Hell Bent for Louder

Sometimes we get our hands on something a little nicer than we should, just because the manufacturer took a chance on some odd features. Not bad features. They just bet on a new twist that didn’t quite pay off. Take this super-tough toolbag from Custom Leathercraft, the kind of bag that takes the term “multi-purpose” seriously.

The big MegaMouth opening stays held open by a metal frame, so you can dig freely through the many tools you’ll be able to fit in the ample bag. Plus it’s called “MegaMouth” and we think everyone should support names like that.

For smaller tools, thirteen variously sized pockets on the outside and eighteen on the inside provide a snug resting place for everything from your tape measure and your pliers, to your vice grips and your stud finder, to your oil scissors and your screw biter. (This thing holds so many tools we had to just start making them up.)

And… well, then it’s got these speakers built into it.

Just a couple of six-watt speakers, powered by either the included AC adapter or four D batteries, with an aux-in jack for audio. They sound good enough to replace your work boombox, sure, but they won’t get in your way if you don’t want to use them. Everything we said above about how good this bag is still stands. The speakers might have hurt the marketing of this bag, but they take nothing away from the bag itself.

If the mean guys at the worksite make fun of your speakers, well, they weren’t your real friends anyway. In fact, that would set you up for an opportunity for a kickass comeuppance scene just like in the movies. Learn some badass breakdance movies in advance. When some wiseguy makes a crack about the speakers in your bag, just go “Oh, yeah?” and start playing Herbie Hancock’s “Rockit” on the speakers.

You’ll show off some wild backspins and worms, end your dance in that pose where you’re laying on the floor with your head resting on your hand, and you’ll be the new king of the work crew. Thus begins your meteoric rise to owning the company. If there’s someone attractive around, that will be the day they become your boyfriend or girlfriend. We’d like to see some non-speakered tool bag do that.