See ya, suckers!
45Y’all aren’t gonna have ol’ @therealjrn to kick around any more. I just got an OFFICIAL EMAIL FROM Mr CHRISTOPHER A. WRAY THE EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI) WASHINGTON DC. congratulating me on my choice of email because I won $14.5,000,000.00 (Fourteen Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars), From a Notional Lottery Company.
HAHAHAHA, ALL YOU PEOPLE ARE LOOSERS NOW
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (infor@hotmail.com) ATTENTION DEAR LOTTERY WINNER, This email has been issued to you in order to officially inform you that The federal bureau of investigation (FBI) have completed the investigation on an International lottery Payment which was issued to you by the International Lottery Company with the help of the newly developed technology IMNS (International Monitoring Network System) The federal bureau of investigation (FBI) has discovered this through an online intelligence-monitoring network system that your email address was automatically selected online by the lottery winning System. This has legally won you the sum of $14.5,000,000.00 (Fourteen Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars), From a Notional Lottery Company outside the United States, Your Lottery Winning Funds is 100% risk free and legal. Contact Mr CHRISTOPHER A. WRAY THE EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI) WASHINGTON DC. on the below information for more directive on how to claim your Lottery Winning Funds, Email: federalbureauo94@gmail.com Congratulations once more! BEST REGARDS, THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION(FBI). Washington, D.C UNITED STATE OF AMERICA.
See? It’s 100% risk free and legal. All you loosers are gonna be sad! Your sorry now!
- 12 comments, 62 replies
- Comment
@duodec Oh my! longstandard agreements?
Well I had NO IDEA that the Notional Lottery Company would be cheating! Please don’t post my picture because I never steals from babies.
@duodec @therealjrn
/giphy lottery winner
/giphy lottery loser
Trying to figure out how to read that number is making my head hurt.
Far more than the idea that anyone would believe that THE EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI) would use gmail.
@DennisG2014 GMail is likely more secure than much of the .gov email infrastructure since they swallowed the microsoft kool-aid. Of course now Mr Wray will start receiving google ads on all his web browsing for lotteries and get rich quick schemes
@DennisG2014 @duodec Wasn’t GMail developed for GMen?
@DennisG2014 @rpstrong Yes, just like technology was developed for technologuys.
Couldn’t have happened to a better @therealjrn
@Ignorant
Also, prob couldn’t have happened to a worse @therealjrn
/giphy just sayin’
@f00l @Ignorant @therealjrn Also also? Also also might have happened to @thefakejrn, so also also take that into account.
Also also also also. Also. Word of the Day, sez me.
I, personally, strive towards being a tighter.
@djslack TWSS?
@djslack @llangley
@djslack @therealjrn TIL…SMH
@therealjrn Heard the gif in Peter’s voice.
@djslack @llangley @therealjrn omg… lol, where in the heck did you find that gif!!! lol
@djslack @llangley @lseeber I found it on the internet of all places!
@djslack @llangley @therealjrn lol. Imagine that! But that’s what they all say.
@djslack @llangley @lseeber I was just holding it for a friend of mine, it’s not mine, honest!
@djslack @llangley @therealjrn mm hmmm. I’m not being anal about it but, I’d be curious as the the search terms you used, lol.
@djslack @llangley @therealjrn so sad the gif is gone from the post. What was it?
@Kidsandliz it is up a little ways. It is a Family Guy post and he is pulling what appears to be anal beads…
@tinamarie1974 Thanks. All I see is the little blue square with a “?” in it. Tried to open in a new window and it downloaded something that my computer couldn’t read. Sounds like I was in luck with that though.
@Kidsandliz @tinamarie1974 Yes. Yes you were. In luck, that is!
@llangley @tinamarie1974 Not as lucky as Quagmire, apparently.
@llangley @therealjrn he does look pretty happy. Giggity!
I literally just had a conversation about how many people misuse lose/loose and loser/looser on social media. Thank you for backup up my complaint.
I see I should have thrown in your/you’re as well
@lichme
Are you/youse/y’all/all y’all/your/you’re a grammar and spelling nazi?
Don’t blame the internet. It’s much kinda to blame swipe/autocorrect keyboards and fat fingers.
(And phat brainz)
/giphy phat brainz
@f00l Not typically, and complaint may have been the wrong word (more like observation). Lose/loose was just a specific one that kept appearing over and over the same day.
@lichme without grammer how would we know we are being scammed by a foreign nut job? You know. Other than the offer making no sense. Who are these for…
@lichme No, Looser is just a shorter form of Looooooser! And since he now has 14 kajillion dollars coming, the sorry definitely belongs to you - he had one, but now it’s yours.
/giphy loooser
@lichme @ybmuG did we stop just wearing the big L on our heads? Did I miss the memo?
@ybmuG
I was actually thinking about this one
@lichme @ybmuG Louuuuzers!
@lichme @therealjrn @ybmuG
You could really use an umlaut, ya know. Perhaps you can purchase one with your incoming $14.5 plus zeros and change.
/giphy umlaut
@lichme @therealjrn
/youtube twister Dusty loser move on
@f00l I will give anyone a bargain price on umlauts if they buy by the dozen. Then they can type:
Löööööösers!
@rockblossom
I’ll buy a dozen, Lüz0r.
@lichme I’m fond of the ye/yez/yer usage meself. I do use y’all, but mostly in jest.
@lichme @ybmuG When you see “Nooooooooooo!” in text, do you mentally pronounce it like “no,” or like “nu.”
I do the latter.
@lichme @Limewater yeah, but when I see “Mooooooooo” I hear “mo” in my head and not “mu”. Weird
Huh…look at that, he really is the director of the fbi…
https://www.fbi.gov/about/leadership-and-structure/fbi-executives
@mikibell so I guess we know their script is at least updated in the last two years. And they still couldn’t afford even a decent English speaker for their scam.
And now we can all think about whether or not we knew who the FBI director was without you checking and whether or not we should feel bad about not knowing… Or Knowing
@mikibell @unksol I TOLD YOU IT WAS REAL.
@mikibell @therealjrn you said you were leaving and you’re still here… So… I bet it’s a trap to get you for accepting stolen property
@mikibell @unksol I’M JUST WAITING ON MY $14.5,000,000.00
@mikibell @therealjrn @unksol
When you get the dough, get in touch. I’ll give you a great deal on umlauts.
I can beat that lüz0r @rockblossom.
@unksol I am embarrassed to admit I had to look it up… sigh… this getting old shit sucks!
@f00l @mikibell @therealjrn @unksol
Bah! I sell more than just umlauts. You never know when you’ll need to show the difference between a pêcheur and a pécheur - even if you didn’t there was a difference. And French just sounds so classy. With a full gross of umlauts, I will throw in a set of diacritics to spice up the French. I’ll also throw in some tildes. I’m a little low on stock right now, but I’m expecting a new batch in mañana.
You will have to sign an agreement to not resell them on eBay.
@mikibell I didn’t know either. I’m trying to decide if I should feel bad about it. If @therealjrn gets that wad I’ve got some ocean front property in Arizona I’d like to sell
@mikibell @therealjrn @unksol great. Now I’ve got that song stuck in my head…
/youtube oceanfront property
@llangley @mikibell @therealjrn damn it you ratted me out
@mikibell @therealjrn @unksol Probably going to come as monopoly money and you’ll have to pay the postage to get it (snicker, ).
I had one not so long ago. I was going to be the trusted intermediary in the transfer of funds. Problem was I couldn’t take them up on it as I was at mom’s with no internet.
/giphy I was a loser on that deal
@mikibell @therealjrn @unksol
@Kidsandliz @mikibell @therealjrn whatever. I’m enjoying George straight. Keep your fake money
@mikibell @rockblossom @therealjrn @unksol
I’m a mass marketer. Volume products only. In this case, only items popular in l33t.
Oh sure. Yep. Of course.
Oh yeah. My store is called
Wälümläütl33tmärt.
Check it out on eBay, Craigslist, and the local corner drug zone.
/giphy l33t
@f00l @mikibell @rockblossom @therealjrn well I’m NOT throwing in the Golden gate free. You’ll have to negotiate that separately.
@Kidsandliz man, you just can’t win can you?
@Kidsandliz @therealjrn well not free for just anybody. Maybe for you…
@rockblossom
Since most fishermen lie about the size of their catch, there is actually little difference.
@therealjrn Yeah I seem to miss out on all these fantastic money give aways. Just my luck.
I am sure that if I were to buy any lottery tickets they’d be losers too. I understand from an old neighbor (a retired plumber who back then bought $400/week of tickets - may not be doing that now as he may be out of money) in another state where there was a lottery (none in this state) that if you “feel lucky” that changes the odds of winning. I’m thinking he has a deeper understanding of statistics than I do. Of course I only taught statistics to undergrad who were allergic to math so that must be it. My alternative explanation is that he was smoking his losing lottery tickets since I am pretty sure just putting a match to your money gets you nothing.
Hopefully they
willwon’t make a typo when theyempty out your bank accountwire you your winnings. Keep us posted on your soon to be wild adventures as you celebrate your good fortune@f00l @mikibell @rockblossom @therealjrn @unksol
I’m good on all of those items, but if a stray signo de interrogación de abrir, you know, happens to fall off a truck, drop me a line. I’ll make it worth your while.
@macromeh ¡You are in luck! ¿How many do you need?
@therealjrn will you remember us when you’re rich and famous?
@UncleVinny
/giphy rich and infamous
@UncleVinny
/eightball will @therealjrn remember us when he’s rich and famous?
You may rely on it
@chienfou @therealjrn @UncleVinny I’ll be extremely disappointed in him/her if they don’t immediately purge us from their memory with heavy doses of alcohol on an island somewhere
I am all the time winning things from Notional Lottery Companies.
@whogots That would be the NOtional lottery company. As in NO lottery here. Correct?
@Kidsandliz I thought winning a Notional Lottery was when you daydream about what you’d do if you were independently wealthy.
Are we just going to ignore the several systems the federal bureau of investigation had to use to find @therealjrn:
I agree with @therealjrn. If Mr Wray had all these systems in place to for the Notional Lottery system, it must be legit!
/giphy lollipop
/giphy sucker
Got some time to kill?
https://www.419eater.com/
Hey - I am going to be rich too!! Just got this:
Dear Friend,
How are you today? Hope all is well with you and your family? I hope this mail meets you in a perfect condition. I am using this opportunity to thank you for your great effort to our unfinished transfer of fund into your account due to one reason or the other best known to you.
But I want to inform you that I have successfully transferred the Cheque out of the company to someone else who was capable of assisting me in this great venture Due to your effort, sincerity, courage and trust worthiness you showed at the course of the transaction I want to compensate you and show my gratitude to you with the sum $250,000.00 (two hundred Fifty thousand united states Dollars)in addition to your lottery winnings of $500 thousand now amounting to $750,000.00(seven hundred and fifty thousand United States Dollars).
My dear friend I will like you to contact the finance house for the collection of this international certified bank draft. The name and contact address of the Person with your Cheque is Mr. Alfred Morris, is as follows.
COMPENSATION AND FINANCE HOUSE HEAD OFFICE
CONTACT AGENT: MR.ALFRED MORRIS.
Email: (alfredmorris1@qq.com)
At the moment, I am very busy here because of the investment projects which myself and my new partner are having at hand. Finally, remember that I have forwarded instruction to the finance house on your behalf to send the bank draft to you as soon as you contact them without delay. Please I will like you to accept this token with good faith as this is from the bottom of my heart.
Thanks and God bless you and your family. Hope to hear from you soon.
My sincere advice to you as a christian is that you should endeavor to pay your tithe to a bible believing church when you get the prize.
Best Regards,
Mrs. Sherry Williams
N:B So sorry for have contacted you for so long it was due to the fact that i was responding to medical treatment i went for surgery and ever since I came back I couldn’t locate you until i finally made it. That was why I am contacting you back to inform you that I finally made it as a result of this I had to compensate you with this offer.