Tumbled 6-Piece Vintage Wash Sheet Set
- Pre-washed to make them extra soft for you
- Four matching pillowcases!
- Worn in vintage look (they’ll never know they’re new)
- Your choice of color
- Model: Z1P-Z0P-Z1P
Your new bedding, appropriately refined
Let us take your mind someplace for a moment.
It’s 10 p.m.
You’ve just put brand new sheets on your bed. You look at the old ones piled on the floor with just a little contempt. They should have been rags by now. Is that stain barbecue sauce or red wine? Impossible to know—you like to party.
Then you notice the light creases on the new sheets, now stretching across your mattress like alien crop formations. You probably should have washed those before putting them on the bed. Sheet factory mice put their little butts everywhere.
But whatever. That’s not the point.
The point is that it’s super satisfying to put brand new sheets on your bed, mouse butts or no mouse butts. Then you get to bicycle your legs around once you lie down, feeling the nearly frictionless zip-zop-zip-zop of your skin against the fabric. No, this isn’t why you sleep alone. Yes, it would still be worth it if it was.
Good stuff.
But then heartbreak lies ahead, because eventually you’ll run them through the wash and they’ll never be the same. Next laundry day you might not even feel up to a single zip, much less any zops.
Well, guess what. The true bedding connoisseur knows that new unwashed sheets are a cheap thrill for unrefined oafs and charlatans. Good, clean, freshly-laid sheets are where the real magic is.
These are pre-washed. They’ll feel awesome right out of the package. And every wash after that.
Now let’s get you some zips and zops with the sophisticated grace worthy of your station.
