Crap has got a brand new bag

Yeah, we’re dragging this crowd-pleaser out once again. We’re speaking, of course, of the venerable Japanese tradition of the fukubukuro.

Shopkeepers offering a grab-bag of goodies to celebrate the new year dates back to the late Meiji period, which sounds like a super long time ago. Turns out it’s just over a hundred years, but hey, we’re on the Internet here, where people barely remember anything older than dogespeak.

Anyway, stores in Japan have been clearing out last year’s inventory with these “lucky bags” for quite some time. Frenzied fans invariably crash the servers- er, counters for their bags, or at least they did before shops started taking reservations to deal with the crowds. The “lucky” part is that the bags commonly contain items with sticker prices far higher than the prices of the bags: high-end couture, uncut gemstones, even MacBook Airs at the Apple Store in Tokyo. Yes, even Apple sells fukubukuro in Japan. No, we can’t help you emigrate there.

So how are we making this tradition our own? For one thing, it’s not New Year’s Day. For another, we’ve designed and produced our own very special bags. For an other another, most of the stuff won’t be all that good, putting it more in line with the burgeoning counter-tradition of the un lucky bag.

And even if your bag does contain something technically valuable, it’ll probably be a huge pain in the ass. Just ask the unfortunate Meh Kickstarter backers who now have to figure out what to do with a ridiculously huge gumball machine, their “reward” for backing us on Kickstarter. That’ll teach you suckers to trust us with your mailing address! A few people claimed they got something pretty good, but seriously, this time it’s all total shit.

OK, we’ve warned you. Whatever happens next is not our fault. Just remember: the fukubukuro may be a “lucky bag”, but not all luck is good.

!!!복주머니 행사를 시작합니다!!!
우~~더이상은 못참겠어!!! 우리가 왠만하면 내년에 하려고 기다리려했는데 진짜 못참겠어. 복주머니 알지다들? 근데 다들 알겠지만 이거 완전 뽑기야. 운좋으면 대박 안좋으면 쪽박!!!