Mr. Coffee 10-Cup Thermal Carafe Coffee Maker (Refurbished)

  • The “Optimal Brew” feature is called that for a reason: because it brews between 195 and 205 F, the optimal temperature range for coffee according to the National Coffee Association, who would probably know
  • 10-cup thermal carafe keeps coffee hot without a hot plate wherever you take it: the breakfast table, your nightstand, your stretch hot-tub limousine
  • Water filtration disk removes up to 97% of the chlorine in your water so swim in this coffee at your own risk
  • Removable water reservoir so you don’t have to use the carafe to fill the water
  • Freshness Timer warns you when it’s skunked, while Cleaning Cycle nags you when it’s time to clean
  • Model: BVMC-PSTX91 (let’s see if we can figure this one out: Brew Vigorously, Mr. Coffee - Please! Signed, The Xylophones 91 (we really need to hear this band the Xylophones 91))
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Exciting! Unless you're broken inside like we are.

What happened to us? What’s wrong with our souls? How have we grown so jaded in our years in the discount trenches that we see only mud where others see flowers poised to bloom?

Case in point: this Mr. Coffee java station. We look at it and see a pretty decent countertop coffee brewer. The thermal carafe is nice, keeping the coffee hot without need of a hot plate. The easy-fill removable water reservoir comes in handy, too. Replaceable filter to get most of the chlorine out of tap water, cool. Freshness timer, nice touch. And it brews right in that optimal temperatur sweet spot, between 195 and 205 F. Yeah, pretty good.

But just “pretty good” isn’t good enough. A thousand or so five-star reviewers on Amazon see what we can’t: this is a coffee maker of miracle and wonder.

“Ranks High With The BEST! Mr. Coffee has really outdone themselves,” raves one. “Love. Complete love,” swoons another. “As close to perfect as you can come!” chimes in yet another. “I will continue to push this onto everyone I know! LOL”

Wow. It… must be really cool. What are we not seeing? Why are we able to talk about this coffee maker without resorting to caps-lock or exclamation points?

Wait a minute, this model first came out six years ago. Surely, those ecstatic reviews have chilled a little with the onward march of technology, right?

Wrong. The raves just keep coming. August 26, 2016: “Best coffee maker ever!” August 31, 2016: “Seattle Coffee Snob Approved.” September 23, 2016: “i LOVE IT!” October 2, 2016: “This coffee pot is absolutely amazing! Our expectations are blown away!” That’s this week, people.

Keep in mind, this unit cost at least 55 bucks when all these kudos were offered. Obviously, we’re missing something. If you’re as hardened and blasé as we are and you just want a decent coffee brewer, this is the one. If you’re able to appreciate the beauty and majesty all around you every minute of the day, it looks like this is still the one, according to the Amazon reviews. We just wish we could enjoy a cup of coffee that much. We wish we could enjoy anything that much.

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