9-Pack: Members Only Premium Boxer Briefs

  • “These are too constricting,” Goldilocks said about the first bear’s briefs
  • “These are too loose,” Goldilocks said about the second bear’s boxers
  • “These are just right,” Goldilocks said about the third bear’s boxer briefs
  • Flex fabric, odor control & dry comfort
  • $3 per pair sure beats $9.67 per pair
  • Sizing: Small (28"-30"), Medium (32"-34"), Large (36"-38"), XL (40"-42")
  • Advice to job applicants: “Be brief, and think outside the boxer”
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Oh, Those!

You want some boxer briefs? Well, we got 'em! Check it out:

Gregory ‘Four Arms’ Edwards

It’s not about the power of his punches but their rapidity. Quantity over quality. Nickname speaks to this: he hits so fast it feels like he must have extra fists. Fears the dark, though. A hold that obscures his eyes will do him in.

Thad Craig Dannerson

Has a killer left hook, but can be lulled into a confused stupor with the recitation of poetry.

Mort Digby

His tattoos are designed to make his arms look bigger and more muscular. Do not cower. His punches possess only a spindly strength.

Chop Morgan

There is some mystery about the name. Is it real? Perhaps the shortened and/or Americanized version of something from an Eastern European country? Or, on the other hand, is it a moniker? And if so, what is the meaning? Does it refer to the action–a terrifying motion to cut–or the noun–a large, flat piece of meat? But beware: all of these questions are a trap. As soon as you lose yourself in the mystery, he goes for the knock-out.

Clark Diamond

It is apt to possess the name of glittering stone for such a purveyor of shiners.

Oh, wait. Did you mean boxer briefs, like the underwear? Yeah, we have those too.

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