GoWise USA 12.7 Quart Deluxe Air Fryer Oven
- Big oven power in a little oven package
- Nice fat recipe book to keep your friends delighted and your enemies guessing
- 15 presets for your lazy ass
- Won’t I look stupid next to this thing? Not if you dress the part with something cool from Mediocritee
Buy Responsibly
Look, you guys are gonna do what you guys are gonna do (and a sale’s a sale), but we don’t love the idea of adding this thing to your existing arsenal of weirdo kitchen gadgets and appliances. Like, if you’ve ordered more than two things like this from late-night infomercials or YouTube ads that you didn’t skip fast enough, we’d probably just be further enabling your questionable decisions.
To be absolutely clear, of course, we’ll take your money. But, like…we don’t want to think about it too much afterwards. Making a living is hard enough these days without being up at night wondering if your elegant wordplay and natural marketing prowess led some poor schmuck to buy the mini air fryer that would finally convince his wife to walk out once and for all.
Poor guy. Sitting there all alone. Perhaps at the kitchen table. Maybe waving goodbye while twirling a Salad Tornado (two for $9.99 + S&H) and sucking pomegranate extract out of his Juice Goblin (four EZ-FLEX payments of just $20), all while polishing off the crispy goodness of a whole-ass rotisserie chicken prepared almost effortlessly LIKE A DAMN CHAMPION.
cough
Anyway.
As much as we’ve talked ourselves into being willing to dissolve an otherwise happy marriage for $59.99, we’d like to think there are people out there who are going to buy this, not as their 10th semi-novelty kitchen appliance, but as their first—and maybe only.
We’re talking about the law student who doesn’t have time to turn on her actual oven but manages to pass the bar exam fueled only by black coffee and air fryer kebabs. The grade school principal who needs to whip up a batch of steamed hams for his boss even though the oven is belching smoke. The tech genius who wants to prepare a nutritious roast from the back seat of his electric car after blowing $44 billion on—you know what, never mind.
The point is that we want this to be a lifestyle purchase for you, one that makes your life better every time you turn it on. And yes, if you’re a problem shopper with a long track record of poor decisions (and probably multiple IRKs in your past), well…we’ll take your money, too.
Again.
But with love this time.
By the way, it comes with a pretty kick-ass recipe book!
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GoWise USA 12.7 Quart Deluxe Air Fryer Oven 26
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