You Probably Shouldn't Have

You might be thinking, “Say pal, where might I find myself one of those wacky IRK bags?” They are here, but there’s a catch, because we enjoy to both torment and reward you. I suggest you read that page carefully. Now, on with this mess:

“Happy Valentines Day, dear!”

“Oh, honey, you really didn’t have to get me anything…”

“Well, you know I’m just a SUPER thoughtful person. And believe me, you are gonna FLIP when you see what I got you.”

“Okay…”

“And here it is, your very own: Tacklife Metal Detector (Advanced)!“

“Wait… now I can finally find the missing bullet casing in the forest where you were tragically offed by that shady but well-connected businessman who knew you were too deep into his dealings and needed to tie up loose ends!”

“Yeah!”

“I can exonerate the innocent bystander of the charges in your murder!”

“Yeah!”

“I can put you to rest in a cathartic yet bittersweet ending where we say goodbye but you say don’t worry I’ll be waiting before disappearing from this world forever potentially to face oblivion!”

“Y-yeah, that.”

“…or I guess we could just, like, hang out for a while longer? Walk on the beach? Find some lost coins?”