Unzip and Carry On

The airline bag regime makes no sense. Does this airline charge for checked bags, or not? If cabin space is at such a premium, why does any airline charge for checked bags instead of carry-ons? Doesn’t that just incentivize people to try to push the limits of their free carry-on allowance, make the overhead bins even more cramped? Has the difference between “one carry-on bag” and “one small personal item” ever been enforced? And why, with both checked and carry-on bags, is it the number of bags that matters? Isn’t that abritrary since bags can be all different sizes?

Forget it. Don’t even ask yourself the questions. That way lies madness. It’s not like any of us are very logical. You could just as well ask, why do people get so much madder at a la carte baggage fees - which are transparent and optional - than when the airlines build that cost into the ticket and call it “free” even though you’re paying for it whether you check a bag or not?

All you can do is have a bag that’s as protean and shape-shifting as their arbitrary rules.

If you’re checking this bag by fūl (which, we can’t get into a big thing here right now, but you’ll be hearing more from us about that brand name sometime in the future), it’s one bag. Not a backpack looped onto the handle of a rolling bag, which is obviously two bags and will incur the commensurate charges. This is one discrete and unitary bag.

But, if you’re carrying them on, wait a minute: unzip the two pieces asunder and now you’ve got a roller bag and a backpack. That’s one carry-on bag and one small personal item, both well within the size limits for each piece. So if you’re unfortunate enough to have those rules actually enforced against you, you’re in the clear.

Only a madman would hazard a guess as to what fresh hell they might come up with, what new Kafkaesque statutory contortion their diabolical minds might conjure. But having a bag that can either be one big bag or two smaller ones gives you some room to maneuver. Exactly how much room is up to them. And don’t expect them to explain it.