Severely Serious
17So I know I'm a recent forum poster, but I need all the support I can find right now . . . And I know how this story sounds, believe me. This year has been horrible for my family. My husband tore his right biceps in December (he's right handed) and had it surgically repaired 1/6/15. My oldest son had surgery to lengthen both of his Achilles' tendons on 1/9/15. We had a flood in our basement in February. In April my husband wasn't feeling well, tired a lot, abdominal pain, etc. At the end of May/beginning of June my younger stepdaughter (15 years old) wound up at the ER twice; the second time she was admitted and transferred an hour away to another hospital's PICU, where she was treated for heart failure for 11 days. She had arrhythmia and they had to shock her heart to reset the rhythm. She got out of the hospital 6/12 (the last day of school). We found out my husband (age 41) has stage 3 rectal cancer the following week (it doesn't run in his family, no one else has ever had it). He's had 6 weeks of chemo and radiation this summer, and has surgery next month. Now today my stepdaughter (same one) had a stroke, and is back in the hospital an hour away. My husband is with her but I'm home with our two boys who are 9 and 11 and can't even wrap their heads around what's been going on. So, if anyone prays, or can send us some positive vibes, I'd sure appreciate it!!
- 15 comments, 18 replies
- Comment
May God bless you and keep your family safe. Sending you prayers!
@mfladd thanks for that!
@mikibell Thanks so much. I will NOT say "things can't get any worse", but I just keep saying "Next year better be the best year EVER!" :)
@nhbillups Sorry deleted, looking for something else. Have to be careful with the pics.
@JonT, @MEHcus, @moose - anyway to get a more appropriate topic bubble, please - thanks.
Maybe this...
if you find it appropriate
@mfladd Thanks @moose, or whatever mod changed it.
@nhbillups well wishes and prayers to you and your family during this difficult time.
So sorry to hear about this!
Well wishes and good vibes to you and your family.
I'm so sorry about what you're family has been going through. Nothing but good thoughts for you and yours.
Sorry things are so difficult. I hope it turns around soon. Sending healing wishes to you and yours.
You've had more than your share of bad, it's time now for the good.
Sounds like an extremely tough year so far. I am so sorry you and your family are going through all of this. As someone on major cancer #3 (one of which has no cure) I know just what an awful emotional earthquake the cancer gig is - not only for your husband but for the rest of the family too - the fears, anxiety, panic, financial struggles, tears...
With respect to your boys (my daughter has dealt with me and cancer since 4th grade with her) MD Anderson Cancer center advised me that kids take how worried to be/how to react from how those around them react - especially their parents; that trying to keep their schedule of activities, etc. the same as possible helps them feel more secure and melt down less over everything. That I shouldn't be surprised/hurt if some days my daughter acts like nothing is wrong and is focusing on her wants, friends, activities, etc. putting them first. She is just being a kid and that she can do that is actually a plus. Kids need to be able to escape and shut out all the stress, being the center of her own little world, etc. (that being said grownups have the same need - including the patient LOL) and just act like a kid whose life goes on is helpful for her in coping.
When giving information only give what they can understand and take in. Ask if they have questions and only answer the questions they ask. Since a child's time sense is very different than an adult (think of how slowly time went prior to christmas as a kid), that often it makes sense not to discuss things that can, might, will happen too far into the future unless they specifically ask.
Good luck with all of this. Make sure you have people taking care of your needs too - not just those of your husband and kids.
@Kidsandliz Thanks so much for sharing your experiences; we just began family therapy on Tuesday and Wednesday this happens! But I appreciate the time and information, thank you.
Hang in there and know we all send warmth and goodness your way. Do you have a support network around? Accept help with meals, chores, shuttling kids around when you can. Please keep us updated.
@Pamtha Thanks; my family is all 150+ miles away, but since my husband hasn't been able to work since June, they've been sending us money to keep afloat. DH's family is nearby and have offered to help out, and they've been ocming over and trying to help, but there's only but so much they can do. But I appreciate the support!
May you find the strength to deal with the challenges you are facing.
I sent you an email- let me know here if it doesn't go through.
@sammydog01 I got it, thanks :)
I suggest you join BF2. Why?
"Alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
- H. Simpson.
Good luck with stuff!
@marklog If only I could stand the taste of beer :) DH likes it, but he can't drink it right now anyway. But thanks for the thought!
@nhbillups That sounds like a challenge. I guarantee I can find a beer you like. Please fill out this questionaire:
Do you like coffee?
If yes, do you like flavored coffee? Which flavors?
Do you like bread?
Do you like chocolate?
Do you like fruit?
If yes, which types?
Do you like bourbon?
Please post your responses and the BeerOMatic will solve this tragedy for you.
@marklog: no, N/A, not plain (but grilled in butter is good), usually dark (milk and white I'll occasionally have but I don't like them as much), yes (but not fermented apparently, as I don't drink wine either), most any fruit (can't think of any I don't like), no.
And I'll say you're not the first to attempt this, so don't be surprised if I don't like any!
@nhbillups The BeerOMatic has processed your responses and has generated a beer profile for you:
Fruit and Cider! You are guaranteed to like one of the following beverages:
Yes, the asparagus beer affects your urine in just the way you would expect.
@marklog Vander Mill is a maybe but that's not technically "beer", is it?
@nhbillups I don't get caught up in technicalities. fermented sugars, all of them!
@marklog LOL, glad we got that straight :) Thanks for the laugh!
@marklog Asparagus beer?! Do want! Also the Short's looks fascinating… I think I need to pilgrimage out to MI to try… many of their beers. Sorry, @nhbillups, I'm very easily distracted by beers…
@brhfl No problem, but if you're pilgrimaging I expect you'll be able to send me the Vander Mill, right? :)
It takes such strength to reach out and ask for help and I respect your ability to do that. You and your family are in my thoughts and heart.
Thanks for sharing with us, sorry all that is happening all at once. I'll definitely be praying for you and your family @nhbillups.
Thank you all for the good thoughts, it's helped so much! As of now her Drs are working to get her on the heart transplant list but they're still doing some tests. She's doing somewhat better today, so hurray for that!!
@nhbillups Thanks for the update, and best wishes for a better future!
I will absolutely pray for you and your family! Do you mind if I ask your first name, so I can use it in prayer?