Lifesmart Truewash Universal Wet/Dry Sanitizing Appliance
Our Take
- It washes vegetables and produce
- Also: other stuff
- Looking for the IRK? It’s right over here!
Cleaning House: a Meh-rathon
MACE looks at the vodka he was about to drink from.
MACE
(voice quaking)
You mean this is poisoned?
ROY
No, I mean it might be.
MACE
And if I refuse to do either of them?
ROY scoots his barstool closer.
ROY
(whispering)
I’ll make you do one of them. You can rest assured of that.
While wiping the work laptop of Calvert Harrison, a project manager who recently left his position at the company for a comparable role with a rival, our IT department discovered a Microsoft Word file titled ‘CLEANING_HOUSE_SCREENPLAY_FOR_JS’ as well as several Notepad documents containing phone numbers and email addresses for people with a tertiary connection to Jason Statham. The screenplay was, by all indications, written on company time and therefore, per Calvert’s contract, belongs to us. So, please enjoy these excerpts and stick around all day for great deals on spring cleaning gear and stuff for getting outside. (And Mr. Statham, if you’re reading, this is available!)
Meh-rathon
What’s a Meh-rathon?
Normally, Meh is all about one deal per day—simple. But sometimes, we throw that out the window. A Meh-rathon is an all-day gauntlet of nonstop deals. One after another, untill we run out of stuff (or patience). It's chaotic. It's fun. It's a terrible way to shop responsibly. You've been warned.
