Rock Solid Shiatsu Massage Pillow
- It has glowing red eyes and it is here to punish you
- But, like, in a good way
- 4 rotating nodes to pulverize your aching muscles into relaxation
- Works on everything from your neck to your feet
- Will not arrive by Christmas
- Model: RSMP, for Rock-em Sock-em Massage-em Pillow
Forget About It
A massage pillow? For $25? A great gift? Offered days before Christmas? So that it will definitely not arrive in time? What gives??
Okay, so hear us out. You order it today. You tell yourself: I can get this and give it as a birthday present or save it for next year.
Then, you fly home for Christmas. You’re in those seats. You’re bumping into other holiday travelers, all of whom think that they are the only ones having a rough travel day, the only ones rushing to their gates, the only ones whose flights were cancelled or delayed.
Maybe you got one of those super budget airline tickets where you can’t even bring a carry-on. Maybe you didn’t realize it until you got to the airport.
Then there’s just being away from your house or apartment, sleeping in a bed you’re not used to, friends, family, all that stuff–even if it’s fun, it’s still exhausting.
Or, maybe you’re not going home for the holidays. Maybe you are the home for the holidays. Maybe you’re hosting this year. And so right now you’re in the middle of prepping stuff for the big meal, and looking for the leaf for the table, and cleaning your house. Like, really, really cleaning your house. This isn’t having a couple friends over for dinner and a drink. This is family. This is the holidays. Tradition is on the line. And if you blow this, these people will not let you live it down.
Or, fine, maybe you’re going to have a nice, easy, quiet Christmas. A totally nice and chill Christmas.
Even so, the point stands: after all the festivities, when you’ve likely forgotten it’s even coming, it’s not bad to get a nice, stress-relieving, tension-pulverizing, heated massage pillow in the mail.
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Rock Solid Shiatsu Massage Pillow 28
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All I Want Is To Brush My Teeth For Christmas 5
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Christmas music palate cleansers? 26 -
Merry month of Meh-mas weekend edition 18 -
Merry Month of Meh-Mas Impeachment Part 2 45 -
Mehndalorian Madness 11 -
Help the Scapegoat out. 22