Another month already?! (June 2017 nominations)
9It’s that time of month again to nominate a new scapegoat! –
because @DrunkCat can only get so much blame, y’know. And while June is “Great Outdoors Month”, do you really want to subject yourself to all that nature can bring you – like bugs and pollen?
Or is this more you? …
Anyways, the blaming must go on!
- 17 comments, 62 replies
- Comment
Can we nominate “The Russians”? They seem to be getting the blame for everything anyway.
@JanaS Novel, but I feel the blame lies with #45 and his involvement first.
My nomination: @cranky1950 for the You Bastards incident, yet not following through to reinstate his VMP.
@narfcake lalalalalalalala I can’t hear you
@cranky1950 IS THIS BETTER? CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?
@narfcake huh
@cranky1950 Good. You heard me.
@narfcake
Hearing stuff makes @cranky1950 cranky.
Have you noticed how often @cranky1950 is cranky?
@cranky1950’s hearing may be cranky, but it works just fine.
/giphy cranky
@narfcake Uh my mommy says I can’t use the internet next month.
@cranky1950
all them weird wimmen will fix that right up for ya.
Additional nomination that won’t happen anyway: @snapster. We still haz no catshirts. Yes, I’m aware of having to build out and equip HQ2 first, but this is the internet – and shit happens faster on the internet than in real life. So by that count, meh/mediocre/mediocritee should have been selling catshirts before any these sites existed already!
/s
@narfcake This is true. Because of this lack, I was forced to buy several shirts during a recent wootoff. Wait, that’s still on @DrunkCat.
After all, I usually don’t make people pay up.
If you intend to bribe me to STFU, the bribe had better be amazing, and you will have to pay in full up front. If I don’t think your bribe is amazing, it doesn’t matter if you think it’s amazing.
I reserve the right to reject lame bribes and bribes that are not very appealing.
I reserve the right to tease people who offer to bribe me.
I reserve the right to pit potential bribers against each other.
NO FOREIGN-INTEREST BRIBES OR FOREIGN-SOURCED BRIBES, altho I will consider accepting bribes from people on foreign vacations, depending on circumstances.
@f00l I bribe you one Amerikmeh orange cow pie.
@Kidsandliz
I’ll let you taste-test.
@f00l One burns them, not eat them. What are you? A dog or a toddler?
@Kidsandliz
that’s a state secret.
I could tell you, but then i’d have to …
@f00l give me a zillion authentic USA dollars?
@Kidsandliz
/giphy authentic USA dollars.
@Kidsandliz
Sure
/image “monopoly money”
/giphy "i could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you"
@f00l
@kidsandliz
woah.
well, that /giphy outta take care of it.
I am the eternal blame. All elections hence forth are fraudulent.
@DrunkCat
I wouldn’t mind making you into an Eternal Goat, if you would show up and be way drunken and catlike and goaty in a more energetic and frequent manner.
Blame accusations deserve snarky acceptance or snarky admissions of guilt, or snarky rebuttals, or snarky empathy, or snarky insults, or snarky drink-talk or similar.
@f00l I’ve copyrighted the word snark so you already owe me like, $220.
@DrunkCat
That could be a problem.
http://cocatalog.loc.gov/cgi-bin/Pwebrecon.cgi?ti=1,0&Search_Arg=snark&Search_Code=FT*&CNT=25&PID=yie232JUw55U_ypESVfvaktZFyYi&SEQ=20170528000611&SID=1
@DrunkCat
Payment sent.
Check you SpitCoin
account.
I nominate @hollboll not only due to the fact that she was always helpful as a CS representative, but also for all of the months where she was more than eager to goat the “winner” of the elections.
@PlacidPenguin What might be a problem is that she has never admitted she is staying on this board after she has left. Look at JonT - he vanished, others have vanished…
@PlacidPenguin I think we should give @hollboll a break from all of us, at least for a month or two. She could be pretty tired of dealing with all of our problems.
@hollboll I just want to say thank you, again, for the extra things you did, not just for me, but also for others, too. You don’t know how happy you made Mom when you sent the extra Valentines Day cards to her at the nursing home. And you made me extra happy when you gave me back my Kickstarter K.
You really are the bestest.
Please drop by once in a while and say hi.
@PlacidPenguin
I would love to see @Hollboll and @katylava be Goated.
But I can’t go for this, until we see that @Hollboll or @katylava have the energy to participate in the forums of their own accord. I don’t mind dragging a regular kicking and screaming toward Goathood, but don’t wanna Goat someone who may need a break.
@Barney
But of course @hollboll deserves a break.
@PlacidPenguin I’m really hoping she will come back and join us like @katylava has.
Don’t Forget goatslive.com
Be a goat! They get to do yoga, and you know, stuff.
I nominate @huja for the ridiculous number of recent topics created combined with an altruism score of 0.4. Total goat material.
/giphy huja for goat
@sammydog01 I regret I have but one like to give to sammydog01
@sammydog01 . . . also, keep in mind I wrote y’all haikus until my finger tips were numb.
@huja
@sammydog01
@huja is goatlike
Jumping into all topics
Creating haikus.
@f00l boom!
@huja
Ooh ooh you just raised your altruism score!
Way to go!
@huja I never got a haiku.
@Barney
Barney purple
Barney, that purple,
To the purple in the Barney.
@Barney
Barney’s make up verse
Meh-a-culpa to you now
Pardon my faux pas
Someone missed the rules
Haikus are five, seven, five
Hi, @PlacidPenguin!
So with that said now
And with the right syllables
My little haiku
@Barney loves purple.
Loves loves loves loves loves purple
Because it’s lovely
@narfcake
@huja
@sammydog01
@PlacidPenguin
@Barney
A perfect haiku
For Purple @Barney must be
Amethysted.
If @huja voted
Goat be, @huja can practice
Making Purple Poems.
@narfcake
Rules are just like the manual. Nobody reads them.
I
all of your haikus. Yours, too, @CaptAmehrican.
@narfcake
How about:
Barney is purple.
To the purple in Barney;
Barney, loves purple.
@PlacidPenguin learns
To make lovely haikus flow
For Purple @Barney.
/image purple field
@huja
My daughter had a
creative writing project
for biology
she wrote some haiku
because her teacher is nuts
hope she gets an A
@Barney is purple
@huja should be the June goat
So say we all,meh
@CaptAmehrican meh
@CaptAmehrican
The Sailor makes good defense
Of @huja for Goat.
(Counting “Capt” as one syllable).
Last chance to vote people.
/giphy just saying
@sammydog01
/image snl mr bill
I don’t really understand why I wanted to post that, but couldn’t help self.
Huh whut?
???
@f00l Really, haven’t heard this in 30 years and it started rolling around in my head 2 days ago, I figure why not infect others.
@f00l
/giphy oh noooooo
@cranky1950 Is anyone else convinced that Neil Young was wearing planet of the apes makeup?
@cranky1950
Yes. Others are convinced.
I demand a recount there have obviously been millions and millions of illeagle votes.
@cranky1950 that was quick. It’s not even the first yet!
@cranky1950
/giphy illeagle
/image illeagle
@cranky1950
@cranky1950 HA! I see it isn’t even 11PM CST and you have the goat icon. @DrunkCat owes you big time for being spared at least 1/2 hour, if not more of his reign. You won hugely. You are doomed.
@Kidsandliz Well in that case I’m going to bed, maybe the absentee ballots will go the right way.
@cranky1950
/giphy recounting absentee ballots because cranky, which probably doesn’t matter anyway because this is /giphy and what’s searched rarely makes sense
Congratulations, @cranky1950! It will be a wild month, so get on with it.
@OldCatLady
Now don’t make it all pleasant for him.
@f00l That was a serious prediction. Think of the last time I predicted upcoming events, which was May 8, the day before 45 fired the FBI director and the world went apeshit. I just want @cranky1950 to stay in one piece, so he can suffer his entire term.
@OldCatLady
Understand.
But I expect him to have some self-discipline and stay seriously Cranky.
@cranky1950
I voted illegally for you trillions and zillions of times. I personally stuffed all the real and virtual and imaginary ballot boxes in the entire universe woth votes for you.
And no one bribed me either.
Why?
1 Well, for starters, you’re Cranky. That’s a plenty good reason.
3 And also when I created a extra lazy Rolling Stones thread, and then you had to arrive and make some remark about the Grateful Dead. The Dead are very fine, and I’m glad you showed up to be cranky, and you obviously need some negative reinforcement here, on general principles.
B Cause I felt like it.
7 And just 'cause.
AA Ha ha ha ha ha Prove It, Cranky.
/
Whaddaya know! Here’s your song.
/youtube you can always get what you want
P-the-fuck-S. I just bought some Wellington reds and whites over at woot. Bought them after you got Goated.
I shouldn’t have. I have plenty. But the end of the Wellingtons will come someday, the vintner has retired except for selling the remaining bottles.
Your fucking fault, Goat.
And no I prob won’t share any with you.
But I do hope, for your sake, that all the wimmen 'round you are weirder than ever, weirder than all get out. Maybe that will help Cranky get through it.
@f00l holy crap @cranky1950 is goat??? what trouble can I cause this month??? after what he put ME through, I will have to be my most devious !
@mikibell
If we are all thoroughly EVIL for a month, we know he will make spiritual progress thereby. We owe him that. He deserved that. He needs that.
It’s a dark and nasty job, but someone’s got to do it.
@cranky1950 Go make a goat thread or I will. Our official goat thread starters both left the company.
Blaming @cranky1950 because I hit 11 red out of the 13 lights on the way to work. Double blame for all the idiots who don’t turn on their lights when it’s wet (wipers on = lights on) even though it’s the law.
@narfcake
Wet in LA? Is this a prank? Did the kids at CalTech setup sprinklers on the commuter routes?
@f00l Morning drizzle/sprinkles. It happens.
@narfcake
<I’m playing Captain Kirk here>
But how often does in sprinkle in LA, Mr Spock?
But
*how
often?