Out Like a Goat (April 2018 Scapegoat Blame Thread)
20Congratulations @shahnm, you’ve finally managed to teach us all where and how to store our batteries.
Now that the battery storage dilemma has been solved, it’s been decided that everything else is your fault this month. That’s right. Easter Sunday being on April Fool’s? Your fault. The meh-rathon being on that same day? All you. Those batteries I keep putting on top of my fridge? Well… nah… still you.
Until May, anyway.
- 41 comments, 158 replies
- Comment
Welcome to the club, fucker.
may your reign be fucking abominable. so say we all.
@carl669 Fucking abominable mountain goat… That is a title I will strive to live up to.
[NSFW REDACTED]
@mike808
Now I feel left out. : (
Poor me.
Well shucks y’all.
I’m still somewhere in some mountains or other for spring break (guess that kinda makes me a mountain goat…), but I’ll be back at goat central in a couple of days. I have been separated too long already from my tender refrigerated batteries…
@shahnm
@shahnm You don’t look too separated from your … batteries.
@mike808 That horrifying picture seems like a mob threat…
@mike808 @shahnm You better not piss us off then! Start taking your blames!
@ELUNO,
I blame @shahnm for you mistakenly blaming me instead of The Most Rightful and Deserving GOAT of April 2018, (ab)user @shahnm.
@ELUNO @mike808 @shahnm I blame @shahnm that the refrigerator isn’t even plugged in. How are you going to keep those poor batteries cool?
@ELUNO @mehcuda67 @shahnm
Unblame for using the battery-powered chiller inside the fridge, just for when the fridge is unplugged. Be prepared.
@shahnm has already explained the battery backup batteries.
@ELUNO @mehcuda67 @mike808
My fault for not being more clear. And redundant. Repeatedly. Again…
We all know who’s fault it is everyone didn’t get a fuku.
@mike808
/giphy things are proceeding exactly as I have foreseen
@mike808 That giphy wasn’t exactly what I was looking for, but erm yeah… it was exactly what I was looking for.
Well charge up those batteries to keep yourself going…
Definitely blaming @shahnm.
@mike808
Yeah asshole. Stay out of my fridge. That’s where I keep my batteries for crissake!!
I’m in a bad mood.
Vehicle issues. Waiting for tow.
Phone battery not excellent.
I blame blame blame blame blame you.
@f00l
Is the car trouble battery related?
@f00l @narfcake Not necessarily. I might causing trouble just for kicks and giggles. Goats can be baaaaaad…
@narfcake
I thought it might have been. Apparently not.
(I am not an engine person , unfortunately.)
@KittySprinkles sends her best.
@mike808 all of my personalities agree… Fuck off everyone!!
@KittySprinkles Interesting, this post equals probably 25% of all the posts you bothered posting during your lame GoaT reign…
@mfladd
I’m not sure if this sucks or blows…
but it should be fun all month.
@2many2no It depends upon which end you are on.
@2many2no @rtjhnstn
/giphy that’s what she said
Unblame: I got a Fuko at midnight so I have been relaxing the rest of the day.
@ELUNO I’ll figure something else out for you…
Counterpoint to @ELUNO: I still have been unsuccessful. That’s a blame AND an unblame.
Success. Finally. Have some
unblame, @shahnm!@narfcake The VMP one?
@Kidsandliz Yep. Still had to go through the whole Captcha image thing, so to get it 30 seconds in, I was surprised.
@narfcake Well fewer vying for it so that is a likely explanation. Now you can relax and take a nap.
@Kidsandliz No nap. Need to do more productive things.
/image purrductive
@Kidsandliz @narfcake I imagine that once you receive the actual fuku standard size and weight package, haphazardly populated with carelessly curated trash that less reputable stores couldn’t even get the trash collectors to remove, and sealed with an inadequate quantity of randomly applied adhesive-free packing tape, you will again be seeking someone to blame. I stand at the ready.
@narfcake @shahnm Hey I already had one come totally empty due to a deficit of tape on the box and another one come open with a few things still inside so no idea what got lost then. I have noticed they are better about taping boxes these days though.
@Kidsandliz @narfcake Then regrettably you may actually receive the items they sent. That’s much, much worse. Somehow I feel responsible.
Snow in April.
Ugh.
Last night, after a year, I had the captcha picture requirement again.
Just checked again on a captcha site, and requirement went away again.
More annoyed about the snow though.
BLAME!
/roll 7d6
You rolled a total of 23
You fault still no job on the horizon after this one ends in 5 weeks. AND the vet bills are mounting. AND and and well never mind… anyone who has been unemployed can fill in the blank.
@Kidsandliz If you’re looking for something to do, I’m thinking about taking on a goat-minion. The pay isn’t very good, but you can have all the blame you want. There’s plenty of that to go around…
@shahnm
/giphy are you crazy? No!
I blame @shahnm for all the “This Item In Your Fridge Is Causing Your ED” spam. I’m just going to assume they’re talking about batteries and/or goat cheese.
@TheFLP I think you may be referencing the one type of spam email I have never personally received. That’s probably also my fault…
Unblame for the new shirt @ACraigL sent me. I fucking love it!!!
@mfladd That’s an awesome shirt.
@mfladd @Thumperchick
https://shirt.woot.com/offers/monster-hunter?ref=meh_com
@mfladd @narfcake I’m not surprised. Drakxxx is one of my top 3 favorite designers. The mix of style and touch of creep factor is perfection.
BLAME on the saga that is my lack of sofa.
I live in a small apartment on the third floor in a building too old to have an elevator. I don’t like leather or velvet sofas. So I want a large loveseat/small sofa (“apartment sofa”), fabric, in a somewhat modern style (no nailheads, no buttons on the cushions, square arms), between 65" and 75" wide, 36" or less in the other 2 dimensions, that’ll still be comfortable enough to nap on.
As far as I can tell, no Ikea sofa fits all of these criteria, so that’s out.
First I ordered a wonderful loveseat from a pretty fancy store (West Elm). Got to sit on a couch in the same series and liked it, picked out the fabric from the large hangings on the wall, was told “4 to 6 weeks” since they don’t keep the loveseats in stock like they do the larger sofas. Fine. A month later, I get an email that it’ll be delayed until June. I’m in Europe in June, and that’s ridicuous for the amount I’m spending! So I cancel my order.
Then I order a nice looking apartment sofa from Wayfair. Don’t get to sit on it or see the fabric ahead of time, but looks good, and heavy enough that they’ll actually bring it up the stairs for an extra fee. Two days before it comes in, I get told it was heavily damaged in transit, and the next time they can ship it is late April. I’m in Florida in late April. Cancel again.
Now I have a decent-looking order in through Overstock. They may or may not bring it up the stairs, but maybe I’ll get my super or my neighbor’s kids to help, and hey, it’ll arrive tomorrow. I check the UPS shipping, and…
“Your package was not received at the UPS facility as originally scheduled. This may cause a delay.”
As of Tuesday. No updates since.
BLAME BLAME BLAME, GOAT, GET ME A COUCH.
/image goat couch
@Kawa I think the comfort criteria rules them out. Many of their offerings are on the firmer side.
@Kawa Meh. I’ll just eat it anyway…
@shahnm … and then pass the blame on.
@Kawa That is truly goat-worthy blame. Hell, I’ll blame @shahnm just from reading about it. And I don’t even need a sofa.
@shahnm I had to replace my car battery yesterday again. Even though the old one had a 5-year warranty and was purchased in late December, I had to pay full-price for the new one because I had gotten a prorated discount on the last one and apparently the warranty applied to the purchase date of the 1st battery. This is the 3rd time I’ve had to get a new battery for my car in the ~7.5 years I’ve owned it.
The alternator is ok; i had it tested.
@msklzannie That happened to me last time too – so no more buying them at Sears.
Walmart used to reset the clock on replacements, but I don’t know about these days.
@msklzannie Have you tried storing your car battery in the fridge when it’s not in use? You haven’t have you…? Of course not. Well don’t come crying to me if you’re not willing to even do the basics…
@msklzannie @shahnm Of course not! … because flooded cell lead acid performs worse when it’s cold versus when it’s warm.
@msklzannie @narfcake You’re no longer making any sense at all. What is the meaning of this nonsense?!?
@shahnm
/google does a car battery perform worse in the cold weather?
How does cold weather affect your car battery | The NRMA
https://www.mynrma.com.au/cars-and-driving/roadside-assistance/car-batteries/resources/how-does-cold-weather-effect-your-car-battery
@narfcake Don’t confuse me with data!!
@narfcake Walmart was where I’d gotten them.
@shahmm No need to store it in the fridge; I live in Iowa and I don’t think there’s been a night yet (or many days) with above-fridge temps (34-38F).
@msklzannie @narfcake Ah. That’s the problem then. You need to move somewhere colder. That will fix everything. Promise.
If I’m wrong, you can blame me.
GoaT Unblame for great cheap birthday present: I snapped up one of the (2015) 16GB blue Kindle Fire 7’s on wOOt last night for $20. The kid will love having a new one on his birthday, since his bit the dust.
@mfladd Yes, but the kid (heh heh heh) will get into your account details and charge up thousands of dollars in app purchases. Then you’ll need me again. I’ll be waiting.
@shahnm Ha! I always block in-app purchases and make any app that is not free password protected. They have had past ones w/o incidence.
But I know as an evil GoaT you are hoping this will happen just so I will come back and blame you!
@mfladd Kids (heh heh heh) can be quite resourceful when it comes to causing trouble…
So yesterday I get an email from the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society that they are shutting down the (non-hodgkin’s lymphoma, the others are up and running) copay program due to a pharma sending 1/2 the money they were expecting and those of us who have not yet sent in our bills lose our $2500 we have been awarded (their website gives detailed information about this and I talked with them and there are no loopholes). I had not yet send in my (paid - they reimburse us) bills. I had been planning to use that money to pay for health insurance this summer. If I lose my heath insurance this summer then I can’t get it back until January. My next cancer visit is late May. Better be told no treatment right now because if I have no health insurance I won’t be able to do that anyway. FUCK FUCK FUCK. And then some more fuck. And the vet bills (three 17 year old cats one whom I pay $230+ a month for her meds plus vet visits, the other two are about $40/mo in meds). And I have only a month and a half left of this job. All your fucking fault. Please sell all your batteries and fridge and donate the proceeds to the cause. That is the only way I will unblame you.
@Kidsandliz I can’t snark this post. My heart goes out to you, and I truly hope you find some way to catch a break!!
@shahnm Thanks. There are a number of us who got screwed by this. I am just so tried of bad things happening. I’d drop my VMP but meh has been the source of the gazillion presents we exchange every year and because of what I have gotten here it has saved me a ton of money. All those fidget spinners for $20 - how else can you give presents (birthday and christmas) to 20 people (not counting the 3 littles or my mom) for that and have them have no clue how little you spent.
@Kidsandliz Oh, man, this is awful. I hope something happens to turn this around, and soon.
@lisaviolet Yeah so do I but it doesn’t seem very promising.
You are officially UNBLAMED.
@Kawa
@Kawa Was it a design choice to have one wooden wall and an all white floor? And I don’t mean to meddle, but I think you might have installed your new couch incorrectly. Plus your area rugs are way too small for that space.
Unblame: My son has found the wonderous joy of Plants vs Zombies Garden Warfare 2 Multiplayer Online on the XBOX.
Blame: My son has found the wonderous joy of Plants vs Zombies Garden Warfare 2 Multiplayer Online on the XBOX.
Note: Intersting find as a newbie. Usually multiplayer online action requires XBOX Live Gold membership. But if you subscribe to EA Access for only $30 yr you get free access to a lot of great games, as well as online multiplayer action WITHOUT having to subscribe to Gold. Way cheaper!
cc: @ruouttaurmind
@mfladd Very glad to hear he’s enjoying the new console! I’ll check into the EA thingy and see which games are offered. TY!
@ruouttaurmind
https://www.ea.com/ea-access
@shahnm Unblame. A friend on facebook posted this. CALLING @carl669 But you need to zoom in. A lot. Not sure how many this will add to the count but it should take care of at least today’s needs
@Kidsandliz I am absolutely changing that to my desktop background at work. I don’t intend to tell anyone what’ really going on, but just knowing will please me…
@shahnm yeah but doing that it will be blown up and potentially readable.
@Kidsandliz disqualified! all fucks should be easily readable.
@carl669
Fucker.
@carl669 @Kidsandliz I don’t give a fuck.
@Kidsandliz It won’t get magnified if you tile it instead of expanding it to fit.
@f00l @shahnm both your comments qualify
@carl669 @f00l @shahnm But if it needs to be safe for work then you need to shrink it down. Also @carl669 if we could shrink you down to 144 scale then it would be very readable. Thus, logically, it counts.
Was woken up some minutes ago by a 3.4 earthquake. Did you have something to do with this?
I do owe you a bunch of unblames for the multiple sub-$1 shirt.woot and TeeTurtle finds this past weekend, of which only one was a mutant Anvil that I already cut into another tote bag.
Still haven’t fallen back asleep yet. Blame!
@narfcake Yes. But I am unwilling to answer any follow up questions about this. You know too much already.
@narfcake
…
@PlacidPenguin Dot Dot Dot?
@narfcake
Exactly.
Blame, Blame, Blame!!! For Netflix and XBOX!!!
@mfladd ?
@RiotDemon My life is no longer my own
@mfladd
/giphy What good is life?
@mfladd ???
/giphy confused goat
@shahnm Both are new to me. Both have taken over my life at the moment. Netflix is a geekers paradise, PvsZ GW2 online mode is just too fucking fun (though at this point I am mostly kill bait for 12 yo’s). Just accept the blame, and shoot me - shoot me now.
And it has a Zombie GoaT!
@mfladd add Altered Carbon to your Netflix queue immediately.
@RiotDemon Hehe…already binged it
Thanks.
@mfladd smart man.
Back from the vet. We have some kitties that haven’t been to the vet since they’ve been fixed (semi-feral cats can be hard to handle). The one today was having issues with her mouth, enough that it was messing with her eating.
The vet called, said there were extractions, teeth cleaning and it was nasty under the worst part of her mouth (in the back), he wanted to send out tissue samples for biopsy. He doesn’t think it’s cancer, but he said making sure would be the best thing to do.
I said “okay”. He said she’ll be ready to go home around 4:30.
I went. They brought her out. The receptionist had to check on something with the bill. You know how you try to act like something’s not a big deal, that it’s nothing, nada, all cool?
When she told me the amount due, I almost choked trying to be cool. Almost eight hundred bucks. I just hand over the credit card, smile and nod. It’s all good.
Fuck. Dental work is usually around $500. There’s the x-ray, the anesthesia, the pre-surgical blood panel…
Oh, well, she was last seen for her spay, back in the spring of 2004, so I guess I shouldn’t squawk. And she should feel a LOT better.
I blame the goat that those tissue samples cost almost $300. I unblame the goat because I was so fucking cool about the whole thing. And that she came through it without any problems.
@lisaviolet You’re a good and responsible cat momma. So sayeth the goat.
+1 Karma points…
@lisaviolet Yikes!!! Hope that kitty of yours is good to go for years again. What is she - about 15? That is pretty good for a cat that old to have this her first vet need. I have 3 that are 17 (plus 2 more).
I have one that needs dental work… no one does it in town here. That price makes me very afraid (I hadn’t priced it out yet - have to travel 180 miles to get it done and since she doesn’t appear to be in pain, is eating, no infection… I had been procrastinating due to other vet bills). Between that and nearly $260/mo just for regular meds for three I don’t even want to think about it.
Then there has been the cat nearly died set of visits, parasites, urinary infection, ring worm that was missed until it was a big mess and now isn’t going away (incompetent vet who is the one who nearly killed my cat - no longer use that practice, this town only has 2)…I am afraid to add up all the vet bills in the last 6 months. Very afraid (some are still parked on my credit card). Can you win the lottery if you don’t buy any tickets? LOL.
@Kidsandliz @lisaviolet
+5 Karma points, plus 3x bonus for taking care of the elderly and sick ones…
I don’t think you can trade those points for anything, but they’re kinda shiny, which is nice.
@lisaviolet @shahnm Except we do it because we love them… no need for bonus or karma points. : )
@Kidsandliz @lisaviolet @shahnm Even so, when someone offers you points - take the points!
@Kidsandliz @lisaviolet That’s why you get the points.
@Kidsandliz She’s fourteen. Born on April 4, 2004. Her mom’s next litter (feral) was born on August 3, 2004.
We trapped mom and babies on September 11, 2004 and mom was taken directly to the vet’s office (it was a Sunday) and they spay her and she lived with us until her end (kidneys).
Here’s a picture of her and her siblings eating under the car. Around six/eight weeks of age, I was able to grab them one at a time and bring them inside. There were five in that first litter, we kept two, the little black guy you see here (Ross) and the tortie (Rachel). The calicos went to a rescue organization. We still wish we wouldn’t have done that. We kept all the kittens from the second litter.
Blame! What happened to @jbartus?! Where the hell is he? What did you do to him?!
@mfladd Did you check @shahnm’s fridge? He keeps all sorts of weird things in there.
@Kidsandliz @mfladd Very few cadavers these days, though…
@mfladd @shahnm OMG you entombed him in there ALIVE???!!!
@Kidsandliz @mfladd Initially.
@mfladd @shahnm And then…???
@Kidsandliz @mfladd You know… Yada yada. Anyway, things are pretty quiet now.
@mfladd @shahnm Do you need a shovel? Some cement blocks? Rope? Large garbage bag? Peanuts and popcorn?
@Kidsandliz @mfladd Can you get me some peanuts and popcorn? Hey wait just a second - are you planning on regifting me one of those Edible Arrangements elderly-snack boxes?
@mfladd While we’re out looking for missing mehmbers: where’s @therealjrn?
@mfladd @narfcake @therealjrn Here we go again…
@mfladd @narfcake @shahnm I’m here, I’ve been feeling poorly.
@therealjrn
Under the weather?
@shahnm Have an unblame.
@narfcake @shahnm It’s been a tough year for me.
@narfcake @shahnm @therealjrn @mfladd
Meh is looking for mehmbers now? Because I have a few names of people who need finding…
@TheGreatHambino!!!
@therealjrn Blessings and Salutations to you. Wishing you the gift of good health. So mote it be.
@mfladd
@jbartus @shahnm Phew! Glad to hear all is well
@mfladd all is going swimmingly. Just busy at hell with work. More projects than I have time for or know what to do with. Is this what they call job security?
@jbartus @mfladd Depends on whether or not you get overtime. If you do not then I believe it is a version of slavery.
@Kidsandliz @mfladd nobody’s holding a gun to my head or anything. Just getting the job done as it needs and filing away a list of everything I’ve been involved with for my next salary negotiation.
@shahnm Your fucking fault just in case you missed it on the Friday the 13th thread
https://meh.com/forum/topics/happy-friday-the-thirteenth#5ad129e5cb80a304c01eafba
@Kidsandliz I replied to you in that thread (and accepted my blame, to boot). I imagine your not seeing that is my fault too…?
@shahnm well of course. Just saw it now.
But I will give you an unblame. I was driving home (after getting my car fixed) on the one lane each direction highway and there was an asshat woman on a small motorbike going just under 30 mph (speed limit 60 most people were going 10 over). Fortunately the folks jamming on their brakes ahead of me gave me plenty of time to slow down and no one rear ended me.
@Kidsandliz Plus, I was not that asshat woman. At least, not that you can prove…
Blame!!! I spent the last 5 days in Va Beach and Richmond for work. I was going to leave Sat. morning to make it back for my sons opening little league game. Fri. night I talked to him and he asked about me making it to the parade. Oh shit - forgot about that. I said I wouldn’t be able to make it. He said, “but daddy, I really want you there, if you leave at 4 you can make it back by 8am.” Ugh. I slept an 1.5 hours and then started the 4 hr ride home. Between the parade, opening ceremonies, baseball photo pics, my daughter’s lacrosse and son baseball games - I am still up and too exhausted to sleep
Tired Blame!!!
@mfladd
Tough on the sleep.
But I say, No Blame.
Instead, Reward!
@mfladd
/image good daddy award
@mfladd Props of all kinds for being the kind of dad that makes the rest of us look irreparably bad in comparison…
Asshole.
@shahnm Chocolate jimmies or rainbow sprinkles? (You’re going to get blamed either way, so might as well put this in the right thread.)
@dashcloud
/giphy No!
No jimmies. No no no. What the hell is wrong with you?!
@shahnm
@dashcloud @shahnm Ignoring the jimmies vs sprinkles aspect, the proper answer is chocolate because there’s at least a chance it’s not chock full of artificial ingredients like rainbow color.
@dashcloud @narfcake But. BUT… BUT JIMMIES AREN’T FOOD!!
/giphy horrifying
I could use a new mattress, and I was prepared to spend my tax refund on it.
Unblame because I spent catshirt money instead. Because the outer shrink wrap was damaged, Ikea can’t sell it as new.
Cost and number of unblames:
You rolled a total of 45
/roll 4d20
@narfcake
/giphy I’m free!
@shahnm You know the month is only half over …
BTW, that dice roll is accurate.
I probably overspent on this mutant Anvil (because Woot) with a DTG print that’s wearing out (because Woot) – but catshirt! Because Woot.
Unblames for the price:
You rolled a total of 2
You rolled a total of 10
You rolled a total of 5
You rolled a total of 18
/roll 1d6
Unblames for catshirtswoot:
/roll 2d6
Unblames for being the first @ACraigL shirt I ran across second hand:
/roll 3d6
Blames for wasting a dollar on a crappy mutant Anvil that is actually a men’s shirt with normal (lots of) shrinkage and will probably end up being cut into a tank or a tote bag to go along with the dozens of other crappy mutant Anvils that have been cut into a tank or a tote bag already:
/roll 4d6
/wootstalker https://shirt.woot.com/offers/inevitability
Inevitability
Price: $19.00
Condition: Probably New
@narfcake Thanks for posting. Always weird to see my stuff outside of the Woot realm. Probably a BOC donation, but still. Oddly, it’s not even my best seller (it’s the 7th best).
@ACraigL Between the DTG print wear and the shrinkage, I’m thinking it’s just typical “it’s an old shirt” donation.
At least whoever originally purchased it enjoyed it for the year. My fastest debut-to-thrift-store-find was 3 weeks. Yes, it was a mutant Anvil. No, I don’t think whoever bought it originally was going to buy from shirt.woot again.
@ACraigL @narfcake I like that shirt!!
@ACraigL @Kidsandliz
I’m pretty sure that @shahnm is to blame for meh turning into a drug dealer. meh could have sold WAY more batteries if a certain GoaT hadn’t tipped everybody off re: preservation methods.
@therealjrn I think the goat plans to have fossilized batteries buried in the fridge so that in 3000 years someone can dig it up and speculate why on gods green earth people ate whatever chemicals batteries eventually break down into.
@Kidsandliz @therealjrn If you keep the fridge plugged in and working for those 3000 years, the batteries will not break down. In fact, they’ll be as fresh as ever. We’ve been over this…
@shahnm @therealjrn
One word:
Obsolescence
@Kidsandliz @therealjrn Never. Batteries are forever!!!
@Kidsandliz @shahnm @therealjrn
/youtube diamonds are forever
@f00l @Kidsandliz @shahnm @therealjrn
Why not both?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diamond_battery
@f00l @Kidsandliz @therealjrn
So… If diamonds are forever…, and batteries are forever…, then it stands to reason… that batteries are diamonds…?
@f00l @Kidsandliz @therealjrn I just read @narfcake’s Wikipedia reference. Guess batteries are not so much diamonds, but diamonds are kinda batteries. Whaddya know…?
/giphy the more you know
@f00l @shahnm @therealjrn I’m a little late responding here, but apparently in this state shotguns means
batteriesdiamonds. Buy a shotgun and it apparently gives birth to a diamond ring if the billboard in town is to be believed (there is a much older thread on that somewhere around here - billboard is still up)Just because I’ve grown really fond of @shahnm, I thought I’d offer up a new mode of travel for the goat incarnation.
@Shrdlu Well thanks! For the record, I tend to think of my goat sack a little differently, but this certainly is a bit thought provoking…
Unblame: Deadpool 2 tickets are now on sale!
@mfladd
Which showing are we going to?
I suppose I should be concerned that according to my bank I am not an authorized user of an account which is in my name, and thus, cannot sign a letter to affirm its status as being active (and thus prevent it from going to the state).
But yeah, have some blames.
/roll 5d6
You rolled a total of 18
@PlacidPenguin Definite blame on that one.
Also, how does a penguin hold a writing utensil?
@narfcake
I don’t understand your question.
Ended up solving the issue, but going to the bank and taking care of it there took quite some time.
@PlacidPenguin Ugh. I hate going down there. All those little self-important wankers. If they would be consistent and give me the same answer twice in a row, I wouldn’t mind so much.
@PlacidPenguin Umm. I’m sorry. And, for @therealjrn: I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
@PlacidPenguin @therealjrn
Not at every bank.
But you aren’t in Texas. So sorry to hear.
(They have no IVR’s. A human answers every call during business hours. No one is transferred to voicemail unless the person has given permission for that.)
https://thefinancialbrand.com/14141/frost-bank-core-values-manifesto-microsite/
I like these guys.
One of their more tongue in cheek TV advertisements indicates “no bank branches in Oklahoma.”
Yeah I bet they keep their stored batteries nice and cold also.
@f00l @PlacidPenguin @therealjrn You put that last line in there just to get me to star your post. Ok. I’m a sucker…
I was listening to an audible book on my Amazon Tap. Here’s how my conversation went:
me: stop
Alexa: I’m still learning about goat questions. Try asking “tell me a goat fact” to learn more about them.
me: stop
Alexa: The lion is a species in the family Felidae and a member of the genus Panthera.
Alexa and giphy should get married and have kids.
@sammydog01 Was that how /captionbot was born?
/image Alexa and Giphy
Blame for the pic being out of focus, but as for the finds themselves, I haven’t decided whether these should be a blame or unblame.
All were on AA, so they weren’t knockoffs. I’m guessing it was from two separate donations, as one was put out on a different week; the Goodwill stores here use different colored tags to note how long something has been out on the racks/shelves.
@narfcake This seems like a harbinger of something or other. Be blasé. Be very blasé.
@shahnm Well the Mediocre Labs shirt from @x68799’s Fuko got here already (in two days!) and it arrived WITHOUT a cat, so it’ll be unblames.
You rolled a total of 18
/roll 4d20
@narfcake @shahnm This appears to be evidence of the repercussions of “it seemed like a good idea at the time”.
@mfladd Two were worn a good amount; the third one, not as much.
The only shirt from here that I wear with some sort of regularity is the Mediocre Labs shirt.
@narfcake And that remains to be the one shirt that I really, really, really want! The one that would make me smile. @dave has previously asked for what we would like to be sold. This item has been continually mentioned. I don’t understand why this item has such a unicorn status to the powers that slightly be.
I want my fucking Golden Ticket (flask shirt)!!!
Unblame. My cousin successfully had a softball sized brain tumor removed and it was benign. It’s going to be a long road in rehab though.
@Kidsandliz Softball size?!? OY! That’s scary!
@narfcake Yeah he nearly died. If a neighbor hadn’t found him he would have. Makes a lot of other problems look small in comparison.
@Kidsandliz Wow!
Gah!!!
Was expecting more penguin stuff this week, but there was a processing issue.
@PlacidPenguin Here are some extra penguins, if it helps…
@shahnm
I’m trying to take slow and steady breaths to contain myself, but it’s not working.
I blame you.
@PlacidPenguin I’m off duty.
So next door to me two guys who haul boats for a living moved in. Like a week and a half ago. So far, in trying to fit their big ass work trucks (that are longer than any car or regular truck by about 5 or 6 feet) into a normal car sized parking lot where there is one row to park cars head in style and one row to drive in they have:
hit their apt door and scraped it up and dented it (they live next to me and my door is like 2 feet way from theirs - good thing they hit theirs and not mine as I am sure this slumlord would blame me somehow)
hit the corner of the building (I live on the corner) and busted out a bunch of bricks (lucky for me that SO FAR I don’t have any dents on my car in the right place that then might make the landlord able to blame me for backing into it)
and HIT MY CAR and never left a note - just drove the fuck off. Seeing as I park in the back of the parking lot, in front of where they hit the house, it was lucky I had already left for work. I pull in at a right angle to my two parking spots and parallel to the building as the trees drip sap and drop branches. My car isn’t even as long as my two spots are wide, and there is even more extra space because the property line fence is back even further, the back of my car doesn’t even reach where my door is (in face barely reaches the kitchen window which is between my door and the side of the building - I live in the end unit) and the smashed in part is roughly (need to measure when they come back) the height of the thing hanging off the back of their industrial sized truck to attach the big ass trailer they pull (not a normal 2" trailer hitch - some big round thing) and the scrape is the same color as that, and it happened over night and they left over night - unlikely to be anyone else other than them as they are the only ones that park in front of their place and until they moved in those 2 parking spots were never used by anyone… My car is 13 years old and I am reasonably sure if I report it they will just total it out.
Calling the landlord today. Hope they get evicted.
Oh yeah and the same morning I woke up to that I saw there was a ding in my windshield with a 14" crack that wasn’t there when I parked my car that night. And no new tree branches on the ground…Can’t figure out how to blame that on them unless the height of the flat rod things they had hanging over the back of the truck was the same height as my windshield. When they come back next I am measuring the height of the rack thing on the back to see if it matches. If it wasn’t them I have no clue how I got a small hole style ding with a big ass crack radiating from it in two directions.
Did I mention that in January up north in the snow belt when I was driving down a snowy highway mom and I watched a fixed ding turn into a crack the length of the windshield (temp differential of the heat and cold windshield likely responsible) so I JUST REPLACED IT less than 4 months ago at the cost of two hundred and fucking fifty dollars (insurance deductible for those is not once a year it is each time and independent of the regular deductible). And the place I am required to use is 3 hours away as there isn’t one in this entire fucking state. Your fault for that too.
I am not going to even have a functioning car if this continues. They have been here roughly a week and a half and look what they have done so far. And they asked me if they could share my internet if they paid half, which I had agreed to before they fucking backed into my car.
And, although I now only have 14 days left of my job, my lease isn’t up until the end of July so I can’t move out before then so they will have plenty of time to back into my car again. There is no on street parking and parking places are assigned so I have no choice on where to park. Oh yeah. That is your fault too goat (job and lease and whatever else I have forgotten to include). Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. There I have done my job for the month adding to the fuck count.
PS and they also lock their truck with the horn doing that beep thing. Did I mention they come in at hours like 1:45am, 3am… and my bedroom is on the parking lot side of this building?
@Kidsandliz Wow. Again…
You seem to have been goated by the universe. I hope your month (or year) of existential goatdom comes to an end soon!
So sorry for all of your troubles.
@Kidsandliz
Take pics. Lots of pics. And file a report for a hit-and-run, since that’s exactly what they did.
You landlord should file too, since they damaged the building.
So the state is auditing my deductions for 2016 (they come to a lot when you pay your health insurance premiums in full because you didn’t make enough money for a subsidy, lived in a state that didn’t expand medicaid and have cancer…) AND they claimed I only documented a bit over $5000 of them. Umm how would that be? I included all canceled checks, a statement from blue cross that I paid over $11,000 for premiums… WHF? I also gave them my new address and they, instead, sent this letter and another one to my old address that I only just got a month later (yesterday) and so now have missed their deadline to send the same crap in again (am sending it again anyway with an explanation). The other letter said they needed my W2. Umm I used turbo tax and it is included in what gets filed electronically… I have no idea how the hell to straighten this out if they aren’t accepting cancelled checks, letters from blue cross, etc.