Endless Jokes: a Meh-rathon compilation with all the forum links and all 220 Meh faces in one GIF



Endless Jokes: a Meh-rathon!

Part 1

What do you call an orchid that only grows in Alaska?

We set up the joke, which everyone knows is the hard part. Now, all you need to do is come up with the ending. So go ahead and post your best punch lines in the comments. And keep checking back for more great deals and unfinished jokes all day long!


What is Captain America’s favorite fast-food chain?


What do you call a trout that refuses to eat worms?


What does Dame Judi Dench order at the 24-hour pho place?


What is the most popular college major among despondent Oklahomans?


We interrupt this unending parade of endless jokes and great deals to bring you this absolute joke of a product.

What’s the joke, you ask?

We don’t know, but it’s definitely on you!

Why did LeBron James open a laundromat?


What do you get when you put several vegetarian hedgehogs in a hammock?


What do Norse Gods call an ab workout?


What did the Venetian blinds salesman say to the horse who had difficulty understanding the concept of the free market?


A man walks into the bar. He’s holding an enormous scroll. He unfurls it and proceeds to read the names of forty famous Kyles, growing more enthusiastic and unhinged with each one. By the time he reaches Kyle McLaughlin, he’s sobbing.

The bartender says:


Seven intoxicated pigeons convene at an all-night diner. One of them has an eye patch. The other six are wearing tiny baseball caps. Or, we should say, normal size baseball caps for pigeons (if there were such a thing) but small compared to standard-sized baseball caps for human heads.

The waitress walks over and says, "Well if it isn’t:


What do you get when cross a rapscallion with an Italian scallop?


I like my men like I like my chai tea…


How many members of Albert Pujols’s entourage does it take to assemble a deck chair purchased at Home Depot?


Did you hear the one about the hobbit who played table tennis with the Pope?


What do you call a sheet of corrugated steel that’s floating in the Dead Sea?


Why did the seasick cucumber go to the homeopathic pharmacy?


Five Wayne Gretzky impersonators walk into the bar, each one carrying a pair of skis and a fall wreath.

One of their skis knock over the drink of a man at a table near the door: a guy drinking rum and orange juice to drown his sorrows over not being cast as Prospero in the production of The Tempest being put on by the employees of the dental technology company where he works.

The bartender says:


What do you call delicatessen for intellectual giraffes?


How many Imps does it take to screw in a lightbulb in the hours just before dawn?


Dracula is out to dinner with his wife, Draculina. They’re at a place known for their croquettes. Any flavor combination you can think of, they’ll make a croquette out of it. Tonight’s special is the “Triple-B”: a croquette made of beef, bacon, and blue cheese. Dracula orders it but seems disappointed when it arrives.

“What’s wrong, honey?” asks Draculina.

To which Dracula replies:


What did Jackson Pollock order at the diner?


Guy walks into a bar carrying a plastic statue of Elvis dressed as Abraham Lincoln.

“Can’t bring that in here, I’m afraid,” the bartender says.

“Why not?” the guy says, despondent.

“Well, because,” the bartender says…


What do you call an android with an addiction to over-the-counter pain medication?


You hear the one about a towel salesman at the Greek buffet?


What did the rabbit with one ear say to the tortoise with one eye and also a first look screenwriting deal with a major production company?


Some ants decide to leave the colony. They’re sick of gathering food all day for the queen. They want to get jobs in the service industry. They apply to waiters at a local trattoria that, since being bought by a Venezuelan family, also offers excellent arepas.

Seeing that they’re ants, the manager feels comfortable with their ability to carry food. But he’s a little concerned that they might eat the dishes themselves, so he says, “How can I trust you not to nibble?”

To which the ants reply:


How many lightbulbs does it take to install a lightbulb socket?


We interrupt this unending parade of endless jokes and great deals to bring you this absolute joke of a product.

What’s the joke, you ask?

We don’t know, but it’s definitely on you!

What did the hungover Armenian baker say to the environmental lawyer looking for a good loaf?


What does a bowling ball with no finger holes have in common with an A10 fighter plane?


What kind of car would Ernest Hemingway drive?


How is a divorce like an episode of Seventh Heaven?


I like my men like I like my In & Out burgers…


You hear about the cowboy with the successful real estate company who won a Daytime Emmy?


How do you get a family of talking possums out of a locked gondola?


What do you call a meteor shower that happens during game 7 of the World Series?


How many paranoid androids with the bends does it take to fight off the karma police, on a battleground among some fake plastic trees?


What did the Carmen Sandiego impersonator say to the Princess Leia lookalike at the New Years’ Eve party?


Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

A cartoon rabbit.

A cartoon rabbit who?


A snail walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll it be?”

Snail says, “Can I see your beer list? And also, would you mind turning that television to the Orioles game?”

Bartender grabs the remote, channel surfs for a bit, and finally says, “Don’t seem to get the Orioles.”

“How is that possible?” the snail says. “It’s the local team!”

Bartender looks confused. “Buddy, this is Portland, Maine.”

Snail says, “Oh, I see what happened…”


I like my men like I like my belt buckles…


Why did the chicken, who was a decorated officer in the chicken military, cross the road, which was called North Hibernia Road?


What kind of pearls do you get from clams who believe in astrology?


What was Jane Austen’s excuse to get out of going to the opera?


Hear the one about the alien from a planet of pure light who crash-landed in the parking lot of a Love’s Truck Stop?

*We set up the joke, which everyone knows is the hard part. Now, all you need to do is come up with the ending. So go ahead and post your best punch lines in the comments. And keep checking back for more great deals and unfinished jokes all day long!


How many monocle salesmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb, taking into consideration the removal of the old lightbulb?


What do you get when you cross an opinionated dachshund with a loaf of artisan marble rye?


What did Frida Callow say about the finale of Breaking Bad?


You hear the one about the three-eyed fry cook who slept in The Forbidden Tree House?


I like my men like I like my cardio…


Why do horses hate mozzarella sticks?


What did the member of the Atlantis city council say to Poseidon?


I like my men like I like my bowling shoes…


Why did the Moroccan fly boycott its SAT results?


You hear the one about the attractive pole vaulter who was afraid of mint?


What’s the difference between a depressed rattlesnake and a vacuum salesman?


How did Bambi celebrate the Milwaukee Bucks’ 2021 championship?


You hear about the new legislation pertaining to cabbage temperature?


What did the inflatable wacky arms man say when it was announced he’d won the limbo contest?


Why did the chicken, who was a renowned performance artist in the world of fowl, cross the road, which separated the city from its closest suburb?


We interrupt this unending parade of endless jokes and great deals to bring you this absolute joke of a product.

What’s the joke, you ask?

We don’t know, but it’s definitely on you!

What do you call a cow with two PhDs?


Why did the ornery radish want a blue checkmark on Twitter?


I like my men like I like my visits to the zoo…


Did you hear about Fred Durst getting invited to speak at the grand opening of a new Seven-Eleven?


A bald cigar salesman walks into the bar, starts trying to people stogies.

“Hey, buddy, can’t you read?” says the bartender, pointing to a sign that reads, ‘No sales on premises.’

“But you sell booze all the time,” the cigar salesman says.

“Yeah, well, it’s different for me,” the bartender says.

“Why?” asks the cigar salesman.

“I’ll tell you why,” says the bartender…


What do you call a rock dove that works at a law firm?


Why do halibut love Tom Clancy novels?


Hear the one about the walrus who got into dental school?


To be continued