Lie to Your Friends and Make Them Jealous {{CLOSED}}

JonT thought this was worth mentioning said
11

Here’s the deal, we want you to come up with the best fake rumor about what we’re doing and selling on the site today and Tweet it to your dozens of followers.

Don’t get us wrong, we don’t want you to spam and be that annoying person begging for subs/comments/likes/attention. We just want you to make your friends jealous that they didn’t pony up the measly $1 to get in like you did. Make ‘em think we have gold doubloons, a spaceship, jar of live and delicious cephalopods, mantis eggs, whatever you think is best.

This is a contest of sorts so submit only your very best Tweet, we have embedding functionality so just post the link. Whoever has the most votes will be the “winner” and get something that they probably don’t even want from that weird, dark, wet part of the warehouse.

EDIT: You have until Midnight Eastern

And the winner is: @MeatieOgre! Your skills of deception were good, almost too good...