We can keep this one between us.

OK, here’s the plan: buy this. Give it as a gift. Don’t tell anybody where you got it.

See, under normal circumstances, when you buy something at Meh, we want you to tell everyone you know exactly where it came from - and how little you paid for it. It’s how we make our living. And when they hear how little you paid for it, you look like a shopping genius.

But this is the one time that we understand if you keep it to yourself. In fact, we recommend it. Imperial Pearl has been around for more than 100 years, adorning famous (and famously glamorous) icons like Rita Hayworth and Elizabeth Taylor. They’ve become one of the most respected, esteemed names in all of pearldom, and they’ve been owned by the same family that whole time. Associating their brand with ours will just drag them down, without making you look particularly good either.

Let them believe that these cultured pearls came from a jewelry store with marble exterior walls and a discreet little show window lined with burgundy velvet. Inside, you tell a light-loafered gentleman with a BBC accent and a John Waters mustache that you’re looking for something really special. “Ah, I believe I have just the thing,” he purrs, producing this stunning string from behind the counter. “Isn’t it magnificent? Shall I wrap it for you?”

That’s a lot more natural and believable than the real story: that you found them on a goofy late-nite bargain bin that also has puppet shows. You know you’re smart enough to shop here. You can strut about it with your next purchase. It’s kind of a miracle that Imperial Pearl deigns to do business with us in the first place. Like all Christmas miracles, telling the truth would only kill the magic.