Get Witchy

It’s weird to think that “Mr. Halloween 16” Battery Operated Witch Leg Kicker" could be considered a self-explanatory product name. And yet! Go ahead and take a look!

What is it? A pair of battery-operated kicking witch legs. Duh!

Have you always dabbled with the idea of becoming that weird Halloween house on your block? The one that takes it a little too seriously? A macabre Griswold, if you will?

Well, then this thing is a great place to start!

Are you already the weird Halloween house on your block, catching fearful yet excited looks whenever October rolls around and it’s time to open the garage and turn your front yard into a horror show?

Well, then this would make a great addition to your already extensive menagerie of terror!

Just remember: it’s not all about the decorations. If you really want to set yourself apart on Halloween, you’ve got to serve up something good to eat for the trick-or-treaters that come your way. Fun-sized candy bars? Everyone does that. Full-sized candy bars? Cooler, but still not very original.

If you really want to impress the neighborhood, why not hand out some totally horrific savory meals? Something like:

• Michael Oscar Meyer Weiners
• Duck Conf-IT
• Rack-o-Lambterns
• Frankenbeansenstein
• Hocus Poké-us
• Scream of Mushroom Soup
• Mac & Jason Voor-cheese
• Texas Barbecue Chainsaw Massacre
• Nos-farro-tu
• Deviled B-eggs-er’s Night

Are these puns good? No. But what do you want us to do? Write 300 words about some goofy kicking legs? Yeah, right! (But please: buy them.)