Luminara Flameless Dog-Shaped Candle
Our Take
- It’s a fake candle shaped like a dog
- Either a Frenchie or Staffordshire Spaniel
- Condition: Waxy
- Model: Doggy
We've Created A Monster
Anyone else getting tired of the same old monsters. Dracula? More like Drab-ula! Zombies? A bunch of real zom-bozos! Werewolves? Get-the-hell-outta-here, wolves! Enough with the masked killers using gardening implements, with the typical ghosts and ghouls, and enough with the clowns! No, it’s about time we forge a bold new direction in horror. I’ve even roped in our own resident monster-sculptor @KoolHandJoe for his expert opinions on the matter. Let’s see what we’ve got.
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Have you heard of the tree of knowledge? Not quite the one in the Bible. This one whispers things to people, enthralling words, and they listen. Truly strange. Even stranger is that it only tells lies. Demonstrable lies, things that are proven untrue. Yet people still listen to it. They press their ear to the trunk and hear it whispering. They believe in its words. They swear by it, they worship at its “feet.” For a tree to talk, surely it must mean something. A situation so extraordinary must have reason, must have value! Soon it will say something meaningful, we’re sure of it! And as much as they listen, nothing is gained.
@KoolHandJoe: “This tree is where all the news your distant cousin that only communicates through by forwarding every news article on Facebook to everyone in his friends list comes from.”
Meh-rathon
What’s a Meh-rathon?
Normally, Meh is all about one deal per day—simple. But sometimes, we throw that out the window. A Meh-rathon is an all-day gauntlet of nonstop deals. One after another, untill we run out of stuff (or patience). It's chaotic. It's fun. It's a terrible way to shop responsibly. You've been warned.
