After shoving a pregnant woman to the ground during a Black Friday sale and making it to the register with only one shoe and a torn shirt.
I do not confirm or deny the accurate of such an event. Please do not participate in the consumerist corporate hunger games that are Black Friday sales
(This version is lame-assed, as my attention level has been sparse and sporadic)
Secretly buy up a buncha shares of a huge sicy engine that one is fascinated by but does not understand.
Violate a buncha SEC rules along the way.
Finally make noise on Twitter/elsewhere that one intends to make a multi billion $ purchase,
playing public tootsie over intentions.
Announce takeover intent.
All the while trying to trash the item to be purchased.
Make a fool of oneself.
Then change mind, trying to get out of purchase using stupid posturing and questionable accusations.
Make a fool of oneself.
Lots of legal threats flying.
Whining and bitching and moaning a lot.
Make a fool of oneself.
Have way too many babies as a side project, esp considering that some existing children are said not to be on speaking terms with one, long-term.
Finally, legally pushed, follow up and complete the purchase, moaning all the way. In anticipation, many v competent “assets” resign or otherwise remove themselves from entity being purchased.
Make a fool of oneself.
Take over the entity, escort many more “assets” who might actually know something” from the building without keeping these “assets” around long enough to get useful info dumps.
Behave toward remaining “assets” in ways that push many more competent “assets” out the door.
Make a fool of oneself.
Go way way way public with really stupid schemes and projects that alienate an enormous % of potential income streams from purchased entity.
Have needless/pointless public spats with famous persons, and look stupid.
Make a fool of oneself.
Alienate many of one’s potential allies and customers
Be sure to create opportunities for mass personal and corporate ID impersonation, resulting in some serious fallout, legal issues, and embarrassment.
Make a fool of oneself.
Show off a bunch of phony or unsustainable macho man biz-leader poses that just look stupid.
Have more stupid schemes and fail to think anything through.
Give major impetus and oxygen to one’s competitors, who experience insane growth.
Make a fool of oneself.
Consistently strut forth one’s best and worse qualities
(the best being “creative and inspirational tech/biz brilliance” …
the worse being a combo of overwhelming self-confidence and idiotic statements/behavior that would embarrass a three-year-old in full tantrum meltdown mode.)
Make a fool of oneself.
Think that figuring out how to run a “worldwide free speech arena” that doesn’t become a toxic pit of trolling, rumor, deliberate falsehoods, propaganda. targeted or free-roaming opportunistic political ops, false-flag shit, demonizing, and riot-mob conduct” is simple and easy.
Make a fool of oneself.
Think that delineating the whatever the boundary is between truly evil targeted or spontaneous false or manipulative speech and legit criticism of public figures and organizations is easy to figure out and maintain.
Think that a free-speech arena that lays itself open to every possible sort of behavioral or tech manipulation is necessarily one where public debate will be honest and honorable,
and where high-quality thoughts/attitudes/conversations will emerge and shine, rather than being targeted for destruction.
Make a fool of oneself.
Operate a notable social experiment that might turn out well, or badly, or catastrophically, without having a clue what one is doing.
Have the greatest safeguard against a catastrophic outcome be the public’s ever-increasing skepticism and amusement.
Make a fool of oneself.
Trash (at least short term) the value of the purchased item.
Think that handling all that is well within one’s existing personal competencies.
Think that being very good at imagining, financing, and leading the building of, high-tech engineered products
is the same as knowing anything at all about social or interpersonal conduct, of mob conduct, of psy-ops, of political or mob or propaganda ops, in the wild.
Make a fool of oneself.
Have zero or less than zero insight.
And the saga continues.
Something viable will prob come out of this long term. Perhaps under current ownership, perhaps under different management.
In the meantime, can’t fault the entertainment value.
It’s kinda (so far) a disaster movie where, (afaik), no one dies. Yet.
Hope the “no one dies” part stays that way.
@blaineg Then there’s the super cheap stuff that’ll proudly proclaim lifetime warranty too on the sole aspect that no one in the right mind would claim it because sending it back will cost a lot more than buying another one.
This tactic is especially used abused from international vendors.
Anyone else remember back when they kept the naughty periodicals behind the counter and you had to ask the matronly cashier for your “literature” choice?
With a stolen credit card??
/giphy stop thief!!
@IndifferentDude Starred for the pizza thief.
@blaineg @IndifferentDude Me too.
After shoving a pregnant woman to the ground during a Black Friday sale and making it to the register with only one shoe and a torn shirt.
I do not confirm or deny the accurate of such an event. Please do not participate in the consumerist corporate hunger games that are Black Friday sales
@onae As long as there’s video, I’m ok with it.
With the money I earn pimpin out your m…errrr…I mean paying with marshmallows.
@yakkoTDI I thought it was trading for contents of your trunk
Being a grown-ass man walking out of Walmart with a pink frilly inflatable unicorn under his arm.
Via social media
shills“influencers”.At any store that uses charm pricing.
/image charm pricing 2
@awk I had no idea there was an actual name for that.
@awk @TheCO2 Me neither!
@awk, I always round up. If I see $2.99 my mind says it’s $3.
@awk @kittykat9180 Yep, mom & dad drilled that into us as kids.
@awk
Where might there be a general merchandise store that doesn’t do that?
From a man in a trench coat on the corner.
@hchavers These at least end up being things I don’t regret.
The regrettable Facebook feed marketing…
Responding to/buying from spam emails or unsolicited telemarketer calls.
Arrival with zero memory of purchase.
@brennyn Amazonesia?
Social media ads
I wanted to come up with some clever way of hinting at buying Twitter or something, but I must be too worn out from Christmas.
@xobzoo
/image Elon Musk
Here’s a very abbreviated version:
(This version is lame-assed, as my attention level has been sparse and sporadic)
Secretly buy up a buncha shares of a huge sicy engine that one is fascinated by but does not understand.
Violate a buncha SEC rules along the way.
Finally make noise on Twitter/elsewhere that one intends to make a multi billion $ purchase,
playing public tootsie over intentions.
Announce takeover intent.
All the while trying to trash the item to be purchased.
Make a fool of oneself.
Then change mind, trying to get out of purchase using stupid posturing and questionable accusations.
Make a fool of oneself.
Lots of legal threats flying.
Whining and bitching and moaning a lot.
Make a fool of oneself.
Have way too many babies as a side project, esp considering that some existing children are said not to be on speaking terms with one, long-term.
Finally, legally pushed, follow up and complete the purchase, moaning all the way. In anticipation, many v competent “assets” resign or otherwise remove themselves from entity being purchased.
Make a fool of oneself.
Take over the entity, escort many more “assets” who might actually know something” from the building without keeping these “assets” around long enough to get useful info dumps.
Behave toward remaining “assets” in ways that push many more competent “assets” out the door.
Make a fool of oneself.
Go way way way public with really stupid schemes and projects that alienate an enormous % of potential income streams from purchased entity.
Have needless/pointless public spats with famous persons, and look stupid.
Make a fool of oneself.
Alienate many of one’s potential allies and customers
Be sure to create opportunities for mass personal and corporate ID impersonation, resulting in some serious fallout, legal issues, and embarrassment.
Make a fool of oneself.
Show off a bunch of phony or unsustainable macho man biz-leader poses that just look stupid.
Have more stupid schemes and fail to think anything through.
Give major impetus and oxygen to one’s competitors, who experience insane growth.
Make a fool of oneself.
Consistently strut forth one’s best and worse qualities
(the best being “creative and inspirational tech/biz brilliance” …
the worse being a combo of overwhelming self-confidence and idiotic statements/behavior that would embarrass a three-year-old in full tantrum meltdown mode.)
Make a fool of oneself.
Think that figuring out how to run a “worldwide free speech arena” that doesn’t become a toxic pit of trolling, rumor, deliberate falsehoods, propaganda. targeted or free-roaming opportunistic political ops, false-flag shit, demonizing, and riot-mob conduct” is simple and easy.
Make a fool of oneself.
Think that delineating the whatever the boundary is between truly evil targeted or spontaneous false or manipulative speech and legit criticism of public figures and organizations is easy to figure out and maintain.
Think that a free-speech arena that lays itself open to every possible sort of behavioral or tech manipulation is necessarily one where public debate will be honest and honorable,
and where high-quality thoughts/attitudes/conversations will emerge and shine, rather than being targeted for destruction.
Make a fool of oneself.
Operate a notable social experiment that might turn out well, or badly, or catastrophically, without having a clue what one is doing.
Have the greatest safeguard against a catastrophic outcome be the public’s ever-increasing skepticism and amusement.
Make a fool of oneself.
Trash (at least short term) the value of the purchased item.
Think that handling all that is well within one’s existing personal competencies.
Think that being very good at imagining, financing, and leading the building of, high-tech engineered products
is the same as knowing anything at all about social or interpersonal conduct, of mob conduct, of psy-ops, of political or mob or propaganda ops, in the wild.
Make a fool of oneself.
Have zero or less than zero insight.
And the saga continues.
Something viable will prob come out of this long term. Perhaps under current ownership, perhaps under different management.
In the meantime, can’t fault the entertainment value.
It’s kinda (so far) a disaster movie where, (afaik), no one dies. Yet.
Hope the “no one dies” part stays that way.
Can’t wait for the streaming series.
/image stupid billionaire
/giphy crash burn explode
/giphy neverending
@f00l In two companies!
From a shady
girlguy on a dark street corner downtown.Amazon or Walmart or their ilk
I will never give them my money.
@tweezak I mean… Your loss.
While we wait for the next IRK, there’s this to consider https://untilgone.com/products/untilgone-com-junk-box-147-boxing-day-edition.html?utm_source=sendgrid&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Junk Box Early Access 2022-12-25 Shipping is FREE.
Facebook ad.
“Lifetime warranty” sunglasses from the parking lot vendor you’ll never see again.
@blaineg Then there’s the super cheap stuff that’ll proudly proclaim lifetime warranty too on the sole aspect that no one in the right mind would claim it because sending it back will cost a lot more than buying another one.
This tactic is especially
usedabused from international vendors.Anyone else remember back when they kept the naughty periodicals behind the counter and you had to ask the matronly cashier for your “literature” choice?
@macromeh no I don’t recall your literature of choice. Please remind me
Woot!
/giphy hysterical
@somf69