We’re not selling this deal anymore, but you can buy it at Amazon

TravelMate Rechargeable Modern Hair Clipper Kit

  • The first product of 2020 is a cut above
  • Eh?
  • It’s a portable, sleek hair clipper with blades that are designed to stay sharper for longer
  • Great for giving yourself drunken vacation haircuts
  • Model: TM311, but we disagree; there is no such thing as too much 311
see more product specs

New Year, New Decade, New Head

Hey, Happy New Year!

Or, should we say, Happy New Decade! Welcome, friends, to the roaring 2020s!

Of course, we’re sure you don’t need reminding of the various unwritten rules pertaining to what you should do when transitioning from one decade into the next. Namely, we’re sure that you’ve all acquired the requisite gear to shave off all your hair, so as to start this next stretch of ten years fresh and bald, thus allowing your locks to grow in whatever way the universe deems appropriate, a symbolic gesture of giving oneself over to time’s whims!

Wait, sorry, what was that? You didn’t know about that? And furthermore, you don’t remember shaving your head in the past? Well, duh! You wouldn’t have done it last year. Because last year wasn’t the start of a new decade. Nor was the year before that. In fact, the last decade started January 1st, 2010! That’s 10 whole years ago! So of course you can’t remember exactly what you did that day. Plus, 2012 was on the horizon. You know, potential end of the world stuff and all that. And the decade previous? We were dealing with Y2K scares.

In other words, we’ve gone through a few stressful changeovers, and so it’s natural if you forgot you performed what is a pretty basic human ritual: shaving off all your hair every 10 years.

The problem is, even if you don’t remember, that doesn’t mean they don’t notice. We’re talking about everyone else out there, whose cleanly shaven heads are hidden by winter hats right now. They see your old hair, the product of a bygone era, and they judge you. It’s like having an unzipped fly or a dollop of mayo on your face: unless they’re your close friends, they won’t mention it, but that doesn’t mean they haven’t seen it and made a mental note of your cosmic insubordination.

That’s why you should get this TravelMate Rechargeable Hair Clipper Kit. Not only is it sleek, modern looking, and portable; its blades have been custom-cut so that they stay sharper for longer.

In other words, it’s the perfect product with which to give yourself the buzz you need to prepare for the 2020s!

And if you’re wondering about the other unwritten rules about the changing decade, just know this: they probably have something to do with whatever we’re selling tomorrow!

So far today...

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