We’re not selling this deal anymore, but you can buy it at Amazon

Outdoor Life 30L Backpack

  • An outdoor backpack and an indoor backpack and a standing-in-the-doorway backpack
  • The big padded pocket is either for a laptop or a hydration bladder, but not at the same time
  • School/office supply organizer could hold pencils and business cards, or arrowheads and blowdarts and the shells your people use for currency
  • There are other pockets, and straps, it’s like a backpack, you know
  • Model: OL99110G (from now on let’s call this “Ol’ 99110G”)
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I'd Rather Be Hunting & Gathering

You go to work every day. Or school. Or shopping. These things happen in tamed environments with all the frills of civilization, like electricity, plumbing, a lack of wild dog attacks, and pamplemousse La Croix.

But that doesn’t mean they’ve tamed you. Inside you’re a beast, a brute barely out of the trees, a primitive primate red in tooth and claw sounding your barbaric yawp over the well-gnawed bones of your prey. In other words, you like to go hiking sometimes.

How can you retain some vestige of your bestial spirit when walking among man’s works. Here’s a do-and-don’t guide to staying wild at the office park or whatever:

Do: use this Outdoor Life Vector backpack. It’s got a big pocket for either a laptop or a hydration bladder, which you can tell everyone so they’ll know what kind of a savage they’re dealing with. It’s made of ripstop fabric, the next best thing to bison skins. Plus it’s got “outdoor” right there in the name. Take that, roofs and walls!

Don’t: smear your work clothes with warlike markings of clay and blood. Those things are hell to get out of khakis.

Don’t: haft your own tools by affixing sharpened stones to wooden handles with cured strips of animal sinew. The poor ergonomics of these tools could produce repetitive strain injuries.

Don’t: fashion a ceremonial headdress from the skins of the animals you’ve killed to imbue yourself with its life force. Fur is murder.

Don’t: discard spoken language in favor of emotive grunts and howls. You’ll probably accidentally sexually harass someone.

So far today...

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  • Deal ended .
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  • (including shipping)

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