Get Good

If you ever dig into history a little bit and start thinking about the day-to-day lives of the major intellects of all time, you start to realize something—old-timey genius just hits different.

Sure, there are brilliant people today. They’re curing diseases and figuring out how to make rockets do stuff like “land gracefully” instead of “get fucked into the ocean,” which was the previous prevailing consensus solution of all rocket scientists.

But those brilliant people still don’t have quite the same vibe as, say…a Leonardo da Vinci or an Isaac Newton or a Marie Curie. Da Vinci wanted to paint hands better so he started to draw hands better so he started having his assistant bring him actual hands to cut apart and figure out.

That feels a bit overkill. Maybe literally.

And Newton? Somebody asked that dude about planetary ellipses and he basically said “idk fam, brb” then came back in like a month after inventing calculus so that he could answer properly. The only field of special mathematics we’ve managed to forge around here is the increasingly elaborate approaches to Meh-rathon/SideDeal discount math, where one time the logistics behind an IRK offer accidentally disproved the existence of two previously accepted irrational numbers, setting quantum mechanics back a decade and creating a minor plot hole in Good Will Hunting. (Don’t shoot the messenger, but we hope you at least snagged one yesterday so this wasn’t all for nothing…)

Anyway, Marie Curie. All we have to say about her is that she was the first woman to win a Nobel Prize for science and then, like a hobbit finishing a hearty first breakfast, looked over at the field of chemistry and thought “what about second Nobel Prize??”

We were going somewhere with this.

Oh, the lamp.

All of those brilliant minds up there had one thing in common—they all achieved what they achieved without a damn phone in their hand all the time. Wooden desks. Paper books. Pens and pencils. The severed hands of the underclass. These were the tools of brilliance predating the modern age.

So when you think about your own workspace, maybe you need fewer gadgets and windows to the internet and more rolls of parchment and simple, adjustable desk lamps.

This is that.

Just look at it.

You could totally imagine yourself clicking this on and orienting it just right and coming up with some brilliant thought that nobody has thought of before, like trying to place the marketing of an overstock LED light somewhere along the pantheon of the transformative minds of all time. And sure, it’s a little bit of a stretch to invoke Marie Curie’s name in the same breath as our target customers, many of whom right now have pending credit card transactions reflecting their deliberate purchase of a bag full of regrettable nonsense.

But still.

You’re feeling the lamp vibe either way, we can tell.

And since we don’t actually expect you to scribble on your parchment without your phone in sight, it even has a wireless Qi pad built right into the base.

Best of both worlds?