@PlacidPenguin Word.

@hems79 Likewise. I blamed @ELUNO.

Thanks @ELUNO, your jerky jerkface.

yeah same thing happened to me. I’m not sure backend how that works - the VMP goes through but the order doesn’t? - but maybe the Oh Shit Report will clarify. SAD!

@hems79 No. Fuck 8am. Buying shit after their stupid ass-fuckery of a system hits the breaker only encourages the whole fucking thing. Just put the shit up at midnight and let people buy it. I’m sick of this “we’re saving some for the people we really like” bullshit.

@hems79 same as me. now VMP but no order? what the fuck?

@brianakins83 same boat. When I got the vmp confirmation I was all excited them i realized the order confirmation never came. Checked order history and it didn’t show. Wow meh you’re not being mediocre here you guys effed us up royally.

@SpenceMan01 Staying up until midnight isn’t really an option for some people

@gizmo8500 I work the graveyard shift. For God sake can at least something work around MY schedule and only sell these at midnight?
/giphy No sleep.

@gizmo8500 Waking up at 5/6/7 AM isn’t really an option for some people.

See how that works?

@narfcake
@march5th00
@brianakins83
@gshock888
And here we all are… still VMPers. Why haven’t we cancelled yet?

Is it us still holding onto hope that meh staffers see this, feel pity for us and send us a fuko anyways?
Is it the fact that we will be grandfathered in VMP and maybe, just maybe get more socks that others won’t be getting?
Is it because meh might possibly/maybe sell something awesome in the next few days?
Me? I feel dead inside and feel too lazy to click the cancel button.
/giphy I IZ SAD

@hems79 Like that cat gify

@SpenceMan01 Yep, I sure do. I see that they sell it at midnight AND 8am AND 4pm. See how that works?

@hems79
Didn’t sign onto VMP in order to do better with Fukos or anything else.

My uid is my operative creed.

The point of VMP is more special Mediocre torment from Meh.

I am satisfied.

@hems79 It takes effort. Sure, in less time that it took me to craft this followup post, I could’ve cancelled … but I have more important things to do.

http://shirt.woot.com/offers/the-internet-defined

@gizmo8500 If they sold equal amounts at each time slot, it’d be different… but they don’t. Well over half, to approaching 2/3rds of the inventory is allotted for the 8am time slot (I’ll gather and run the numbers if you really want me to). Those that check at Midnight and 4 are at a distinct disadvantage.

I fully realize that Meh has every right to run their site any way they want. That doesn’t preclude me from bitching when I think what they’re doing is stupid (just like the east coasters did before the breakers).

How about noon? Seems like a reasonable compromise to me.

@SpenceMan01
Troub is, I think they’re doing it exactly the way they wish to. And I think they love it when we bitch and offer improvements and wanna “make it fair” or whatever.

And we love it when they hurt us. We bitch and threaten and then come back for more.

All good.

Hurt me, @snapster! One more time!

@Ignorant

@baqui63 Also, every cloud has a silver lining.

@RedOak It’s not the piece of shit bag, it’s the lame way this is offered and handled. This whole VMB or whatever the fuck it is sucks.

@jdjonesdr except, if like me, you ignored the buy button when you saw Fuk-anything, then how you were unceremoniously prevented from procuring that bag of shit would matter not. Not even a tiny little bit.

The meh buy function works flawlessly, perhaps too flawlessly, on stuff I think I actually want.

Come to think of it, maybe I should start a forum thread “Fuck, Fuck, Fuck the flawless Meh buy function… my hoard closet overflowith!”

@RedOak
Good idea. I think of the dozens of items I bought from Meh the past few years, only the Bubba thermos were actually used.

@RedOak two words: garage sale OR one word: craigslist

@Kidsandliz Not a fan of either. Better not to buy in the first place unless it is gift for someone else’s hoard!

@RedOak Yeah, relax. I got one once, and just like advertised it was a bag of cheap crap that was not even worth the $5 with free shipping. I haven’t tried to get one since. Sure, a few people get useful things now and then, but I suspect that the great majority of them really ARE just junk and garbage.

Didn’t need to know that about your mom. Eww.

@samisdead Okay, that’s funny.

@samisdead Does that make meh your new stepdad?

@Kidsandliz Funny… I almost never get the multiple pictures robot thing… it is almost always just the checkbox, especially on meh.com (I think the only exception was the time with 53 captchas… a fuku I got, btw).

@baqui63 hmm meh must hate me and love like you for me to almost always get the multiple pictures thing and you to rarely get them LOL.

Hey @shawn - is there a way to flag those of us you know, for sure, aren’t robots to let us just get a check box rather than a zillion pictures with fuko’s? Maybe a secret benefit for VMP’s who have made an undisclosed number of purchases in the past, spread out over an undisclosed amount of time, who have been mediocre for at least an undisclosed number of days and post in the forums? You know, a non- robot check of humanness…

@Kidsandliz Thank you for the shout out. I posted a link to the other thread on Facebook for anybody who wants to help.

@Kidsandliz I wasn’t just talking about meh. I don’t know which CAPTCHA service meh uses, but whichever one it is has only shown me pictures twice in my memory and only once on meh. It is (almost) always just the “I am not a robot” checkbox.

@atlascringed What data are you looking at to draw this conclusion?

@Willijs3 It’s all right here. You can’t just make this data up:

@MrMark Fake news? Alternative facts? Right? LOL

@Kidsandliz But … but… it HAS to be real, because there are charts! Pie charts don’t lie, do they? Bar charts are a bit suspect and everyone knows a Venn diagram is just crazy talk. A histogram sound like something that needs an allergy shot. But pie charts are always good, because pie!

@rockblossom I’d be careful if I were you… we have evidence that these alternative pies can turn into humble pie or crow pie after you have bought and tried to serve them.

@Kidsandliz Not too often, but considering this chart, it can turn into pi

@rockblossom
FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE.

where’s the pecan pie?

What liars.

/image “pecan pie”

@f00l I pecan pie

@MrMark Capta?

@RedOx Well look at that, there needs to be a CH in there. Sorry for the confusion this caused you.

@f00l @looseneck thanks, that reminded me it is national pie month and I promised myself I’d learn to make pie from scratch (i.e. No store bought crust). Do either of you, or anyone have a recipe for a) pecan pie and/or b) any pie where you make the cross-cross crust on top, and if both a&b assume store-bought crust: c) pie crust.

@mollama I can google recipes but I prefer ones someone gave me. Particularly the meh crowd is very un-meh in arts/crafts/cooking/etc.

@mollama any pie can have the criss cross on the top. Just cut strips and go “over under over under” (eg weave it).

@mollama I use Dear Abby’s recipe for pecan pie and store-bought crust. Not Pillsbury - the frozen ones seem to cook better. I’ve only tried making crust once and it was a complete disaster.

@Kidsandliz I have a tool that zig zags to make the lattice look prettier. I haven’t used it in a long time. We always made lattices on cherry pies.

@looseneck I hardly ever make pie crust any more but I did teach my daughter to make it- it may soon be a lost art. This weekend I’ll make a blueberry pie with a lattice top from scratch and see if I still got it.

@Kidsandliz sorry, should have been clearer, I mean pies where you do that, usually fruit pies. Like pecan pie and merengue pies don’t do those, and I don’t want a merengue pie recipe. So that was my poor short-hand for what type of pie recipe I was looking for

@mollama I was being a smart ass. I knew you wanted the recipe for the entire pie and I choose to be literal about it and be a smart alec : )

@sammydog01 FUCK YOU, TOO.

@sammydog01 I missed last night too but I’m not suicidal over it. The only thing that would make this perfect is if I get one at 8 and he still doesn’t.

@cinoclav Well, did ya? Huh? Huh?

@placeholder I didn’t.

@cinoclav did you get one? I’m really hopeful that @Dizavid didn’t just to spite him. He’s just so darned pleasant.

@placeholder @sammydog01 @jbartus I didn’t. My patient was here so I couldn’t really try. I’ll try at 4. Wouldn’t be the first I’ve missed, won’t be the last.

@Thumperchick Wow look how young Daryl is in that image.

@Thumperchick I LOVE THIS MOVIE! Here’s the full quote, if anyone’s interested:

@djslack
Doge is getting a little articulate.

@viciousterra In a way I miss those days as speed didn’t matter as much then - it was more actual luck. Of course people’s frustration level was high. Just like now. That didn’t change. We’ve just substituted one frustration for another another…

@Kidsandliz Oh, I completely agree with you about it being more about luck back then. I benefited from that a few times myself and would not mind a return of the server crashes of old. But at least now the frustration and letdown doesn’t have an hour long buildup.

Then again, it was a great feeling when you fought for an hour and then actually got one. Of course, that was in ancient past, in the days of the fukubukuro, now they are all just junk .

@hotwheels53 I’m guessing you voted to “make America great again”

@spleener No spleener I pray for a better America. I answer to only one GOD and I ask forgiveness for people who judge others without knowing who or what they are other than a name on an internet site. I worked for everything I have, paid taxes, have helped those that need helping and having lost everything several times in my life still have hope for this country. I have my faith that has gotten me through more things than you could ever imagine. I’ve been through things as a child and adult that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, not that I have any that I am aware of. I treat people the way I want to be treated and my children, grandchildren and other peoples children have been taught in the same manner. Now if there is any more questions that you have for me feel free to ask. I will answer them with the same dignity and respect that I replied to your last one. Have a wonderful day and GOD bless you.

@hotwheels53 With all that marketing experience, did you ever learn that it makes sense to limit your quantity of items that cost more to sell than the amount of revenue you get from each purchase? In this case, you do not make it up in volume.

@cengland0

Amazon doesn’t get it either. Sigh.

@spleener MMGA?

@hotwheels53 Your entire rant is null and void for several reasons:

1. It’s VMP
2. The sale at 8 am is not just for VMP’ers, it’s for everyone. Any held back until 4 pm are for VMP.
3. While I’m sorry someone died, what in the hell does that have to do with you not getting a mystery bag usually full of junk?

@cinoclav #3 for real! When I first read it, after that twist, I was expecting to be offered some super awesome investment or work deal that I could
/giphy make $1000s at working from my computer.

@thejackalope And now they’re berating me below for questioning that odd tangent.

@cinoclav @thejackalope

I’ve been slowly learning to stay away from getting involved in certain discussions.

@cinoclav You deserve a spanking.
/giphy spanking

@cinoclav I was expecting something dirtier that you might enjoy.

@sammydog01 Well, I could spank myself but that doesn’t seem quite as much fun.

@sammydog01 that gif is perfectly in sync with the song i’m listening to right now and it’s creeping me out. (fatboy slim - gangster trippin)

@Dizavid The meh forums are a much happier place when politics is NOT discussed.

@narfcake I could fix that in one quick hurry.

@joelmw don’t blame me; I voted for Cthulhu.
no point in trying to choose the “lesser evil”.

@joelmw
MOAR pls.

@joelmw I’ve stopped saying ‘Now I’ve heard it all’. It’s like waking from a nightmare, to find burglars in your house, and then lightning strikes. The only happy people are late night talk show writers.

@colin_in_sick should have signed in before refreshing. First rule: be signed in before it drops.

I thought I was. I usually sign in with Amazon, and I was already signed in to Amazon, but I guess it didn’t carry over. I’ll be more vigilant in the future.

@biggestmexi I repeatedly had that problem too. @shawn is this a glitch you guys can fix?

@biggestmexi exactly the issue I had too.

@biggestmexi Yeah, I kept getting that as well. Finally got to sold out.

This morning, in bed, 4:30, I considered getting out of bed and trying for the 5:00 offering. I figured the hell with it, I still don’t have the ones from last year completely unboxed, I don’t need anymore stuff.

Petted some cats who were on the bed, rolled over and went back to sleep.

@lisaviolet but but but the PURPLE bag…

@Kidsandliz Yeah, it’s nice, but sleep…

@Kidsandliz

Open a new page. In fact open several and have them ready jic. Then you won’t get the error.

Yeah i’m always a robot on the retries, after having completed the captcha.

PS no purple bag for me either. Wanted one.

@lisaviolet I was up from 3 till 5am with a sick dog and it literally never occurred to me to go full hunting. I think I’m only 2 hrs ahead of et here in mountain time anyway. He’s got a vet appointment at 2:30 so I should have just enough time to try and get foiled by captcha before heading to the vet. I’ve only ever gotten the fuku they sent for being a kickstarter, I’m not on the ball enough for these lightning sales.

@moondrake Good luck. I don’t think I’ll even try.

I hope your dog is okay, that it’s nothing bad.

@lisaviolet Thank you, me too. He started out vomiting and flagging appetite last week, he’s always had a sensitive stomach so I started him on greek yogurt and holding off on vitamins and treats. His energy came back but the vomiting stayed. Yesterday I realized he was having trouble chewing, and at this point I am convinced he has a dental problem, which explains the unfinished meals but I don’t know about the vomiting. I lost my elderly cat to a dental infection last year and my dog’s quite old so anesthesia is scary. I’d appreciate you keeping a good thought for us this afternoon.

@moondrake

@moondrake I sure will. It’s hard to watch them age.

@moondrake

@PurplePawprints
/giphy lottery sore loser

@PurplePawprints Don’t play the lottery. Don’t play games.

Sore loser. I own it.

@MrMark

What a lovely piece of ranting.

/giphy thumbs up

@MrMark that was a thing of beauty.

/giphy way to go!

@MrMark That was beautiful.

/giphy Well done!

@MrMark
/giphy Pulitzer prize caliber

@MrMark

/giphy perfect

@MrMark Hah, I found a $100 bill in a parking lot once. It had been there long enough to get ironed into the concrete by car tires, that’s what people get for not looking down. Plus tripping. So I am clearly 5x as lucky as you, which means I have 5x as much chance of getting a fuku. (Cue maniacal laughter).

@moondrake I found $120 on the floor in a bar once. Well, not exactly a bar… there were women there. Women with very little clothing on. The only time in my life I didn’t consider trying to find out who dropped the money I found.

@cinoclav When I found that $100 at the supermarket I sat in my car for about 10 minutes watching for someone who looked like they’d just lost something important, but I didn’t see anyone like that. It was a lot of money for me, but it might have been a lot of money for someone else to lose. That supermarket is in an affluent area, but right by the college, so I’ve always hoped it was one of the doctors or lawyers who shop there that dropped it and not some poor college kid.

@moondrake Exactly why I normally try to find the owner of lost items. While most of us could always use a little extra, there are always those out there who need it more. At least that $120 I found went to good use. I’m sure the lovely dancers and bartenders who earned it were putting it into their 401k.

@moondrake I think your conscience is safe. College students don’t even know what a hundred dollar bill looks like.

@placeholder Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da
Da da dat dat da ya da!

@hotwheels53 Sorry for your loss. Life just sucks some days. Ask @mfladd.

@hotwheels53 @kidsandliz wouldn’t have gotten your name wrong, so there are some dissimilarities. No one is begrudging your grief, or disagreeing that there’s a drug problem, but it has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not you “deserve” a fuko.

@hotwheels53 there is no user named @Cinacloc, did you perhaps mean @cinoclav? Likewise @Kidzwithliz is not a valid user account, were you perhaps looking for @Kidsandliz? For someone so worried about compassion I’m surprised you didn’t take the care to at least get people’s names right.

Setting all of that aside, @cinoclav never questioned your right to post what you want, they simply asked, as many of us are wondering, what the hell it has to do with the topic of this thread. You came out of left field with a commentary on drug abuse without anything to even tie it back to the topic at hand. Furthermore, you’re sitting here impugning @cinoclav’s character by alleging a lack of compassion when they specifically expressed sympathy for your loss. Who’s the creep here?

@PurplePawprints @jbartus If you can’t see the connection there well then there’s just no hope for you. Some people just don’t get it…

@jbartus Who’s the creep? Right now it’s you. Feelings aren’t always logical and that’s OK.

@sammydog01 you’re entitled to your opinion. I disagree. I’m not the one attacking someone’s character with no basis, never mind the one attacking their character without even getting their name right. The logic or lack thereof behind tying their drug rant back to the topic of missing a Fuko does not play a factor with regards to their behavior towards @cinoclav.

@hotwheels53 Pretty much what @jbartus said… While I don’t actually need to defend myself to an internet stranger, I feel the need to express that I’m a highly compassionate person, that’s why I work in healthcare. It’s the reason I’ve had numerous patients write letters expressing their appreciation for how I’ve treated them. The entire point that everyone is wondering is how did you go from talking about a Fuko to drug abuse? It made no sense at all. You’re free to talk about whatever you want, but why not start a new thread if you want to discuss the drug scourge in society. The middle of a Fuko post seemed to be an awfully odd place to insert that topic.

@jbartus Sometimes you need to read what you type and decide if the satisfaction you get from saying it outweighs the hurt it will cause. And it’s often not what you say but the way you say it. Sometimes being silent is kinder than being right.

@sammydog01 I’m curious, what did you take from @jbartus’s post that you found hurtful? I’ve reread it several times and I feel it was more of a defense of what I said than directing anything mean towards the OP.

@sammydog01 Sometimes you need to read what I type and decide not to disregard what I’ve actually said while filling in the margins with your own ideas about what you think I’m saying.

Now that we’ve addressed that, I’m going to be blunt. Grief is not a free pass to just do whatever. It does not absolve one of their personal responsibility to interact with other humans in a reasonable manner. @hotwheels53 chose to take a reasonable question from @cinoclav, throw out the sympathies expressed at the start, and go on another crusade while attacking their character and calling them names.

This is not a heat of the moment situation whereupon such behavior could potentially be excused, this is an internet message board with minutes and hours at our disposal during which to consider what has been said (and what you’re going to say in response) and formulate a reply (and check spelling to get names right). If someone is going to choose not to carefully consider what is said and attack a long-standing well-regarded member of the community with no basis, I’m going to call them on it.

@jbartus Just to note, ‘they’ is a ‘he’ in case you weren’t sure. Thank you for your defense and kind words, I do appreciate it.

@hotwheels53

So maybe you might like to show a little compassion in your life instead of acting like a total creep. We already have enough of those in this world . Peace be with you

Interesting.

In fact, fascinating.

Also: I’m very genuinely sorry about your loss. Painful beyond words.

@cinoclav
Rational and compassionate conduct (such as yours) requires no defense.

@jbartus

Very well and thoughtfully put.

Grief is not a free pass to just do whatever. It does not absolve one of their personal responsibility to interact with other humans in a reasonable manner.

Indeed. And if I act badly out of intense emotion, or devastating moments, no matter how understandably from a given POV of terribly events : I personally believe I owe amends and acknowledgment of my own poor conduct.

I am in charge of at least that.

@cinoclav I wasn’t sure thank you for clarifying. I regret only that such defense was necessary. You asked a pertinent albeit not wholly necessary question in a compassionate and respectful manner and deserve none of the response you got.

@cinoclav Perhaps someone has a gambling or shopping addiction? Supposedly occasional or partial success is a stronger behavioral reinforcement than regular complete success, which is what destroys gambling addicts and drives the lottery. The elusive fuku would certainly play on that vulnerability. I’m not dissing the fuku, it’s infrequent and $5, not exactly financially destructive. Just looking to tie two disparate concepts together. Thanks to all our contestants playing the Pattern Recognition game.

@moondrake

Addiction. Infrequent and random rewards.

Yum!

/giphy addiction

One wonders how much of this conversation would likely happen in the face to face world.

That is the true test.

@RedOak
Different venue.
<sad smile>

@f00l …and that is exactly the point. Is it more “pleasant”, satisfying, to treat folks differently in a forum than face to face?

I’ve often slipped into it as well. Doesn’t seem to accomplish much other than heating up my insecurities. The silly thing is, if I’m not going to meet up face to face, why do I feel a need to fire up those insecurities? It really matters not.

<I need to tape this comment on the top of my monitor>

@RedOak

@RedOak Going back to my original question of why they went off on the drug tangent, if this were happening in the real world I wouldn’t have to type it out. The absolutely confuzzled look on my face would have said it all. It was there as I was reading it too…

@f00l having inconsistent rewards make the behavior the hard to extinguish or change. Yup they have that down pat here.

@Kidsandliz
And I have my try try again response down pat also.

Pavlov, I am your dog!

@RedOak the misspelling of people’s names would almost certainly not have ever been the distraction it became.

@PlacidPenguin didn’t he used to complain about the circuit breaker?

@RiotDemon

I need to check the list I have which details all of the lists which I’ve made to see if I have a list of all of the things @Dizavid has complained about.

@PlacidPenguin either way, there’s a new person to complain about the circuit breaker. They also complained on Meh’s Facebook post, so now I have a face in mind when I read their whiny posts.

@RiotDemon

Try these two faces:

@PlacidPenguin He’s always in a good mood.

@PlacidPenguin Do I smell octopus?

@PlacidPenguin His rant had nothing to do with the fuko. He has been waiting for Drumpf to make America great again and after what he has seen in the last 4 weeks he finally realized what an egotistical POS America just elected.

@Felton10

When did I connect the rant to the Fuko?

@Durago
37 years old, and I still lol’d. God I need to grow up.

@hems79 Naw - not worth growing up if the stupidest little thing makes you laugh. Why lose that? It’d take the fun out of life.

@Mack At least you caught it was eastern time. I thought it was like everything else - central time for the 8am. Oops.

@Kidsandliz I thought everything here was based on eastern time. Midnight sale, 4pm VMP offer.

@MrMark Yeah I guess you are right. I was thinking 11pm (I am in central) was midnight in eastern… thus it was 8 for central and was 9 for them. oops. That is what I get for not reading carefully. Ever. with that. I know now LOL

@meh427 well yes often everything in them is junk and the only good thing is the bag, sometimes not even the other meh branded items are things I’d want. They started out as nice fukus - I presume for marketing reasons, that likely served its purpose and so ended and now, as fuko’s, they are progressively getting more pitiful with fewer “jackpots”. So, I’d agree, in retrospect (after seeing the revel threads), that takes away much of the disappointment. This time I wanted the purple bag though.

@Kidsandliz I have to say, I’ve never got one that wasn’t worthwhile. Even without a ‘jackpot’ item, the other items included have always been worth reasonably more than what we pay. Sure, there are items that are essentially trash but in every bag there’s at least one or two decent things. Fortunately I’ve also received some really great items along the way, like the Neato robot vac and the Samsung Circle bluetooth headphones last time. Not to mention, way too fucking many peanut butter n’ jelly spreaders!

@hotwheels53
(and here’s one for you, @f00l)

I’m truly sorry for your loss. Death sucks.

Honestly, this probably isn’t the context to be looking for consolation (unless you already have established relationships–and that’s probably a good rule of thumb anyway). It’s a little like consulting comments on a YouTube video for pointers on human decency and good etiquette. But seriously, not just that this is meh, but a post whose title is “FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCKS!!!” What the fuck were you thinking? I understand that you’re not thinking straight right now, but let me assure you, that’s ill-advised to say the least.

1. I’ve been spell-checking, grammar-checking and sometimes even fact-checking posts on this site from day fucking one. I was part of the Kickstarter, so I’ve been around for a while. I usually let it go, but I sometimes don’t, and it seems that every time I don’t, the accused is all fucking defensive about it–like they’re somehow suffering and we’re not put upon to deal with their incompetence, indifference, whatever. Jesus Christ, if we’re pointing out your spelling errors, you’re the one who’s fucking transgressed, not us. Moreover I think you’ll find that folks are forgiving in proportion to your not being an asshole and/or drama queen. Or, idunno, maybe have a sense of humor about it. If you don’t have a sense of humor–or much of a sense of humor (and, just a warning: in my experience folks who don’t have much of a sense of humor often don’t recognize the deficiency)–this probably isn’t the place for you. I’m not saying you shouldn’t buy stuff here, but maybe don’t frequent the forums.

2. This isn’t really a “chat site.” Okay, maybe, but at the very least, it by design isn’t–and isn’t meant to be–a typical “chat site.” But I know for a fact (me and my goddamned fact-checking) that many of those chat sites are total fucking bullshit. First of all, no, they’re not all populated with folks who want to rally around you when you drop in irrelevant, passive-aggressive pleas for pity and self-righteous expressions of moral superiority. And, bloody fucking hell, they shouldn’t be. I mean, sure, you can go off on a tangent. Sometimes it’ll work. Sometimes it won’t. But you’re sure as fuck not entitled to it. Be an adult. Own your own fucking behavior. When you fuck up, don’t go blaming it on everyone else.

The people of meh are, by explicit declaration, mediocre people. I know from experience that many of us are kind, big-hearted, generous, compassionate. You may find it ironic, but it’s also true that many of the kindest among us are complete (or near-complete) assholes. We’re abrasive, blunt, ostentatiously opinionated, egregiously confrontational, openly disrespectful. We like to say “fuck.” That’s who we are. It’s practically a fucking creed. How dare you come in here and tell us we need to be whiny, pretentious, hyper-sensitive, fragile, walk-on-eggshells twits, like you and all of those other dumbfucks. Not on my motherfucking watch.

Here’s a general principle: If you see a community and think you might want to be a part of it, shut the fuck up and pay attention to it for a while. If you don’t like what you see, maybe go on your way and find someplace else to hang. If you do like what you see, yaknow–here’s a fucking idea–maybe make an effort to speak the language and conform to the standards (ha, we have so few standards, but we have them) of the community instead of coming in screaming and crying because you want it to be something else.

Jesus Fucking Christ. Bless your heart. May the gods of someone else’s choosing bless you.

@joelmw

Very nice. I got a little fix! Feel good!

I my addictions. U R 1.

I know you offered a very directed comment on an emotionally charged topic and therefore you had to be more “pointed at the goal” than your norm, in order to accomplish the purpose.

Really really fine content. Fine arguments. Good supporting trails of thought. Well-formed sentences. Excellent flow.

Substantial wit.

Overall, A.
Totally on form. So nice to have a fresh taste. Be still my beating heart.

---

Pointers for the future - I know you’re into full curmudgeon mode now. (A plus).

More FUCKS and various variants. Never hurts. Not possible to overdose.

Correct my spelling all you like. I thrive on that. I also thrive on misspelling things.
iPhone. Autocorrect. It’s my world, baby! Yeah!

More literary and cultural references and digressions are always good. In fact, those are the best! Esp if they involve mythology and archetypes. Or jungian psychology. Or anything “overdetermined”. Infinite feedback of any kind is good.

You don’t just know the drill, you are its creator and the true master of it.

/giphy salute

Miss U.

@f00l @joelmw God (someone else’s - I don’t have one), I fucking love you people.

@joelmw double fuckin aaaa…

Whoo Hoo, @joelmw!
Bringing Truth and Justice back to meh!

You are my superhero!

@joelmw perfectly said! this absolutely made my day, thank you!

@joelmw

Regarding another’s reply to you later in this thread:

Sometimes there is no possibiliy of communication. Then, individual choice; i usually let things go.

My comment regarding that person’s reply to you should be understood from that perspective.

Something comes to mind about leading horses to water. You did your best.

Really really glad to see you.

@f00l I agree. This is my first fuku offering seen, but this thread has been one of the best reads since I joined!

@Nuurgle @f00l

Honestly, I never know if I should read the Fuko product listing thread. Sure, there’s good humor there, but there are also always the complaint threads which are fun to read as well.

@PlacidPenguin

Where the is ranting, there may be entertainment.

(Excepting politics and other areas that ought to be very thoughtful and serious.)

/giphy rant

@f00l

I’ve stayed out of that thread.

@f00l Is this an unblame?!??

@ELUNO
Perhaps.

@ACraigL

Of course it’s fun. It’s also fun to watch the reactions which those who get them, and those who didn’t get then have.

Fukos bring out interesting details about people.

@ACraigL Good luck. I’m guessing there’s 600 total, so there’s only 17 left for VMP.

(Prepare for more whining this afternoon!)

@narfcake

17???

Mine mine mine All Mine!

@narfcake

Where do you get 17 from?

Kinda confused about math.

@narfcake By my count (and meh count), they only sold 403 so far. 223 at launch, and another 180 at 8:00

@ACraigL @f00l @PlacidPenguin Aww, fuck. @lichme is right. Sooo … at the typical 5% holdback, there’s 21 left. OTOH, they’ve overshot before, so 420 might be the intended total and the 17 remains correct.

/image 420 math

@narfcake So don’t bother trying, guys. OK?

@sammydog01 I know I won’t be … because I can’t. I blame @ELUNO that the only charge today was for VMP, not for the Fuko.

@narfcake @PlacidPenguin @lichme @f00l Got one. Shocked.

@ACraigL Congrats! My math was wrong but my guess was right. Or something like that.

@snapster Catshirts.

@ACraigL Wooohoo

@narfcake

@Shawn - Good news. So… @narfcake has a reason to constantly tag @snapster, and I have a reason to constantly tag @ChadP, but only now did I figure out a reason to constantly tag you.

@narfcake @ACraigL @f00l @PlacidPenguin and then we see there were 600 total. Lots for VMP and gone in 23 seconds.

@narfcake @ACraigL @f00l @Kidsandliz

So it ended up being 596 sold (after some were cancelled).

Phew.

@narfcake was’t correct.

@PlacidPenguin Oh sure, blame me for something when there’s a perfectly good scapegoat that you could’ve blamed instead!

@PlacidPenguin Hmm maybe that means there are now 4 they can choose to gift people with… that would be cool.

@ELUNO - @narfcake just said I could blame him instead of blaming you.

I blame you that now I’m confused if this is a good thing since I could blame 2 people, or bad since he’s trying to take your job.

/8ball Am I trying to take @ELUNO’s job as scapegoat this month?
My sources say no

/8ball Does @PlacidPenguin need to be goated?
Without a doubt

@narfcake

/8ball Can one piece of code argue with another piece of code?
It is certain

@PlacidPenguin
/image rock’em sock’em

Side note:

http://www.teeturtle.com/products/i-was-nerdy-before-it-was-cool

@narfcake

There are certain commercials for toys in the 90s which pop into my mind from time to time.

This is one of them.

---

There’s also
/youtube socker boppers

@PlacidPenguin Strangest looking sock puppets I’ve ever seen!

(Also way to promote violence in kids, who probably realized they can do far more damage when there’s no inflatable balloon on the end of their fists.)

@narfcake

Meh. It was the 90s. Strange stuff was happening and/or going on.

@PlacidPenguin
/image strange shit in the 90’s

@narfcake

It was YOUR generation which was selling this stuff to MY generation.

But yeah, there was a whole thing about the promotion of violence. Wikipedia has spoken!

Also, never had Milky Pens. Saw them a few times though. (After all, it’s not like I was likely to see them based on where I got my education.)

@PlacidPenguin
@narkcake
@Eluno
@8ball

@placidpenguin: wikipedia link to 90’s violent toys pls?

Among all of you, which of you is a sui generis bot?

Enquiring bot-minds want to know.

(I had parent bots, meself.)

@f00l

You may also wanna include @narfcake in the list of people who you are asking.

@PlacidPenguin

My parent bots had some error code. I inheritited the tendency. (C what I did there?)

Besides I’m wearing a wrist brace.
Can’t help it.

@narfcake I agree. @PlacidPenguin needs goated again because being a goat penguin does not count as being a goat.

@narfcake @PlacidPenguin confirmed for goat!

@Kidsandliz @narfcake

A goat by any other name is still a goat.

You have a better chance of getting @Jasontoon or @mikibell designated as goat.

@f00l
/youtube just say narf

@PlacidPenguin Don’t forget the goatapus!

@PlacidPenguin
/8ball is a goat different than a penguin?
It is decidedly so

@Kidsandliz

/image picture of goat

/image picture of penguin

Picture of penguin in disguise:

@Kidsandliz
You spoke, future Goat?

@f00l Can I hear you now? Nope no bars… And I had no votes either.

@Kidsandliz
We know you’re just shy.

@f00l

If I’d have known @Kdsandliz is shy…

@gglockner
Take away all my fun whydontcha?

@lichme Charge $30.

@narfcake You’re right, it’s last chance time. Do or die.

@lichme is this going to be filled with some of the random boxes of crap and fuku/o laying around your place?

@nostrom0 Dude. Same thing happened to me.
Just go to the top of the page and click “VMP.” Under “Your VMP Membership” click cancel anytime. Boom.

I’ll be doing that… eventually maybe.

@nostrom0 unfortunately you had to be VMP before the fuku starts. It’s posted in the rules.
/giphy no rules

@f00l Shoulda bought the hack pack

@lichme

I’m happy when I don’t get one.

/giphy “idiot grin”.

Wait, Meh owes me!!’

/giphy rant

Oh fuck it. Happy.

/giphy happy

@cranfordio
This is entirely normal for most of us. You have 10000+++ more people l trying to grab perhaps 1 of 400.

At 4am the odds are way worse.

The contents of the shipment are often pure junk, as advertised.

And the so many getmad and complains. Many rant. Some get analytical.

Getting one is like winning the lottery. You don’t think you are entitled to win the lottery, do you?

The system is working exactly as intended. They seem to have no desire to change it.

Many customers who’ve been around a while (and who also don’t get a Fuko) are quite content with the sustem, as we appreciate humorous frustration.

Ok for folks to feel as they please, but with both Meh staff and the most active customers content with it, wishing no change, and with Meh losing $ in each sale of a Fuko, why should they change?

PS: Meh does not care about how the most active customers feel. Meh is acting exactly according to the biz plan and it all works beautifully for Meh’s purposes.

People who ask how it makes sense to have frustrated and angry customers over something like this do not understand Meh’s intentions.

Meh seems to know exactly what they are up to. So little reason to change. In fact, everyone insisting on how they ought to change turns into just one more reason not to. People usually get the hang of it soon enough.

@f00l I am aware of all of this, just wanted to rant like everyone else. I at least kept my comment clean.

@cranfordio
You were cool. No worries.

I felt like being a bit preachy in respond to the general atmosphere. I replied to you cause your comment was recent, decent, and civilized.

If my post was annoying pls forgive. All in good fun.

@cranfordio If you want to win things, go to woot.com and watch for their frequent Bags of Crap (BOCs). They cost the same, and usually they have several within a 24-hour period. Your chances of winning should be much higher. Contents not guaranteed, same as fukos.

/giphy How About Some Cheese with that Whine.

@hems79
/image cheese and whine

@narfcake
I lose we lose you lose we all lose.

/giphy "snoopy dance"

@narfcake
/image never tell me the odds

@medz

http://shirt.woot.com/offers/never-read-the-comments

Also, something is incorrect, @matthew!

@hotwheels53
And I believe that speaks volumes.

@hotwheels53
Looking for this? (grin)

@hotwheels53

@hotwheels53 So, how much less could you care about women’s lib? Just curious…

/giphy doesn’t mean what you think

@PurplePawprints One of my biggest pet peeves…

@hotwheels53 - You’re lucky enough to get advice on assimilating here, and you react with an offensively narcissistic view.
@joelmw is one of our most respected contributors. If you were as intelligent as you say, and you wanted to adapt to this forum, you would reread his post with a more open point of view. You would do well not to attack him, but to learn from the insights he shared.

I always learn something from him.

@KDemo

@Barney hey man, you’re just in time!

@wooterondo What, to get a pie thrown in my face? It looks kind of dangerous around here.

@Barney

@Barney PS

@Barney

Did @Barney say something?

Was it @Barney?

Off-white @Barney?

I coulda sworn i heard someone.
/image off-white

@f00l
With her head tucked underneath her arm,
She walks the Bloody Tower
With her head tucked underneath her arm,
At the midnight hour.

GHOST
I am thy @Barney’s spirit,
Doom’d for a certain term to walk the night
And for the day confined to fast in fires
Till the foul crimes done in my days of nature
Are burnt and purged away. But that I am forbid
To tell the secrets of my prison-house,
I could a tale unfold whose lightest word
Would harrow up thy soul, freeze thy young blood,
Make thy two eyes, like stars, start from their
spheres,
Thy knotted and combinèd locks to part,
And each particular hair to stand on end,
Like quills upon the fretful porpentine.
But this eternal blazon must not be
To ears of flesh and blood.

so very sad!

can one guess the color to bring @Barney back from the whispering shadows?
/image yellow-red

@f00l

I believe @Barney likes the color of a freshly mowed grass after a gentle rainfall in the Spring.

@f00l Shakespeare?
How about –

@PlacidPenguin Uh, nope.

I’d like to dedicate this song to my dear internet friend mikie, who recently passed. He taught me so much about computers. I was such a complete idiot about them. He had the patience to teach me enough that I didn’t get into too much trouble. Sorry I never became a linux geek like you mikie.

Geez, it’s been a bad year in the friends department for Barney.

@Barney
@f00l is sorry about @Barney’s friend.

/image “purple stars”

@RedOx Yeah, I haven’t had that much trouble with the Captcha not working right since, um, never. They kinda shit the bed on this one.

@RedOx don’t go sharing the secret goat privileges with outsiders…

@Thumperchick
Damn. Now everyone knows!

@JoeSeadog Because otherwise jerks like me would get them in .02 seconds, without even having to be awake. Believe it or not, your odds improve with the robot check.

@sammydog01

Reading the rants and the whining and the “suggestions for improvements” is half the fun!

Well, it’s all the fun for me, since I didn’t get one!

@sammydog01

@sammydog01 He barely qualifies as a puppy since he’s two weeks from his first birthday, but here you go. Have a Torben picture taken just for you.

@sammydog01

/image “cute puppy”

@Kidsandliz @Purplepawprints @f00l You guys weren’t who I was talking about but thanks for the puppies anyway!

@Kidsandliz @Purplepawprints @f00l You guys weren’t who I was talking about but thanks for the puppies anyway!

@sammydog01 Well, I figured I fit your criteria of who should post a puppy, so…

@CaptAmehrican

/giphy In-fucking-deed.

@RiotDemon

This topic has my very favorite ever fucking topic title

@carl669 good bot…err carl.