Chom Chom Roller Pet Hair Remover And Reusable Lint Roller
Our Take
- Pets are great
- Their hair getting everywhere is not
- Looking for the IRK? It’s right over here!
Cleaning House: a Meh-rathon
LESTER sighs.
LESTER
As you know, I’m not exactly a friend of the Cleaning Service any more. But I do have my sources inside. And I like to keep tabs on their communications, in case they come for me. Apparently, the Spring Cleaning program began about a decade ago. They send low-level goons into the field to eliminate aging forming agents.
ROY
But why?
LESTER
The annual pensions only last as long as a former agent is alive. Even cutting a few years off the end saved the Service millions each year. But apparently, some young number-cruncher got a hold of the process. He’s aiming to save some serious money, and that means eliminating agents that aren’t about the kick the bucket on their own.
While wiping the work laptop of Calvert Harrison, a project manager who recently left his position at the company for a comparable role with a rival, our IT department discovered a Microsoft Word file titled ‘CLEANING_HOUSE_SCREENPLAY_FOR_JS’ as well as several Notepad documents containing phone numbers and email addresses for people with a tertiary connection to Jason Statham. The screenplay was, by all indications, written on company time and therefore, per Calvert’s contract, belongs to us. So, please enjoy these excerpts and stick around all day for great deals on spring cleaning gear and stuff for getting outside. (And Mr. Statham, if you’re reading, this is available!)
Meh-rathon
What’s a Meh-rathon?
Normally, Meh is all about one deal per day—simple. But sometimes, we throw that out the window. A Meh-rathon is an all-day gauntlet of nonstop deals. One after another, untill we run out of stuff (or patience). It's chaotic. It's fun. It's a terrible way to shop responsibly. You've been warned.
