Cleaning House: a Meh-rathon

EXT. DIVE BAR - NIGHT

ROY steps out of the bar and takes a burner phone out of his pocket. Just off from the door, three DELINQUENTS pass a blunt around. As ROY dials, one of them approaches.

DELINQUENT 1
Yo, dude. You want a hit?

ROY
(glancing over and holding the phone to his ear)
No, and if you finish and I see you throw what’s left of that on the ground, there’ll be issues, understand?

While wiping the work laptop of Calvert Harrison, a project manager who recently left his position at the company for a comparable role with a rival, our IT department discovered a Microsoft Word file titled ‘CLEANING_HOUSE_SCREENPLAY_FOR_JS’ as well as several Notepad documents containing phone numbers and email addresses for people with a tertiary connection to Jason Statham. The screenplay was, by all indications, written on company time and therefore, per Calvert’s contract, belongs to us. So, please enjoy these excerpts and stick around all day for great deals on spring cleaning gear and stuff for getting outside. (And Mr. Statham, if you’re reading, this is available!)