Letters from the Mehditor

We hired a freelancer to write the entire Meh-rathon. But out of spite or laziness or or insanity he just wrote letters to random companies and people. Meh regrets the error.

TO: stan@marvel.com
SUBJ: Many unanswered questions

Hello Mr. Lee,

Excelsior! And all that.

I’ve loved your Marvel universe filled to the brim with colorful heroes and villains my entire life. The fact that you managed to make grown adults in neon pajamas fighting with the emotional issues of teenagers so entertaining is seriously amazing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for decades of entertainment.

I’m writing to you because we actually met back in 1997 at the short-lived and ill-fated DuQoin Comic Con. (You probably don’t remember me, but I was the guy escorted out by security for some trumped up charge about my Jimmy Olsen cosplay being too sybaritic.) Anyway as they were hog-tying me to carry me out of the arena and I was shouting that I love you, I distinctly remember you giving me a thumbs up and telling me to reach for the stars. I never forgot that advice, or you. I decided I would pursue my comic book dreams then and there. And all these years later, I just wanted to say:

Screw you, man.

This shit is HARD. Have you ever tried to draw hands? AWFUL. And guess what? EVERYONE HAS HANDS. You can’t just pull a Liefeld like with feet. Hands are important in a medium where roughly 40% of interactions center on punching.

I tried workarounds, but you can only have so many hook-handed, pirate-themed villains or heroes with their hands in their pockets. Readers start to catch on that you’re compensating for something. I tried hiding them behind Batman-style starbursts with “POW!” and “WHAP!” but that really makes dialogue tricky.

Anyway, I’ll never be good at this and I’ve wasted my life and it’s all your fault. ‘Nuff said.

Make mine Marvel,

Meh