Is your beard on purpose?

“Live with intention,” many a pop-guru intones, and despite the whiff of Nag Champa and the glitter of healing crystals that the message carries with it, we agree. Whatever you do, do it on purpose, not because you’re following the path of least resistance. Like the difference between growing a beard, and just letting it grow. We ask the hairy of face to ask themselves: have you embearded yourself because you truly like the way it looks, how it feels, what it says about you? Or is it just the lowest-maintenance option, like sweatpants for your face?

Hey, whatever, beard what you dig. Let your freak follicles fly. But do it for a reason - a better reason than just because maintaining a clean-shaven face is kind of a hassle. Here’s a decent electric shaver from Remington, the “I was so impressed I bought the company” company. It flexes! It pivots! It’s got something called “Intercept Shaving Technology” so you can pretend like you’re a Top Gun pilot! And since it’s cordless, you can shave whenever and wherever you’ve got a few minutes to spare and a total disregard for the people around you.

We’re selling it cheap, too. Partially because it’s refurbished. As we’ve explained before, refurbished products at this price level are usually unsold store returns. But, just in case, Remington assures us all that factory refurbs are completely dissassembled, soaked in barbicide, boiled, sterilized, bathed in rubbing alcohol, and examined with a magnifying glass. Each one is cleaner than your face has ever been, even though we doubt it has ever plowed through anyone else’s gross cheek-thatch anyway.

So feel free to use it to plow through your gross cheek-thatch, quickly, easily, and without recourse to creams, oils, or unguents. Of course, the shave isn’t as close as a real razor. But if a really close shave was that important to you, we wouldn’t be having this conversation, would we? If you’re not into an overgrown patch of face-weeds but you don’t want to spend time face-gardening either, here is your face-lawnmower.

There. Now we’ve offered you a low-hassle, decent-quality shaver for practically nothing. If you pass it up, you’re making a decision to live with your beard. You’re going to live with intention even if we have to trick you into it.