Best Before... uh-oh.

Look, we’re just gonna make this clear right up front: the 100 AromaPolti capsules that come with this Polti Capri espresso maker are past their “Best Before” dates. Their prime generally peaked sometime this past spring. So how dare we still sell them?

Well, first, it’s not as if they instantly turned into poison or something when that date passed. It’s not even that they’ll taste awful. Maybe the flavor won’t be as strong or subtle. But they’ll more or less do the job. They just won’t quite be at their “Best”.

Just think about that price. You could pay $25 for this espresso maker and the past-their-prime pods, then go spend another $30 for 50 fresh pods. Even if you throw all the old pods out, that’d work out to $55 for 50 espressos, way less than you’d pay for each cup at a coffee shop.

Each new bundle of capsules you buy would drive that lifetime per-espresso cost down. And you get to keep the espresso maker - again, not a deal you’re going to find down at the local Caffe l’Overcharge.

It’s like the whole cheap-inkjet-printer-but-you-gotta-buy-the-ink model. Except the espresso maker is only cheap because we’re selling it cheap. And the pods are a lot cheaper than printer ink. And taste a lot better.

And if you don’t mind drinking the aged pods, well, then you’re really in the clover. You should buy three of these and get 300 capsules for $75, a ludicrous 25 cents per espresso. Then, instead of cleaning the machines, you can throw each one out when it gets too dirty to use.

…No? Still not buying it?

OK, how about this: this is a pledge drive. Our goal: getting rid of these. Our loyal members: you. And instead of a tote bag or a DVD set of Downton Abbey, you get a “free” espresso maker with each $25 donation. You know, to show your gratitude for making this fine programming possible.

But wait! If you donate today, we’ll throw in a bag of 100 “Best Before Spring 2016” coffee capsules, suitable for use as packing material, in children’s art projects, to make less-than-optimal coffee to drive away unwanted houseguests, or even to drink if you don’t mind drinking slightly stale coffee at - and this is the really crucial part - 25 cents a cup. How much difference can a few months make, anyway?