The Spray Forward

As we head towards the hotter months, we’ve got a question for you: are you gonna let your weather app push you around for another summer?

If you answered, “Yes,” that’s good, actually. At least to an extent.

When you check the forecast and see an extreme heat warning at the top of the page, don’t try to be a hero and go out to do some yard work with the sun at its apex. If you need to get something done, get up early and do it before things get too spicy out there.

(Oh, and a note to the older dudes of suburbia: a failure to cultivate interests at any point in your life, thus resulting in lawn maintenance being your only hobby, does not constitute a need in this case.)

But what about those days when the National Weather Service doesn’t mandate that you spend a lazy day inside? What about when it’s, say, somewhere between 85 and 92 out, a day that’s too hot for a long run, perhaps, but the view from the window looks sunny and inviting? What do you do then?

In my experience, the answer is you say, “Ah, screw it! A little sweat never hurt anyone!” Then, you apply sunscreen, pour a cold drink, step outside, and spend about ten minutes reading a book before you get too uncomfortable and have to go back into the house with your head hung in defeat.

But that might just be because I don’t have one of these.

Were it only an outdoor fan, it would likely extend my reading time by a considerable amount. After all, it’s not just the sun or the humidity that gets to you; it’s the stillness of the air on certain summer days that really makes the difference. A little perspiration cooled by a machine-made breeze? What’s better than that?

Well, I’ll tell you what’s better than that: a breeze that is itself infused with a cool mist. And what makes this thing even more rad is that you can attach it to a hose. That means you don’t have to get up and refill a tank halfway through your hot deck hangout session. Because there are some summer days when moving at all is a chore, not to mention stepping back into the air conditioning to refill at the kitchen sink can be dangerous. You might not want to go back out.

The only problem for me is that my book would get wet. But hey, when has a little moisture ever hurt a book?

(Often. The answer is: very, very often.)