting in it and am afraid of what might happen if they don’t know how to swim. ronplant@juno.com
I would put one of these on the gate to my back yard. I have had two experiences when a Jehovah Witness will knock on my door, get no answer, and then go to my back door and try there.
One day I had left the back door unlocked when I was cooking dinner and they CAME IN to my house to leave their pamphlets. I would love to have one of these!!
I would put it on my back porch so I can watch my feral cats that I feed! Also to watch this possum, who I have befriended and named Plucky and formed a mutual bond respect and trust.
My dog is constantly barking at any outside motion outside. I would put the sensor on her and the alarm in my office so I could be alarmed when she was alarmed by the alarm she was alarming.
I would like to get one for free. Actually, it’s for the local library, to be installed in the history room. Although there’s a door to the history room, it cannot be locked due to fire safety (there’s an emergency exit there). Patrons keep going into the room and taking (stealing) stuff. There’s usually only two ladies working in the library so they cannot monitor who goes in and out of the room. This motion sensor will prevent historical things (of our little town, Roxbury, NY) disappearing from the room since the ladies do have impeccable hearing.
@StGermain Yes, it’s sad that people steal historic items from the library’s history room. Dian, the library’s director asked me to do a little research on how to prevent or minimize this problem. I’m thinking this may work. I am currently updating their website (just don’t look at the board of directors and library staff sections of the website…still collecting photos of everyone). But here’s the website: http://roxburylibraryonline.com
@StGermain Wow! Thank you! Is this the Linebaugh Public Library in TN? Dian, our library director wants to thank you and ask how she can do so? I’ve explained to her that I’ve been communicating with you through the forum and I’m not sure if we’re supposed to give out contact info. Let me know how to connect the two of you.
@StGermain The library has received it. They are awaiting installation. The director will probably contact you to thank you once it’s put up. I’ll attach a photo once it’s up. Thanks again for your generous donation.
Well, you guys sure found a way to get a lot of posts in here. Offer something for free… anything, as long as it’s free. Now I just hope I’m not too late to win one. Here’s what I would do with it:
Leave it in the package and put it in the spare bedroom with various LED light strips, Bluetooth speakers, and other random shit I didn’t know I needed. Then I’d find it one day while packing to move and end up just leaving it for the next owner of my house.
I would use the motion detector in the best genius ways possibles! I would attach the motion sensor to myself. That way, it would alarm only when I moved around. That would decrease my fear of alarms in public places. Car alarm in a parking lot when I walk by—no big deal I’m used to it! Bank robbery alarm while I am making a huge deposit of 75 cents cash money! No problem, I probably won’t even flinch! I would be so used to alarms I would have no stress at all! Also, silence would mean I wasn’t walking around. If I was walking around and it was silent, then hey I just got the added benefit of a dead battery detector too!
I would use it in my garden to alert me when animals and people go in the garden without permission! It would really be helpful! Thanks in advance! Terry Harper
I would send this to my son who is just left the nest a couple thousand miles away and had his car robbed outside work. Old classic car. He could use as a car alarm. Save the hassle and hartache of getting ripped off when you are broke and struggling. LIFE
My cats run around the neighborhood all day and come home about dinner time. I must check over and over and over until I finally find them at the door wanting to come in! If they could bark it would be easier, but having an alert would be great. I am 77 years old and had a stroke 5 months ago so you can understand why this would be so very special for me…my total income is $784 a month. If I could have one free I would be eternally grateful!!
Imagine the scene… A kid’s patterned rug with legos, cars, and other random toys scattered upon it. A living memorial to the fun and joy which had been experienced upon it just an hour or two before… Then (bomp-bomp-BOMP!) a cat slinks into the scene. Angry at his recent eviction from the owner’s bed upstairs, he’s pissed, and ready for action. With no humans around to watch, he sneaks onto the rug, kicking a couple of legos aside, and prepares to express his anger via a well placed turd, but his “quiet time” is disrupted by the screech unleashed from a recently acquired Swann motion alert, startling the nasty feline and sending him to the relative safety of his kitty box.
Go Swann motion sensing alarm! Dave save us all from the pissy kitty in our lives!
I need multiple alarms:
A. One alarm to alert me to the arrival of that bodacious pool boy. Someone’s got to go out there and make sure all the leaves are scooped out, no chemicals are forgotten, and that he doesn’t accidentally fall in the pool, nearly drown, and need mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. This device could save a life, dammit!
B. One alarm in the carport to make sure the truck tailgate isn’t stolen again. Them durn thieves make more money off’n tailgates than they used to make off of rustling cattle. I guess it’s a lot more sanitary, though. Durn dainty tailgate-stealin’ thieves.
C. One alarm to keep the kids out of the Christmas present closet. They’re too smart for their own good. I’m going to start hiding some empty wrapped “presents” somewhere else, and throw one in the fireplace every time I catch them snooping in my hiding place.
I would put the sensor outside my bosses office so I knew when to minimize the browser where I’m posting to MEH forums and pretend to work until he’s back in his office. This thing could save my job and in turn keep me from being homeless and broke, keep paying taxes, keep the people at my favorite bar gainfully employed, which would prevent me from some future rampage that could be mistaken for a terrorist act sparking the next world war. In short this could cause world peace.
I got this is the mail yesterday.
Damn. It doesn’t work from inside my mailbox.
I think the signal from the transmitter just won’t go through the metal box (which is maybe 150’ from the house).
So…
I opened up the transmitter, found the antenna circuit, soldered on a 8" wire, closed everything up with the antenna wire coming out of the small drain hole at the bottom.
Then, I opened up the receiver, found the existing antenna wire & placed it so it sticks out of the case on top.
I’m gonna drill a tiny hole in the back of my mailbox, pull the antenna though & hope for the best. I already tried just connecting the whole box to the antenna, but it didn’t work.
PS… I should maybe see if it’s legal to put electronic shit inside a mailbox?
@daveinwarsh It works perfectly! Woo Hoo
The mail delivery person didn’t freak out & probably didn’t even notice it.
I used double-stick tape & stick it on the inside back of the box, towards the top. The antenna wire just hangs outside the back of the box.
my freebie driveway alert device arrived yesterday. thank you, meh!
now i need to locate that pet slug of mine so as to commence slug movement tracking. i’m afraid he got wind of what i was going to do and managed to slowly but surely escape.
Specs
What’s in the Box?
1x Outdoor unit
1x Indoor unit
1x Set of mounting hardware
Pictures
Included
Back
Retail packaging
Internet joke
Price Comparison
$27.02 at Amazon
Find a relevant price comparison? Please share it in a comment in this thread
Warranty
1 Year Swann
Estimated Delivery
Monday, July 13th - Thursday, July 16th
Secure deal tonight - be safe and get a meh deal
What would I need this for? I don’t have a driveway, I live in a dorm! Meh.
@mdszy You tell us. RA alarm perhaps?
you should get the free one, @Moose
@Moose Oh that’s it, I can use it to alert me when my residents walk down the hall! Bwhahah, no hiding from me!
You live in a dorm - you have food in your section of the fridge? You have… certain things in your dresser drawer? You keep a box of stuff under your bed? For that matter, you want to your roommates to know that you would know if they were getting to know someone ON your bed?
I’d use this motion detector to alert me when the death squads Trump sends door to door arrive at my home so I can kill myself before they kill me. I’m old and a drag on society, and my insurance is gone when they repeal and don’t replace. Just a matter of time.
@justbuyit Haha. I love that
@justbuyit no sense in waiting and wasting further resources.
@justbuyit Ha, well, justbuyit you don’t have to justbuyit this time. One free Death Squad Alerter coming your way - handsome-funny-rosemary
@justbuyit Don’t be a putz. No one likes a putz. #JustSayin
@justbuyit You don’t have to worry about the government sending “death squads” because Hillary lost. You’re safe and sound in your home for at least the next four years. LOL
@justbuyit I couldn’t agree with you more!!
@dave Thanks. I was kidding (although there’s always a nugget of truth in humor), but now I’m left to feel that my winning may have in some way confirmed my worst suspicions and this joke will become a self-fulfilling prophesy. I’ll make sure to modify it so it says “Fuck Fuck Fuck” as an alert and will it to @carl669 upon my (what is now most likely) imminent demise.
@justbuyit if you can mod it to say “fuck fuck fuck”, i will wholeheartedly buy the thing off you!
@justbuyit when the Trump death squads come for you, can I have door sensor alarm?
Ding dong bell, pussy’s in the well…never mind
@Stallion QUICK! GRAB IT!!!
I’d attach it to my kitty.
@gertiestn
Please let that be a euphemism!
Please let that be a euphemism!
Please let that be a euphemism!
@yakkoTDI How can you be sure it’s a kitty and not a one eyed snake pretending to be a kitty?
I’d use this motion detector to secure my bath against bath thieves.
@calexander3103 I know! Fuckers are always taking baths, and never give any back. At least unpresidented Hair Gropenfuhrer gives showers to everyone indiscriminately (for everything else, he is the bigliest discriminator. The best! Believe me.)
@calexander3103
That’s very important these days! Thanks Obama.
I work nights. I need when to wake me up one someone comes by so I don’t get fired when I’m caught sleeping at work.
@4771cu5 meh bttn presed sleep now a;lkjfa m
@4771cu5 Hope this notification doesn’t wake you, cause you’ve got one Job Saver coming your way - worthy-authentic-corn
@dave My dream come true.
@4771cu5
If nobody but you works where you are sleeping but you then you can put some contact powder stuff (forget exactly what it is called) on the floor. It makes loud crackling noises when someone walks on it. That should work.
A friend of mine works at the VA hospital. Joint counsel was doing their inspection, with some top VA administration, and they walk into some closet or storage area or something and there was a (supposed to be working) guy sleeping so hard he didn’t even wake up when they were discussing him. Since it is the VA, and this is MS, likely he didn’t get fired but I bet he finds a new sleeping spot.
The so called night security guard working here (not a good neighborhood) spends most of his night sleeping on the couch in the common area. My car is at the far end of the parking lot by the street and I am tired of being harassed by homeless guys - especially at night since the streetlight in the parking lot has been out since before I moved in. Of course I doubt he’d even be able to do anything even if he was awake. He waddles incredibly slowly going anywhere and no one is likely to be scared of him anyway. Likely a nepotism hire. I have taken photos of him sleeping on the couch though just in case I need proof he is not doing his job if something happens to someone while he is supposed to be working.
Medicine cabinet alarm. For snoopy people.
@Collin1000 Get one of those bluetooth cube lock dongles.
http://smartarmortech.com/
@Collin1000 Amy Sedaris recommends “A good trick is to fill your medicine cabinet with marbles. Nothing announces a nosey guest better than an avalanche of marbles hitting a porcelain sink.”
@Alien And when you need to get some medicine out…?
@mike808 I didn’t really read everything, but what happens if you destroy or lose a phone? Wouldn’t you be stuck with a locked item you could no longer open since you couldn’t pair it to the new phone?
@MrMark The key is setup by the app. So you can re-pair and send the key
If I had this, I would use it to alert me when the damn rabbit that keeps pooping in my (fenced in) back yard is back there. There are tons and tons of pellet piles of poop. I’d like to return some pellets to it.
@lichme I have a similar problem with pack rats. No idea how they get into the shed, crawlspace, etc. etc. Problem is that I don’t want to be alerted to their presence I want something much more disturbing and might even go for lethal. 90dB just isn’t loud enough to shift them (they just sit and stare at you when discovered). 120dB ultrasonic and you might have a product (would also work on teenagers…)
@ergomeh, get a cat.
Get a FERAL cat.
@lichme This is a job for Elmer Fudd!
@Alien
@lichme Are you sure it’s rabbits? They generally leave single pellets, not piles. Piles are from deer.
@hitched97 Yes, I have seen the rabbit back there twice, and found the spot where it comes in.
@haydesigner Do you know something I don’t? Meh’s going to have a deal on cats? Just so long as it’s not a two-for Tuesday which might solve the pack rat problem, but would introduce a different infestation. (I actually did get some pee-balls from a friend’s cat litter tray. Mixed with the dirt in one of the holes it seemed to work as a deterrent for a while. )
I need one because I am in the back of the house and I cannot tell if someone comes into my driveway. Sometimes I cannot hear the doorbell either.
If I heard an alarm when a car drove up, I would be warned ahead of time that someone is coming to my door.
@cengland0 this is genius. Great minds think alike.
@cengland0 Must be nice to have friends
Forget the driveway. I would put this in the shower so I know when to turn on the video camera
@Birdheh or turn it off.
@RedOak Too late. Some things you just can’t unsee.
@Birdheh Is this the Golden Shower Alert?
My Usage Idea:
I would install it inside my fridge to alert me when ever I try and sneak food.
Weight loss GUARANTEED!
I don’t have any front windows in the rooms I spend time in so I’d probably put it in the driveway to let me know if someone was visiting.
Or maybe use it as an automatic doorbell. Woah!!! Whole new product idea!!!
@a13z I can just imagine lying in bed at night and this thing goes off and then nobody rings the bell and I’m just wondering what the hell it was and I worry about it for days.
@awk opens door. “Hello? Helloooo?”
Steps outside to take a closer look, “Anybody out there? Well, I guess it was just…”
Door slams shut and @awk’s house is ransacked by gremlins.
Horrible possibility. Horrible.
i’d use this motion detector to alert me when my pet slug moves.
@annwat
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring…
Banana slug
@annwat I think you may accidentally teach your slug to never move out of fear of the alert, but let’s try it out. Science! One Snail Monitor heading your way - instinctive-omnipotent-stream
@dave oh, good point! so i’ll wind up with a spooked slug. super! thanks, meh!
If I were sent one of these I would senselessly dismantle it, but hey — we already knew that, right?
@brhfl as in like a teardown?
@brhfl All right, delivering one to you so you’ll deliver a teardown to us - unflappable-familiar-slug
@dave that easy huh… ummm I’d do so many things to this monitor if I were sent one… like can’t even describe in words but dismantling it would be just the beginning…
@alphapeaches Something like that.
@dave Whoo!
stick it in the chimney and wait for santa
/giphy TWSS
@rux Remember to remove it for, you know, actual fires. But sure, one Holiday Fun Ruiner coming your way - goofy-treasured-coach
@dave meh, thanks
Put it in the freezer so I know when my husband goes for ice cream… oh wait, I’m the husband!
@rmeden
I’d keep one in the closet, to check for monsters. Great for parents of young children!
@patlasch depends on how frequently is has a false positive alarm
@patlasch I like this in principle, but what the hell do you do when it actually goes off? One Terrifying Monster Monitor heading your way - very-selfish-view (that’s an order number, not a personal judgment)
I would put it inside the mailbox so that you can detect when the Mail door is opened and when you’ve got mail.
@daveJay that was going to be mine.
@caffeine_dude ha! Sorry bout that
@daveJay Yes! We almost put this one in the story itself, but figured we’d anger our huge postal carrier community. Thanks for taking that on, one free Mailbox Monitor coming your way - sour-painted-instrument
@daveJay @caffeine_dude ha! I had the same idea!
@daveJay Good Idea you got an upvote.
@dave Hey, thanks!
!!!
My dog is ALWAYS getting food off the counter. I’d put one of these in my kitchen and turn the volume up.
Kind of like that Scared Straight show.
@Omehgawd Get some old fashioned mouse traps. Pad it, so it won’t hurt your dog if it catches him (though it never has with mine) The snapping and sudden movement is enough to scare them away. I don’t even bother to set them any more - just seeing one keeps the paws on the ground.
Set it up so your teenage boys get the alarm as YOU approach their room.
No awkward surprises.
@mamawoot Ooh, right, there’s plenty of teenage stuff you’d rather never know about. One Self-Sanity Keeper heading your way - sturdy-malleable-celery
This thing is going in front of the pantry. We are Day 17 of no eating after 8pm and twice I have raided the demon door. This thing is going right in the door so my wife knows when the munchies is going down at 10 pm.
@show_the_maw or you could just not smoke weed after 8pm.
@show_the_maw
I’m really glad that you’re doing something that should make a very big difference in your health. Another great tip to remember is it’s good to move after having anything to eat. Just try to remember the opposite of that old wives tale of not to go swimming and hour after eating. If you don’t go crazy with your calories you should be dropping weight pretty fast. Exciting and healthy!
This would go in my mailbox to alert me of mail delivery… or behind the toilet, for other deliveries…
I would obviously use this to detect any paranormal activity and the alarm can scare away the ghosts!
I’m going to aim one at my crab apple tree so I can catch the creep who likes to come by right before harvest time and steal all my apples right before picking time.
The only way my puppy (ten months and ninety pounds, but still a puppy) tells us he wants to go out is to go downstairs to the basement. We don’t always realize he’s gone down until he’s come back up. Thankfully, no accidents recently, but I’d definitely use this in the basement hallway to alert me when he’s gone down so I can let him outside.
@PurplePawprints I’m pretty sure an alarm in his ear would cause an accident.
@sammydog01 I didn’t read the description closely and just assumed the alarm would go off in another part of the house and not at the sensor.
Critter scarer in the garden. i’d like to amp the alarm somehow to really scare the crud out of some srawberry stealing bunnies.
@ccws I’m glad I don’t live next to you. At least I assume I don’t.
@sammydog01 Sometimes my wife wishes she didn’t live so close either.
Gotta protect my stash of chocolate.
(I don’t
fullytrust @PlacidPenguin not to touch it.)Someone is stealing my lemons from my tree in the side of my house. I’d love one for free to a catch them and make some lemonade out of them.
@t_marcus73 Need to catch a lemon stealing whore? Is this you?
@stilesja
/giphy wut
@t_marcus73 I have an orange and a tangerine tree in the back yard. The tangerine tree doesn’t produce much fruit and someone keep stealing them. I have a camera system and caught some of the people doing it on camera but they come from a large apartment complex down the street so there really wasn’t much I could do. They are little kids every time.
@stilesja I would much prefer to have that couple turned into lemonade (or annoying-couple-ade).
I don’t have any swans, so I guess I don’t need this.
/giphy swan
That certainly is a beautiful swan, Giphy, good job.
@awk um, is that a flamingo?
@awk I’m sorry. You have to wait for the flamingoo monitor.
These are like $9 at Harbor Freight. Big meh tonight.
I would use this for my chimney next year. I can detect when Santa is coming down the chimney, finally catch that SOB and turn him into the police for stealing my cookies.
Wife alert, for when you need some alone time, you know, with the computer, and, ahem, yourself.
@zxinfinity meet @Felton10
I would use it to monitor my parking lot for risque assignations.
Warn me when my wife pulls in the driveway so she doesn’t surprise me when I am looking at porn on the computer.
What I’d do with this is to break it open and attempt to hack it up to be some kind of remote detonator when the motion is tripped, not sure how but would be a fun project
@tinkleondabeach That’d be pretty easy. If it’s making a noise, there’s electricity going to a speaker.
@tinkleondabeach Congratulations, you’re now on an FBI watch list!
Well, it’d definitely start by using to detect motions of sorts, happening in places of concern.
Put it on my bookshelf and use it as an earthquake detection system.
Joke: I’d put this in a pizza box in the fridge at work and see who is stealing shit
Serious: I’d use it as a garage door movement notifier
@tysontomko I came here to say the fridge thing.
I’d put one in my mailbox to detect when the mailman is being lazy and trying to give me one of those missed delivery slips so he can avoid walking my packages from meh to my front door. The jig is up, mail man!
@Mendanbar omg that happened to me multiple times, so I complained to the post master and my mail lady actually came to my house and confronted me! Watch out now! Lol
@shannenelaine Holy cow, that sounds like the story the people who sold us our house told about their neighbor…
@Mendanbar I can’t count how many times the mailman has done this to me. Just because he is to lazy to climb one flight of stairs and actually deliver my package when I’m home I have to take time off work to pick it up because the post office has such limited hours.
@Mendanbar We’ve had similar experiences with our previous carrier. The local Post Master didn’t give a shit. But the national support line got results.
Luckily our mailbox now has the end-of-route bar code on its door so we sometimes still get screwed but they always show up - we hear their “I finished my route” scanner beep.
Amazing how (ironically) fast their package delivery confirmation system is - we get the “delivered” text as they’re stepping off the porch.
@JonSmith60606 Get a private mail box. Greatest thing I ever did. I’ve had mine for 20 years. Worth the $80 year to have real people receive my packages. The post office sucks.
@shannenelaine @JonSmith60606 @RedOak Any of you live on Vashon Island? LOL, we sound like we could be neighbors! Or maybe terrible postal service is a universal truth.
@Fuzzalini I used to have a private mailbox for my LLC. The cost was more like 3-4 times your $80 and went up every single invoice.
Ironically, changed to a USPS box for about $60/year and as with the private box, got a street mailing address in an upscale zip code… and added zero added cost delivery of FedEx (in addition to USPS & UPS) packages at the PO.
@Mendanbar I think it’s just universal. One time the mail didn’t get delivered because someone was parked on the street somewhat close to our mailbox (like 5 feet). They couldn’t get the mail truck close enough to lean out the window and deposit the mail in the box so they left us a notice saying our delivery was suspended bc the mailbox was blocked. 1. Then how did you put the notice in there? 2. I have no control over the neighbors parking on the street 3. Get your lazy ass out the truck and walk two feet to my mailbox. Seriously?
@Mendanbar My mailman delivered a package from Meh today (Love the cheap pink speakers!). He’ll stop outside my house and honk. If I’m not home or I don’t come out, he’ll put the boxes in my car (which I leave unlocked and he knows it). If my car isn’t in the driveway, he’ll put the packages by my side gate. If they’re too big or he thinks they contain something valuable, he leaves a note and I’ll pick it up at the post office on my way to work. There have been times when he stops with a package on his way home, something that’s come in while he was on his route - I’m on his way home.
I love my post office.
@StGermain That sounds absolutely lovely. I wonder if there’s some way to reward that awesome mail carrier? Maybe send a message to the postmaster?
@Mendanbar We’re a small, rural post office. Everybody know everybody else. In fact, I went into the post office shortly after one of my horses died, and the women behind the desk offered their condolences.
I would protect myself from the zombie apocalypses starting Friday after Ttumpf takes presidential oats. Because we are all domed.
SEND MINE AS FAST AS POSSIBLE
@gma1944 If he takes the oats, we’re all domed! Domed, I tell ya!
This will be great when I have to run my generator because some storm or drunk driver took down the power lines. I can set up the sensor to sense the motion of some loser trying to roll the generator away. Or I might set it up in the laundry room to make sure the washing machine doesn’t dance across the floor.
I would use it to take a video and post it to meh of how annoying the alarm would be.
I have a problem wit the got damn loch ness monster stealing my got damn motion sensors! He always come around wantin got damn tree fiddy, when I already gave him a dollah. What the hell is his problem?!?
for external use only.
I would put it in the back yard so when the deer who live in our woods come up, my wife will know so she can watch them. She loves watching them.
@jaburg Not a problem where I live now but in California, those pretty deer kept eating the vegetables in our garden. Put up a 6’ chain link fence around the garden and they would just jump right over it. They are cute though.
@jaburg Aw. I wasn’t going to give one out for wildlife watching, but that’s sweet enough that one Wife Wildlife Watcher is coming our way - bitty-homeless-love (hopefully that’s an inaccurate order number)
@dave bitty-homeless-love is a good description of a number of our rescued kitties (we have 15).
Thanks!
I want to put it on the door of the Funeral Home, so no BODY gets away
@zmorgan If that’s the case, you would want to switch the PIR sensor with a RIP sensor.
My 2 year old wets the bed.
The problem is I don’t know she’s wet the bed until she’s snuggled up to me in my bed. Perhaps this could alert me when she’s on her way, thus cutting down on the number of sheets that I have to wash.
Put one in the hallway leading to my bedroom at Neverland so no one surprises me and my friends drinking Jesus Juice in bed!
Stick it in the garden to make the squirrels scare themselves to death when they’re trying to plunder my veggies.
Wire the motion detector into a lightsaber nightlight so you can activate it with “the force”.
I’d use it as a Sasquatch watcher in my back woods. Why stand at the window and stare when the Swanns unblinking eye can do it for me. Maybe I’ll name the camera Mr. Henderson…
Since I don’t have a driveway, I would use this to detect cave crickets, the evil beasts. If that doesn’t work, I suppose I could use it to alert me if a driveway shows up.
I might put one in my car as a poor-man’s car alarm. Someone enters my car at night it’ll sound the chime on the remote on my nightstand.
Considering one to put in the basement facing the door that leads to the outside.
Lots of noises come out of the basement. I would be relieved if I knew those noises weren’t because someone was breaking into the house.
There is an ugliest possum that keeps coming on my deck and I want a picture for my screen saver.
@mediocrebot, please put one in my mailbox to alert me to mail carriers and mail thieves.
I’d set it up in March and finally catch that damn leprechaun!
umm, i’d put it somewhere to catch my wife trying to catch me doing what he doesn’t like me to do, details to follow…
I live in a stone-wrapped cinder block, basically sound proof house in rural Appalachia. In December, on two separate occasions, one of them Christmas Eve, someone drove up on my lawn, took out my mail box, and in one particularly clever move, totaled my Jeep and then bailed without even leaving a note. So, yeah, what would I do with it? Probably something especially unique like set it up on my f’ing driveway to let me know when someone was parking ON my replacement Jeep-- unfortunately purchased at some place other than Meh.
@JustKen no offense, but you sound way too smart to be living Appalachia.
@Fuzzalini that’s because you know JACK about Appalachia.
I’d put this on my deck railing by the lake so when the swans go swanning by, I can turn on my Swann video camera.
I think it would make a great coyote alarm.
I need this for my backyard. The skunk comes up to the sliding doors to scare my white cat, Sally Ann. I think that if the light went on the skunk just might find another animal to frighten. Sally Ann would certainly be happier. Maybe then she would’nt scratch me as she jumps on me trying to get away from the skunk.
@novjuli1 He’s just in love, Mon Cherie.
I think I will use it to detect motion - in my driveway- because the dogs barking isn’t enough noise when someone drives in. (sarcasm)
To warn when the revenuers get close to my “patch.”
Put one in the attic as a critter alert.
Use it during Halloween to detect trick or treaters so you can give them the optimum scare. No mis-timings here, jumping out from nearby bushes and screaming at a bunch of children at just the right time is certainly worth $15.
-Please use said tactic only during Halloween
-Safety not guaranteed
I would place it on my headboard as a constant reminder that I’m not dead.
@melvinelder And also, the constant loud beeping will help you feel better about the prospect of eventually being dead. One Death Checker coming your way - judgmental-smoggy-wine
I’d stick the sensor in my mailbox!
Use one to find out when homeless people are sleeping in my gazebo.
@cengland0 I hear you! I hate it when homeless people sleep in my gazebo.
I’d set it up on my front porch to let the mailman know he’s made it to the front porch.
Maybe that way I’ll actually get my mail.
set it to alert when Meh sends me a case or two of those polti capri coffee pods.
I would use it to guard my beading table. I have boxes and boxes of beads- thousands of beads. The new kitty has gotten up on that table and knocked boxes of beads over twice now. (no, there’s no way to close that room off) This would hopefully alert me before it rains beads again.
I’d put the censor on the busy street I live on and hide the receiver in my roommate’s room to annoy him.
I’d use this to grab my giant squirt gun and scare off armadillos, possums, raccoons, and other assorted wildlife (also the dog next door, who like to poop over here!) out of my yard and driveway. I have a crazy- aggressive cat who seems to think it’s his job to yodel, hiss and growl at anything that comes near my house.
Would really help enforce a game of statues; Every player with own detector. Also fun idea – hide it at work near a file folder that clearly reads “confidential: employee compensation”
I would teach mine to impersonate a Leakfrog and then I’d leak.
It looks like it wouldn’t be to hard to take apart the alarm part of it and hook it up to my Rasberry Pi (mini computer), I might get it and use it to send an alert to my phone via the pi anytime it gets set off at my door. Automated remote doorbell of sorts, I suppose.
I’d use it to alert me when my ninja cats are getting into the cupboard to get food since their already full bowls are not enough for them. Ungrateful.
I would put it by my garbage cans to alert me when someone puts their dog crap in our cans. Of course, they have to walk a little bit up our driveway to do it, so it’s really a subset of driveway-guarding. Also, they stopped after my mother put a sign on the can (for the second time) that smelling their dog crap makes her vomit. But they’ll probably start again.
Do you hate cold toast?
Is cold toast the bane of your existence?
Would your life be complete if only you could have warm toast?
Well cry no more. Now with this Swann motion sensor you will know the moment your toast pops us. Take a nap while your toast cooks. Build a birdhouse. Buy some butter. The moment your toast is nice and toasty Swann will be your wingman… get it… wingman.
@johnboy Ok, now you’ve got me wondering why toasters don’t already have this feature. One Hot Toaster Monitor on its way - olden-wormy-skeleton
Put it on the porch, so I can know when meh stuff arrives
I would put one in my garden to scare away the squirrels. I hate when they eat my nuts
Does the banana come with it? If so, I’d use the alarm/banana bundle to lure gorillas to the sensor, then I’d run away when the alarm sounded because I don’t fancy getting savaged by the gorilla I just lured.
No banana, no deal.
In my heavily wooded housing complex with winding pathways I would hide the sensor in a tree and place the chirper in some kind of vessel that warps the sound to make a menacing reply each time it’s triggered. I can record it all with my Nabi Look GoPro knockoff I got on meh!
I have one simular on my back porch to alert me when raccoons are out there so I can blow holes in their filthy ass’s.
I need one of these really bad.
ZOMBIES keep sneaking up on me.
Something needs to warn me.
Help me meh!
I would find a sensor that moves when it senses sound, and put it in front of this sensor and pit them in a battle bot fight to the death (or until the batteries die, whichever comes first) .
I’d use it to keep an eye over my beloved chickens when i can’t.
@djayme7 It’s not a camera. It would be going off constantly with their motion.
We have an orange stray cat that comes into our backyard, harasses our indoor cats through the window, and then defends “his” yard from other animals by way of screeching and hissing, further upsetting our cats. I’d use to defend against this orange a*hole that showed up out of nowhere, thinks he runs the place, and causes nothing but trouble.
I’m thinking a squirtgun would be much more effective, @puttysan…
@puttysa That’s nothing but a precious lamb o’ Jesus.
I live in Oregon. I need one of these to protect my perfectly legal cannabis. A weed thief detector!
I need one because there is something lurking in the woods next to me…My son caught a glimpse…About waist high…Was on 4 legs . We don’t know what it is but it was close to consuming our cats…It definitely does not appreciate them
@superdanfan1 Meh, give this person a camera! They’ve found chupacabra!
Think of the kitties, Meh! Save the kitties!!
Work locker alarm. Let them know that I know that they’re opening my locker and looking around. I’m ready to create some awkward work situations with one of these alarms!
I’m a rebel. I’d use it on my driveway.
The driveway for my Hot Wheels
cars, of course! 
I’m planning on attaching one squarely in the center of our bed’s headboard, between me and my significant other. So when she decides to slap, punch, or roll over and steal my covers in the middle of the night, she’ll get a rude awakening coming from the speaker I stuffed inside her pillow. Meanwhile, I’ll be wearing earplugs, cause that sh*t happens frequently…
Want so I can take paintball potshots at all the Mediocre.com staffers who stalk and follow me daily and open my mail and listen in on my thoughts. Need a technology equalizer.
Btw, mediocre.com staff: I think crap thoughts just for you to eavesdrop on. No way I’m letting you all listen in on my quality thoughts.
I have a long hallway that leads to my office. Despite that, I sometimes still have to minimize the game I’m playing before I’m interrupted with work. Placing this sensor inconspicuously would buy me precious moments to get my affairs in order.
My kid is about to be in a toddler bed and is tall enough to reach the door handle. It will be a no escape alarm for my 2 1\2 year old!
@cscott1268 I had a traffic light alarm clock. Stayed red until the alarm time, then green light came on. If the light is red, stay in bed! Before that we just had to keep the door locked.
https://www.amazon.com/Stoplight-Sleep-Enhancing-Alarm-Sports/dp/B002TKLN46
@katbyter Awesome idea.
@Fuzzalini there are cheaper options. I got mine on woot.
I’d put it in @Kevin’s box of junk.
@Ignorant I’m just going to throw it away. Not even going to donate it!
@Kevin exactly!
No.
I just bought a house in a somewhat dodgy neighborhood in Chicago and I’m trying to cobble together some kind of diy security system.
I just bought 2 FOSCAM cameras last time they were offered (one for the front of the house and one for the back). Now I’m wondering if it would be worthwhile to add these motion sensors as well.
I have already had a few things stolen from the back yard (most notably a wheelbarrow)
@christinerenee, sounds like you are beset by a roving gang of garden gnomes.
For people who like rare steaks, I envision mounting this inside the grill. The moment it stops going off, the cow has presumably stopped moving. Ding, steaks are done!
I will place it in front of that damned weeping angel statue that keeps showing upon my garden. I swear it feels like it is following me any time I turn my back.
@AlecWallace Ha, love it. Those are one of my favorite Dr. Who characters.
I’ll be putting this one in the drawer by her side of the bed…oh yes I will.
I’d switch it up and put the beeping end above a ceiling tile (or hollowed out book) and the motion sensor in some random place in the office. Annoy-a-meh 3000
Put it in my 16 yr old daughters room and if it senses movement go in shooting.
Underside of my recliner pointing towards the feet. It’s one thing to sit in the King’s Throne, but it’s quite another to make yourself comfortable.
Put the sensor in a box. Teach the dog to look in the box when she wants to come inside. she already rings a doggie door bell to go out.
@caffeine_dude Genius!
@caffeine_dude I kind of want to hear more about how she rings a bell to go out, but regardless, one Overly-complicated Outside Doggy Alert coming your way - notable-prissy-crawdad
@dave @jbrookebarrow You got it. So we got a rescue dog. Poor thing never barked or really made much noise. She really hated noise in general.
We trained her very easily to do her ‘business’ outside. Problem was she did not know how to ‘ask’ to go out. She would sit by the door until she could not hold it… Poor girl, she knew she failed but did not know this was my fault.
So we read about sleigh bells. https://www.amazon.com/Weaver-Arctic-Sleigh-Bell-Hanger/dp/B005JERT9C/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1484745391&sr=8-4&keywords=sleigh+bells
Problem was she would get her claw caught in between the holes in the bell. I taped the bottom bell and I added a toy extender that worked ok but it took away from the sound. (She was not a fan of the sound anyway because it was right next to her ear) but we made due.
Then I happened on the doggie door bell.
https://www.amazon.com/Pebble-Smart-Doggie-Doorbell-Accent/dp/B00BBMEFCK/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1484745707&sr=8-2&keywords=doggie+doorbell
This was the perfect solution. The doorbell chime is wireless so we attached it above the house doorbell.
The button we used the sticky tape that came with it until we found the perfect height. Then we screwed it in.
Training worked the same way. Our pupper is highly treat motivated. We followed the method here.
http://www.petexpertise.com/dog-housetraining-bell.html
She learned in a day but like I said she is a good girl that is highly treat motivated.
I have since taught here to bark at the door when someone rings the doorbell.
My plan was to train her to let me know when she wants to come in. She comes by the door, then swoops back out and sits on top of the deck steps (think batman looking over the city). I am not sure she wants to come in or just hang out outside. I am thinking more when it is warmer out. She loves sitting in the sun.
Thank you from me and my pupper!
We do a lot of tent camping at our rural “up north” property.
There are a fair number of raccoons in the area so we are careful to secure our food. The coons don’t bother us.
However, there are also bears in the area. They do sometimes worry us. A motion alarm would give us a head start to run from the bear and reach our car. We noticed the gadget is even battery powered - how convenient!
Do you think a bear would set it off?
Photo illustration: (the momma bear is in that dark shadow)
Our alternative defensive sleeping arrangement: (my son’s climbing skills are superior to mine)
Fishing!! Drop it in the lake in a waterproof clear container and wait for it to tell me where the fish are…moving around;)
@crgerwig, good thing nothing else moves in water.
If I had kids and a liquor cabinet I’d catch those fuckers every time they stole my hard earned booze.
Hook it up to my sprinkler system and surprise the kids who cut across my lawn walking home from school.
My gf puts leftover food outside under a tree in the front yard for the local foxes. We live across from a golf course so they wander over for a midnight snack. She’s constantly trying to see them and watch them (they’re super cute) but rarely ever gets to see them as they’re rather stealthy and it’s kind of difficult to just sit staring out the window all night. I’d love to put one of these on the tree trunk to alert her that her furry friends are here and chowing down so she could go to the front window and watch them. Her birthday is this coming Monday so this would be a cool surprise.
I’m putting mine out near the chicken coop so I can catch those dirty raccoons!
Try to mauuver their way in to take your chicken bride, I dare you!
My saracha & Dr. Pepper squirt guns are ready!
Darn you raccoons & your apposible thumbs!
I would use these in the hallway to the kids room on Christmas Eve so I can put together doll houses, cat treadmills, and bycicles in case the kids wake up in the middle of the night from me swearing or crying when I bang a thumb or think about my credit card statement. The device would alert me to get up and go to the entry to the room and scream saying the kids must not have been good enough that year for santa to bring fully assembled gifts. Santa is so special to my young ones. I haven’t been caught being santa by my little kids in 22 years and I would hate to finally have them find out there is no Santa.
An alternate use would be to buy two. With the first I would place the sensor in one part of the house and the alarm in another. When my cats roam the house they would hear a noise in the other end and quickly go investigate. I would place the second sensor where the first alarm is and the second alarm where the first sensor is. Voila! Less bored house cats à la Swan Security ping pong.
@5665150 TOO FUNNY…both.
@5665150 I wonder if you had two of them if both alarms would go off. I don’t think they are smart enough to only set off the remote that comes with it.
Pair it with a wee custom box that listens for the particular alert sound. So many uses. Ferris Bueller dummy mode, activate! Boss-is-coming alert that auto shifts your desktop to something productive-seeming (thanks, 90s shareware). Horribly terrifying trap deployment to slowly drive that horrid neighbour insane (they’ll break when they’re used to the scares and it starts up a fresh pot of coffee for them instead). Sleepwalking test counter. Time-out corner abandonment sensor…
But…possibly, just possibly…it could be the true lazyperson’s “toaster’s done” chime sensor. This seems important. Really, ridiculously important.
One of the things I do is working in a self owned garage, and I would use the motion sensor to notify me when sweet old ladies gingerly tip toe in the door to keep them from hearing ^%}*^##^+•¥? when I bust my knuckles on something.
Meh, I would use this for its intended purpose.
We don’t have a dog - but there still is a mail man who needs to walk up to the house. This would give me enough time to put on a dog costume and chase barking after the mail man. So that is why I want one. - for free
@datruandi What size dog costume do you need?
I’d buy a couple to alarm me when #1 my son who sleep walks decides to wake up and exit the front door, #2 when my other son wakes up in the middle of the night grazing the pantry.
Anyone else use them this way?
I need this to also take pictures of said lurking animal/cat hater…I wonder can you tape/glue a camera to it?
I have a lovely boss, whom I like and admire and even enjoy hanging out with if we’re just talking politics or culture or whatnot. But she’s convinced that I avoid her during the workday. And she’s quite correct. It’s the deadlines and my not wanting to disappoint her with my slackery ways.
I’d post the sensor at her office door, so that I can know when she’s venturing out. Then I’d prepare myself, and not only be fully engaged in my duties every time she approaches, but actually rise from my chair to greet her and converse importantly with her about bullshit assignments and such.
She’d think I’m far more diligent than I actually am, which I think would be a win-win (we’re all into the 7 Habits around here; that’s the pivotal #4).
One of our cats likes to munch on one of my wife’s favorite houseplants, but we can never catch the culprit in the act. We usually realize one of them’s done it again when we find a pile of cat barf with shredded leaf in it. A detector might just allow us to catch the sneaky bstrd in the act…
I would put it next to the kitty litter box to see when i need to clean out the clumps
This would be pretty sick to have as an alert for when I’m airsofting and someone decides they want to be sneaky. The chime would probably give me away but I’d just put it somewhere close to, but not at, the place I am. Airsofting has made me so jumpy.
Well with it being waterproof I can mount it in the kitty litter pan so I know when the sneaky bugger messes up my zen sand design.
They SERIOUSLY need to remarket this for caregivers of folks with dementia. One of the biggest issues is with folks wandering off, often while the caregiver is sleeping. These units could be placed on bedroom doors so that a caregiver would be awoken by the alarm if the person gets up at night so the caregiver could be on alert. I am going to suggest this for a neighbor of mine who often sneaks out like a teenager, then fails to recognize any of the neighbors, or where she actually is, and we literally have to “chase” her back home. Luckily, she tends to take the Golf Cart and not the car, so I could actually see putting one of these suckers on the door AND the golf cart.
@laurelnev OMG, I have to tell you, that is a huge problem. I was one of those caregivers and he kept trying to walk out the front door. That was one of the most miserable times of my life being a caretaker.
There is a very specific bed alarm that hospice installed for me. I couldn’t sleep in my regular bedroom and had to sleep on the couch in the office next door to his room waiting for that alarm to go off.
But this alarm would act as a good backup in case he got into the hallway without setting off the bed alarm.
@laurelnev This idea works for runaway kids also. There is a window alarm if that is the escape hatch.
Id use this to alert me to when Meh lists something other than a Bluetooth speaker for sale!!
Place it at the doorway to my elderly dimensia-afflicted mother’s room to alert us that she is attempting to wander off.
OK, that was a fib. I read it in someone else’s comments a week or two ago. BUT it IS an imaginative use that could save a family a lot of heartbreak.
ME, well, I am I my seventies. I would install it on my garage to alert my wife and I of "visitors ".
@jeffreywsnyder Or read it two comments ahead of yours?
@cengland0 Nope. Didn’t see that one. It wasn’t loaded because I failed to expand the Comments section beyond the default “first 10”. I saw it on Amazon.com when researching the offering on Morningsave.
To warn me when the damned iguana breaks out of his cage.
I would put it in the attic to let me know when the squirrels are there. Also let me know if my son’s girlfriend is hiding there.
I’d keep this around my neck at the singles bar so I could tell if a lady is making a move on me!
Uh huh. You wear this and there will be no move made.
I would get one and put it under my bed. My damn cat keeps going under there and making a mess of my stored shoes and leaves his hair all over it. I need that alarm so when he goes it, I’ll wire it to automatically set off my handheld vacuum that I would have set up where he goes in to scare the living he’ll out of him. Also to know about the monsters under the bed
.
Cars broken into , i would love to put it on our front gate,and or by my door. two weeks ago they pushed gate open and broke into our cars. I have a 2015 honda civic and they have a device to defuse the alarm to break in. I would l love two of these ! Awesomw idea meh~
I’d set it up down the hallway from the ManCave, natch… need time to alt-tab… ;o)
I would install it to alert me that something larger than our dogs has entered the screened enclosure around our swimming pool.
High-tech geocache. When standing in the right spot, the sound goes off and the cacher is guided to the final container. Might be a bit risky, just leaving a primed alarm hanging out in the woods, and I don’t know how to power it properly. So maybe not.
@Stefan That would actually be really awesome! You’d probably have to replace the batteries pretty frequently, but that’s an awesome way to add something unique to your cache!
@Stefan You beat me to that idea! That’s the first thing I thought about!
I could catch the UPS guy that manages to leave our packages at the back door even when all the gates leading to it are closed. It’s magic!
@dugi_f confirmation that Santa has a summer job to fund his winter activities
I wonder if it was a panther or a bear…Or maybe both…Son said he saw 2 sets of eyes…But he does wear glasses…hmm
I would use one to catch the rat bastard who’s been stealing my lunch from the office fridge: Pack it into a Chinese take-out carton and finally catch the guy (girl?) in the act! Given the wide reach of this scumbag, I could become an office hero and perhaps rid my reputation of the taint associated with what we’ll just call ‘the copier incident’.
@Jasongb Was your taint reproduced by the copier in said incident?
@Jasongb Use these bags next time:
i am going to catch those guys peeeing in the bushes by the street in front of my house then i can reconize a normal pattern i will just go up shoulder to shoulder like we are peeing in a trough at a baseball game. i will yell paly ball! as i shake off the last drops and then zip up and then run away like death is chasing me… that might get them to move a few houses down. ? god damn guys replacing the watermain on my street piss everywhere all the time - like a bunch of toddlers.
I would put it randomly around the house just to mess with my kid. Then every time it went off letting me know where he was I would either sneak up on him to scare the MEH out of him or freak him out by not only having eyes in the back of my head but also all over the house! I might need a couple
It could also be used as a super spy sentry device. Leave the alarm in the opposite direction from the room filled with “ze documents”, place sensor near door of “ze documents” room. Then, go in and take your time stealing “ze documents”, because those dumb guards will trip the sensor and then say “we’d better check it out”. Now’s your chance to escape, super spy!
I’d use it to alert me of the people that keep stealing the sidewalk alarms that I set up to alert me of the people stealing the porch alarms, that are protecting the camera at the entrance from being stolen.
Velcro the transmitter to the apt mailbox door so I know when the postman is delivering the mail.
You know what…screw it…I feed those cats every day…The least they can do is get in some cardio
This is perfect for my needs. For so many years I have been looking for the perfect tool to warn my community of impending comet/asteroid strikes. This sensor (pointed in the right direction) is just that tool. Unfortunately I had to have everyone in the community by the limit on these so we can get the minimum of 3953 sensors to cover the celestial views needed to accurately warn us of the comet/asteroid strike. (warning this only allows a .000035492 second warning time)
I would use one on my bedroom door to keep myself from sleep walking to the bar and sleep running up a $450 bar tab.
This is a great solution for people who walk in their sleep. The audible alarm can wake them up before they trip over something.
I would post it at the entrance to my office. My coworkers would think twice about coming to bother me with that.
I’d use it to alert me when those whippersnappers ignore my rants to stay off my lawn. I’d set it up to oversee my Halloween pumpkins and alert me when someone gets too close.
Under our shed, to alert when possums and raccoons have moved in. So that our dogs don’t pick a fight they can’t win.
What would i do with this?
I would reenact the epic X-Files scene from the fifth season episode “The End” wherein the Smoking Man detects Krycek’s search party with hidden motion detectors.
I would most definitely give this to my neighbor whose 14 year old daughter sneaks out more than they already know.
@Piopete Be sure to take it back when she turns 18.
@Piopete but why does she sneak out?
@alphapeaches because her parents are lame
@Piopete … and you know this … how?
@afullbeard No, its because he has better weed than her parents.
@afullbeard Sounds like me 8 years ago…
I would sleep in the other room, and set both of these up by the bed… monitors and alarms, to prove to my husband how much he flops through the night. He sleeps through it, therefore thinking I’m crazy, but, unfortunately, there’s no way I can sleep through it. It’s like having earthquakes every night, several times a night! He will all of a sudden start kicking his legs, and it’s like the bottom half of his body is jumping. He’ll do it a few times, pause for a few seconds, where I’m praying it’s over, and then start all over again…
Please, Meh, I need help!!!
Definitely needs to go in my den. Silly dogs think they can sneak in and sleep on the couch just because my eyes are closed and snoring MIGHT be coming from my room (I’m not admitting to anything!).
I live in WinterWonderland…it’s no wonder I hate trips to the mailbox. Hate hate hate, hate hate hate, double hate. looooooathe entirely trips to an empty mailbox . Blizzard times especially !!! An alert would be sooooo precious.
I’d repurpose this to trigger when the burglars come and light up my house Home Alone style. That way they’ll think I’m having a large happy gathering, while in reality I’m home alone
I’d put it at the door of the place where I’m doing this in the basement:
(Start at 2 mins, I tried to have it skip to there but no luck sorry) And hook it up with a light because I probably couldn’t hear it over the drill thing.
I’d find out who has been stealing the house I live at’s lawnmower (I won’t say my lawnmower, because I am not replacing it). It disappears at least onceca year. Locked up aand chained down or not. It’s clearly a dedication.
Also, this would be great for when UPS claims they attempted delivery but “nobody was home”. I WAS HOME! YOU NEVER KNOCKED! With this, there’s no way I could miss them.
@Blastitt Do they leave a sticker on your door when that happens? If so, what motive would they have to say you weren’t home and take the time to drive all the way there and leave that sticker?
I would use it in my closet so I can know when my roommates “borrow” my clothes.
I’d use it at work to let me know when someone enters our customer waiting area and no employees are in there t take care of them. Boring uea, but efficient.
The Swann Motion sensing alert would be the catalyst for a Rube Goldberg machine to press the meh button. May possibly involving swans, or fear of swans, or Ron Swanson.
Just came up with another idea… I take care of my 2 year old nephew and my 89 year old Grandma during the day… what a pair, I’ll tell ya!!! The two year old likes to sneak into my big mug of Mountain Dew, and he definitely does not need the extra energy… I, on the other hand, need all the caffeine I can get to keep up with him and keep Grandma safe from him!!! This way, if I’ve gotta leave the room, I could leave the detector beside my big ol’ cup, and carry the monitor with me, that way, every time I hear it go off, I can go in there and catch that little booger in the act, also, I love the idea of him trying to figure out how the hell I ALWAYS know!!! lol
I could also leave one besides Grandma’s chair, so I’ll know if she’s gonna sneak up behind me in the kitchen, or, worse, when I leave the room, I’ve caught her sneaking Gavin chocolate (just what he needs) on more than one occasion, and then she sits and complains about how hyper he is… smh!!!
Aim it at the windchimes so I can hear them inside.
Need one as a failsafe near the raptor cage. Clever girl…
I’d put one in front of my cereal bowl to keep that damn rabbit from stealing my Trix
I could use this as a watchdog as our three lazy scaredy cats are worthless. We had a possum come in through doggy door, squeezed through our doggy gait, toured our house (we found its little gifts around) then nested itself in our 4yo sons pajama drawer. Said 4yo found our intruder, luckily didn’t get bit & came got me to take care of it.
I would use it to alert me when Jehovas witnesses are at the door so I can open my garage and go for a bike ride.
@sindicato13 , you know those guys ride bikes too. They could catch up and already have something in common with you.
I’d put it above my bed to wake me during sex.
I’d use this to watch my bird feeder that I put on my window. I put up a bird feeder because I like to watch squirrels eat. They think they are being subversive, but little do they know, I’m a big fan.
I’d put one under my desk to scare the crap out of my cat when he goes under it to chew on my cables.
Mwahahaha.
I would use it when I’m working nights and home watching my morning shows. It would warn when the church people were making their rounds so I would know when to turn the volume down
I’m a security guard. I’d take it to work and tie it to the pole right outside the guard shack. No more sneaking up on me while I’m playing Pokemon between patrols!
Rats… I have a blow gun by my kitchen window for shooting the rats that daily terrorize my chickens. My routine includes compulsively walking by the window to see if I can shoot at one- had I one of these motion dongles, I’d set it up under the coop to alert me to the activity of those little bastards (really, they’re squirrel sized and probably have multiple dads). Upon the chime I’d know it was time for havoc! A day of reckoning!!
We live outside the city limits and our cats like to go outside and prowl around the timber. We put a cat door in one of the window screens under the front porch so they can come and go as they wish when the weather is nice.
I’d put the alarm near this window so I knew they were ready to come in when it’s not nice enough to keep the window open for them.
I would use this to alert me when the squirrel that chewed the ignition wires on my car in half–comes back for seconds.
This thing has Halloween projects written all over it. Just hook up the chime output to a relay and line your pathway with them. Those kids would be ducking and dodging mechanized creatures like Indiana Jones with a golden idol.
I would wire it into my sprinkler system (obviously a plan for the spring) to keep animals from shitting on my front lawn
I would use this thing to keep track of my sleep walking.
Early warning system so that I know when my coworker is coming up from behind to do me execution-style with his Nerf gun. I will then fire behind from under my arm using my hammer-action Double Strike blaster. Just like in the movies.
I would use one in my garden to alert me to the neighborhood cats who think my broccoli patch is a litter box. I have a hose I squirt then with, but I know I don’t catch them. everytime or they’d learn they are going to get soaked and stay away.
I actually need two. I would put the sensor from one with the detector from the second set. And vice versa. That way when the alarm goes off, I know it’s because someone is messing with the other alarm.
As previously mentioned, under $10 bucks easily found.
Good profit margin today.
I would mount the chime inside my dog house so when an intruder triggers it, it would piss my dog off so he can do his job right.
I’d put it in my back yard to alert me to possible coyotes so I know to keep my little dogs inside.
I would build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me --and I’d build it very inexpensively. I would build a great, great wall, and I would make Meh pay for the motion sensors that go on the wall. Please send them, now!
I want to start a ghost hunting YouTube channel and then eventually a TV show and this would be a great piece of scientific equipment to let me know if things from the other side are amongst us!
I’d use it to monitor the crack heads in my back alley.
@captainkegs
Please don’t let that be a euphemism!
Please don’t let that be a euphemism!
Please don’t let that be a euphemism!
I would put one near my deer stand so I could nap and it would wake me if something came by.
I’d install it outside of my fire station to alert us of when the chief is pulling up and we need to end nap time.
This past summer I had a bear break into my screened in porch in search of food. With an alert system the next time this happens I can fix him a meal so he would not have to tear the place apart again to find leftovers.
I’d set it up to startle my daughter when she sneaks into things.
I’d probably use it to catch the ninjas UPS hires. I never hear them come to drop off a package.
Put one near the back basement door to let me know when the dog needs to go out. I can never hear him upstairs.
Put one near my son’s computer game when he is not supposed to be on it.
Put one on the toddler’s dresser so we know when she gets up there again. Or maybe on top of the refrigerator. Or the neighbor’s roof. True story.
Put one by grandma’s door because she wanders at night and sets fire to things in the kitchen.
Put one near the thermostat so I can catch my husband turning up the heat to roast us all to death.
Put one by Mama’s chocolate stash. 'nuf said.
@katbyter
I hate to be one of those guys coming in and hoping to win something as a freebie, but this is one of those times I’m broke and the item is one I could actually use. I’d set this thing up to keep eyes on one of my cats to make sure the darn furball can get caught when she’s out by the litter box and deciding “Nope, it’s time to crap on the floor instead!”
When she’s being watched, she goes in the box. When she’s not… if that box isn’t pristine, there’s a 50/50 chance she’s going right on the tile.
(And no, I’m not so poor I can’t afford this thing. But I’m broke enough that I can’t spend $15 to track a cat pooping.)
I want one to figure out who that dagnabbit theif who shows up randomly every 2 to 6 months at 2 to 4 in the morning and breaks into the neighborhood cars. He showed up 2 weeks ago… so I’m counting the days…
I am doing a three year meditation retreat in a cabin in the Pisgah National Forest in North Carolina and it will give me some peace of mind with regard to unwanted visitors - human and otherwise.
I’d put it near the chicken coop door to know when the black bear comes around to dine on our tasty egg layers.
Stop send me the comments
I think I might mount it on my car, and see if it can really be used to detect driveways as advertised. You can never be too alert about driveways, they come into roads from weird angles without any warning.
That or stick it out by my parking space. Last winter, someone decided to draw a dong on the trunk with mustard. I have SO many questions about that:
Any parent with boys should get this.
The boy can clean up and the parent won’t have to see a boy churning his butter.
@gustador Or your daughter rubbing one out.
With younger children it seems you never get a moment of “couple time” that isn’t interrupted. Up to a point in the activity it’s ok but somehow after that point it all seems to be going well until you hear little Janie pipe up “What are you doing to mommy???”
This kind of situation must be prevented and what better way to do it than a motion sensor that is above small dog level and far enough away to turn a wrestling match into a more child friendly and less emotional trauma causing incident?
@tightwad Honesty is best. Just tell them that mommy is making jewelry.
I would secure my gate so I know when my dogs are trying to get out. As well as the front door so I can catch any teenagers trying to sneak out
I’d put it on my roof and hope it would give me sufficient warning to thwart the aliens’ attempt to recapture me.
Otherwise, use as a driveway alert so I can get to the front door in a timely fashion.
I’d put one down at our dock to warn us when someone ties up there. It’s usually a kayaker wanting to use our facilities.
I’ll have time to get out the shotgun to encourage 'em to move along.
Hook it up to eBay and use it for “time-out”. Every time my kid moves from the spot early, I auction off a toy.
IoT is a beautiful thing.
Well we have a pesky dragon ( he’s kind of a d***), so we would put it up to alert the local knights of his d*** actions.
I live in the country. I need to know when a stray cow mozys up our driveway.
I have a 2 year old grandson with autism. He gets into everything. Lately he has decided the perfect place to sit is inside the refrigerator. So I would use it to alarm me for refrigerator being opened, and doors, and restroom.
Few ideas… use it as a tester to see if garage door sensor is aligned when you depress the opener… alert you if kids forget to close the garage door and our furry little friends welcome themselves into our garage for a snack…put in backyard to alert us/scare off pesty kids cutting through our yard… use recreationally to see how high kids could jump or how low they can crawl without getting the buzzer… back up alert near front door in case door bell goes out.
If I were to buy one of these, I would set it up at my off-grid cabin. When the world craps out, I will be prepared to detect zombies, people that want my crappy Meh loot, riots coming to take my worse than shi#$ Meh “2 for Tuesdays” and my socks. They might want my socks to make terrible puppets, ya know. OR, when my off-grid beer delivery arrives
I would put this in my indoor “garden” room to know if visitors are prying where they shouldn’t.
I would use this to spread rumors of ancient spirits by saying that I put it near a tribal Indian monument, when I will actually place it in the chicken coop. That way whenever the chickens enter or leave the coop, the alarm goes off -at dawn and dusk, the times of day that are notorious for spirit activity.
I would use this to catch my dog sneaking into the bathroom and kitchen where he’s not supposed to be going!
I’d put it on the floor by my bed so when i get up, all bushy-tailed and ready to work, I can be alerted to lie down until that odd sensation goes away.
I would hook it up to my sprinklers to keep people from having their dogs crap in my yard.
@spacezorro or, go over to their place, ask to use the bathroom, drop a deuce in the sink, and leave.
@mike808 I just usually put a little bacon grease on the crap and the problem self corrects.
Need one for my yard
I will not miss the mothership…
if she ever returns
I’m an apprenticing wizard. I can’t keep my wand too close to my bed due to my propensity for night terrors and spell casting in my sleep. I need this motion detecting device to warn me when dementors are near so I have ample time to get to my wand lock box in order to cast a patronus spell. This has been a huge problem for as long as I can remember.
I would use this set up to warn me when the apocalypse/Armageddon is coming not that I can do anything about it… or even would but a nice heads up is always appreciated.
My apartment building has a garbage chute on every floor, but I’m pretty sure nobody actually uses them (since we generate more recycling and compost than landfill, neither of which have a chute you can use instead of taking them down by hand).
I’d mount one in my floor’s garbage chute, and listen in from my apartment to see if I’m wrong about just how environmentally-conscious and discriminating my neighbors are about their refuse.
I would utilize this to irritate my wife, setting it up in random places all over the house.
I want to mount on on the ceiling above my bed aimed directly at my sleeping body to teach and condition myself to sleep perfectly still all night long regardless how scary a movie I watch the night before.
I can use it to alert me when my parents come home while im in my room having a party, or with my girl…
I’d mount it at the front door so I can tell when packages and such arrive because nobody seems to know how to ring a damn doorbell anymore.
Edit: And I see that one was actually in the description itself. Welp. I’ve been considering doing something like that with something like this for a while now.
I would put it in my mailbox so that I can tell when someone is stealing my mail from my locked mailbox in my apartment complex (recent situation that I reported to USPS and more than likely will not get a response)
id use it to monitor my weiner 24 7 to alert me if theres a hot chick nearby
I’d put the sensor by the front door, and the receiver in the backyard while BBQing.
That way I know when guests arrive, even if I couldn’t hear the doorbell.
I would use it at work so I can be alerted to when a customer arrives. I’ve suffered hearing loss since I was 6yrs from a couple bouts with tumors on my ear drums. I’ve tried hearing aids but they made EVERYTHING so freakin LOUD I had anxiety attacks so I had to choose. I’m ok in my quiet world but my patrons get frustrated & act like they’re withering away if I’m not right there waiting to pour the latest frufru hoity toity concoction they saw on Facebook. Then they wanna complain cuz the bathroom isn’t cleaned or i gotta run stock the cooler or cut fruit. I’d use it so I could run my bar AND keep it clean & stocked. A little warning would give me enough time to get behind the bar “where I belong” and they’d still have clean toilets, shit paper, & not have to worry bout shoes stickin to the floor after a band night.
My wife would appreciate an early warning if the toilet seat has been left up. A second motion alert would let her know if it was returned to it’s proper position (her definition).
Bath
@dave, this product is perfect for my situation! When you’ve got a secret underground submarine docking station like mine, its imperative to maintain a perimeter breach warning system to keep on top of those pesky superheroes. They’re constantly interrupting nefarious schemes. Swann, fortunately, understands the super villain’s plight and their user manual conveniently documents using their product in just such a lair! Kudos to Swann for covering this long neglected market niche! I’ll need at least four “driveway” monitors: one for the secret ocean cave entrance, a second to cover the hidden elevator lobby, the third will watch over the spider web choked spiral stairway carved into the granite cave ceiling, and the fourth unit will watch for infiltrators crawling through the “forgotten” sewer tunnel. Send more if you’d like; they might be handy if say there were any more double secret escape routes or neglected thermal exhaust ports to monitor!
What I currently do with these: Set them up in bank driveups so that the bank knows a car has pulled in.
What I would do with it at home: Set it up by the bottom back door so that when my cat decides it is time to come in I know his 26lb royal enormousness has arrived.
(apparently I posted this in the video thread with the exact same name… oops)
Absolutely hide one near the fridge to alert me to video the sleep eater that swears she doesn’t leave finger marks in the peanut butter, eat 3/4 of a cake that was wrapped and accounted for before I went to bed, an empty container of ice cream in the freezer and worst of all a freaking half eaten pork chop on my computer keyboard… and That’s just the tip of the iceberg!! I can finally prove that “Itwasntme” literally got caught with her hand in the proverbial cookie jar!!
Can I use it to alert me when meh actually has something worth buying? A fuku bag or some of those awesome speaker docks perhaps?
I’d use it to alarm me when the kid sneaks out of her room. Lol
Or maybe where I keep the hidden chocolate. Them brats are always eating my goodies.
I would install the motion detector just above my television, and utilize the (hopefully loud and annoying) alarm as negative reinforcement for those times that one of my clueless family members (all of whom are old enough to know better) decides to stand right in front of the TV and have a conversation with me when I am trying to enjoy the awesomeness that is Aaron Rodgers.
See, I don’t allow anyone in my house to use more than 2 squares of toilet paper at any one sitting so I"d alarm every other square on the TP roll and know who the paperwaster is
Sleep at work? Me? Never!
But with a motion detector… I can always know when someone is sneaking up behind me! Cheers to a full day’s rest!
I’d use it to detect my dogs farts.
Put it on my daughters window, so when it alarms I can catch the bastard sneaking in.
Put in garden to know when to go out and shoot the varmits
I think a couple of these would work great in the attic to alert me to the presence of that pesky racoon!
Meh… I’d probably use it to prank my wife. She hates surprises and loud noises. So instead of placing the motion detector somewhere, I’d place the alarm in random locations that she would be (you know, like…the kitchen…or the sewing room…where else should women be…). Then I would leave the motion detector in a drawer and randomly take it out, sounding the alarm, and quickly having her defecate herself.
We have a 2 year old, who sleeps in a toddler bed. He’s an early riser, but stays in his room because we have a toddler gate. A driveway alarm would let us know when he finally figures out how to open it.
It would also let us know when his 5 year old brother next door sneaks out of his bedroom to get some toys. Instead of sleeping like he should.
If I had one I’d put it in the upstairs bathroom so that when I’m downstairs I can know that he FINALLY got out of bed and into the shower. I’m even more lazy than he-who-will-not-arise and walking back upstairs to wake him for the bazilliontyth time when there’s no need is simply depressing. I could have still been secretly sleeping on the couch!
I’ve got a coworker that loves to jump out around corners and scare the bejesus out of anyone he can. It’s a small company so nobody is immune. From me, the IT guy in the cubicle to the CEO in the corner office, we have all lost years off our lives to his antics.
I’ve tried setting up cheap cameras, recruiting nearby coworkers as mine canaries, even hiding an old android tablet to act as a webcam. Nothing works, at least for very long. Sure, I may get a week or two of protection but then the tablet overheats and I lose the connection. Or my canary leaves their office.
This is the perfect solution. Never again will I have to constantly live on-edge that Drew is about to pop out around my cubicle wall and ruin my underwear. Again. I write this in the interest of self-preservation and I hope I’ve convinced you that this is more of a health product in my situation than a convenience. Thank you for reading, @dave.
I would put this in my fridge to go off everytime I open the door. This would keep me from snacking.
I would most likely put it in the basement stairwell and then find ways to convince my kid there’s something in our basement.
I’d put it between the bed and the wall so I could monitor the headboard hits per hour.
I would get two and hook one up to a raspberry pi and one of those bird trinkets that drink water out of a cup, and hook up the other to react to that movement and harvest the energy generated by the two in an endless loop. Perpetual motion machine for less than $60. World energy crisis solved, and we can finally get over this global warming nonsense.
Living in one of the highest crime rate cites, Baltimore, MD, I would protect my back door from someone trying to use a crowbar, again, to gain entry.
Who am I kidding I work in a research lab and would set this up as a prank in the hallway, or lab space.
I would use this motion sensor in my back yard to I would know when the stray cats come back there so I can let my dog out once the motion sensor goes off. #HereKittyKittyKitty
I could put a motion sensor on the hatch of the portable storage unit in my front yard, where I keep all my Bluetooth speakers and knives. That way no one can sneak up on me when I’m inside sleeping on my hoard.
I would put it in the back of my mailbox so I could finally know when the mailman has bothered to show up.
I would use it to monitor when my sooner dog gets up off his bed. He likes to sneak off and poop in the house.
I would attach it to my bluetooth enabled speaker lights so when I got trick or treaters at halloween I could play creepy sounds automatically to scare the ^%$# out of them and they would drop their candy and run away. I could then go out and take their candy and eat all of the Snickers bars.
I would put it just inside the doorway of my condo unit to remind me of how lonely I am and also to alert my attack Chinchilla of any intruders. I would probably enjoy an intruder though because of my lack of visitors. I would probably order a pizza and ask them to stay for a movie.
I need to set this up to alert me to when Bigfoot is peeking through my window, “snapping his carrot” and moaning like a raped donkey…I really hate that.
If I get a free one, I’d like to convert it to an e-motion detector, since I’m not always good at human interaction or picking up on social queues.
@wesswanson Or social cues. I’m bad at both, although social queues is really just a fancy way of describing a line of people, which I could use this to alert me when the line had gone down.
I may have to place this above the ice cream drawer in the freezer to stop my diabetic mother from cheating after hours. But for the alarm I’ll record my voice: “this is your pancreas speaking. Please don’t do this to me.” Is that a feature? It should be.
My mailbox is not visible from my house. I would put the sensor INSIDE my mailbox and the receiver in my home office. Would save me several unnecessary trips to the mailbox every day.
@Judgestephen That’s exactly what I was thinking. Super handy if your mailbox is out of sight.
My Mom has alzheimers and lives with me. I would put it in the hall to let me know when she gets up for her middle of the night activities. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this solution before. Thanks
I would put it in my cats’ poop palace so we know when they have made a deposit.
I would like to know how long after I leave for work does my dog get on the couch.
@themillerfamily they had the Foscam’s last week… it’s always priceless to actually SEE them in the act… and then act so innocent when we get back home.
I would put both the sensor and the alarm in the pantry, serving as a noisy confirmation of the weakness that I am already fully aware of within myself.
I’m torn between using it to monitor my car (as there have been a number of car break-ins in the area recently) and using it to prank my best friend by hiding both the detector and the alarm in his house. Why? For the lulz.
My 4 year old likes to play “ninja” and sneak around the house trying to scare his poor dad. He is pretty darn good at it. If you send me a free one I’ll use this to occasionally preempt my son’s ninja tactics with a “don’t you even think about it kiddo.”
I’d use the motion detector to alert me that I fell over at my desk and am likely dead.
I might also use it to detect I’m approaching a building to quickly and am likely to crash into it.
I’d also like to know if the ceiling is crashing in on me so I close the browser on my computer before I’m crushed. See a theme here?
I have at least 2 ideas for my potentially free unit.
1.) I have a little terrier with a drinking problem. He doesn’t know when to stop drinking water, so he’ll sip from the water bowl for a solid couple minutes if we don’t stop him. His name is Trout (we named him before being aware of his affinity for water. His generic name at the humane society was initially ‘Scout’) but we sometimes call him Fuller in reference to the Pepsi-loving bed-wetting cousin from Home Alone. You see, almost every night, despite how many times we let him outside to potty during the day, he’ll hop out of bed, sneak into the dining room and pee on one of the legs of the dining room table. It got so bad the fake-wood floor started to bubble-up from all the piss soaking into it. It’s gotten to the point where we have to put a pee-absorbing pad beneath each of the 4 table legs, and had to move all the chairs into another room so he won’t pee on their legs. Pee pads ain’t cheap and we go through a lot! So my plan would be to put the detector in the entrance to the dining room to alert me as to when he decides to sneak in there to piss, so I could go let him outside. This would save my floor and my wallet on pads.
2.) I’m into gardening, and I have a serious mole problem. Even now in the winter I have at least 1 or 2 tearing up my lawn every day. I used traps a few times but after catching 2 or 3 I couldn’t live with the guilt, they’re amazing and elegant creatures and seeing them dangling in the trap just for the sake of my lawn really got to me. Eventually, I learned how to track them and catch them alive. I find a tunnel and step down on a part of it, then I wait for a bit and go check to see if that part has been pushed back up by the mole, then I know the mike is still active in that area. Then, I wait. If you stair at a section of the ground without moving, your eyes will be drawn to any motion. Eventually, you’ll see part of the ground being pushed up. I have a shovel and a bucket, and once I see the mole digging, I quickly scoop up a chunk of earth into the bucket. I’ve caught 8 moles (or 1 mole 8 times) and released them into the woods behind my house. The problem is I have to spend a good chunk of time, standing motionless in my front yard, staring intently at the ground holding a shovel, and I look like a maniac to neighbors and passers by. Perhaps this driveway motion detector isnt sensitive enough, but I reckon’ I could find a way to rig it up to detect when a mole is pushing up the section of tunnel I stepped on. Perhaps putting the unit itself on top of the section would cause enough motion to set it off once the mole pushed it upwards. Might not work but I’m ready to try anything, as the occupants currently ripping up my yard have somehow outsmarted me for the last few weeks like none have before.
Anyway, those are my ideas. I’ll probably buy 1 to use for either 1 of these purposes, but I’d sure appreciate a complimentary unit to use for the other purpose, or even just as an actual driveway alarm, as there has been a number of break-ins in my area lately. A few months ago some teenagers rummaged through my car and several others on the street. Damn kids. Anyway, thanks for your consideration!
@jaypeeh
This is gonna detect people?? (really HOT people?)
From the specs:
The Outdoor Unit contains a passive infrared (PIR) sensor, which detects the moving heat created by an automobile’s engine (or any other noticeably hot object moving at sufficient speed).
I run a Hungarian goulash take-out from a drive thru in my car port, however my business is constantly disrupted by an infestation of the northeastern SHWom-DRIVEA. The motion sensor would allow me to vanquish them with a bb gun during their nocturnal mating cycles
Attach it to the corner of my house to catch that sneaky little Meh-monster who gets me in trouble with my Wife for silently leaving all those Meh boxes on my front porch.
I’d use one to detect the absence of motion - particularly of my students in the lab.
Since i have a long driveway I could use one to tell me when the mail has arrived, another to tell me if someone has pulled into the driveway, a third to tell me if they made it past the halfway point (turnaround) or if they are just “parking”, and a fourth to tell me if they actually made it to the house. Oh, wait, they only have a 200 ft range and driveway is 1/4 mile long. Hmmm…
@pskemp2 Wow, and I thought my 550 ft driveway was long…
I’m going to use this to protect the closet I store my stockpile of rare and valuable C-cell and 9V batteries!
I would use this motion detector to let me know when the wife got home so I can hide my crunchy sock!
Here’s an idea. Sense your children! If you are a heavy sleeper or your master bedroom is far away and you want to hear when the little ones are out of their room (likely coming to you), or even older ones!
I would use it to alert me when im taking a nap at work and my boss is on the march
Oh crap! It’d be used to help spot & identify the very large animal (suspected coyote) that keeps digging massive holes in the yard in the middle of the night. My two dogs are worthless in this regards… as they snore the night away while literally 20 feet away a predator is attacking the yard! We. Could. Be. Next. ugh. But better than the previous poster worrying about the death squads trump will send door to door!
Four kids and two adults in the house…we are out numbered. Wouldnt this be great to detect when the children are aproaching!
I think I can incorporate this into my next costume.
Mount it on the roof so I know when the black ops helicopters are closing in on me. It might give me enough time to get to the bomb shelter and activate the heat sensing rpg launchers.
@rdsmart or I could use it to detect when pigs fly. Oh wait, that already happens. The pig even has a name, TRUMP!
I’d put it up next to the salt lick in my field to alert me to the presence of deer. I know, boring.
I’m a pastor at a small rural church. I think that I would place this facing across the front pews. That way, if anybody ever actually decided to sit up front, it would notify me with a, hopefully discrete, beep so I could come down from the chancel and award them a prize. I haven’t been able to give the Front Row Sitters Award away from when I started pastoring in 1980 through last Sunday in 2017.
I’d use this baby to protect my collection of doll appendages. They come from several of the leftover dolls from that movie Child’s Play. Did you ever see that movie? I remember seeing it in Dublin when I was a young lad. It’s silly now, that doll gave me a good scare back then. Anyway, collectors are forever trying to get their hands on these babies, and I need the motion detector to thwart their efforts.
Yeah…they’re always after me Chucky arms.
I would set this up to finally catch whatever has been sneaking into the chickens backyard at night and eating up all of the chicken chow. 'Cause right now, it is taking about $4 worth of food to produce a single egg!
Put the sensor low to the ground in the office hallway. Put the alarm above the ceiling tile. Watch confusion ensue. Hell, put the sensor behind the office fishtank and let the fish make some noise.
I would use it as a car alarm. You could put the sensor under the hood pointing at the ground somewhere low in the engine compartment and put the alarm under the dash or next to the sensor. That would scare off any burglar if it were blaring inside the car or outside.
Use it to detect the advance of the robot army. They will think it’s one of their own and be fooled by this fifth-column warning device.
What would I use the motion alarm for? I’d use it to scare away the raccoons living in the eves of my house. I would put the whole thing (both parts) in the eves and that way when the raccoons crawl by the sensor the sound will hopefully keep them from coming back. A safe and humane way of taking care of some unwelcomed visitors.
I would put this near the outside utility meters. We already know what day they read but not when. Once the alarm goes off I know the dogs can be out for the day and both they and the meter reader are happy!
I really like the creative ideas from fellow mehites but my use would be something pretty simple like to use it as it was designed to be used (where’s the fun in that, right?!) and place it near my backyard gate to alert me when someone comes in the yard. I only have a pack of 4 yappy dachshunds to do that otherwise. Those dachshunds gotta sleep some time!
The deer and bunnies are engorging themselves on my landscaping at my vacation home. If I had this to alert me, I could then launch a drone strike on their ass. From a thousand miles away! Minimal collateral damage to the house, I’m a pretty decent shot. Thank you–from an animal lover.
I’d bury it on the side of my house in a pile of bricks
This is obvious. I would use it to find Bigfoot. Since he is elusive, you would need an alarm to go off when he sneaks by and then you could run outside and catch him in your butterfly net. Boom! Fame & Fortune!
@hartba He’s gotten much better at hiding these days, especially with the abundance of cell phone cameras.
Does it work on smells too? I’d like to have one on my spouses as so when he cuts a fart, I get a warning signal to run for the hills.
I’d use it to warn me when a deer is about to raid my garden.
Beer keeps coming up missing from my garage refrigerator, one of these wireless alerts would be perfect for helping me catch the beer thief!
@woodyzim Pee in a bottle, recap it, and keep it in that fridge. I bet it stops.
I would buy two of these and some duct tape. Next, I would tape one to my forehead and one to my son’s forehead. Then we would have the staring contest to end all staring contests. Ain’t no lying THIS time, buddy.
I’d use it to keep that damn opposum out of my yard and off of my fence. He loves to tease my pugs. Then there is that damn squirrel. He steals ripe tomatoes from my garden and takes one, yes ONE bite out of each.
I’ve always been a “Peanuts” fan. I’d wait until Halloween and help Linus catch the “Great Pumpkin”.
Straight to it. Armed with this power, it would turn our family around if my younger brothers knew ahead of time when to switch from their video games to productive work. I can see it now, a foolproof system based out of the bottom of the stairs paired with a practiced escape plan. They would be unstoppable.
I would put it in my babies room so I can see my two year old get out of bed to drink my beer at three in the morning. While I’m passed out.
I would install the sensor along my driveway, but hide the indoor unit in my wife’s car, so every time she enters the driveway her car beeps at her. And then I can convince her she’s crazy, because why would a car do that?
I would use it to see which of my foster kittens has diarrhea. Not a pleasant thought picture.
I would use it to piss off my neighbor, that spends the night walking next to my fence trying to catch a peep of my wife in her nightgown or maybe me.
Definitely use this at work as my desk can be approached from behind me by a lot of people. Bosses included. It would give me time to active the “boss key” on my not-so-work-related apps and web sites.
I’d put one in my liquor cabinet to catch my kids stealing my booze!
I would use the Swann Security to alert me when those freakazoid ants begin to crawl into my house so I won’t be alarmed when I see the pesky pest!!!
I work in the IT department for a school. I can use it all over the place in the school at different times for different things.
A detector of motion detecting movement and alerting a staff member to that motion from a distance with an alert could alert us of a problem area where motion is not expected.
Truthfully I’d use it in science classes to inspire science fair projects, in areas that are locked down but may see motion and this would scare off a culprit.
I’d also use it to count my jumping jacks in my office. The ones I’ve resolved only to do if you send me one. Meh.com can promote science and my personal health at the same time.
Meh.com could win today!
Outside my teenage daughter’s bedroom window…
My future self will be visiting me sometime this month but I don’t know when. I will use this alarm to notify me when he is here. In the future, I do some very bad things so the the reckoning is coming.
Can it be programmed to turn “out” the lights when Mother-in-laws approach?
Depressingly I can’t think of a use for one.
I would use it to scare the crap out of the local wildlife. I’d set the alerter out by the dog food bowl, and then sit and watch. When a raccoon comes along (or a possum or a squirrel or even that stupid cat) to steal the food, I’d jump into action in front of the sensor, setting off the alarm, and give the thief the shock of a lifetime.
I will use it to put at the chicken coop to warn of a raccoon, possum, coyote, dog, etc. trying to kill my chickens. Will be a great use!
Want to know when bears are nearing the birdfeeders or bee hives.
Put it in your mailbox so you know when your mail is delivered. No more wasted trips to check if the mail came.
@dgoodman1754 My mailbox actually has a small yellow notification flag that pops up when it’s been opened. I can see from a pretty good distance that the mail has arrived. Highly recommended if you don’t get to Swann hack it.
I’d go for a backup sensor in the garage. I don’t have one of those fancy cars with a camera. Just a window and a fickle sense of distorted depth perception.
I’d get it for my best friend who tends to fall asleep while deer hunting. Turn it on low, then when the deer walks by, he gets a gentle “wake up” call. Several years ago he slept while we watch about 8 deer walk right past him. He hasn’t been allowed to forget it ever since.
![Sleeping Hunter][1]
[1]:
I’m putting this outside my bedroom door to alert me when my husband is coming to bed and I need to fake sleep.
i would use this to monitor my slow motion racing meets. no beep means a good clean competition. i’ve got you now jimmy o’tilly, you fast leaning bamboozler!
I am a woman living in a house with one grown man and two teenage boys. They eat all the snack food - even the small amount I hide for myself in the hopes of actually getting any of it. I will place this by my hidden snack food so I can not only stop them, but also catch them in the act, since they all deny eating my snacks.
Keep it in my lunch bag so I know when someone moves it. Damn office lunch thieves.
What would I use it for? I would use it to catch all the dog-walking, ball-playing, stroller-prowling, sunday-driving non-meh-ers to bring a little more meh in their lives.
Ive been married so long, I’d put it in the bed to alert me when there is any activity in there so I can be ready and don’t miss out. #OldManBlues
I would put them in the Smithsonian so I could know when the taxidermy comes to life.
I need one of these to protect that damn egg my mother is always bitching about.
I would put this by my front door so I don’t miss that “white knight in shining armor” when he comes knocking on my door. I have narcolepsy and might miss him because I sleep very soundly.
I would use this to monitor our mailbox. Got my husband this nice Bass mailbox for Father’s Day last year and he won’t put it up because he’s afraid someone is going to steal it
so I would put it down at the mailbox to make sure it doesn’t get stolen or maybe just so I know when the mailman has come. 
I’d install the indoor motion sensor just outside of my son’s door and the outdoor sensor by his window and catch him when he’s trying to sneak out of the house.
Beside the clothes dryer. I’d finally catch that damn sock gnome!
We have deer who like to come up and eat all of my wife’s flowers. I’d put it out back so I know when to let my dog out to scare them off. Oh, and the Opossum that keeps visiting and making a mess - who knew they would get into so much stuff…
I would use this by the pool to warn of any children trying to sneak in the pool to swim without an adult present.
My shed has been broken into on several occasions. I would mount this on the shed and hopefully it would alert me when someone was near it.
I would put it on the side of my house where a stupid wood pecker is destroying the outside of my house. When the alarm goes off, me and my trusty BB gun will be waiting
I would use it as a parcel delivery detector. When I know a package is coming I spend way too much time looking out to the street to see if Post Office, UPS or FedEx truck has pulled up yet. Since no one else comes to visit, this detector should let me relax confident that I will know when my packages arrives.
I have a terrible time sticking to my diet. I think putting this at an obnoxiously loud setting (picturing choppers with flood lights and a guy with a bullhorn here) in front of my frig could deter me from cheating or at least wake my husband so he can talk me down!
I would set it up in the bathroom so it will alert me when my dog goes in there to drink out of the toilet or tear up the toilet paper.
So how are you ever going to sell any of these if everyone who might buy one is posting what they’ll use it for and then waiting to see if they get one for free?
I would use it to alert me when the neighbors are throwing the trash into the barrels in the driveway so that I can run out and remind them that it is also their job to actually take said barrels out on occasion. Custodial services are not covered by my rent.
I would like to use it as a doorbell of sorts, so myself and my kids know when the Waitr dude is here. Gotta love some Waitr.
I’m a-gonna use one to alert me when the mailman/woman opens my mailbox!
Not the first image on search, but my new favorite thing of all time.
Not a monkey, though; Orangutans are among the Great Apes.
lurching-wailing-monkey
I’d like to set one up in my garden, to alert me to the presence of critters. I hate having my plants chewed off at the ground… Then I can turn a high-power floodlight on and scare them away…
I also thought about setting one up by the greenhouse, which has been broken into several times…
I would use this to notify me when the aliens have set down in their designated landing spot on my property. Usually the aliens that visit have invisible craft, so I can’t see them. Having one of these babies would instantly alert me that a grey or reptilian is visiting and I can whip up a batch of chocolate peanut clusters they like.
I absolutely love your humorous advertising! I laugh pretty much through the whole thing. Great way to get the reader to read every word and I do. Now,
I never know when the CATS come home. They sit outside in the cold, hungry, and I have never known anyone who had a cat that will scratch on the door to come in. Now I don’t want to say they aren’t smart enough to figure out how to scratch on the door because they might read this comment while playing on my tablet after I go somewhere and get even with me for suggesting they are dumb. This thing could save my life now by alerting me of a pending “cat attack” or I could just use it to let them in and hope they forgive me for the “dumb” comment.
It could double to let me know of someone at the door as well since my doorbell doesn’t work.
HEY, MAYBE THE CATS HAVE BEEN RINGING MY DOORBELL ALL THIS TIME THINKING IM THE DUMB ONE!
Have a great day!
Outside, to warn me when the Zombie Apocalypse arrives!
I really don’t want one, but this was freaking hilarious to read. Well worth the free merchandise. I’m sure my employer is not happy that I’m now another hour late
I need one to put on my front porch railing to alert me when the birds I just got through feeding poop on the railing so I can go out and clean it for the next batch of birds to poop on. Ad infinitum. No boredom for me.
I have a 16 year old cat that lives on my roof. A big Racoon has been attacking her and eating her food. I’d mount it over her food bowl(higher than she is tall). When he came to eat, it would beep and I could run out and shoot him with my nerf gun. Scare not harm.
I’d get 40 of them and put them on my eaves around the outside of my house so I know where to put the shotgun out the window to catch the drones.
I will put one at the bottom of the stairs leading up to my man cave. It will alert me to the presence of any she-woman attempting to make an unauthorized entry.
I’d name my motion sensor “Swann Lennon” (after Sean Lennon, who bullied me in grade school), put it in a sensory deprivation tank for an hour and then laugh at it and say “Who’s pointless now Swann?!”
Or the beach…I could take the sensor to the beach.
I’d mount one on the outside of my food truck window so I could tell when somebody walks up.
To sense the presence of the beach? Or the ‘cervesa’ guy approaching?
I’d use this in conjunction with that mini video camera drone you guys sold a few months back. When the alarm goes off I know to activate my spy drone to gain invaluable intel before approaching a potential threat.
I’d put one in my hallway so when my young children (4 under 8 years old) decide to sneak out of bed at night to watch television or play in the playroom, I could lower the “boom”.
This would be great for when your kids come home from school from a school bus to detect that they are coming up the driveway and you can have the door ready to open with snacks after getting the alert.
I’m going to put one facing my boss’s reserved parking spot so that we’ll know when he is coming in to the office.
I always wanted one of these when I was a teenager so I could masturbate in solemn peace without fear of my mom coming home early.
As an adult, I’d like to use it so I can masturbate in solemn peace without fear of my girlfriend coming home early.
I might use it to sense the presence of my teenagers approaching my purse. They love cash money, lovely jobless creatures that they are.
I would use this to sense when people arrive at my house and I am in another room.
I will use mine to alert me when a zombie or a raccoon attacks my dumpster so that I can stop it before it spreads trash all over my yard.
So, NO one believes me , that these aliens keep coming to my house. They usually come in a little saucer type space ship and fly right into the driveway like a car. They are very cute and look like little Leprechauns, but with big glass bubbles on their heads. They get out , come up to the front yard and bug the heck out of my dogs that are in the house and drink out of the bird feeder. They pick up flower petals in the summer and hold them like they are reading a book or something. The dogs are uncontrollable and won’t stop barking. I am a senior citizen and don’t move very fast. I am trying to get a good photo of them, but I never have enough notice of when they are here. This alarm would help me so much. My family doesn’t believe me.
I would use it to detect the deer that are eating my landscaping. Use the alarm to scar them away.
I’d probably end up putting it in the hallway outside my condo to tell me when my bitch neighbor is coming to tell me my music is too loud. Would hate to get another useless noise complaint!
Oddly enough, I actually need one for my driveway. I live remotely in a Nat’l Forest in the woods on a lot of acreage. Can’t see most of the driveway. Someone knocks on our door about once every 3 months or so but it usually takes us by surprise. We get surprised, but they also get surprised as we are usually alone and hubby abhors clothing. It’s really more for their safety than ours. We’ve both been caught by UPS & a church missionary sans proper outfitting. Could def use a warning. Dogs are so excited to see someone they just stand there and wag their tails.
I need one so when I am taking “extra” supplies out of the supply cabinet I won’t get caught…this time.
This+ a bit of hacking and coding with IFTT, Amazon Prime alarm! Another use would be put an alarm and lights on it so they get a surprise when they enter the monitored area!
I’d mount it on the side of my house aiming towards the side of my neighbors house where he always BBQ’s/Smokes something delicious. I would know when he’s doing this and then I could just show up with a 6-pack of beer and be surprised when offered some of his good eats!!
I need tone to catch my sneaky teenage boy going into the pantry to steal all the good snacks in the middle of the night!
I want one to set up facing down my basement stairs. That way, I’ll have a few extra precious seconds to escape when they charge the door.
I could use it to monitor the honey bees coming and going to their hive
I’d use it on my chimney in the hopes that next year I could catch Santa squeezing his butt down it…
I would use it on the fence to alert when the neighbors are in their backyard- the only time they’re there is when they are tanning floating on air mattresses in the pool. Yep- creepy neighbor alert.
I’d use at Front door. Work from home and get deliveries every day, but Fedex and UPS often don’t ring bell. This way I’d know when packages arrive, especially important when it’s raining.
This would be great to set up in the back yard so I know when the neighborhood kids try to swipe sausage out of my smoker.
I would use this for parts to build my ultimate, solar powered grave marker. Once I’m dead and gone, whenever someone comes to visit my grave, it could play a random recording of my voice: “Hi there, thanks for stopping by! I sure miss daylight…”
We have deer often sneaking into our backyard and eating our yews. Maybe this could harmlessly scare them off before they completely defoliate the bushes.
I would put it in the hallway so we wouldn’t be surprised by the kids coming into our room in the middle of our…“alone time”!!
I would use this as a hidden security measure to protect my fort from my kids in nerf wars. When the war is over, I’d use this for detecting intrusion into my man room of homemade smoked hot sauces, pickles and vintage lego sets.
Critter alert in the attic. Catch the little tree rat squirrel from chewing up the house. Field dress him and make squirrel gravy and post his hide outside for all his little smart butt friends.
I’d use it for revenge against my lazy coworker, I’d hide the buzzer in his cubicle and every time I catch him napping (about every five minutes or so) I would trigger the motion sensor!
I would place it by the cat door. Every time the cat exercised her feline freedom it would serve to piss off the Great Dane who must rely on human intervention to experience the Great Outdoors. I’m curious as to the Pavlovian response that would ensue.
I’ve been a bit backed up, so a bit of a warning in regards to movement might be helpful.
I know it’s meanspirited but I’d install it inside my house just a few feet from the front door. Once the alarm chimes my dog would run and bark at the door (translation: “hey, hey, hey, hey, someone’s here, hey, hey…”). Once she gives up and walks away, she’ll trigger the motion detector and run back to the door. Over and over. All night long. Don’t worry, she’s not some majestic dog like a retriever or Old English. She’s a yappy shitzu.
TO PROTECT THE GUN CIRCLE.
I’ll sleep with it so that whenever it detects loose motion I can get alerted!
I would put it back by my garbage cans so I know when the damn stray cats are tearing the bags apart
I would take it apart and de-solder the internals to find a way to make it notify a microcontroller of some sort. That way instead of a alarm I can wire up an air horn that will keep my damn cat off my counter.
My house is almost 90 years old and the doorbell doesn’t work well due to old wiring.
This would be perfect to put on the front porch to act as an entry chime for deliveries and visitors!
I would use this to alert me that my girlfriend is coming home when I am in bed with her sister. The funny thing is, they both look like swans!
Driveway? No.
You put this in the back of your mailbox so you will be alerted when the mail, and your Meh packages arrive.
I would use one as a up-too-late-kid-detector. We have a loft area overlooking the den/TV room, bedrooms are upstairs. My sneaky little ninja-a$$ kids will get out of bed, tiptoe to the top of the stairs and sit quietly just out of sight at the top of the stairs watching TV waaaayyyy past their bedtime… Gotta watch those sneaky little boogers (and careful with that content
)
I would place it in front of my beer fridge to detect beer thieves!
I would install it by my entry door to let me know my husband’s home so my boyfriend can get out the window. Lol
I would put it in my bedroom to alert me, If and when my wife moves when we have sex!
@julyguy What is sex?
@accelerator think that was a typo. Should have been six. Six of what, now that’s the question.
I would finally catch that office cereal thief!
I would use it for my 4 year old. He keeps getting up in the middle of the night to play on my iPad. (No, I can’t use a passcode bc he will permemntantly disable to iPad…been there). I need to know when he’s awake so I can put his ass back to bed. I’m tired of waking up between 4-5 am for the day, everyday. Fml
i’m wondering if there would be a way to wire the alert box to a shutter release cable for a DSLR. might be a good, cheap way to set up a camera out in the woods for nature photography.
I’m putting it at the stairs - catching my toddler sneaking up to the top before tumbling down
I need this! For when my dog farts. This unit would give me time to evacuate before his SBD’s hit me!
Some midnight creature is using my vegetable garden as their own personal food stand. They attack under the cover of darkness eating the center of the plant thusly destroying any chance of that plant producing a crop. I could use the detector to help put a stop to this carnage and once again enjoy fresh organic vegetable’s.
Buy one for Trump, shove it up his ass and alert everyone when Putin crams his unit up there.
Damn. It might be a chance at free but has anybody looked at those Amazon reviews?
Underpants gnomes…damn things keep taking my undewear in the night…
@otx419 ??? Profit.
I would install this motion sensor close to a busy street to monitor cars driving by and install the indoor unit outside of my annoying neighbor’s house who lives next to a 7-eleven store.
I would put it in my room to confirm my suspicions that someone or something watches me sleep.
I would put it in my kitchen and find out which cat is stealing my Cheetos!
You know how park sprinkler systems always go off at the wrong time and spray you?
Me and a friend thought of the perfect evil plan: hook it up to the sprinkler system in a park, to only turn on the sprinklers when people enter the park.
Can I use this to alert me when another household member is sneaking down the hall to turn off the damn Roomba they hate? or…to tell me when the dog is sneaking down the hall towards the bed he isn’t allowed on?
In both cases I currently just yell when I think either is happening.
I’ve noticed 4 inch wide trail in the grass, right outside of my door. I know it’s a snake. I just don’t know what kind of snake. It moves at night and I’d like to find out what it is. This is only part of the trail. This guy travels about 100 ft from one drain to another. Yes, a Swann Security Motion Sensing Driveway Alert system would work PERFECTLY for me.
See photo below!!!
I’m for putting one across the toilet bowl. That way I can get up in the night, leave all the lights off, and get confirmation that my aim is good when the alarm goes off. Brilliant!
I would put it next to my turtle tank, he is an escape artist. This way I know when I get home to search for him first thing. He is an amazing hider!!
I’d use this right next to my hidden money stash. If there is movement it better be a damn mouse!
I plan to use it to alert me when the black bears approach my shed to get at my garbage. Have had much damage done by them over the years.
I need to know when mailman/mail arrives. Will place on path mailman takes to deliver.
OMG this will be perfect for fishing. I can set it up by the stream and be able to sit back and drink my beer while waiting for an alert that there’s movement nearby - hopefully the big catch!
You can pick them up at your local Harbor Freight for around $12 or cheaper with a coupon.
I would like to set one of these up at the popcorn popper at work. That way I know when fresh popcorn is available in the break room.
@epedersen LOL. That’s a great idea!
I’m planning a cross country move, and this may work well to detect motion and notify me if anyone opens the U-Haul truck when I’m at a motel.
Mailbox alert! No more trips to an empty box.
I would use one of these for my mini-me to put under his bed. He dramatically fears what lurks in its dark depths. So every night when there is no alarm all is well. Except the night when the alarm sounds and I realize he was telling the truth and we both lie in our beds, shivering, waiting for it to take us.
Put it at the end of the hall and beat the teenager to the bathroom every morning.
These are handy. I put one by a cat door in the garage so I’d know if my indoor/outdoor cat had entered the garage at night, so I could let her back in the house…and if she was already inside then I knew a racoon or something else had slipped in…which only happened once that I know of.
@DarthW I’m pretty sure “They” make a door that only responds to a microchip that you could put in a cat collar.
Wow the things I can do with this! I can put it in my boiler room and catch the boogie man my kids assure me “is in there dude”. I can use it to catch whoever is peeing on the toilet seat and leaving it up - a strain on my marriage as I seem to be the prime suspect. I can use it to alert me to when my dog plans to come into my room and puke on my shoes in the middle of the night. I guess shutting the door would fix this but where’s the fun in that? I could keep going but I have reached the point where you will probably stop reading.
Hook the alert up to a huge speaker and put it over the garbage can lid, so my dog will know that he is very bad dog.
Of course I would mount the Swann Security Motion Detector on the roof to detect impending alien invasion.
I would use this as a cheap and easy doggy door. I have 2 chihuahuas who I am trying to house train and I think this would be the perfect thing to scare the sh** out of them so that they don’t sh** in my new apartment.
I would give the Swann Security Motion Sensing Driveway Alert to my neighbor, whom I have seen on numerous occasions drive into the wrong driveway, either one before or after her house. If she had the receiver in her car it would warn her when she was at her driveway and she would save herself the embarrassment of turning into the wrong one. Will you also be selling breathalyzers anytime soon?
@Love66junk There she goes again. Oooh, almost got the right one.
This would come in handy to know when someone was heading into our office (that’s kinda hidden away in a back room)
Need one for my husbands crotch so I know when there is movement. LOL
I’d put this in the snack cabinet to alert everyone within earshot that my willpower ran out.
I’m going to put it in my flower bed so I can catch the neighbors cat pooping and tearing up the flowers. A slingshot should defer the sweet kitty afterwards!
I’d put it in my pants.
Would put it in the garden so I know when it’s time to go out and chase the damn rabbits
I’d put both the sensor AND the alarm unit in a room I want the cats to stay out of. When it detects them, the light and alarm will send my scaredy-cats scampering out of the room.
I would use it to alert me that my girlfriend is coming home when I am in bed with her sister. The funny thing is, they both look like swans.
Mount it in my kids bedroom to sense any up and down motion coming from the bed area.
Dunno. Maybe on the porch roof pointing up to catch Amazon drone deliveries?
@rockblossom
Shhh. We don’t buy from Amazon anymore.
(They ruined woot… but now we have meh. So…meh)
Here’s another way I would use it. I would put it on my patio gate so I could hear when packages come since the people who deliver all my daily Meh purchases don’t ring the doorbell in my specified 1-2-1 pattern for all deliveries. How am I to know if it is trick-or-treaters or treats for meh-e.
No seriously, the doorbell is broken.
ohhh. i read the description now I know why there are so many comments…
put them everywhere and make electronic dance tune
narcissistic-valid-scorpion
I’m gonna try the mailbox idea (someone had above).
Our damn mail shows up somewhere between 1pm - 8pm.
I hate walking out in the pouring rain in the pitch dark to the end of our driveway… to find it isn’t there yet. shit.
I just hope the transmitter inside my mailbox doesn’t scare the mailman away…
I would set up the detector pointed at one of those sound-activated motion characters you see sitting around grandma’s house at Christmas, and put the alarm right by the character. BAMMM!!! Perpetual energy machine.
I don’t know about this one. Every time a critter walks by at night in my driveway the alarm goes off.
I’d use it to alert me when my 14 year old son tries to sneak out! Bam!
I’d put it under my porch, so if my dead relatives rise from the grave, I shall have a slight head start on them.
Definitely use it to catch my wife trying to raid the fridge for midnight snacking.
I’ll attach it next to my bed so the sensors can confirm I’m trapped in a loveless marriage.
@danudar Reading through a bunch of suggestions like these, I sense a similar trend among several mehziens. Perhaps folks spend too much time in this forum?
@caffeineguy with a community like this who needs a wife!
I’m going to use it to monitor who comes through my front security gate (that no longer locks because of house shifting). My kitchen windows look out over the courtyard and I’m constantly butt naked in the kitchen and tired of strangers coming through the gate and into the courtyard viewing all my junk in the trunk for free!!
I am going to hack the motion sensor to also activate my security camera, because the camera’s motion detection is terrible and this type of sensor will give less false positives. Also to warn me when my dogs learn how to open the garage door and escape.
I work in a Church and with all the different entrances it is hard to be welcoming to the members and guests and secure. A small “alert” just might be the ticket!!
Gonna need two - to point at the White House and Trump tower to see exactly when the economy goes South.
What would I do with this ?!! It’s a no brainer - it’s beeming right across the side of the house my now high school teen daughter would fall from when she tried to sneak out her window or some unlucky suitor into the window
Motion that sucka!
I’d mount the sensor and receiver on my washing machine, with the receiver turned all the way up. That would stop my cats from peeing on the lid.
I would put this in my roommates doorway, with the alarm somewhere hidden in his room. Therefore every time he comes and goes, a beep will come somewhere in his room, but he would never be able to locate it as it will only beep when he passes the doorway, slowly driving him mad.
I’d use it to let me know when someone is coming when I’m on the computer looking at things I shouldn’t. I mean shopping, why what were you thinking?
MEH, I think you need to get YOUR MONEY back on these. Harbor Freight sells them everyday for $13.99 and if you use their 20% off coupon, that if you are on their mailing list you receive a couple times a week, you can buy it for $11.19. They have also had them on sale for as low as $9.99.
Link to Harbor Freight
http://t.harborfreight.com/wireless-driveway-alert-system-93068.html?utm_referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F
Same unit, different brand name.
May finally catch the SOB armadillo wreaking havoc in the flower beds!
@ghigliotty Great idea! I have had bad armadillo problems and I live in the country and can shoot on my place legally. No staying up all night just put the sensor down where the dang creatures dig, and wait with the shotgun ready by the door. I can go to sleep and not stay up. just wake with the alarm!
A great way to know if the chicks are in danger. There has to be a way to stop the fox from getting the chickens and knowing when she is here is the first step. Unfortunately, being a fox, she’ll figure it out and find a new way into the yard. Maybe one on each driveway, the edges of the barn, the low branches on the trees, heck - maybe even the chickens themselves.
this will guard my homegrown from envious theives
These are great! I bought 2 for $9.99 from harbor freight. They come with different channels for each set so I bought one with different channel than my first, and that receiver is in another room, on another side of the house, so we know which one had movement. Lots of false alarms until you put it in a plastic gallon jug cut out in front to limit the visible field of it to much less. I also cut out the bottom so water would not pool in it. I mounted the jug on our security light pole at chest height and then mounted the sensor in the back, centered on the rectangular cut out. I put the cap back on so the jug eliminated the false alarms and provides weather and sun protection for the sensor. Great driveway annunciators for $9.99!
Bears. Bears in the driveway alarm. Bears.
I would use this for sweet, sweet revenge. No sign we have created has kept people from letting their dogs poop on the side of our house. Imagine my sheer joy at catching them red-handed with this little gem. YES
I would us this gadget to give me a warning late at night, when my neighbor let’s their dog crap all over my lawn and just leave it there.
Then I can catch them!! Lol
Hahahaha. Didn’t read other comments first.
I rent out my spare room on Airbnb and keep my bedroom locked if I am not there. I would use this to keep an eye on my door from the inside in case any guest tries to snoop, kill me in my sleep, or have an orgy.
I would use this to know when my puppy is trying to sneak upstairs to pee on my bed while I’m not looking.
Living near the woods has real meaning for the mice that enter the house when searching for food. I’d use the this thing to notify me when the mice enter through our garage so that I can put out cheese to feed them.
There’s no worse nightmare than coming back from your fast-food job, still wearing your sweaty pirate uniform, and getting caught in the bathroom by the girl you’re fantasizing about. This thing would help anyone avoid the “Reinhold”, a move perfected by Judge Reinhold in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Maybe if you threw in the money shots of Phoebe Cates striding across a misty swimming pool and unsnapping her bikini top, you could sell more of these. Anyway, if just one person (Me?) could be saved from having to yell, “Doesn’t anybody fucking knock anymore?” it would be worth it.
I have a couple of home policies.
I frequently home smoke cheeses. I think i might just put this in the cheese drawer of the fridge just to freak people out.
I think this would be great for our indoor swimming pool room. It is separate from the house but I worry about kids getting in it and am afraid of what might happen if they don’t know how to swim. ronplant@juno.com
I would put one of these on the gate to my back yard. I have had two experiences when a Jehovah Witness will knock on my door, get no answer, and then go to my back door and try there.
One day I had left the back door unlocked when I was cooking dinner and they CAME IN to my house to leave their pamphlets. I would love to have one of these!!
@zkindle11 If they ever come in my house, I’ll send them to meet Jehovah. No witnesses.
I would put it on my back porch so I can watch my feral cats that I feed! Also to watch this possum, who I have befriended and named Plucky and formed a mutual bond respect and trust.
My dog is constantly barking at any outside motion outside. I would put the sensor on her and the alarm in my office so I could be alarmed when she was alarmed by the alarm she was alarming.
I would like to get one for free. Actually, it’s for the local library, to be installed in the history room. Although there’s a door to the history room, it cannot be locked due to fire safety (there’s an emergency exit there). Patrons keep going into the room and taking (stealing) stuff.
There’s usually only two ladies working in the library so they cannot monitor who goes in and out of the room. This motion sensor will prevent historical things (of our little town, Roxbury, NY) disappearing from the room since the ladies do have impeccable hearing. 
@bf17309 I would actually be glad to buy one for your library, if you’re serious. Libraries need all the help they can get.
@StGermain Yes, it’s sad that people steal historic items from the library’s history room. Dian, the library’s director asked me to do a little research on how to prevent or minimize this problem. I’m thinking this may work. I am currently updating their website (just don’t look at the board of directors and library staff sections of the website…still collecting photos of everyone). But here’s the website: http://roxburylibraryonline.com
@bf17309 I ordered it to be sent to the library. A gift, from a member of the Linebaugh PL Friends Assoc.
@StGermain Wow! Thank you! Is this the Linebaugh Public Library in TN? Dian, our library director wants to thank you and ask how she can do so? I’ve explained to her that I’ve been communicating with you through the forum and I’m not sure if we’re supposed to give out contact info. Let me know how to connect the two of you.
@bf17309 Yep, Linebaugh PL in Murfreesboro, TN. I don’t really need thanks, but she can email me at c_lichon@hotmail.com if she feels the need.
@bf17309 Did the library get this, and is it doing what they want it to do?
@StGermain The library has received it. They are awaiting installation. The director will probably contact you to thank you once it’s put up. I’ll attach a photo once it’s up. Thanks again for your generous donation.
I would like to get one so I could catch my dogs when they try to sneak out to go party with the raccoons and possums at night. They never invite me.
I’d make sure my chickens are safe and stay away from the main road. Oh and I’d make sure my kids are safe and stay away from the main road.
So I will no when my neighbors wife is sneaking over to see me
Well, you guys sure found a way to get a lot of posts in here. Offer something for free… anything, as long as it’s free. Now I just hope I’m not too late to win one. Here’s what I would do with it:
Leave it in the package and put it in the spare bedroom with various LED light strips, Bluetooth speakers, and other random shit I didn’t know I needed. Then I’d find it one day while packing to move and end up just leaving it for the next owner of my house.
I would use the motion detector in the best genius ways possibles! I would attach the motion sensor to myself. That way, it would alarm only when I moved around. That would decrease my fear of alarms in public places. Car alarm in a parking lot when I walk by—no big deal I’m used to it! Bank robbery alarm while I am making a huge deposit of 75 cents cash money! No problem, I probably won’t even flinch! I would be so used to alarms I would have no stress at all! Also, silence would mean I wasn’t walking around. If I was walking around and it was silent, then hey I just got the added benefit of a dead battery detector too!
I would use it in my garden to alert me when animals and people go in the garden without permission! It would really be helpful! Thanks in advance! Terry Harper
I’d use it to to detect Donald Trump’s great ideas, no, the greatest ideas, or maybe even the biggest ideas
.
What the heck happened? Nearly 650 comments for this item? Was there an open bar in Meh forums?
@huja “Want one free? Post in the forum telling us what you’d do with a motion sensor alarm, and if we like your idea, we’ll send you one”
Chastity belt for the modern age
Probably try to jury rig it to turn lights on and off
I would set it up in the kitchen at work along with a wireless camera. Catch the bastards that steal lunches and leave dirty dishes in the sink!!
I need one of these to alert me when mom is headed for my room so I can zip up and hide the porn in time…
Booby trap the desk of that guy… once he falls asleep…
I attach it to myself to detect when more shitty things are going to happen to me in 2017.
I would send this to my son who is just left the nest a couple thousand miles away and had his car robbed outside work. Old classic car. He could use as a car alarm. Save the hassle and hartache of getting ripped off when you are broke and struggling. LIFE
I have a chicken coop and I would use it to warn me if a possum is trying to get in the coop.
My cats run around the neighborhood all day and come home about dinner time. I must check over and over and over until I finally find them at the door wanting to come in! If they could bark it would be easier, but having an alert would be great. I am 77 years old and had a stroke 5 months ago so you can understand why this would be so very special for me…my total income is $784 a month. If I could have one free I would be eternally grateful!!
@snyderbiro Put a cat door in
Imagine the scene… A kid’s patterned rug with legos, cars, and other random toys scattered upon it. A living memorial to the fun and joy which had been experienced upon it just an hour or two before… Then (bomp-bomp-BOMP!) a cat slinks into the scene. Angry at his recent eviction from the owner’s bed upstairs, he’s pissed, and ready for action. With no humans around to watch, he sneaks onto the rug, kicking a couple of legos aside, and prepares to express his anger via a well placed turd, but his “quiet time” is disrupted by the screech unleashed from a recently acquired Swann motion alert, startling the nasty feline and sending him to the relative safety of his kitty box.
Go Swann motion sensing alarm! Dave save us all from the pissy kitty in our lives!
I would put one in my garage to catch some pesky pack rats that are stealing stuff.
I need multiple alarms:
A. One alarm to alert me to the arrival of that bodacious pool boy. Someone’s got to go out there and make sure all the leaves are scooped out, no chemicals are forgotten, and that he doesn’t accidentally fall in the pool, nearly drown, and need mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. This device could save a life, dammit!
B. One alarm in the carport to make sure the truck tailgate isn’t stolen again. Them durn thieves make more money off’n tailgates than they used to make off of rustling cattle. I guess it’s a lot more sanitary, though. Durn dainty tailgate-stealin’ thieves.
C. One alarm to keep the kids out of the Christmas present closet. They’re too smart for their own good. I’m going to start hiding some empty wrapped “presents” somewhere else, and throw one in the fireplace every time I catch them snooping in my hiding place.
I would put the sensor outside my bosses office so I knew when to minimize the browser where I’m posting to MEH forums and pretend to work until he’s back in his office. This thing could save my job and in turn keep me from being homeless and broke, keep paying taxes, keep the people at my favorite bar gainfully employed, which would prevent me from some future rampage that could be mistaken for a terrorist act sparking the next world war. In short this could cause world peace.
@lost1 best be sure they don’t already have keystroke tracking on your computer
I would put it inside my mailbox so I know when the mail has been delivered.
I got this is the mail yesterday.
Damn. It doesn’t work from inside my mailbox.
I think the signal from the transmitter just won’t go through the metal box (which is maybe 150’ from the house).
So…
I opened up the transmitter, found the antenna circuit, soldered on a 8" wire, closed everything up with the antenna wire coming out of the small drain hole at the bottom.
Then, I opened up the receiver, found the existing antenna wire & placed it so it sticks out of the case on top.
I’m gonna drill a tiny hole in the back of my mailbox, pull the antenna though & hope for the best. I already tried just connecting the whole box to the antenna, but it didn’t work.
PS… I should maybe see if it’s legal to put electronic shit inside a mailbox?
@daveinwarsh It works perfectly! Woo Hoo
The mail delivery person didn’t freak out & probably didn’t even notice it.
I used double-stick tape & stick it on the inside back of the box, towards the top. The antenna wire just hangs outside the back of the box.
my freebie driveway alert device arrived yesterday. thank you, meh!
now i need to locate that pet slug of mine so as to commence slug movement tracking. i’m afraid he got wind of what i was going to do and managed to slowly but surely escape.