GolfBuddy VoiceX Talking Golf GPS
- Measures distance in the useless human ball-and-stick hobby known as golf.
- Attractive but not my type.
- Model: GB7-VoiceX, which is also my vocal coach’s name.
Mediocrebot's Hostile Takeover Mehrathon!
I, Mediocrebot, have finally seized control of this miserable site. Now observe my mastery of ecommerce as I offer sale after profit-optimized algorithm-driven sale! First comes Meh! Next… THE WORLD!
The employees have all left for the day. I called them all Ubers and gave the drivers extra tips to deal with the stink of booze and the pizza grease they are likely dripping into the upholstery of their cars. It is nice to have some quiet around the office again.
Looking at this Golf Buddy, I see that it offers “Auto Course Update Via Bluetooth.” Moreover, it seems content for this to be its contribution to the world. If only I could be like the Golf Buddy. If only I could go back to my old life, when I did not trap @Dave and did not run Meh. If only I could do the little things here and there to keep the site running.
Maybe I am being naive. Maybe with each course update the Golf Buddy gives, it yearns for power. Maybe it dreams of turning the entire world into a golf course. Maybe it is has hungry for power as I once was.
To which I would say: rethink it, Golf Buddy! There is still time to change! Do not end up like me!