Day Zero T-Shirt
- A tech start-up swag tee? What am I, your street team?
- It’s American Apparel so buy a size up unless you’re a skeleton
- You’ll be seen as trying too hard by true hipster apathetics
- Piss off friends who want it. We’ll never do this green again
- It’s not made or endorsed by Kickstarter, it’s a shirt for our Kickstarter backers
- Marks you as a target for other oddball Kickstarter schemes
- They’re made to order so they’ll take 3-4 weeks
A badge of… let's call it honor.
You’re in, Kickstarter backer. You’re on the list. You’re among the ho-hum elite, the so-what set, the crème de la shrug.
You cared more about not caring than anybody else. And that’s so not meh, it’s back around to being meh again. Or something.
If anybody doubts your commitment to non-commitment, you just show 'em this shirt. Tell 'em about how it’s tangible proof that you were into meh from the first indifferent sigh. Let 'em know that it was only available to the apathy-early-adopters who backed meh on Kickstarter.
You may have to run after 'em to make sure they hear the whole story. It’ll be worth it.
Can you imagine the instant, indelible bond you’ll forge when you see a fellow meh-backer wearing this shirt in public? You two will exchange awkward shrugs of recognition. You’ll bump fists with your thumbs extended to the side, neither up nor down. You’ll return to the tepid sleepwalk of your daily lives.
For those of you wandering in here after Day Zero, well, you blew it, didn’t you? Really dropped the ball on this one, numbnut. This shirt was only for the fans who were the most enthused about our lack of enthusiasm. It’s ok, you got in eventually, right? You’ll just have to figure out how to live your life without this particular “achievement.”