An Exorcise In Sales: A Halloween Meh-rathon

“They burst into my room, these vile men who’d treated me not even as a servant but an instrument of cleaning and song,” said the voice from the smoke. “And they found within my little cramped closet of personal space, a stranger, the man from the bottle. They thought they had been invaded, and rushed to subdue him. What I learned watching the events that transpired was that, unlike me, this man had been a warrior. Those who attempted to corner him met a violent end. And when they were dispatched, I watched the man sneak from the room, carrying with him one of their katanas.”

Chad thought: Wait, katanas? And then Chad thought: Just let him tell the story and don’t ask.

“I didn’t see what happened next as I had only the window with which to view the world, and I did not have my full array of powers by that point,” said the voice from the smoke. “I heard screams and cries for help. Then I heard loud explosions. Soon, the room filled with smoke. My view, in many ways, resembled yours currently. I could see nothing through my window, my sightline completely clouded. There was much rocking and some flames. More explosions. And then, I heard water rushing into my former quarters. Suffice it to say, the ship sank, and I with it, in my bottle. But the same principle that served as my warden turned out to be my savior. You see, I could not get out by any means, but also no water came in. I remained in this shipwreck for years. Early on in my exile at the bottom of the sea, I lived a ‘woe is me’ life. I awoke and spent my day looking out the window, dreaming of being free. Again, I need to stress, I was inside the bottle, but I was not in a glass container. I was in a room. There existed, within this room, only a bed, the aforementioned window, a towering bookshelf, and a ladder with which to access the higher-shelved volumes. But I ignored these last two elements.”