@narfcake I’ve been through enough of them in my younger days when Los Angeles actually seemed like a fun place to live. I will never. Ever. Get used to them.
@Pony Well bolt furniture to the walls and be careful where you put your fragile stuff. A cousin, some friends, a niece all live in CA and I was at my friend’s sister’s house in a high rise in San Francisco years ago when there was an earthquake. The building started to sway (she was on like the 30th+ floor) and she and her sister ran to doorways. I just stood there. Automatic response for them. When my friend came to visit me in Illinois I lived a couple of blocks from the railroad tracks and the ground would shake when freight trains (especially ones full of coal) would come buy. The first time that happened she had an earthquake response.
@moonhat I’ve worked many weddings as a DJ and was frequently asked to help pour before the toast, so I’ve opened dozens and dozens of champagne bottles with nearly a 100% casualty free record.
Standing on a ladder that’s taller than I am, vs waking up covered by a million creepy crawlies? I think I’ll take the ladder, but don’t expect me to be happy about it.
Wait a minute. What about failing to escape a millions spiders by climbing up a ladder in the dark, and then having to explain yourself to the crowd that gathered after the lights came back on?
@jadesabrexiv Ugh. Been having issues with one tooth lately. Thought it would be fixed with a root canal yesterday only to find out it has two vertical fractures and can’t be saved. I DREAD the thought of pulling it, not only for the blood and time to heal but the associated cost if I want to get an implant. My stomach was in knots sitting in that chair hoping not to hear that bad news. The root canal itself would’ve been fine. The alternative just sucks.
@awk One of my sisters loves spiders, and as we grew in an area with no venomous varieties, she had no problems when playing with them. As a result, she learned how to coax some breeds into constructing webs between her outstretched hands. She’d even use the webs to catch insects for the spiders before carefully relocating them, web and all, to one the trees outside.
Scorpions. They’re all over Phoenix. They come out at night, can walk on the bottom of the pool in the water and sting you, and hard to get rid of cause the moms carry 100’s on her back for every one you kill. A sting is like a hot needle going into your skin slowly. Not fun. Scary.
@Aznatural1 I’m damn glad scorpions aren’t abundant where I live.
I have grabbed a black widow spider on one occasion, and stuck my hands in their webs more than once. Never forget that feeling, they build shitty webs but they are made of the toughest silk. Thankfully I’ve never been bitten, but it seems that one makes its home in my pool skimmer at least once a year so I get to keep making their acquaintance (and contaminating my pool with half a can of Raid).
@Aznatural1 As we were just discussing scorpions in another thread, now I’m wondering if you use a black light flashlight when walking around at night?
… the possibility that someday I will give in to my desire to destroy others for no real reason. Example: I stood at the edge of the Grand Canyon, looking down a steep drop, with only a knee-high barrier as defense, and fought the urge to shove a random stranger over the wall. It got really tough when a pod of high school kids started discussing a nagging desire to jump, checked only by knowledge of the consequences. A different set of consequences stayed my hand, even as they switched to petty and cruel classroom gossip.
@simplersimon For no real reason or to see what would happen? I’m often filled with the desire to do things I know I shouldn’t because I want to see the results. I’m lucky I’m not just a little more curious, because it already borders on a compulsion sometimes.
@Seeds I used to claim it was the curiosity, but really, I know what would happen, generally speaking. Some of the things are even setting up for disasters I won’t witness.
And it’s not just people who annoy me. Don’t get me wrong, I want to assault jerks more than people who have done nothing wrong, but it’s not revenge fantasies. I just feel an urge to destroy them, purely for the destruction’s sake. Forcing a car into oncoming traffic, burning certain poorly designed buildings, bashing the person in line ahead of me with one of the stanchions—whatever it is, it just gnaws at the back of my mind.
@simplersimon When my mom was getting a recheck after her breast cancer surgery, the doctor got really close to her face (she was sitting down, he was in front of her) and I had to bite back the giggles, because I wanted to see her lick his face.
I’m emetophobic. Vomit can cause a full blown anxiety attack. The situation doesn’t matter. It’s completely irrational yet I still fear it more than scorpions, sink holes, or any other serious thing.
@shahnm It would be much worse if I was trapped in a sinkhole with someone who was throwing up because they had eaten scorpions… Or trapped in a sinkhole with someone throwing up scorpions. Great, now I have a new irrational fear.
@cinoclav So I’m told. Somehow I made it through 2.5 years of rough chemo with my fear intact. The only reason I’m able to deal with a camper throwing up (I volunteer with a camp for kids with cancer) is because the other kids aren’t phased by it at all… And by constantly repeating to myself that I’m the adult and need to keep it together.
@cinoclav@primrosewater have you ever thrown up yourself? For me, I generally consider it kind of a fun relief, if I’m experiencing nausea, where it would be appropriate. Just kind of takes the edge off for a bit. As long as you can brush your teeth, I guess.
Sorry, what I meant was, I’ve heard most phobias are diminished by repeat exposure, but I’m wondering if some of them might not be more self-reinforcing if they’re negative experiences. But then I’m thinking “well, vomiting isn’t a negative experience… errr.”
@InnocuousFarmer Sure have. I don’t know when the fear started, but even in elementary school if someone threw up I was out of there… I was the teacher finder. I then had chemotherapy fourth through sixth grade. Threw up a lot. Was around a lot of people puking. Still didn’t get used to it. College… Legitimately my biggest worry about going to college was being around people drinking and puking. Most of my freshman floor got the flu. It wasn’t pretty and it did nothing to help the phobia. I really don’t know how to help it.
I try to make deals with people in situations where cleaning up bodily fluids might be a thing. I’ll cover blood, pee, and poop (which can be bad) if they cover the vomit.
On a serious note, as a kid I had a profound fear of nuclear holocaust. I’d wake up in a cold sweat when I heard a plane go by overhead, certain that everything I knew and loved was imminently going to be destroyed. Growing up during the cold war, there was an ever present sense of mutual destruction at the fingertips of men with little moral restraint.
Later, as a teen, I had a terror of serial killers. Not killing me. I had a persistent feeling that I would come home from being out hanging with my friends and find my family butchered. My imagination provided very detailed and graphic expectations while I stood in the wee hours of the morning frozen, unable to turn my key in the lock. More than once I simply had to leave, go to an all night diner and wait for sunrise before going home. The daylight didn’t fully dispel the phobia, but made it manageable.
@moondrake I’ve experienced the fear of finding my family murdered, too. Having people I love die unexpectedly is probably what I’m most afraid of other than my irrational emetophobia. I’m a childhood cancer survivor so I kind of got used to having my friends die… when I knew it was coming. Last year a friend committed suicide and it was an entirely new experience for me. The anniversary of her death is tomorrow and I’m still working on acceptance. This is something I’ve never had to work on before.
@primrosewater Yeah suicide brings it to an entirely new level (I have 2 major cancers I have likely been cured of and one that is incurable but with a longer life - glad you survived yours, hope you don’t ever have to go through that again). My brother was murdered by his wife when we were both in our young/mid 20’s and for years we though it was suicide, my father died of assisted suicide some years later, likely made easier for him to make that choice because of my brother. It is definitely a hard way to lose someone because of all the other issues surrounding it. And the unwillingness of many people to even give support to people grieving because of this kind of death.
The other thing I found is that in order to come to terms with someone dying by this kind of death is that you find you are now having to reject suicide as a choice, just like any other choice, in a way that you didn’t have to do before. A barrier is gone (and for a long time I was angry about that). And it is much harder to get to the point where you can stop thinking about it every single day. The issues surrounding a person dying this way is so much more complicated. Probably took me the better part of 2 years with my brother to be able to really function normally again. One of the hardest things I ever did was to have to give permission for my father to do this (It was, and still is, illegal in the state he died in; he was in a catholic facility so I am surprised they were willing to do this).
The other thing I found is that this is a kind of death that people often don’t want to talk about and so your grief is discounted. As a result you don’t get the support that folks get when someone dies by other means. Take care. This is a tough kind of death to come to terms with. And send a note to your friend’s parents. That will mean so much to them as they are likely feeling very isolated and not getting the kind of support they need either. To know that someone is remembering their daughter with love, remembering (and put this in the letter) the funny, quirky, sweet, kind… things things she did will bring back memories that, while being bitter sweet, will mean so much to them.
@Kidsandliz@primrosewater Good advice. Anniversaries of deaths are always hard. When it is an especially difficult death, like suicide, it makes the anniversary even worse. sending them a card or a note, an email, text or whatever is a great idea. It will do them a world of good. It doesn’t matter what you say or how you say it, just the fact that you made the effort will do wonders for them. As for yourself, be kind to yourself also. There is no correct way to grieve. Just let it happen. I am so sorry for the death of your friend.
@Kidsandliz I’m so sorry about your brother. I can’t even begin to imagine dealing with a suicide only to later find out it was a murder… A nightmare that won’t end. My friend had had issues in the past so I wasn’t too surprised, but she had a lot of very positive things going on (two plays on stage, etc). I just want expecting it last year. My biggest problem with how people react to suicide is by immediately calling it “selfish.” It seems to no longer matter how selfless the person had been in life. (My friend literally brought homeless people to our college dining hall one time because she had befriended them that day and wanted to make sure they had a good meal. She was not self absorbed at all).
Facebook, evil as it may be, has been good for staying in touch with my friend’s mom. She friended a bunch of us (college friend group) after the funeral and I think it helps her to be connected to her daughter’s friends. We can comment on photos, memories, whatever. There’s a gravestone unveiling this weekend, but I can’t attend the ceremony. I think I’m going to write her family a note after that.
I find it likely that you understand where your father was coming from. I was praying for death before I was diagnosed with cancer (it almost killed me, apparently it was very surprising I was still alive) because I was in so much pain. There is no doubt in my mind that assisted suicide is sometimes the best/most humane route to take. I hope you have come to terms with that situation.
I also wish you the best of luck with your medical issues. I’m not naive enough to say something like"feel better." I hope you have more good days than bad days. Thanks for your well wishes. Having another cancer is on my list of fears, but with my family history I’m just assuming that day will come and I’ll deal with it when I have too.
@Kidsandliz It went okay. I had a busy day at work so I didn’t have much time to think. I held it together until a certain song came on the radio during my drive home, but that’s been happening all year.
And of course I’m crying now. Thank you so much for checking up on me. I’m usually the one who sucks it up and comforts others so I can’t tell you how much your concern means to me.
Weird, I have absolutely no fear of public speaking. None. I have terrible anxiety about the quality of my work, but I’ve presented (tech talk, Powerpoint) on stage to five thousand Sony engineers at once and it was nothing.
My wife thinks it was because I used to deal with well-known folks in the music business and realized everyone is just another person, but I think it’s a way to hide. Speaking one on one to me is far more difficult that one on ten thousand.
@droopus I do pretty well with social anxiety in general—only starts to get uncomfortable when I feel too… examined.
I think a speech would be kind of a middle ground. Everyone is paying attention, but there’s zero risk of invasive probing from someone else. What they see is what you put in front of them, from a safe distance.
Tornados. Had one touch down (technically it started as a water spout) in my backyard (in the greater Norfolk, VA area), engulfing my house in a lightening ball (while I was inside and fortunately the house didn’t blow apart; the cats were permanently traumatized over thunderstorms; neighbor said the house just vanished in an opaque light - I couldn’t see out the windows for the same reason). Thank you for lightening rods.
Years later I lived in tornado alley and the first one that tore apart Moore, OK was only 5 miles from where I lived. Seeing foundations swept clean was traumatic - fortunately is was 90 minutes on the ground so lots of warning and no one got killed. Later there was one (after I moved from there) in OK that went 4 houses from where I had lived, were the map someone uploaded with it’s path to be believed. I didn’t realize how on edge I was each time there was a storm until I moved to Idaho where there is even rarely a thunderstorm. Then I moved to Mississippi and one blew through just blocks from where I lived - I saw it from the car window over my shoulder. Scary as shit as no place to run to. In retrospect wish I had taken a photo. Wasn’t thinking of that then. Went a block north of me.
Snakes! Big snakes, little snakes, dead snakes, pictures of snakes, rubber snakes, sticks that look like snakes. I can’t even touch a picture of a snake. When I filed for divorce after 25 years of hell, my ex sneaked a snake in our house thinking I wouldn’t want the house. He’s a snake of the worst kind.
@tngrannyd I’m sorry that happened to you. I had an incredible fear of snakes when I was young. I think there is a very hot place for your ex and it’s populated with enormous snakes.
@Joy823 Thank you, Joy. I can’t even describe what it was like to try to sleep in my house after that. I fear you are correct about his final destination but putting the snake in my bedroom will be the least of the reason. I believe if a snake bit him, it would crawl off and die.
@PolkSaladAnnie madness scares me more than death. A high school buddy joined the Marines, and came home early because he really snapped. The family had a history, and what he saw just triggered what was there. His parents let me come along once. To see someone so changed, so broken, it’s not easy. He was a tuba-playing class clown, but now he’s rarely lucid, and mean when he is.
@simplersimon I’m so sorry about your friend. I can’t imagine what he must be going through.
I struggle with anxiety and I have a panic disorder. I’ve really been working on getting better, but sometimes I worry about that final snap. I don’t want to completely lose myself.
My parents letting me watch Jaws as an elementary school kid ruined the water for me. Even though I knew it wasn’t possible, I was convinced that the deep end of the pool might just have some sort of connecting tunnel to a place where man-eating fresh water sharks might live. So I spent most of my time playing Space Invaders.
Claustrophobia. Small places aren’t the issue. Not being able to get out of a place on my own is the issue. Being in an MRI scanner is awful. The inside is smooth. You cannot get out unless the tech comes and gets you. Even funnier? I have a heart issue that requires one at least once a year! Thank G_d for Ativan!!!
@jelliott04 Literally just had a conversation about this with my patient 10 minutes ago. (I’m a Nuclear Medicine Technologist.) Curious, did you ever have an incident when you were younger that scarred you? Older sibling that used to lock you in a closet kind of thing?
@cinoclav None that I can recall. There was an incident when I was maybe 10 or 12. I was hiding in a drainpipe during a snowball fight. It was big enough for me to sit up straight in. My “friends” buried me inside. I dug myself out and went home rather upset about being wet and cold. I don’t recall being upset about being trapped though. In fact, I remember touring caves etc. when I was in HIgh School. The source must be later.
I survived an Aortic rupture when I was 26 in 1994. I was initially misdiagnosed and then when they began to suspect a dissection, I was rushed into a CT scanner. I don’t remember being afraid of the scanner. Afraid of dying from the rupture, yes; but not from the scan.
I do remember panicking during an MRI following one of my later surgeries to graft my aorta. It might have been my second which took place in 1995. It was just a few days after I had regained consciousness. Probably about 2 weeks post op. I distinctly remember asking the tech to “Get me the hell out of here, please!” I’ve hated MR machines since then. Perhaps that was it. In any event, I must be almost totally unconscious in order to tolerate the scanners. Unfortunately, I am not a candidate for the modified scanners; I must be stuffed inside the tube! /shudder
@jelliott04 Also a weird common occurrence. Many patients have said they’ve made it through one MRI okay but once they’ve had a second they’re done. I would love to see a study done about these occurrences. Well, glad you made it through all that and that you’re still here to hate them!
@zzzzz78759 Then don’t ever drive over the one that goes over the Chesapeake Bay from the general Hampton Roads (Virginia) area to Maryland’s Eastern Shore. It sways, it gets closed in the wind. It is very, very, very long. The bridges that go from southern FL (down 1) to Key West are nothing in comparison.
PS I have it on good authority if you lift your feet up when you go over a bridge in a car you will be safe. I learned about that when I was about 4 or 5 and so far it works (grin).
@Kidsandliz@zzzzz78759 Ha! I Just went over it, and must return over it. But it’s not as bad as the Bay Bridge that spans the ES of Md to Annapolis. That is death trap. That closes even more due to it’s height and age. It’s a death trap. Numerous cars have gone off the sides, and it is a favorite for suicides. One day they had two.
There are a lot pf people who are scared to drive this one.
@Kidsandliz Actually, I’ve been over it. My dad took us when I was younger. I was terrified the whole time. I’m also claustrophobic so I don’t like tunnels, either…
@Kidsandliz@moonhat@zzzzz78759 The one I posted the image is this one, http://www.baydreaming.com/chesapeake-bay-travel/chesapeake-bay-bridge/
Plans are in the works for a new one, but as you can imagine the cost will be high. The worst, is when they close one span (often) and they use the other span for coming and going traffic. The lanes are so narrow you can probably touch the car going by you. All it takes is a moment of distraction by one driver to really fuck things up. There are actually driving services that will drive your car over for you.
@mfladd
Sure that your fear isn’t found here?
@PlacidPenguin Hahaha…no.
@mfladd Yeah, that’s mine. That scene in Kill Bill freaks me the F out. Being trapped in any enclosed space is not fun either.
@Fuzzalini Want to be freaked out. Watch this:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096163/
@Fuzzalini @mfladd don’t watch this either.
/youtube buried movie trailer
@mfladd @RiotDemon That was awful, and I only watched 16 seconds.
@Fuzzalini
/image dr evil laugh gif
@Fuzzalini @mfladd @RiotDemon my god why would anyone make a movie about that? My chest was tight and painful just watching it. Deep breaths now…
@moonhat my work here is done.
Earthquakes. And we’re moving to California soon.
@Pony You’ll get used to them. Eventually.
@narfcake I’ve been through enough of them in my younger days when Los Angeles actually seemed like a fun place to live. I will never. Ever. Get used to them.
@Pony Well bolt furniture to the walls and be careful where you put your fragile stuff. A cousin, some friends, a niece all live in CA and I was at my friend’s sister’s house in a high rise in San Francisco years ago when there was an earthquake. The building started to sway (she was on like the 30th+ floor) and she and her sister ran to doorways. I just stood there. Automatic response for them. When my friend came to visit me in Illinois I lived a couple of blocks from the railroad tracks and the ground would shake when freight trains (especially ones full of coal) would come buy. The first time that happened she had an earthquake response.
@Pony I’ve lived here since 1968.
I’m more afraid of fire, than quakes.
Most afraid of? Not for meh.
Weirdly afraid of? Poppin Fresh cans.
@Seeds
@ruouttaurmind @Seeds opening champagne bottles!
@moonhat I’ve worked many weddings as a DJ and was frequently asked to help pour before the toast, so I’ve opened dozens and dozens of champagne bottles with nearly a 100% casualty free record.
@ruouttaurmind impressive! I just have someone else do it, and leave the room
@Seeds I used to couldn’t stay in the room with the toaster.
@ruouttaurmind lol that gif sums it up
@moonhat I’d never thought about the similarity before, but champagne bottles don’t bother me for some reason.
@moonhat @ruouttaurmind nearly?
@davechait
Goats
@rtjhnstn
/giphy goats
Myself.
/giphy spider crabs
Hmmm, spiders or heights … a tough one.
Standing on a ladder that’s taller than I am, vs waking up covered by a million creepy crawlies? I think I’ll take the ladder, but don’t expect me to be happy about it.
Wait a minute. What about failing to escape a millions spiders by climbing up a ladder in the dark, and then having to explain yourself to the crowd that gathered after the lights came back on?
Armed thugs with bad intentions.
@2many2no
@mfladd Exactly!
No good end will ever come of that.
@2many2no Governments with bad intentions.
@2many2no @phendrick But you repeat yourself…
@2many2no I think idea of wearing that body suit to a bank robbery was that no one would be able to give a description of her face to police.
Dentists.
@jadesabrexiv
/youtube be a dentist
@jadesabrexiv Ugh. Been having issues with one tooth lately. Thought it would be fixed with a root canal yesterday only to find out it has two vertical fractures and can’t be saved. I DREAD the thought of pulling it, not only for the blood and time to heal but the associated cost if I want to get an implant. My stomach was in knots sitting in that chair hoping not to hear that bad news. The root canal itself would’ve been fine. The alternative just sucks.
Pretty much everything except spiders. Spiders are great.
@awk One of my sisters loves spiders, and as we grew in an area with no venomous varieties, she had no problems when playing with them. As a result, she learned how to coax some breeds into constructing webs between her outstretched hands. She’d even use the webs to catch insects for the spiders before carefully relocating them, web and all, to one the trees outside.
@simplersimon Is this your sister per chance? And if so, can I uh, have her number?
In 2016 my biggest fear was that something which @carl669 said would stick.
And since it is no longer relevant, I’ll share the link to it.
Sinkholes: the greatest threat facing our nation
Scorpions. They’re all over Phoenix. They come out at night, can walk on the bottom of the pool in the water and sting you, and hard to get rid of cause the moms carry 100’s on her back for every one you kill. A sting is like a hot needle going into your skin slowly. Not fun. Scary.
@Aznatural1 I’m damn glad scorpions aren’t abundant where I live.
I have grabbed a black widow spider on one occasion, and stuck my hands in their webs more than once. Never forget that feeling, they build shitty webs but they are made of the toughest silk. Thankfully I’ve never been bitten, but it seems that one makes its home in my pool skimmer at least once a year so I get to keep making their acquaintance (and contaminating my pool with half a can of Raid).
@Aznatural1 As we were just discussing scorpions in another thread, now I’m wondering if you use a black light flashlight when walking around at night?
I’ve had to stare down all of the choices, so…
Still Bob from Twin Peaks, since I accidentally watched it on tv when I was home alone as a kid.
@00 oh, and I newly realized that I’m terrified of gigantic statues.
… the possibility that someday I will give in to my desire to destroy others for no real reason. Example: I stood at the edge of the Grand Canyon, looking down a steep drop, with only a knee-high barrier as defense, and fought the urge to shove a random stranger over the wall. It got really tough when a pod of high school kids started discussing a nagging desire to jump, checked only by knowledge of the consequences. A different set of consequences stayed my hand, even as they switched to petty and cruel classroom gossip.
/image reported!
@simplersimon For no real reason or to see what would happen? I’m often filled with the desire to do things I know I shouldn’t because I want to see the results. I’m lucky I’m not just a little more curious, because it already borders on a compulsion sometimes.
@Seeds I used to claim it was the curiosity, but really, I know what would happen, generally speaking. Some of the things are even setting up for disasters I won’t witness.
And it’s not just people who annoy me. Don’t get me wrong, I want to assault jerks more than people who have done nothing wrong, but it’s not revenge fantasies. I just feel an urge to destroy them, purely for the destruction’s sake. Forcing a car into oncoming traffic, burning certain poorly designed buildings, bashing the person in line ahead of me with one of the stanchions—whatever it is, it just gnaws at the back of my mind.
@simplersimon Nothing wrong with that- everyone likes a little excitement.
@simplersimon Remind me never to move into the house next to you.
@simplersimon When my mom was getting a recheck after her breast cancer surgery, the doctor got really close to her face (she was sitting down, he was in front of her) and I had to bite back the giggles, because I wanted to see her lick his face.
I’m emetophobic. Vomit can cause a full blown anxiety attack. The situation doesn’t matter. It’s completely irrational yet I still fear it more than scorpions, sink holes, or any other serious thing.
@primrosewater Hopefully you never encounter somebody who ate a bunch of scorpions throwing up into a sinkhole…
@shahnm It would be much worse if I was trapped in a sinkhole with someone who was throwing up because they had eaten scorpions… Or trapped in a sinkhole with someone throwing up scorpions. Great, now I have a new irrational fear.
@primrosewater Speaking as someone who works in healthcare in a hospital, it’s truly amazing what you can get used to seeing (and smelling)…
@cinoclav So I’m told. Somehow I made it through 2.5 years of rough chemo with my fear intact. The only reason I’m able to deal with a camper throwing up (I volunteer with a camp for kids with cancer) is because the other kids aren’t phased by it at all… And by constantly repeating to myself that I’m the adult and need to keep it together.
@cinoclav @primrosewater have you ever thrown up yourself? For me, I generally consider it kind of a fun relief, if I’m experiencing nausea, where it would be appropriate. Just kind of takes the edge off for a bit. As long as you can brush your teeth, I guess.
Sorry, what I meant was, I’ve heard most phobias are diminished by repeat exposure, but I’m wondering if some of them might not be more self-reinforcing if they’re negative experiences. But then I’m thinking “well, vomiting isn’t a negative experience… errr.”
@InnocuousFarmer Sure have. I don’t know when the fear started, but even in elementary school if someone threw up I was out of there… I was the teacher finder. I then had chemotherapy fourth through sixth grade. Threw up a lot. Was around a lot of people puking. Still didn’t get used to it. College… Legitimately my biggest worry about going to college was being around people drinking and puking. Most of my freshman floor got the flu. It wasn’t pretty and it did nothing to help the phobia. I really don’t know how to help it.
I try to make deals with people in situations where cleaning up bodily fluids might be a thing. I’ll cover blood, pee, and poop (which can be bad) if they cover the vomit.
@InnocuousFarmer @primrosewater …or with someone drinking castor oil just before entering a blueberry pie eating contest.
Fear itself (well, more precisely people taking irrational actions based on fear).
Spider webs, especially when you can’t find the spider. What’s that crawling feeling?
@hchavers
@cinoclav @hchavers I’ve heard that’s the first step to learning Kung Fu.
claustrophobia
/giphy tight tunnel
@moonhat yeah, If I needed to crawl out of the sewer pipe like Andy in Shawshank, I’d be in prison until I left Tango Uniform…
@moondrake Take it easy, Charlie! My foot’s on the rail.
On a serious note, as a kid I had a profound fear of nuclear holocaust. I’d wake up in a cold sweat when I heard a plane go by overhead, certain that everything I knew and loved was imminently going to be destroyed. Growing up during the cold war, there was an ever present sense of mutual destruction at the fingertips of men with little moral restraint.
Later, as a teen, I had a terror of serial killers. Not killing me. I had a persistent feeling that I would come home from being out hanging with my friends and find my family butchered. My imagination provided very detailed and graphic expectations while I stood in the wee hours of the morning frozen, unable to turn my key in the lock. More than once I simply had to leave, go to an all night diner and wait for sunrise before going home. The daylight didn’t fully dispel the phobia, but made it manageable.
@moondrake Well, you don’t have to worry about men with little moral restraint anymore…
@moondrake I’ve experienced the fear of finding my family murdered, too. Having people I love die unexpectedly is probably what I’m most afraid of other than my irrational emetophobia. I’m a childhood cancer survivor so I kind of got used to having my friends die… when I knew it was coming. Last year a friend committed suicide and it was an entirely new experience for me. The anniversary of her death is tomorrow and I’m still working on acceptance. This is something I’ve never had to work on before.
@primrosewater Yeah suicide brings it to an entirely new level (I have 2 major cancers I have likely been cured of and one that is incurable but with a longer life - glad you survived yours, hope you don’t ever have to go through that again). My brother was murdered by his wife when we were both in our young/mid 20’s and for years we though it was suicide, my father died of assisted suicide some years later, likely made easier for him to make that choice because of my brother. It is definitely a hard way to lose someone because of all the other issues surrounding it. And the unwillingness of many people to even give support to people grieving because of this kind of death.
The other thing I found is that in order to come to terms with someone dying by this kind of death is that you find you are now having to reject suicide as a choice, just like any other choice, in a way that you didn’t have to do before. A barrier is gone (and for a long time I was angry about that). And it is much harder to get to the point where you can stop thinking about it every single day. The issues surrounding a person dying this way is so much more complicated. Probably took me the better part of 2 years with my brother to be able to really function normally again. One of the hardest things I ever did was to have to give permission for my father to do this (It was, and still is, illegal in the state he died in; he was in a catholic facility so I am surprised they were willing to do this).
The other thing I found is that this is a kind of death that people often don’t want to talk about and so your grief is discounted. As a result you don’t get the support that folks get when someone dies by other means. Take care. This is a tough kind of death to come to terms with. And send a note to your friend’s parents. That will mean so much to them as they are likely feeling very isolated and not getting the kind of support they need either. To know that someone is remembering their daughter with love, remembering (and put this in the letter) the funny, quirky, sweet, kind… things things she did will bring back memories that, while being bitter sweet, will mean so much to them.
@Kidsandliz @primrosewater Good advice. Anniversaries of deaths are always hard. When it is an especially difficult death, like suicide, it makes the anniversary even worse. sending them a card or a note, an email, text or whatever is a great idea. It will do them a world of good. It doesn’t matter what you say or how you say it, just the fact that you made the effort will do wonders for them. As for yourself, be kind to yourself also. There is no correct way to grieve. Just let it happen. I am so sorry for the death of your friend.
@Kidsandliz I’m so sorry about your brother. I can’t even begin to imagine dealing with a suicide only to later find out it was a murder… A nightmare that won’t end. My friend had had issues in the past so I wasn’t too surprised, but she had a lot of very positive things going on (two plays on stage, etc). I just want expecting it last year. My biggest problem with how people react to suicide is by immediately calling it “selfish.” It seems to no longer matter how selfless the person had been in life. (My friend literally brought homeless people to our college dining hall one time because she had befriended them that day and wanted to make sure they had a good meal. She was not self absorbed at all).
Facebook, evil as it may be, has been good for staying in touch with my friend’s mom. She friended a bunch of us (college friend group) after the funeral and I think it helps her to be connected to her daughter’s friends. We can comment on photos, memories, whatever. There’s a gravestone unveiling this weekend, but I can’t attend the ceremony. I think I’m going to write her family a note after that.
I find it likely that you understand where your father was coming from. I was praying for death before I was diagnosed with cancer (it almost killed me, apparently it was very surprising I was still alive) because I was in so much pain. There is no doubt in my mind that assisted suicide is sometimes the best/most humane route to take. I hope you have come to terms with that situation.
I also wish you the best of luck with your medical issues. I’m not naive enough to say something like"feel better." I hope you have more good days than bad days. Thanks for your well wishes. Having another cancer is on my list of fears, but with my family history I’m just assuming that day will come and I’ll deal with it when I have too.
@primrosewater How did your day go?
@Kidsandliz It went okay. I had a busy day at work so I didn’t have much time to think. I held it together until a certain song came on the radio during my drive home, but that’s been happening all year.
And of course I’m crying now. Thank you so much for checking up on me. I’m usually the one who sucks it up and comforts others so I can’t tell you how much your concern means to me.
Things I can’t see in the dark. Like Legos, chairs, clothes baskets, cords, assorted (often pointy) tools, and so on.
Weird, I have absolutely no fear of public speaking. None. I have terrible anxiety about the quality of my work, but I’ve presented (tech talk, Powerpoint) on stage to five thousand Sony engineers at once and it was nothing.
My wife thinks it was because I used to deal with well-known folks in the music business and realized everyone is just another person, but I think it’s a way to hide. Speaking one on one to me is far more difficult that one on ten thousand.
Weird, huh?
@droopus I do pretty well with social anxiety in general—only starts to get uncomfortable when I feel too… examined.
I think a speech would be kind of a middle ground. Everyone is paying attention, but there’s zero risk of invasive probing from someone else. What they see is what you put in front of them, from a safe distance.
I am afraid of widths.
@TheCO2 aw dang it, you beat me to it.
I named my dog “Stay.”
Tornados. Had one touch down (technically it started as a water spout) in my backyard (in the greater Norfolk, VA area), engulfing my house in a lightening ball (while I was inside and fortunately the house didn’t blow apart; the cats were permanently traumatized over thunderstorms; neighbor said the house just vanished in an opaque light - I couldn’t see out the windows for the same reason). Thank you for lightening rods.
Years later I lived in tornado alley and the first one that tore apart Moore, OK was only 5 miles from where I lived. Seeing foundations swept clean was traumatic - fortunately is was 90 minutes on the ground so lots of warning and no one got killed. Later there was one (after I moved from there) in OK that went 4 houses from where I had lived, were the map someone uploaded with it’s path to be believed. I didn’t realize how on edge I was each time there was a storm until I moved to Idaho where there is even rarely a thunderstorm. Then I moved to Mississippi and one blew through just blocks from where I lived - I saw it from the car window over my shoulder. Scary as shit as no place to run to. In retrospect wish I had taken a photo. Wasn’t thinking of that then. Went a block north of me.
@Kidsandliz Benjamin Franklin sez: “You’re welcome!”
/giphy Why did it have to be snakes?
Snakes… not just snakes on a mother%&$#ing plane.
wait…
Did anyone here a hiss… O M G Their listening with those earless heads
Spiders would be pretty good if I lived around jumpy venomous ones…
Fear is a lot about possibilities. Life’s more of a grim, inescapable circumstantial thing, anyways.
@InnocuousFarmer
Snakes! Big snakes, little snakes, dead snakes, pictures of snakes, rubber snakes, sticks that look like snakes. I can’t even touch a picture of a snake. When I filed for divorce after 25 years of hell, my ex sneaked a snake in our house thinking I wouldn’t want the house. He’s a snake of the worst kind.
@tngrannyd
/giphy why did it have to be snakes?
@medz are you a snake like my ex? Do you get a sick pleasure from exploiting the fears of others? “Why did it have to be a snake”
@tngrannyd I’m sorry that happened to you. I had an incredible fear of snakes when I was young. I think there is a very hot place for your ex and it’s populated with enormous snakes.
@Joy823 Thank you, Joy. I can’t even describe what it was like to try to sleep in my house after that. I fear you are correct about his final destination but putting the snake in my bedroom will be the least of the reason. I believe if a snake bit him, it would crawl off and die.
/giphy homey the Clown
Bears
Dying too young and madness.
@PolkSaladAnnie madness scares me more than death. A high school buddy joined the Marines, and came home early because he really snapped. The family had a history, and what he saw just triggered what was there. His parents let me come along once. To see someone so changed, so broken, it’s not easy. He was a tuba-playing class clown, but now he’s rarely lucid, and mean when he is.
@simplersimon I’m so sorry about your friend. I can’t imagine what he must be going through.
I struggle with anxiety and I have a panic disorder. I’ve really been working on getting better, but sometimes I worry about that final snap. I don’t want to completely lose myself.
Not so much a fear as a revulsion: wooden popsicle sticks (or tongue depressors). I’m literally getting shivers and goosebumps just writing this.
@macromeh I like to chew on wooden popsicle sticks.
My parents letting me watch Jaws as an elementary school kid ruined the water for me. Even though I knew it wasn’t possible, I was convinced that the deep end of the pool might just have some sort of connecting tunnel to a place where man-eating fresh water sharks might live. So I spent most of my time playing Space Invaders.
@capnjb
/youtube MEG trailer
@medz I hate you very hard.
Claustrophobia. Small places aren’t the issue. Not being able to get out of a place on my own is the issue. Being in an MRI scanner is awful. The inside is smooth. You cannot get out unless the tech comes and gets you. Even funnier? I have a heart issue that requires one at least once a year! Thank G_d for Ativan!!!
@jelliott04 Literally just had a conversation about this with my patient 10 minutes ago. (I’m a Nuclear Medicine Technologist.) Curious, did you ever have an incident when you were younger that scarred you? Older sibling that used to lock you in a closet kind of thing?
@cinoclav None that I can recall. There was an incident when I was maybe 10 or 12. I was hiding in a drainpipe during a snowball fight. It was big enough for me to sit up straight in. My “friends” buried me inside. I dug myself out and went home rather upset about being wet and cold. I don’t recall being upset about being trapped though. In fact, I remember touring caves etc. when I was in HIgh School. The source must be later.
I survived an Aortic rupture when I was 26 in 1994. I was initially misdiagnosed and then when they began to suspect a dissection, I was rushed into a CT scanner. I don’t remember being afraid of the scanner. Afraid of dying from the rupture, yes; but not from the scan.
I do remember panicking during an MRI following one of my later surgeries to graft my aorta. It might have been my second which took place in 1995. It was just a few days after I had regained consciousness. Probably about 2 weeks post op. I distinctly remember asking the tech to “Get me the hell out of here, please!” I’ve hated MR machines since then. Perhaps that was it. In any event, I must be almost totally unconscious in order to tolerate the scanners. Unfortunately, I am not a candidate for the modified scanners; I must be stuffed inside the tube! /shudder
@jelliott04 Also a weird common occurrence. Many patients have said they’ve made it through one MRI okay but once they’ve had a second they’re done. I would love to see a study done about these occurrences. Well, glad you made it through all that and that you’re still here to hate them!
@cinoclav Thanks!
Eternal recurrence.
@Pavlov in the stream of “that feeling, you can only say what it is in french”?
@simplersimon
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eternal_return#Friedrich_Nietzsche
King gets a lot of it right.
Fire.
Failure. Always failure.
Harry jumping spiders!
@mega1
/image Harry Potter jumping spider
Who knew this is a real thing?
@2many2no
AAAAAAAAAAH!!
@mega1
http://wgntv.com/2018/04/12/nope-north-carolina-restaurant-serving-up-tarantula-burger/
Bridges.
@zzzzz78759 Then don’t ever drive over the one that goes over the Chesapeake Bay from the general Hampton Roads (Virginia) area to Maryland’s Eastern Shore. It sways, it gets closed in the wind. It is very, very, very long. The bridges that go from southern FL (down 1) to Key West are nothing in comparison.
PS I have it on good authority if you lift your feet up when you go over a bridge in a car you will be safe. I learned about that when I was about 4 or 5 and so far it works (grin).
@Kidsandliz @zzzzz78759 Ha! I Just went over it, and must return over it. But it’s not as bad as the Bay Bridge that spans the ES of Md to Annapolis. That is death trap. That closes even more due to it’s height and age. It’s a death trap. Numerous cars have gone off the sides, and it is a favorite for suicides. One day they had two.
There are a lot pf people who are scared to drive this one.
@Kidsandliz @mfladd @zzzzz78759 what the hell is that. And where is it so that I will never go there.
@Kidsandliz Actually, I’ve been over it. My dad took us when I was younger. I was terrified the whole time. I’m also claustrophobic so I don’t like tunnels, either…
@thismyusername LOL!
The Dude Abides, man.
@Kidsandliz @mfladd @moonhat http://www.cbbt.com/
@Kidsandliz But, if I lift up my feet, won’t the car eventually just stop and everybody start blowing their horns at me?
@Kidsandliz @moonhat @zzzzz78759 The one I posted the image is this one,
http://www.baydreaming.com/chesapeake-bay-travel/chesapeake-bay-bridge/
Plans are in the works for a new one, but as you can imagine the cost will be high. The worst, is when they close one span (often) and they use the other span for coming and going traffic. The lanes are so narrow you can probably touch the car going by you. All it takes is a moment of distraction by one driver to really fuck things up. There are actually driving services that will drive your car over for you.
@zzzzz78759 Nah - just use a stick to push the accelerator down.
@mfladd @moonhat @zzzzz78759 It is actually a very pretty drive. I’ve been over it several times.
It’s not really a fear but I hate chalk ugh or sand paper and Styrofoam
@ragingredd glitter is the worst
@medz So not this shirt, right?
https://www.teeturtle.com/products/glitter-is-my-favorite-color
@narfcake no. Glitter is an invasive contaminant that is nearly impossible to get rid of.
/youtube irritating gets everywhere
@ragingredd Those weird wooden spoons that come with ice cream…ewww…