Don't You Dry On Me

Has it started yet for you?

Do you mash your lips together or lick them several times an hour?

Do you feel the vague itchiness of desert-like skin?

Do you wake with a dry throat and a nose full of boogers solid as pebbles?

Do you get woozy at odd times of the day, blacking out for stretches–you can’t say how long–only to come to, naked in a field that once held livestock but now is home only to an array of pelts and bones, one of which you clutch to your chest, wondering what kind of creature could administer such destruction, fearing the answer might very well be: you?

Well, if you answered yes to any of the questions above, I have bad news: it means you are entering the cold, dry part of the year where you live.

Wait, what do you mean the last one has nothing to do with moisture in the air? Doctor Killboat told me it was just a seasonal thing, and that I should keep coming to his cave-office for observation. He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who would lie to me.

Anyway, the point is: it’s getting pretty dry out there. And by ‘out there’ I mean in your house.

Winter can be rough on your skin and your lungs because your heater sucks all the moisture out of the air. Yes, there are solutions to the minor inconveniences of the season: you should stock up on chapstick, for example, and get some good lotion for after the shower. But if you really don’t want to feel like day-old toast, you should also buy a humidifier to keep the air at least partially moisturized.

This thing can do that. It’s a ‘full home’ unit, which means it can humidify 2,000 square feet (which may be your whole home, part of your home, or your home plus a few hundred square feet) for 24 hours without a refill.

So why not get one now, when the seasons are just starting to change, and have it for when things really dry out?