@Dizavid so here I was on a pub crawl and a guy whipped his out. Everyone wanted to put their mouth on it and blow on it. (Real story despite the innuendo)
@Dizavid Do you have a friend who drinks things that are higher proof than water?
Is your mouth wired shut, so you must insert breathalyzers into each nostril and blow through the nose and average the results?
Would you like to keep one in your pocket and one in a secret stash under the bridge?
Would you like to have more than three little mouth pieces?
Do you want to start a competitive head to head breathalyzing league?
Are you prone to keeping something like this in your pocket but then getting wasted and forgetting to empty your pockets and washing your device with your pants?
Are you concerned about the accuracy of your blood alcohol reading, and need to consult a backup device to confirm what the first one said?
Would you like to have a spare battery kept safely in a case that looks identical to the device you need the spare battery for?
Is there a chance that you break this out at a bar and someone uses it that you’d rather not get it back from (that might be herpes!), so you’re glad you have a backup at home?
Do you subscribe to the theory that two is one and one is none?
Do you have a bug out bag that you might need to keep a spare in?
Do you get blackout drunk and forget where you left your cool gadgets?
Is the previously long leg on your very wobbly table now just a little bit short after adding the water bottles you bought yesterday to the other three legs?
Do you have a Faraday cage at home to keep spare electronics in for the coming Pulse, and want to be the only person who can call drunk or sober once all drinking occurs by candlelight in a dystopian future?
Are you clumsy when drinking and maybe dropped your breathalyzer into your martini by accident?
Would you like to donate your extra to a local AA chapter?
Would you like to give away a breathalyzer to the night’s high score at the bar?
There are plenty of reasons to own two of these for some people.
Pretty meh Amazon reviews, and as most of them say - while they aren’t very accurate, they do give a vague idea of if you’ve had too much. The ones law enforcement use employ a different, more accurate technology which require calibration every once in a while. Unfortunately there is no foolproof doodad that has a reasonable price point and can offer accurate results without needing maintenance.
@thechilipepper0 If the are sold on meh-you know the answer to that. If by some chance, you get a product sold on meh that appears to function as advertised, don’t worry-it will soon break.
Why does anyone ever buy this shit. You know if you’re drunk. Because you bought something on meh. If you’re buying this to check if you’re legally drunk before driving that’s fucking terrifying. If you think you have to check don’t drive.
@unksol I mostly agree, but what if you feel pretty sober but the legal limit in your area is pretty low so you want to give yourself a little reassurance?
Also there is just the fun factor (that I’m guessing a lot of people would buy it for) of get drunk with friends and keep checking your numbers and comparing score. Still undecided if it would be worth it for that, myself, even if it was really accurate.
For anyone complaining about the accuracy of these machines, I’ll remind you the ones that Law Enforcement use on the side of the road are also inaccurate, and almost routinely dismissed in court/by the prosecutor because of said inaccuracy. What you get popped on is the calibrated, stationary, large breathalyzer in the tank at booking.
Just like the handheld model Deputy Jerkface on the side of the road uses, this is used as a “probably intoxicated” measure.
@ecanada Minor correction… He is Deputy Jerkface when he pulls you over, but when you see him pull over someone else who is driving drunk he is the hero Sheriff.
"What we’re getting at is that Cliff isn’t going to read the number on the AlcoHAWK breathalyzer you administer to him and say, ‘Ah, but my friend, shall we blow again, for I have heard tell of these devices not exhibiting pinpoint accuracy, and therefore I must humbly rebuke its claim! Pshaw!’ "
You guys don’t party with researchers much, do you? Most of the ones around here would do nothing else, though fortunately it would distract them from driving.
The last time I bought a pair of cheap devices like this on Meh, I got two pieces of crap that got thrown out - one before it even left the package. When following instructions and repeatedly trying to get a valid reading after drinking high-octane beer for hours returns 0.0, you didn’t even come close to getting what you paid for.
Having two also makes it easier (more sanitary?) to use as a party game. Simple rules to play concurrently with whatever else you have going on. Every hour or so you see where you’re at. Then lowest score takes an extra shot.
One of the best bachelorette parties I’ve been to.
Specs
What’s in the Box?
2x AlcoHAWK Slim Ultra unit
6x Mouthpieces
Price Comparison
$52.50 (for 2) at Amazon
Warranty
1 Year Alcohawk
Estimated Delivery
Monday, July 13th - Thursday, July 16th
Ignorance is bliss.
One of the rare times the face has color. Nice.
And animation.
/buy. Only doing it for the 3 doo-dads
@jayman007 It worked! Your order number is: enchanting-gross-yard
/image enchanting gross yard
@jayman007 The bullet point was a typo, this is two breathalyzers (as the title and photo shows)
Jesus, .88? I want to party with THAT man!
@amgaweda Jesus seems like the right person to ask since they would definitely be dead.
Does this prevent me from buying things on meh while drunk?
Why the FUCK would anyone ever need two of these? Meh it to hell, stop doing this BULLSHIT of making us buy more than one of shit all the time.
@Dizavid so here I was on a pub crawl and a guy whipped his out. Everyone wanted to put their mouth on it and blow on it. (Real story despite the innuendo)
@Dizavid According to the reviews, they’re garbage and tend to stop working. Maybe a backup would be helpful.
@Dizavid Do you have a friend who drinks things that are higher proof than water?
Is your mouth wired shut, so you must insert breathalyzers into each nostril and blow through the nose and average the results?
Would you like to keep one in your pocket and one in a secret stash under the bridge?
Would you like to have more than three little mouth pieces?
Do you want to start a competitive head to head breathalyzing league?
Are you prone to keeping something like this in your pocket but then getting wasted and forgetting to empty your pockets and washing your device with your pants?
Are you concerned about the accuracy of your blood alcohol reading, and need to consult a backup device to confirm what the first one said?
Would you like to have a spare battery kept safely in a case that looks identical to the device you need the spare battery for?
Is there a chance that you break this out at a bar and someone uses it that you’d rather not get it back from (that might be herpes!), so you’re glad you have a backup at home?
Do you subscribe to the theory that two is one and one is none?
Do you have a bug out bag that you might need to keep a spare in?
Do you get blackout drunk and forget where you left your cool gadgets?
Is the previously long leg on your very wobbly table now just a little bit short after adding the water bottles you bought yesterday to the other three legs?
Do you have a Faraday cage at home to keep spare electronics in for the coming Pulse, and want to be the only person who can call drunk or sober once all drinking occurs by candlelight in a dystopian future?
Are you clumsy when drinking and maybe dropped your breathalyzer into your martini by accident?
Would you like to donate your extra to a local AA chapter?
Would you like to give away a breathalyzer to the night’s high score at the bar?
There are plenty of reasons to own two of these for some people.
@Dizavid but, it works for Costco
@djslack There aren’t enough stars for you.
@Dizavid @djslack maybe You should consider writing for Meh?
@Dizavid well earlier I bought one for $22 dollars so I think this is better deal
@Dizavid Incentive to finally go out and make a friend?
Damn!!! I got mine from the Mehrathon for $12! I could’ve gotten two for $19??!! Wait, why would I need two of these???
@shiranissosexy See above.
Damn and I bought one @ 12 during the mehrathon … curse you mediocrebot!!!
@stevenmontes welcome to the Meh fan club
You get two of these or three of these? The front page bullet points say three, perhaps erroneously.
@djslack thank you, fixed now. That was a typo, this is a 2-pack
@dave @djslack Oh Wait! You Already Do?
So … finally there can be concrete proof that Meh shoppers are a bunch of drunks?
@nolrak so is that how my closet got so full? Well, one more drink tonight can’t hurt.
@nolrak seriously, there is no other way I’m buying this junk
wait…in for two
I need these mostly because of Meh’s new site changes… Hic.
Shit-I just bought one for 19 (less the 10% VMP discount) on morningsave about a week ago.
How about a version with a Meh interlock that prevents you from clicking “Buy” on random crap if you blow over a 0.2?
Seriously love the meh face today! But I’m the DD, so I wouldn’t need them! Meh
Why does the front page say 3 doo-dads? Does 2 mean 3 now?
@Xanei otherwise known as new Mehth
@Xanei oops, bullet point typo. This is a 2-pack
@dave I figured as much. Ty for the fix
@hchavers @Xanei @dave A forum dev over at meh is doing a bit too much mehth here lately…just sayin’
Pretty meh Amazon reviews, and as most of them say - while they aren’t very accurate, they do give a vague idea of if you’ve had too much. The ones law enforcement use employ a different, more accurate technology which require calibration every once in a while. Unfortunately there is no foolproof doodad that has a reasonable price point and can offer accurate results without needing maintenance.
@thechinglish according to my public defender sister, the ones law enforcement use are not accurate either so…“always choose to blood test.”
@goldnectar @thechinglish Save me $19 and PM me your sisters number
@thechinglish u could always stop a cop and compare results… would 2-1 make u more right? would it matter at that point? meh-
Do these at all work?
@thechilipepper0 If the are sold on meh-you know the answer to that. If by some chance, you get a product sold on meh that appears to function as advertised, don’t worry-it will soon break.
Shouldn’t this be offered over at CaseMates.com?
@Mehrocco_Mole an add-on that everyone would buy but no Casemates customer would ever use
Does it work on halitosis breath? Asking for a (distant) friend
Next week it’ll be a twofer-Tuesday cobra radar detectors.
/buy
@allen721 It worked! Your order number is: deadpan-tart-lithium
/image deadpan tart lithium
Why does anyone ever buy this shit. You know if you’re drunk. Because you bought something on meh. If you’re buying this to check if you’re legally drunk before driving that’s fucking terrifying. If you think you have to check don’t drive.
@unksol I mostly agree, but what if you feel pretty sober but the legal limit in your area is pretty low so you want to give yourself a little reassurance?
Also there is just the fun factor (that I’m guessing a lot of people would buy it for) of get drunk with friends and keep checking your numbers and comparing score. Still undecided if it would be worth it for that, myself, even if it was really accurate.
It’s not bluetooth… meh. Uber and lyft available. Kthx
Will these be as acurate using my anal vapors???
@Bumplepimp More so, if you’ve been butt chugging that Mad Dog.
When you go to compare the results, the order of operations is something to carefully consider.
@Bumplepimp @djslack Could stop laughing-thanks for making my day.
I cant believe there was no comment on the model number! H4WK1N6-W4R35.
“HAWKING-WAREZ”
They are telling you all about the product right there!
For anyone complaining about the accuracy of these machines, I’ll remind you the ones that Law Enforcement use on the side of the road are also inaccurate, and almost routinely dismissed in court/by the prosecutor because of said inaccuracy. What you get popped on is the calibrated, stationary, large breathalyzer in the tank at booking.
Just like the handheld model Deputy Jerkface on the side of the road uses, this is used as a “probably intoxicated” measure.
Also it’s $9.50…
@ecanada Minor correction… He is Deputy Jerkface when he pulls you over, but when you see him pull over someone else who is driving drunk he is the hero Sheriff.
@Al_Coholic haha very true
Christmas Presents
for a couple of 🥴 drunks I know. 
🥴
"What we’re getting at is that Cliff isn’t going to read the number on the AlcoHAWK breathalyzer you administer to him and say, ‘Ah, but my friend, shall we blow again, for I have heard tell of these devices not exhibiting pinpoint accuracy, and therefore I must humbly rebuke its claim! Pshaw!’ "
You guys don’t party with researchers much, do you? Most of the ones around here would do nothing else, though fortunately it would distract them from driving.
/giphy temporal-stimulating-brandy
Cancel my membership. {Redacted} Thank you.
@djruss39 Hey, you already canceled your membership.
Lol its cool. Just dont envision myself getting drunk in public anytime soon
The last time I bought a pair of cheap devices like this on Meh, I got two pieces of crap that got thrown out - one before it even left the package. When following instructions and repeatedly trying to get a valid reading after drinking high-octane beer for hours returns 0.0, you didn’t even come close to getting what you paid for.
Someone should have used a breathalyzer before changing the code to exclude the smiley calendar.
Having two also makes it easier (more sanitary?) to use as a party game. Simple rules to play concurrently with whatever else you have going on. Every hour or so you see where you’re at. Then lowest score takes an extra shot.
One of the best bachelorette parties I’ve been to.
Party responsibly.
sent this to my state trooper friend. “yeah…that thing looks great but if you need to check, just take a cab”
A cab, what year is this, 1999?
I keep clicking on the link to mediocritee each day but its the same shirt every time
I wouldn’t want to prove to myself I’m drunk to ride an electric scooter. I’ll just wait to find out when I’m on the floor… crying or laughing…
Is this 2 pack the same ones that come with the handy dandy CVS security stickers and the exploded old batteries from 2002?
Got mine today! Very interesting to track your BAC over an evening. Don’t drink and drive! Thanks, Meh!